I went to the doctor, as every time I smoke weed I get terrible constipation.

He said “Either $4it or get off the pot”

I just bought a Saddam Hussein t-shirt for a laugh.

It's a bit tight around the neck, but it hangs well.

I would have thought they'd give Napoleon a better horse.

For the first time in many years the streets in big cities of Germany are safe from the mass crime wave by illegal cultural enrichment immigrants because hundreds of thousands of drunk angry white footballs fans from all around Europe are 'patrolling' them.

“Won’t talk, huh? … Frankie! Hand me that scaler.”