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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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The Duchess of Devonshire was giving a charity dinner. Behind her stood Jeeves the butler.

As they all started to eat and silence fell , the Duchess let out a really loud fart.

' Stop that Jeeves' she exclaimed hoping to transfer the blame.

Certainly mam said the butler ' Which way did it go ? '.

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A Man finishes having his fun with a Prostitute, he then escorts her to the door and says to her

"It was a business doing pleasure with you"

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A woman walked up to me holding a bucket
“Excuse me, I’m collecting for the local swimming pool”

“Well, it’ll take you bl00dy ages to fill it with that”

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22 minutes ago, ravip said:

A Man finishes having his fun with a Prostitute, he then escorts her to the door and says to her

"It was a business doing pleasure with you"

To which she said "Please come again the next time I visit."

23 minutes ago, ravip said:

A woman walked up to me holding a bucket
“Excuse me, I’m collecting for the local swimming pool”

“Well, it’ll take you bl00dy ages to fill it with that”

Another cup of kindness?

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Made In... 

May be an image of bicycle, outdoors and text that says 'Made in China Made in Germany'

 

 

 

 

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Cold callers keep ringing me up, trying to sell me funeral plans.

That’s the last thing I need.

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Doing some family research, my Great Great Grandfather was on the Titanic.
Well, I say was, I suppose he still is.

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Not that long ago in a local Macdonald's an old man placed an order for one hamburger, chips, and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the chips, dividing them into two piles, and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip, and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously, they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his chips a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything..
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'
She answered, 'The teeth'. 

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