On 4/7/2024 at 9:48 AM, dcsw53 said:

 

My father told me that the bit of a woman's leg between the top of her stockings and her underwear was called the funny zone,

 

Once you were there you were laughing.

29 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Where do I sigh up?

 

Note spelling error!

5 minutes ago, VocalNeal said:

 

My father told me that the bit of a woman's leg between the top of her stockings and her underwear was called the funny zone,

 

Once you were there you were laughing.

Is that where laughing gas came from?

8 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

A woman in labour suddenly shouts, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Don’t worry", said the doctor, "those are just contractions.”

Lots of short comings caused that delivery I assume!

11 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

When I was a boy the other kids would grab me, cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head .
Life was tough growing up in the gateau.

Is that how you claim you lost your cherry?

What did the cake say to the fork?

You wanna piece of me?

What do you eat if you 3.142 cakes?

You get fat. Pay attention, this is a thread about cakes, not pies.

How am I going to feel if I don't get upvotes on cake day?

I'm going to feel deserted!

What can I say? I'm a man with layers and I might even burst into tiers!.

The recipe said I had to put them in an oven turned to 180 degrees. I did that and the cakes burnt as I couldn't open the bloody oven door

Wait...wait....I can do batter than this.


You know what's yellow and swings from cake to cake? Tarzipan.

Do you know why they put candles on top of a birthday cake?

Because it's really difficult to put them underneath.

My wife mentioned she gets heartburn every time she tries to eat birthday cake. Silly bitch didn't take the candles off. 
 

 

 

I just lost my Job at the Elvis Presley snow globe factory.

I'm all shook up.

Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?

My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”

I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”

Weeks ago my mate got arrested by airport police for getting abusive about the luggage delays.

He's still waiting for his case to come up.

People are often shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician.

Burglars broke into my bathroom last night. Luckily they only took my broken scales.

They won't get a weigh with it.

I went to a fancy dress party as an alarm clock but I had to leave early.

People kept winding me up.