People Who Probably Died ---Or---Why Women live longer than Men

 

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2 hours ago, ravip said:

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his marine buddies, the onlookers, and even the Policeman, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, darling. You could be famous if you came on a date with me.

"So why are you committing suicide?"

 

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

At which point he pushed her/him over the bridge!

Whenever Rabbi Lieberman was going to marry two people, it was his custom to invite them into his study right before the wedding to give some last-minute spiritual advice.

 

The young couple, Sam and Sadie, enter his study:

 

Rabbi: I always like to give a young couple some advice. But you two look so happy that instead, I’m going to ask each of you why you’re so happy, so maybe I can pass the knowledge along.

 

First, so that Sam can be honest, Sadie, please step out of the room.

 

She does.

Rabbi: So, Sam, tell me. Why are you so happy?

 

Sam: Well, Rabbi, I’m a little embarrassed to tell you, but . . . well . . last night, I got the greatest blow job of my life, and now I’m marrying her! How can I not be ecstatic?

 

Rabbi: This I understand. So please ask Sadie to come in alone.

He does so, and she enters.

 

Rabbi: So, Sadie, why are you so happy?

 

Sadie: Well Rabbi, how can I not be happy? Yesterday night I gave the last blowjob I’ll have to give for the rest of my life!

 

 

Fetching my coat

 

 

On 2/3/2024 at 12:19 PM, billd766 said:

Just looking at that photo brings tears to my eyes

Nothing to worry about i think,Huskies never start!

4 hours ago, ravip said:

A group of Royal Marines were out a yomp when they saw a girl about to jump off the Tamar Bridge. So they stopped to see if they could help rescue her.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 33, stops with his buddies, walks through a group of gawkers, past the Policeman who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby...whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

 

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"

 

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his marine buddies, the onlookers, and even the Policeman, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, darling. You could be famous if you came on a date with me.

"So why are you committing suicide?"

 

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

Not bad but there are better suicide jokes!

19 minutes ago, Crossy said:

Will that make either the dog or the kid the "butt" of the joke?

I assume the dog will get the point of it even if the finger doesn't point back at the kid!

 

PS; I do hope that as a normal practice she does not pick and then eat her nose contents!

39 minutes ago, Crossy said:

 

Fetching my coat

 

Fetching my coat of armour and a round table to hide under I would suggest!

3 hours ago, jvs said:

Not bad but there are better suicide jokes!

Of course, every joke has a better version than the one posted 

25 minutes ago, ravip said:

Of course, every joke has a better version than the one posted 

So this old homeless guy who had not seen water or a razor for months was walking along when

he saw a beautiful girl standing on top of a small hill.

He saw that that was dangerous so he yelled to her to get back.She turned towards him and yelled that she was going to kill herself.

He was old and homeless but not stupid.There was something else he had not done for months.

So he walked up to the girl and asked if she could wait five more minutes before she would jump.

She ask why and he explained that if she wanted to die she should have sex one last time and he

was willing to help her.

She was horrified and did not react so the homeless guy walked away.

Then she asked him where he was going,he said:  "i will wait for you at the bottom of the hill "

 

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