Did he take you to the tunnel ?

A lion and lioness are just sitting in a jungle.
A dog comes around and starts abusing them, 
the lioness asks the lion are you going to just listen or are you going to do anything about this disrespect. 
The lion ignores the lioness. The lioness couldn't take the abuse any more and starts chasing the dog.

The dog runs and runs and enters a tunnel which starts getting narrow. 
The lioness follows but get stuck in the middle. 
The dog exits from the other side and comes around and does the lioness a few times and leaves. 
Lioness after a long struggle gets herself free quietly walks back to the lion and just sits there.

The lion looks at her and asks. 
Did he take you to the tunnel ?

 

 

time for a corny one from Maisie and Pop

 

 

A man goes to the nursing home to visit his eighty-four-year-old father. 
While there he notices the nurse hand his father a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra pill. 
The man asks the nurse, 
“Why are you doing that? At his age, what will they do for him?”
“The hot chocolate,” the nurse explains, “will help him fall asleep faster.”
“All right,” the man replies, “and what about the Viagra?”

 

“That keeps him from rolling out of bed.”

A man is driving to work when he notices the flash of a traffic camera.

He figures that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knows that he wasn’t speeding.

Just to be sure, he circles the block and passes the exact same spot, driving even slower this time through. Again, the camera flashes.

He thinks it is hilarious, since he was obviously doing nothing wrong, so he drives even slower as he passes through the light for a third time.

The traffic camera takes his photo again. He does it a fourth and fifth time and is hysterical each time when the camera flash snaps his picture.

The final time he passes through the light he is going 20 miles under the speed limit.

Two weeks later, he gets five tickets each in the mail for operating a car without wearing a seat belt, no insurance and invalid MOT,
 

A woman calls her husband’s cell phone to tell him the car is giving her a problem. 
She thinks there is water in the carburettor.
“How the heck would you know that?” the husband asks.

 

“Because I just drove it into a canal.”

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A suggestion for Valentine Day...............

 

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3 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

where fossils are found carbonated rather than carbondated 

19 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

.

ahhhhh!!!!   

12 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

I finally figured out why Donald Trump is orange.

He lives in a Fanta Sea.

Three woman who were good friends would meet at the laundromat once a week to talk while washing their clothes. All of the woman were dating men named john, so one week they decided to make up nicknames to call their men so that they could tell them apart.

One of the women says, "let's name our men after soda pop." the other two agree, thinking it'd be a fun way to tell them apart.

The first one says, "I'm going to call mine coke, because he's dark and popular" The other two agree.

The second woman says, "Imma call mine Fanta, because he's a redhead and bubbly" 
Once again the others agree it's a fitting name.

The third woman finally says, "imma call my man Jack Daniels" 
The other two woman object, "you can't call him Jack Daniel's, that's a hard liquor!"

The third woman replies, "damn right he is."