Are you married to a Thai woman – Any Snippets of Advice .

[owl sees all]

33 minutes ago, billd766 said:

Sometimes she is a bit slack at cleaning the house but gets on with it if I prod her a few times. She always cooks my evening meal and I do my own breakfast and lunch.

 Well, this could be the answer to my prob's; a cattle prod. Great stuff!!

 

Handy, not just for self defence, when she comes at me with the machete, but useful to give her the occasional poke when she is too engaged with the mobile and not getting on with making my cup of rosy.

 

Also, I'll keep it handy by the bedside, in case i fancy a shag and she is cocking deff-un. Other uses too I reckon.

 

Edited June 2, 2019 by owl sees all
took out branding iron

[billd766]

3 hours ago, owl sees all said:

 Well, this could be the answer to my prob's; a cattle prod. Great stuff!!

 

Handy, not just for self defence, when she comes at me with the machete, but useful to give her the occasional poke when she is too engaged with the mobile and not getting on with making my cup of rosy.

 

Also, I'll keep it handy by the bedside, in case i fancy a shag and she is cocking deff-un. Other uses too I reckon.

 

I usually prod her memory. It is easier and causes no pain on either side.

[billd766]

4 hours ago, billd766 said:

I was 49 when I met my wife and I was 75 last week. She was a child bride of 28. Several of my friends are older than me yet are still married to their Thai wives.

 

Life is a lottery sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.

 

I won.

I did NOT however win anything in yesterdays lottery draw.

 

On a good note I still have my wife, if she can struggle through the heavy rain from her shop out the front of the house.

[totally thaied up]

I have been married three years. Before this I knew her for a year and I liked what I saw. It has taken me four years for me to understand her. It has taken four years for her to understand me. Time is the biggest thing you need in a relationship. It has taken me all this time to understand her identity and the way she works. If possible, I love her more now than when I met her. 

 

I spent the first year heavily involved with her family. I took a great deal of notice of her father and he is a honorable man. Her mother is the same but is full blood Chinese. The mother was bought up in the days were you got told whom she was going to marry and her marriage was arranged. Times have changed.

 

For a marriage to work, you need plenty of time. My father in law told me when he married his wife, he did not know what he was in for. Thirty four years later, he is still with his wife. Told me before I married not to expect much as he said it was better to be surprised in the future as if the marriage was going to work, things would only get better.

 

For me, it is about long term compatibility, not just a short term roll in the sack. My wife told me a long time ago, if it was not going to work, she would have ditched me by now. After all it works both ways happiness, just not for the farang.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎5‎/‎31‎/‎2019 at 7:25 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

I have a Thai girlfriend for many years and we are happy together most of the time. But I never married her.

She wants that I marry her but as far as I see there is no upside to that legal procedure.

Don't marry! And be happy.

And if you are not happy anymore she has no legal right to demand lots of money from you.

There are lots of other possible problems when you are married. Avoid it!

Have you considered a village wedding? The marriage that one has when one doesn't want to be legally married.

It might make her happier, and still keep your finances for yourself.

[thaibeachlovers]

20 hours ago, totally thaied up said:

I have been married three years. Before this I knew her for a year and I liked what I saw. It has taken me four years for me to understand her. It has taken four years for her to understand me. Time is the biggest thing you need in a relationship. It has taken me all this time to understand her identity and the way she works. If possible, I love her more now than when I met her. 

 

I spent the first year heavily involved with her family. I took a great deal of notice of her father and he is a honorable man. Her mother is the same but is full blood Chinese. The mother was bought up in the days were you got told whom she was going to marry and her marriage was arranged. Times have changed.

 

For a marriage to work, you need plenty of time. My father in law told me when he married his wife, he did not know what he was in for. Thirty four years later, he is still with his wife. Told me before I married not to expect much as he said it was better to be surprised in the future as if the marriage was going to work, things would only get better.

 

For me, it is about long term compatibility, not just a short term roll in the sack. My wife told me a long time ago, if it was not going to work, she would have ditched me by now. After all it works both ways happiness, just not for the farang.

