Great album!

Another classic.

1 hour ago, Zyxel said:

Shouldn't have named him Oliver.

One of those annoying things that you just can't un-see once you spot it.

 

It was a long two hours, as the priest heard no confessions, and was about to
close up the church and go back to the rectory.

 

Then he hears a noise, and sees a drunk man staggering toward the confessional
booth. “oh well, this ought to be interesting”, he thinks, as the drunk enters the
penitent booth.

 

The priest waited for five minutes, hearing all kinds of noises
from the drunk, but no confession.

 

So he finally whispers “can I help you, my son?”

 

The drunk replies, “yeah, can you pass me some toilet paper? this stall is all out”.

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."

 

Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the pharmacist and to demand an apology. Before he could say more than a few words, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute, please listen to my side of it...

 

This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I locked the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket.

Later, about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."

 

He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels; the phone was still ringing.

 

When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with bunch of perfume bottles on it...all of them hit the floor and broke.

Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got to answer it.

 

It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer...and, honestly mister, all I did was tell her!"