1 minute ago, Crossy said:

Where’s that coat ?
 

On 5/3/2024 at 9:04 AM, oxo1947 said:

Was it worth it?

21 minutes ago, Crossy said:

https://apnews.com/article/fact-check-austria-australia-salzburg-airport-counter-337704614289

3 minutes ago, ExpatOilWorker said:

https://apnews.com/article/fact-check-austria-australia-salzburg-airport-counter-337704614289

 

Why let the truth get in the way of a "good" joke.

 

Besides, that article is about Salzburg airport not Vienna...

24 cans of Pepsi at Macro 200bt.

6 minutes ago, roo860 said:

24 cans of Pepsi at Macro 200bt.

You bought the wrong brand if you want to use that coke pump on them.

1 hour ago, oxo1947 said:

 

The lone Ranger was captured by the injuns.

 

''Mr Ranger. You will die soon. But we are a fair people, and I grant you 3 wishes. What would you wish for?'' 

 

''I'd like to speak with my horse Silver.''

 

''OK. Go ahead.''

 

The Lone Ranger whispered in the horses ear and he galloped off. A couple of hours later the horse returned with a mountain lion. The Lone Ranger was not amused and chased the lion out of the tent. The indians were falling about laughing. The following day the tribe was again assembled.

 

''Two wishes left Mr Ranger. What do you wish for?''

 

''I'd like to speak with my horse Silver.''

 

''Go ahead.''

 

Again, as before, The lone Ranger whispered in Silver's ear. The horse sped off. Later that day arriving back with a sexy lady on his back. Next morning the lady broke free from the tend and ran off.

 

''One wish left Mr Ranger. Tomorrow you will die. What do you wish for?''

 

''I'd like to speak with my horse.''

 

''Go ahead; if you want to waste your last wish.''

 

The Lone Ranger walked over to his horse and whispered in its ear.

 

''We have been through a lot together Silver. But you must do this for me. Listen and listen good. For the third and last time; go get posse.''

Back in the 1950s, cowboy star Roy Rogers bought a brand new pair of expensive cowboy boots. Cowboy boots are notoriously stiff when they're new so Roy spent all morning oiling and working the leather to try to soften them up a bit. He then took them out onto the back porch to dry in the sunlight while he commenced with the rest of his chores around the ranch. Later that afternoon when Roy returned home he found that a mountain lion had snuck down out of the hills and had mauled and gnawed the ever-living crap out of his new, prized boots. Well Roy was so mad he was fit to spit. He went inside and grabbed his hunting rifle and whistled for his dog Bullet. He and Bullet jumped in the ranch jeep and headed up into the hills to hunt down that no-good puma. Well after tramping around for a bit Bullet picked up the mountain lion's scent and before you knew it Roy had him in his sights. Well one quick shot later the dead cat was tied across the hood of the Jeep and Roy headed back down to the ranch. When he pulled up in front of the house his wife, Dale Evans came outside and exclaimed, "Pardon me Roy? Is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?"

Two genies were walking away from the tree. They chatted as they removed their white hoods and cloaks.

 
"Sometimes I think humans are strange." 

"What you mean?"

"Well, take today. That guy, who released us from the bottle, and got three wishes as a reward. I can understand his first wish; to have a large house in beautiful landscaped grounds. And the second; to be surrounded by lots of beautiful naked ladies serving him cold beers. But his last wish beats me. Why did he want to be hung like a black man?"