Problem with a lot of marriages is that the rolls in the sack become less and less frequent, and in the end never. Don't know about you, but I never wanted to get married only to be celibate.

[totally thaied up]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Problem with a lot of marriages is that the rolls in the sack become less and less frequent, and in the end never. Don't know about you, but I never wanted to get married only to be celibate.

The older you get, the less of importance it is. To me, like this afternoon, I watched my wife and my mother engage in a conversation about death. My Grandmother died a very slow death. My wife spoke about the Buddhist principles of death and of the funerals in depth. To watch the connection my elderly mother and my wife had, was to me priceless. I still get plenty of sex but realistically, I prefer a good meal, close conversation with her and time with my family. And yes, you can get all of this from a Thai if you choose carefully. Sex is not that important. Like I said, if you are compatible it all comes together.

[OneMoreFarang]

57 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Have you considered a village wedding? The marriage that one has when one doesn't want to be legally married.

It might make her happier, and still keep your finances for yourself.

 

You make the big mistake of thinking a village wedding is not official.

Surprise, surprise, it is official!

I heard of at least two cases in which the bride produced pictures of their village wedding.

And it seems that was enough for the Thai authorities to decide she was officially married and is entitled to get a "proper" divorce.

Obviously I don't know if that is always the case but at least it is sometimes the case and that is reason enough to avoid it.

[BritManToo]

10 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

You make the big mistake of thinking a village wedding is not official.

Jerry Hall tried to get loads of money from Mick Jagger off the back of their 'village ceremony' in Bali.

Edited June 3, 2019 by BritManToo

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, totally thaied up said:

The older you get, the less of importance it is.

I'm sorry you feel like that. I still want sex as much as when I was 30. Unfortunately I get none at all, because I live back home and 20 to 40 year olds are not interested in old men, and I'm not going to marry someone that looks like my granny just to get "elder sex".

I think sexual desire is more to do with one's personality than with one's age.

[Muzarella]

If you like sex and beautiful women, ask a typical Thai woman over 40 is she will enjoy sex after 50. If she says yes, she is lying... especially if you are more than 10 years older than her.

But...if you got lucky, and that ``typical´´ is a professional or an independent well-traveled woman in contact with Western culture, is another history.

Some mature Thai women are exceptionally beautiful and fit, and a lot more caring, compared with Western women at the same age. 

 

[geoffbezoz]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Jerry Hall tried to get loads of money from Mick Jagger off the back of their 'village ceremony' in Bali.

Well that resulted in the wedding being declared invalid

[marcusarelus]

8 minutes ago, Muzarella said:

If you like sex and beautiful women, ask a typical Thai woman over 40 is she will enjoy sex after 50. If she says yes, she is lying... especially if you are more than 10 years older than her.

But...if you got lucky, and that ``typical´´ is a professional or an independent well-traveled woman in contact with Western culture, is another history.

Some mature Thai women are exceptionally beautiful and fit, and a lot more caring, compared with Western women at the same age. 

You really should learn how to speak Thai and rent a room in a brothel for a while.  

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I'm sorry you feel like that. I still want sex as much as when I was 30. Unfortunately I get none at all, because I live back home and 20 to 40 year olds are not interested in old men, and I'm not going to marry someone that looks like my granny just to get "elder sex".

I think sexual desire is more to do with one's personality than with one's age.

I have to agree with you and it gets more complicated as the items are ticked off the bucket list. 

[overherebc]

Here's a tip for the unknowing.

If a few couples are out for a meal and some dick-head brings up politics, starting as follows,

Starts with someone saying,

I reckon most politicians are only in it for themselves.

Most ex-pats will be thinking May, Trump or Corbyn.

Most Thai women will be thinking, why are you insulting our politicians?

Think about it. ????????

And think why?

[marcusarelus]

15 minutes ago, overherebc said:

Here's a tip for the unknowing.

If a few couples are out for a meal and some dick-head brings up politics, starting as follows,

Starts with someone saying,

I reckon most politicians are only in it for themselves.

Most ex-pats will be thinking May, Trump or Corbyn.

Most Thai women will be thinking, why are you insulting our politicians?

Think about it. ????????

And think why?

