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A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight. “This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman. “Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, “Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in ‘unt?’” Only one word leaps to mind. “My goodness,” thinks the gentleman, “I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word.” The gentleman thinks for quite a while, and then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, “I think the word you're looking for is ‘aunt.’” “Of course,” says the Pope. “Do you have an eraser?”

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A pretty, young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

'Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the mask. 'Are my 'ticles black?'

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.'

He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, please check. Are my 'ticles black?'

Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his 'ticles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his mhood in one hand and his 'ticles in the other.

Then, she takes a close look and says, 'There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!'

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: 'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely... 'Are my test results back?"

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The Wife just rang to tell me "Three girls in the office have just received flowers from their Men, they're absolutely gorgeous"

I said... "That's probably why they received flowers!"