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Thanks to our mutual dislike of newspaper puzzles,
my wife and I have enjoyed a long and happy marriage.
Thirty three years and not a crossword.

I have just arrived for the Positive Thinking Workshop.
The class is half empty.

In the spirit of Wimbledon fortnight I bought a punnet of strawberries and looked to the internet for the best way to serve them.
It suggested that I halve the strawberries, dust with icing sugar, and pile cream on top.

A word to the wise - pile cream tastes disgusting.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and, when asked by the bartender, tried to order drinks.

Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender: "What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."

Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."

Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"