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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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47 minutes ago, Thailand said:

Was the shovel a groundbreaking invention?

I'll dig out a handful of dirt on the inventor if you fork out the prize for yet another earthmoving response!

 

PS;  Puns by the shovelful if you dig deep enough with DezLez!

3 hours ago, tomazbodner said:

What do you think of this one, then?

 

image.png.ce9a476eaa0984fea67f98778410a60d.png

I would say you should give her credit as it seems she was just ripe for the job and did not really make a tit-illating exposure of her assets!

 

PS;  I wonder how much interest was spent on the cards?

3 hours ago, tomazbodner said:

What do you think of this one, then?

 

image.png.ce9a476eaa0984fea67f98778410a60d.png

Credit where credit is due!

She obviously has the right qualifications to work there as she is outstandingly in a Mastercardclass of her own and with the correct visa!

26 minutes ago, Crossy said:

May be an image of text that says "She asked for a new mixer in the kitchen. I can't understand why she's not talking to me now?"

I wouldn't whisk asking her if it is music to her ears!

She might beat you with a drumstick or two!

23 minutes ago, Crossy said:

May be a Twitter screenshot of 1 person, food and text that says "garry @repeattofade I don't know now how to describe it but the peas are upside down EF AND ONIONS 3.00 £5.40"

When the chips are down we get yet another pie in the sky comment that really pea's some mushy customers off!

36 minutes ago, Crossy said:

May be an image of text that says "I spotted this on a wine truck. should follow them... ALLEGRO winers 3475 Brogue, PA 17309 Sechrist Road CASE OF ACCIDENT Bring Cheese and Crackers. Lots and Lots of Cheese and Crackers. (717) 927-9148 LK-163"

A few words of advice;

In addition to the cheese and crackers just make sure your truck is bigger than his when you ram it, get the local cops  diverted elsewhere with a bomb scare and have lots of empty containers handy.!

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Graphics with offensive language and nudity have been reported and removed.

 

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A man really hated his wife’s cat. One day, he put the cat in his car and took it to the end of the block and let it go. When he got home he saw that the cat had beat him home.

Undeterred, he put the cat in the car and took it a few miles across the city and tossed it out the car again. Upon returning home, he was astonished to see that the cat had beat him home again.

Determined at this point, the man took the cat and drove him across the city, over the river, through the woods, and clear across three counties before putting the cat outside and driving off.

Several hours later the man’s wife was at home when the phone rang. She picked up and it was her husband.

“Is the cat there?” He asked.

“Yes…” she replied.

“Well put him on the phone, I’m lost”

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Brian leaned on the bar at his favorite pub and announced “My wife Maggie must love me more an any woman has ever loved any man!”
The bartender inquired. “What makes you say that?”
Brian beamed with pride, “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work..."
"Maggie was so thrilled to have me around,that every time a mail or delivery person came by, she’d run down the drive waving her arms hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’"
 

The other day I went for a walk down a little road where the houses were numbered 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k and 1gig.

It was a trip down memory lane.

Seven dwarfs in a bath all feeling happy.

Then happy got out and they all felt grumpy.

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