In 20 years I've never heard that question asked.  You must not live in Thailand.  I think you are imagining a scenario that never happens.  It is impossible to discuss politics without discussing what can never be discussed.  You obviously have a point but the scenario will never happen among adults.  Backpakers and TEFL teachers excepted.  

[overherebc]

12 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

In 20 years I've never heard that question asked.  You must not live in Thailand.  I think you are imagining a scenario that never happens.  It is impossible to discuss politics without discussing what can never be discussed.  You obviously have a point but the scenario will never happen among adults.  Backpakers and TEFL teachers excepted.  

Believe me it happens.

In general if on a night out someone starts to talk politics I usually make comments on the lines of what do you think about the new ford, toyota or how is your food or wine. Same as I do if religion rears its ugly head.

The general point is that most Thais have absolutely no idea what happens outside Thailand and simply consider any 'perceived' insult as being entirely related to Thailand.

Edited June 3, 2019 by overherebc

[marcusarelus]

5 minutes ago, overherebc said:

Believe me it happens.

In general if on a night out someone starts to talk politics I usually make comments on the lines of what do you think about the new ford, toyota or how is your food or wine. Same as I do if religion rears its ugly head.

The general point is that most Thais have absolutely no idea what happens outside Thailand and simply consider any 'percieved' insult as being entirely related to Thailand.

I've lived here for 20 years and beyond TEFL teachers or backpackers I've never seen it.  I've never seen a large group of couples where both Thai partners could speak English well enough to discuss politics.  Of course I mostly associate with business people and engineers.  Thailand has almost no political education in college so it is not surprising that the talk would center around work, weather and food.  

Edited June 3, 2019 by marcusarelus

[overherebc]

42 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

I've lived here for 20 years and beyond TEFL teachers or backpackers I've never seen it.  I've never seen a large group of couples where both Thai partners could speak English well enough to discuss politics.  Of course I mostly associate with business people and engineers.  Thailand has almost no political education in college so it is not surprising that the talk would center around work, weather and food.  

I don't 'belong' to a large group. 3 or 4 guys usually go out with our wives and never have any problems talking together.

It's the times like someones birthday or whatever when a few others and wives/girlfriends etc are invited. Those are the times the taboo subjects come up.

Like you I've been here a long time, since early 90's.

My wife didn't spend her formative years in Thailand like most of her family and only returned when her father died and the company was restructured. Unlike most I won't claim she speaks 'perfect' english but as her education was completed outside Thailand it's pretty good and perfectly understandable.

So to clarify, When I say expsts who try to talk about politics in mixed company here should be aware of the negative reaction they just might get from their girlfriends/wives, teflers and back-packers as you say.

[marcusarelus]

31 minutes ago, overherebc said:

I don't 'belong' to a large group. 3 or 4 guys usually go out with our wives and never have any problems talking together.

It's the times like someones birthday or whatever when a few others and wives/girlfriends etc are invited. Those are the times the taboo subjects come up.

Like you I've been here a long time, since early 90's.

My wife didn't spend her formative years in Thailand like most of her family and only returned when her father died and the company was restructured. Unlike most I won't claim she speaks 'perfect' english but as her education was completed outside Thailand it's pretty good and perfectly understandable.

So to clarify, When I say expsts who try to talk about politics in mixed company here should be aware of the negative reaction they just might get from their girlfriends/wives, teflers and back-packers as you say.

Dangerous to talk politics or history here.  Thai people have little education in either subject and rampant nationalism has been ingrained in them like Christianity in the American bible belt.  As a young college student traveling in the South of the USA I was warned to keep my hair cut and my mouth shut.  

Same in Thailand when discussing certain subjects and don't point with your feet.  

Edited June 3, 2019 by marcusarelus

[overherebc]

44 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Dangerous to talk politics or history here.  Thai people have little education in either subject and rampant nationalism has been ingrained in them like Christianity in the American bible belt.  As a young college student traveling in the South of the USA I was warned to keep my hair cut and my mouth shut.  

Same in Thailand when discussing certain subjects and don't point with your feet.  

I've got a beard and long hair.

???????????? but I'm a nice guy.

