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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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47 minutes ago, oxo1947 said:

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I missed the punch line---  

True Love Knows No Boundaries !

Guess Which One Won The Lottery ?

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In 1972, Richard Nixon became the first ever US president to visit China.

He was invited to Peking to mend a governmental rift, as Mao Tse Tung was fed up with using the stairs.
 

I was walking to my car near the Red Light District earlier today. A woman was leaning against it.
"Hand-job?" she asked.
"No," I replied, "it's automatic."
 

I looked out into my garden to see a load of small black birds that were all speaking Russian.

I think it was a flock of Stalin's.

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What's a specimen?
An Italian astronaut.

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The Bank of England has introduced plastic banknotes that can survive a spin in a washing machine.

Surely that will just encourage money laundering?

I was practising on my swing at the driving range today when the manager came out shouting "Take your child's playground and sod off!"

22 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

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One Ball ache is pretty much like another!   😎

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20240829_165458.jpg.522c5c7cdb5799135ca36164bd68bdab.jpgLlaeggub WI are off to Somalia for the winter, apparently you're less likely to die there than freezing ur tits off in the UK and they might even get laid.

so what is error code 200................

 

 

.

It means you've lost the right to post attachments for 30 days. 

3 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

It means you've lost the right to post attachments for 30 days. 

Can we write petition to allow attachments in this section? It's the section most worth reading here!

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Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch.

 

First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows."

 

Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows."

 

Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows."

 

Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen.

At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp.

 

First Bull: "I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend."

 

Second Bull: "I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I'm certainly not looking for an argument."

 

They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting.

 

First Bull: "Son, don't be foolish, let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."

 

Third Bull: "Hell, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull."

"I don't want to know why you can't. I want to know how you can!"

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Seamus was about to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer (Paddy) approached and asked if he could join him. Seamus said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

 

They were even after the first few holes. Paddy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for £5.00 a hole?"

 

Seamus said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed.

 

Paddy easily won the remaining 16 holes. They walked off number eighteen while Paddy counted his £80.00. He then confessed that he was the pro at a neighbouring course and “liked to pick on suckers.”

 

Seamus, shocked, revealed that he was the Parish Priest.

 

Paddy the pro was flustered and apologetic and offered to return the money.

 

Seamus replied, "You won fair and square I was foolish to bet with you. Keep your winnings."

 

An embarrassed Paddy asked, "Please, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

 

Seamus replied, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And, if you want to bring your Mother and Father along I'll marry them.

"I don't want to know why you can't. I want to know how you can!"

9 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

It means you've lost the right to post attachments for 30 days. 

 

Are you jesting Yellow Tail ...????

 

Without pointing out ---"why:--- or what post unset some woke  mod.............:omfg:

At least they tell you on FaceB...

4 minutes ago, oxo1947 said:

Are you jesting Yellow Tail ...????

 

Without pointing out ---"why:--- or what post unset some woke  mod.............:omfg:

At least they tell you on FaceB...

 

Well, this is the "Worst Jokes" thread :whistling:

 

Seriously, if you are getting an error repeatedly, post in the Forum Support section.

"I don't want to know why you can't. I want to know how you can!"

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