17 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

I hate it when I have to ask for a joke to be explained.????

Uk budget.

5 minutes ago, overherebc said:

Uk budget.

I understand now, but his parents are from Ghana.

52 minutes ago, chickenslegs said:

I understand now, but his parents are from Ghana.

Ok I'll admit that.

4 hours ago, carlyai said:

Boy, girl or non-binary?

I go for non-binary. ????

Who cares what letter of the LBGTQ!?#  alphabet it falls under, I'll just stick with "big fat slob" as nobody with half a brain cell is going to touch that with any part of their body!

4 hours ago, ravip said:

What a load of rowlocks and hot air, they are just making waves, as they couldn't get a sail.

 

A couple in their 60s were sitting at the breakfast table when the wife announced that she had just watched her first porn video.

 

“That’s ... interesting. I hope you enjoyed it.” her husband replied.

 

“Yes,” she continued, “I was so young then!”

Einstein's Riddle Zebra Puzzle
The legend says that this problem was created by Albert Einstein in the last century. Einstein said that only 2% of the world could solve it.

 

There are five houses of different colors next to each other. In each house lives a man. Each man has a unique nationality, an exclusive favorite drink, a distinct favorite brand of cigarettes and keeps specific pets. Use all the clues below to fill the grid and answer the question: "Who owns the fish?"

 

Give it a try, not too hard >>> https://www.brainzilla.com/logic/zebra/einsteins-riddle/

 

 

1 hour ago, ravip said:

: "Who owns the fish?"

The guy with the hook and net?

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.”

 

The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says,

 

“Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

A young adult named Bob enters a confessional
Bob: “Forgive me father, for I have sined.”

Priest: “It’s pronounced ‘sinned’, but that’s unimportant, what have you done?”

 

Bob: “I divided the opposite side by the Hypotenuse on a right triangle”

4 hours ago, ravip said:

Einstein's Riddle Zebra Puzzle
The legend says that this problem was created by Albert Einstein in the last century. Einstein said that only 2% of the world could solve it.

 

There are five houses of different colors next to each other. In each house lives a man. Each man has a unique nationality, an exclusive favorite drink, a distinct favorite brand of cigarettes and keeps specific pets. Use all the clues below to fill the grid and answer the question: "Who owns the fish?"

 

Give it a try, not too hard >>> https://www.brainzilla.com/logic/zebra/einsteins-riddle/

 

 

15 minutes.

A lot easier than solving @roo860's or @overherebc's puzzlers.????

3 hours ago, DezLez said:

When posting on a joke thread,  no need to prove it's authenticity  - just enjoy the humour if possible or ignore it.

???? ???? 

On 24 April 2008 it was reported in the Daily Telegraph that a new logo for OGC had been introduced at the cost of £14,000. The logo caused embarrassment to the organisation due to its unintended sexual suggestiveness (appearing to show a gentleman fiddling with himself) when rotated 90° clockwise.

A spokesman for OGC said,"It is not inappropriate to an organisation that's looking to have a firm grip on Government spend."

7 hours ago, Martin71 said:

There's a match for Elvis.

Motorcycle hit the back of a car outside the house last night. One guy pushing through the onlookers shouting let me through, let me through. Someone said oh good, are you a doctor? No he said, that's my pizza.

 

 

 

 

My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness.

I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it."

I thought the dryer was making my clothes shrink.

Turns out it was the refrigerator.

Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.