Fell For It

[555DaftFarang555]

Evening All,

 

First time poster but a regular in Thailand over the years.

 

So the short version of it, September 2017 and a regular visit to a bar in Pattaya on one of my 3 week holidays where I get chatting to a 'bar-girl.' A number of Chang's, numerous lady drinks and copious amounts of games of Connect 4 later it's back to the hotel to be 'serviced' by the lady. This continued with the same lady for the duration of my stay.

 

Fast-forward 17 months, 350,000 baht lighter and engaged to this lady, I have finally snapped-out of this daze I have been in thanks to some honest words from close friends.

 

I now need to end this debacle of a relationship ideally without hurting the lady's feelings which I know is probably impossible.

 

I am currently in the UK and the lady is in her home town of Phetchabun and has been for the last 12 months thanks to my monthly outgoings to her.

 

Any ideas on how I can break this off without causing WW3?

 

Thanks in advance and yes I know I am an idiot!

[samsensam]

 

why would you care how she feels?

 

troll?

[richard_smith237]

Tell her it's over... be polite.

 

Don't respond to any further contact.

 

It’s not that hard, but impossible to do without hurting her feelings. She’s already done very well out of you. 

[NCC1701A]

wait till I get some pop corn. OK. Go!

[NCC1701A]

17 minutes ago, 555DaftFarang555 said:

Fast-forward 17 months, 350,000 baht lighter and engaged to this lady,

350,000 / 17 is 20,588 per month. tell her the wedding is off and if you really think she is a good girl send her two more months worth of money so she can look for a job. 

 

did you buy her out of the bar?

[555DaftFarang555]

12 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

350,000 / 17 is 20,588 per month. tell her the wedding is off and if you really think she is a good girl send her two more months worth of money so she can look for a job. 

 

did you buy her out of the bar?

She left the bar of her own accord to move back to Phetchabun. 

[Gracas]

Just stop the monthly payments, it will be over.

[Rc2702]

World war is going to erupt but only because she no longer has funds for her husband in petchabun. Move on with your head held high.  You saved many buffalo. Maybe just send her 50k to smooth it over

[kannot]

3 hours ago, 555DaftFarang555 said:

Evening All,

 

First time poster but a regular in Thailand over the years.

 

So the short version of it, September 2017 and a regular visit to a bar in Pattaya on one of my 3 week holidays where I get chatting to a 'bar-girl.' A number of Chang's, numerous lady drinks and copious amounts of games of Connect 4 later it's back to the hotel to be 'serviced' by the lady. This continued with the same lady for the duration of my stay.

 

Fast-forward 17 months, 350,000 baht lighter and engaged to this lady, I have finally snapped-out of this daze I have been in thanks to some honest words from close friends.

 

I now need to end this debacle of a relationship ideally without hurting the lady's feelings which I know is probably impossible.

 

I am currently in the UK and the lady is in her home town of Phetchabun and has been for the last 12 months thanks to my monthly outgoings to her.

 

Any ideas on how I can break this off without causing WW3?

 

Thanks in advance and yes I know I am an idiot!

turn off the tap, then your  phone and tell the other 10  guys forking out to her the same

[kannot]

3 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

Tell her it's over... be polite.

 

Don't respond to any further contact.

 

It’s not that hard, but impossible to do without hurting her feelings. She’s already done very well out of you. 

why even bother  telling her anything at  all

[kannot]

3 hours ago, 555DaftFarang555 said:

without hurting the lady's feelings which I know is probably impossible.

gawd u really  must have "sucker" stamped on your forehead

[Gracas]

After it is all over with this girl find another girl. Just to make life interesting find another girl that lives in Phetchabun.

Lets us know how that turns out.

[flyingtlger]

Radio silence, stop payment and don't go back to Pattaya.....

 

[yogi100]

You've not been the first nor will you be the last. Occasionally one of my old pals who may have been a regular visitor to The LOS admits albeit rather shamefacedly having done what you've just admitted to doing.

 

Another one of my chums who is in his mid fifties and has been having holidays in Pattaya for at least 10 years openly tells us to our astonishment that he has been sending thousands of pounds to his new found lady friend to pay off her car loans and repairs to her house up in the sticks. She tells him she lives in Pattaya with her cousin. A male cousin. Our pal is not exactly what you'd call well off either!

 

He's not the type of bloke who would appreciate being told that he is being taken for a ride so we've just bought some popcorn and are watching to see how it all transpires.

 

But thanks 555DF for being open enough to tell us your little story. It's often the blokes who you'd think would never fall for it that often do.

[AlexRich]

Tell her your bankrupt. 

[Kenny202]

Cut it off now mate...at the neck. Some of these girls are like bad drugs u just cant quite kick. In all likely hood she has a guy in the village. Ive lived here for 5 years and  lived in villages nearly every hooker that went back home that had a farang had a thai bf too. Any money you have sent will have been p$$ed up the wall on gambling and booze. Im sure youve seen many warnings signs that uve passed off as cultural differences or ur over suspicious imagination. Ive went through it myself. Horror story. Dont appologise, dont pay her off. Send her a goodbye note and block everything. Its harder that giving up the fags but do it now. There is no future with a bar girl. She has no respect for you or your hard earned because its too easy for her to go and find more

[BobbyL]

These posts ????

 

So you're in the UK and asking for advice on how to break up with a bar girl in Petchabun? 

 

Wow. 

[Vacuum]

11 hours ago, 555DaftFarang555 said:

Any ideas on how I can break this off without causing WW3?

Stop sending money, she'll get the hint.

