.

 

 

NEVER buy a baseball cap made in China...

 

5 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Seems legitimate...

 

Nigerian astronaut lost in space needs $3m to get home

Should we start a gofundme account?

3 hours ago, dcsw53 said:

I hope that is bread stick (loaf) in his other hand!

A man walks into a bakery, points to some bread and asks;
'Is this Gluten free?'

Cashier: No. 
It costs £4.50

Another slice of the same!

 

Two slices of bread got married.
The ceremony was going quite well!

Until that is someone decided to toast the bride and groom.

God decides it’s finally time to send Jesus back to Earth.
*poof*

All of a sudden, Jesus finds himself on the side of a road in the middle of rural America. He sticks out his thumb for a ride and before long a man in a truck stops to give him a lift.

Not revealing his true identity, Jesus thanks the man for stopping.

Jesus:

Wow thank you sir, so many people just ignored me standing there.

Man: don’t worry about it! That’s just what good people do.

 

After a few minutes driving the man leans over,

 

Man: Hey, I have this sandwich here, ya want some?

Jesus: wow, thank you sir, that’s so kind of you! I’d love some.

 

A few more minutes pass and the man leans over again,

Man: Hey I have a few beers in the cooler back there, want one?

Amazed by the man’s kindness Jesus replies,

Jesus: wow sure! I’d love one. Thank you again.

 

After a few more miles down the road the man looks around suspiciously and says,

Man: hey…I uh, have a little joint here. Want to take a few puffs with me?

Jesus pauses for a second and replies,

Jesus: ya know what, why not!

 

So the man and Jesus drive down the road smoking the fattest joint listening to music and having a good time.

 

Finally, Jesus speaks up,

Jesus: okay listen! I can’t keep quiet any longer! You have been so kind, so nice, I want to tell you…I’m Jesus! God sent me down here to help the people and you’ve just been so kind. What can I do to repay you? Anything!

 

The man looks at Jesus with a grin on his face and says,

“Good sh!t, aint'it huh?”

 

3 hours ago, ravip said:

Should we start a gofundme account?

I have 25 satang that I am willing to donate, provided the Nigerians pay all the bank charges first.

 

That should not cost more than USD $100,000 in cash and untraceable notes.

The shortest sentence is I am. The longest sentence is I do.

6 minutes ago, MJCM said:

The shortest sentence is I am. The longest sentence is I do.

Dung beetle walks into a bar.... 

 

“Is this stool taken?”

I just told my suitcases that we are not going on holiday this year. 

 

Now, I'm dealing with emotional baggage.

1 hour ago, roo860 said:

Might not be a joke in the future?

^ In our house "You take the Chihuahua"