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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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Me and the wife were arguing about the size of tits. I'm telling her that it doesn't matter, she says it does.
Long story short, I start my new diet tomorrow.

12 hours ago, isaanistical said:

not sure if that's the joke, but this is Benny Hill, right?

O damtobajo????

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him.

"What in the world is wrong with you?! You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied,

"I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

1 hour ago, Zyxel said:

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the sex is better because she suffers from photosensitive epilepsy. 

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8 hours ago, ballpoint said:

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I like the kind of legs with feet on one end, and pus*y on the other...

What do you call a tiny mother?

 

A minimum.

Why are lawyers buried 12 feet under?


Because deep down they’re really good people.

How was copper wire invented?

 

Two lawyers fighting over a penny

What's the difference between a cat and a frog? 
 

A cat has nine lives, but the frogs croaks every night.

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A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops

into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the

Madam, drops down $500 and says,

"I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!!!"

The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you

could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."

The trucker replies, "Listen sweetheart, I ain't horny, I'm

homesick."

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