[Kwasaki]

13 hours ago, 555DaftFarang555 said:

Phetchabun

Nice and cool there PM the address.

[Hanaguma]

Tell her you are going broke and can't send cash for a few months, but that you still want to continue the relationship. If SHE wants to continue, then you need to worry about her feelings. If as all suspect, she drops you like a stone, then you don't have to play bad guy.  Let her do the hard work.

[Mavideol]

 

 

run forrest!  run! .... just ignore her, the other guys will keep taking care of her, nothing to worry about

Edited February 14, 2019 by Mavideol

[OneMoreFarang]

14 hours ago, 555DaftFarang555 said:

Evening All,

 

First time poster but a regular in Thailand over the years.

 

So the short version of it, September 2017 and a regular visit to a bar in Pattaya on one of my 3 week holidays where I get chatting to a 'bar-girl.' A number of Chang's, numerous lady drinks and copious amounts of games of Connect 4 later it's back to the hotel to be 'serviced' by the lady. This continued with the same lady for the duration of my stay.

 

Fast-forward 17 months, 350,000 baht lighter and engaged to this lady, I have finally snapped-out of this daze I have been in thanks to some honest words from close friends.

 

I now need to end this debacle of a relationship ideally without hurting the lady's feelings which I know is probably impossible.

 

I am currently in the UK and the lady is in her home town of Phetchabun and has been for the last 12 months thanks to my monthly outgoings to her.

 

Any ideas on how I can break this off without causing WW3?

 

Thanks in advance and yes I know I am an idiot!

Why do you want to break up with her?

Do you not love her anymore?

Does she not love you anymore?

Do you think her love was/is too expensive?

Do you think you are not the only one who loves her?

Is she really in Phetchabun and is she there single waiting for you and your love?

 

Maybe she is just waiting for you and build a beautiful house to live with you and be happy ever after.

[balo]

15 hours ago, 555DaftFarang555 said:

I am currently in the UK and the lady is in her home town of Phetchabun and has been for the last 12 months thanks to my monthly outgoings to her.

If she is pretty , she already received donations from several foreigners , so don't worry , just never contact her again .

If she knows your Facebook address I would delete the account. 

 

Edited February 14, 2019 by balo

[CharlieH]

If that was her activity in Pattaya how do you know she's not carryng on locally ? but thats aside really, if you dont want to continue for whatever reason, just say so, give immigration rules/changes as a reason, that'll work. ????

[OneMoreFarang]

2 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

give immigration rules as a reason, that'll work

Until they meet in Pattaya (or wherever) because he had no problem with immigration and she was not really up country ????

 

[NCC1701A]

16 hours ago, 555DaftFarang555 said:

Any ideas on how I can break this off without causing WW3?

maybe you can fake your own death. your friends can say they got your phone at the hospital after a terrible accident and your last dying wish was for them to text you the bad news. make sure they include a copy of the death certificate and photos a funeral.   

Edited February 14, 2019 by NCC1701A

[rumak]

13 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

World war is going to erupt but only because she no longer has funds for her husband in petchabun. Move on with your head held high.  You saved many buffalo. Maybe just send her 50k to smooth it over

are you kidding ?   send her more money ?   (scuse me while i shake my head in disbelief)  .

How about.......ask her for 50 k  back so you can feel a little better about being so dumb.  She will be on the next bus back to where you met her within days.....if she isn't already there.

OR... do the thai way.  Tell her your sister is very sick and all your money is taking care of her.  Can she help?

[Lacessit]

As AlexRich said, just tell her you have no money left. Ask her if she will support you in Thailand. If, as I predict, she says no, you'll know exactly where you stand.

Or, if you think it's true love, hire a private detective in Thailand. You'll then know where you stand as well.

There are probably bars in Petchabun.

[CharlieH]

Just now, Lacessit said:

As AlexRich said, just tell her you have no money left. Ask her if she will support you in Thailand. If, as I predict, she says no, you'll know exactly where you stand.

Or, if you think it's true love, hire a private detective in Thailand. You'll then know where you stand as well.

There are probably bars in Petchabun.

Yeah, it my local !!

[Kenny202]

Don't feel too bad mate. Like others have said I know quite a few long termers here still get sucked in. And still try to tell you the "this one is different" stories. Guys who only a few months before would have told YOU to go and get your head read and go and give yourself an uppercut if you told them the same thing. I used to think maybe they use some form of black magic or something, but I think the long distance thing magnifies your feelings. When you are with her probably having he best time of your life and have made commitments to her. You go back home and reality kicks in. There is no honour or truth here and she will be looking at your relationship with her as get everything you can while you can. A mate of mine summed it up perfectly once for me. He's been coming here for 30 years. Supporting a bird in Pattaya. Older girl too and has a few psycho issues. He told me he couldn't break it off with her because he was so worried she would frk someone else. I mean a bargirl living in Pattaya of course she was frking EVERYONE. Its like trying to hold on to the impossible. Even if you moved here and tried living with her, doing the right thing it wouldn't work out. I don't know of any bargirl relationship, marriage etc that have had happy endings. If you like Thai girls and really want to find a good one...maybe come and live here....is sort out where you want to live and then find a girl. (Not Pattaya or Phuket). I am up country in a big city and they will be queued up for you. Pick of the litter and most normal decent girls. Money is always an issue here, Thais are obsessed with it. But the non bar girls are controllable at least. If you are living in Australia do not support one here as a holiday GF. Just ridiculous. Like time share where you only get it 2 weeks of the year but in a Thai girls case you will be paying 100% upkeep and expenses, as most likely will many others. Send her a sorry goodbye message and run. She will be ok