9 hours ago, tomazbodner said:

Ah! This is for fangless!

No thanks, it sucks!

5 hours ago, Zyxel said:

A bit fishy but we get the point!

Two women sitting in the doctor’s waiting room began discussing babies. 
 ‘I want a baby more than anything else in the world,’ said one. ‘But I guess it’s impossible.’ 
 ‘I used to think that,’ said the other. ‘But then everything changed. That’s why I am here. I’m going to have a baby in three months.’ 
 ‘You must tell me what you did.’ 
 ‘I went to a faith healer.’ 
 ‘But I’ve tried that. My husband and I went to one for nearly a year and it didn’t help a bit.’ 
 The other woman smiled and whispered: ‘Try going alone, next time.’ 
 

A banker fell overboard while taking a cruise on a friend’s yacht. The friend grabbed a lifebelt, held it up, and, not knowing if the banker could swim, shouted: ‘Can you float alone?’ 
‘Of course I can!’ yelled the banker.

‘But this is a heck of a time to talk business!’ 
 

 A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the 
 ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far behind. The ensign’s efficiency was remarkable. In fact, word was going around that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign basked in the glory and was not at all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. 
 He was, however, rather surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more alarmed to read: ‘My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules

 

- Make Sure The Captain Is Aboard Before Getting Under Way.’ 
 

Thanks to the miracle of fertility treatment, a woman was able to have a baby at 70. When she was discharged from hospital, her relatives came to visit. 
 ‘Can we see the baby?’ they asked. 
 ‘Not yet,’ said the 70-year-old mother. 
 Fifteen minutes later, they asked again. ‘Can we see the baby?’ 
 ‘Not yet,’ said the mother. 
 Another quarter of an hour later, they asked again: ‘Can we see the baby?’ 
 ‘Not yet,’ answered the mother. 
 The relatives were growing impatient. ‘Well, when can we see the baby?’ 
 ‘When it cries.’ 
 ‘Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?’ 
 ‘Because I forgot where I put it.’ 
 

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?

A pachydermatologist. 
 

The Invisible Man married an invisible woman.

The kids were nothing to look at. 
 

Chat-up Line:-  • I seem to have lost my way. Would you mind taking me home with you?