Having my ears syringed is one of the most painful things I've ever done.

I can hear my wife perfectly now.

My wife said sex with me is boring because I get easily distracted...

Oh well, best get back on with it.

I saw a Facebook competition to win a meal at a Vegan restaurant, the caption said 'bring a friend'

I can't imagine that being successful.

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

So!  Here's a question for all mind readers.

4967420

Am I the only one thinking that the next covid variant will ruin the world cup?

A rather horny little old lady walks out of the grocery store with the bag boy carrying her groceries.

 

She whispers to him “Son, I’ve got an itchy p***y.”

 

Without missing a beat the kid replies: “You’ll have to point it out to me mam, all those Japanese cars look alike.”

 

Fetching my coat

3 hours ago, Crossy said:

I feel really old.

 

Tomorrow my Thai son from my second marriage will be 18.

One for the ex squadies!