Worst Joke Ever 2024

[farang51]

31 minutes ago, Silencer said:

Heard January 31st, 2019 at 2400 hours......

 

"Happy New Year". 

Shouldn't it be "December" instead of "January"? Otherwise, I need it explained.

[fasteddie]

[fasteddie]

[Andrew Dwyer]

Take care guys this could happen to you !!

 

[Andrew Dwyer]

Meanwhile, back in ....... see if you can guess the country here ??

 

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[faraday]

Apropos the latest upgrade....

 

 

[Silencer]

17 hours ago, farang51 said:

Shouldn't it be "December" instead of "January"? Otherwise, I need it explained.

Yee....you are right.   Was never good at telling jokes. So now I can add at writing them too. ????

[Andrew Dwyer]

By a strange coincidence my Lazada delivery guy has the same first name as me :

 

[ballpoint]

Why is it that when a queen has a baby they fire a 21-gun salute, but when a nun has a baby they fire a dirty old canon?

[ballpoint]

A farmer goes to a livestock dealer and buys an anvil, a bucket, two chickens, and a goose. The farmer looks at his purchases and says, "Damn, I WALKED here. How am I gonna carry all this home?"
The livestock dealer said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went. While walking home he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1515 Mockingbird Lane?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live just down the road from there. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."
The little old lady said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"
The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
She replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket ... and I'll hold the chickens."

[ballpoint]

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise'.
The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down..
Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.
'Please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order?'
The husband replies, 'Chicken Surprise.'
'Ah! So sorry,' says the waiter, 'I bring you Peeking Duck!'

[jvs]

2 hours ago, faraday said:

Apropos the latest upgrade....

 

 

Yes the return to top of the page arrow has disappeared (again)!!!!Not funny but funny in a Thai way.

[fasteddie]

A young ventriloquist is touring Norway and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Norwegian blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humor!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde interrupts yelling, "You stay out of this! I'm talking to that little <deleted> on your lap."

[Paiman]

[teacherclaire]

The Second Wave........................

[teacherclaire]

3 minutes ago, Paiman said:

Looks like Explosive Diarrhea to me. Lol

Edited October 22, 2020 by teacherclaire

[teacherclaire]

1 minute ago, teacherclaire said:

Sorry, something went wrong.

 

Edited October 22, 2020 by teacherclaire

[teacherclaire]

Soon after somebody said that I wouldn't have balls. 

[fangless]

5 minutes ago, teacherclaire said:

Soon after somebody said that I wouldn't have balls. 

a load of balls for just for makin bacon!

[teacherclaire]

 My own full time hairdresser with his newest creation. Hallelujah! 

[teacherclaire]

2 minutes ago, teacherclaire said:

 My full time hairdresser with his newest creation. Make up could be a bit better. But I'm the coolest right now, but not much longer.  Hallelujah!