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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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Two Irish lads were  staggered out of a zoo in the USA with their clothes in shreds and their faces covered in cuts and bruises. 
One turned to the other and said: 
‘That US Country lion dancing sure ain’t as restful as they made out.’ 
 

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 A girl rushed home to tell her mother: 
‘I’ve found a man just like Dad!’ 
The mother replied: 
‘What do you want from me? 
Sympathy?’ 
 

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 Did you hear about the man who looked up synonyms for ‘death’ in a thesaurus? - 
He found himself at words for a loss. 
 

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 How can a cemetery raise its burial charges and blame it on the cost of living? 
 

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 An eccentric bachelor passed away and left a nephew nothing but a collection of 433 clocks. 
The nephew is now busy winding up the estate. 
 

 
How do you stop a pig from smelling? 
- Put a clothes peg on its nose. 
 

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Chat-up Line:- • Do you know CPR, because you take my breath away? 
 

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1 hour ago, fangless said:

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What a bummer!

You shouldn't joke about his name. He won't take it sitting down.

51 minutes ago, fangless said:

And there was me thinking that all the crumby bread jokes about pigeons had all gone stale by now and were now toast!

You're slicing that a bit thin. In fact, you could be accused of loafing about.

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What's the capital of Zimbabwe?

Z

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48 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

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kids at play, with their interpretation of 'Hope for the Future in a Bubble' while mum is still in her Orgone Accumulator...

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May be an image of 1 person and text that says "Theory of relativity Do not keep roasted peanuts in transparent jar, they disappear fast. But if you keep roasted cashews in transparent jar next to peanut jar, peanuts last longer.. However if you add third element..A liquor bottle nearby.. disappear in no time"

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May be an image of text that says "This is one of the realist things I've read... SIX NINE Just because you are right, does not mean, I am wrong. You just haven't seen life from my side."

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