Same with me and...... old whatsername !!

2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Well, I'll tread carefully and step out onto the landing then, but let me know what the final ladder looks like.

I think there are some snakes up here chasing me back down the ladder but the landing light is not on!.  What do I do now, just dice with death as normal and keep shaking before I loose my grip, on reality, or my cup and take up Ludo!

PS; What are my chances of coming out on top?

1 hour ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

He doesn’t look a day over 24 !!

I suggest you stop looking in the mirror.

PS;  Oh S**t It's me thats looking in the mirror!

2 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

sometimes I might have to resort to an old one

Like the self portrait you just posted above! 

And I didn't know you were in the LGB scene!

Like the self portrait you just posted above! 
And I didn't know you were in the LGB scene!

I have standards I’ll have you know !!!

They are lower than a snakes belly but I do have them..... honest......please believe me !!

Rumour has it that Burt Bacharach was strolling in this neighbourhood when he saw this shop ...............................and the rest is history !!

Happy memories !!

This explains everything !!

Seems reasonable [emoji848]

Why do Kiwi's like to XXXX sheep on the edge of a cliff ?

 

Because they push back harder.

 Stop naming hospitals after dead people. 
Give us some hope. 
Like, where's the Keith Richards Memorial Hospital? 

Do you want to know the secret to making your spouse / partner go
Mmmmmmm m mm mm mm
mmmmmmmm all night?

Duct Tape and a rope!
 

A blonde takes her car to a mechanic, he says 
“Nothing to worry about, just s*it in the air filter”. 

She says 'Brilliant, so how many times a day do I have to do that?'
 

Some definitions from ISIHAC ...

· Exist – person who is prejudiced against their former lovers

· Hackney – IRA punishment before the invention of guns

· Hammersmith – the legend of Mjöllnir, weapon of the mighty Thor

· Laxity – a rural area

· Mailbag – scrotum

· Phobia – not real ale

· Psychotic – nervous twitch that makes you stab people

· Pumpkin – commit incest

· Rampart – part of a ram

· Rueful – a traffic jam in France

· Seamstress – the consequence of an over-generous lunch

· Transsubstantiation – providing evidence of one’s sex change

· Watershed – outdoor toilet

· Wednesday – ‘At what hour does the sun rise?’

An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?"

The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"

Some people thought Emperor Hadrian was mad when he built a wall between England and Scotland. Let’s be fair, it’s been nearly 2,000 years and not a single Mexican has sneaked through.

I always knew he was a wrong ‘un !!

His eyes are too close together !!

Yup !!

This would be me !!

Mine does exactly the same thing !! [emoji848]

What “ brake failure “ really looks like !!