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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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3 hours ago, fangless said:

Chat-up Line:-  • Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room? 
 

 

I always liked: Hey, you wanna make $2 real quick? 

 

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3 hours ago, ballpoint said:

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Yes please as it' should be insightful to see the gyneclogist's car photo but can you give the proctologist picture the bums rush please.

 

 

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How careers end: 
 Electricians are delighted 
Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented 
Alpine climbers and Jockeys are dismounted 
Artists’ models are deposed 
Cooks are deranged 
Office clerks are defiled 
Mediums are dispirited 
 Programmers are decoded  
 Accountants are discredited 
Holy people are disgraced 
Perfume makers dissent 
 Butterfly collectors are debugged 
Students are degraded 
Bodybuilders are rebuffed 
Underwear models are debriefed 
Painters are discoloured 
Gamblers are discarded 
Mathematicians are discounted 
Tree surgeons disembark 
 


 All through veterinary school, an aspiring vet made ends meet by working nights as a taxidermist. When he finally graduated, he decided to combine the two vocations in the hope not only of providing a more comprehensive service to his customers but also of doubling his income.

So he opened his own offices with a sign on the door saying:

‘Dr Brunskill: Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy - Either Way You Get Your Dog Back!’ 

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 A woman applying for a job in a lemon grove seemed over-qualified.

The foreman said to her: ‘Have you any actual experience in picking lemons?’ 
 ‘As a matter of fact, I have,’ she answered.

‘I’ve been divorced three times.’ 
 

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Why did the man clean shoes for a living? - Because he really took a shine to it. 

56 minutes ago, fangless said:

Yes please as it' should be insightful to see the gyneclogist's car photo but can you give the proctologist picture the bums rush please.

 

 

Here it is. 

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What, you were expecting it would be a different colour?

4 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Here it is. 

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What, you were expecting it would be a different colour?

No I was expecting a pram!

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9 hours ago, fangless said:

How careers end: 
 Electricians are delighted 
Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented 
Alpine climbers and Jockeys are dismounted 
Artists’ models are deposed 
Cooks are deranged 
Office clerks are defiled 
Mediums are dispirited 
 Programmers are decoded  
 Accountants are discredited 
Holy people are disgraced 
Perfume makers dissent 
 Butterfly collectors are debugged 
Students are degraded 
Bodybuilders are rebuffed 
Underwear models are debriefed 
Painters are discoloured 
Gamblers are discarded 
Mathematicians are discounted 
Tree surgeons disembark 
 

Engineers - Disassembled

Rock Groups - Disbanded

Kwikfit Fitters - Retired

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