Yep, politics and history is a big NO NO.

I love watching the History channel on UK tv and it's so different from the history I was fed in school in UK.

You know the sort of thing,  in xxxx the xxxxxs 'left' such and such a country and the 'British' assumed control.

Now you get the truth, the British killed/massacred all the xxxxxs leaving the streets running with blood and took over.

Edited June 3, 2019 by overherebc

[ben2talk]

2 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

I've lived here for 20 years and beyond TEFL teachers or backpackers I've never seen it. I've never seen a large group of couples where both Thai partners could speak English well enough to discuss politics. Of course I mostly associate with business people and engineers. Thailand has almost no political education in college so it is not surprising that the talk would center around work, weather and food.

My view is that they're taught flexibility in schools. Unreasonable behaviour by authorities is to be accepted. Thus the people who cried out when the Junta rolled in have greatly adapted and accepted the situation - many even to the extent where they could even vote for it...

 

So there's more to not discussing politics than education. Nobody really wants to know, it's a bit too scary to consider. In the past they had a view that the big man at the top was an entirely godlike king, now they have a new one and they must adjust to have the same view - actually understanding the reality is not a favourable option and certainly not an interesting topic for conversation.

[ncc1701d]

A lot of posts have talked about expectations. I believe problems occur when expectations aren’t met.

 

to answer the op’s question, you must be mature enough to know what your expectations are of yourself and your potential partners’. Even if those expectations themselves are shallow. Your partner needs to know the same for themselves and those expectations need to be communicated. 

 

Expectations will vary depending on what aspect of a relationship and life you are talking about. All need to be discussed and changed as time goes on if necessary. 

[marcusarelus]

On 6/3/2019 at 9:27 PM, ben2talk said:

My view is that they're taught flexibility in schools. Unreasonable behaviour by authorities is to be accepted. Thus the people who cried out when the Junta rolled in have greatly adapted and accepted the situation - many even to the extent where they could even vote for it...

 

So there's more to not discussing politics than education. Nobody really wants to know, it's a bit too scary to consider. In the past they had a view that the big man at the top was an entirely godlike king, now they have a new one and they must adjust to have the same view - actually understanding the reality is not a favourable option and certainly not an interesting topic for conversation.

Go back and read your history starting with 1932. 

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎6‎/‎5‎/‎2019 at 5:02 PM, ncc1701d said:

A lot of posts have talked about expectations. I believe problems occur when expectations aren’t met.

 

to answer the op’s question, you must be mature enough to know what your expectations are of yourself and your potential partners’. Even if those expectations themselves are shallow. Your partner needs to know the same for themselves and those expectations need to be communicated. 

 

Expectations will vary depending on what aspect of a relationship and life you are talking about. All need to be discussed and changed as time goes on if necessary. 

I "expected" my wife to continue on the way she was for the year we lived together before we married. Had we not gone to live with her family that might have happened, but we did and nothing can change that now.

[Thongkorn]

Dont buy rent 

[Captain 776]

Get one within 5 yrs of YOUR age that has never worked at a bar

[marcusarelus]

Just now, Captain 776 said:

Get one within 5 yrs of YOUR age that has never worked at a bar

I should marry a 70 year old Thai woman!

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎6‎/‎11‎/‎2019 at 10:44 PM, Captain 776 said:

Get one within 5 yrs of YOUR age that has never worked at a bar

LOL. The whole point of coming to Thailand was to get one that WASN'T within 5 years of my age. I had, and still have, zero desire to wake up next to someone anywhere near as old as myself.

If I wanted that, I could have married a divorcee or widow back home.

[totally thaied up]

50 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

The whole point of coming to Thailand was to get one that WASN'T within 5 years of my age

The whole point is to find someone that is compatible with you. I could have certainly married a few younger girls that had great sex with me but they were not on the least compatible with me.

 

Anyway, when I flew into Thailand on Monday night, my wife looked at the young airline staff and watched how the girls treated the farang men compared to the Thai men. The staff really lite up when a young handsome man walked up to them to ask them directions. When an old man farang walked up to them, there was a difference. They were not as jovial. When Thai guys spoke to them, unless they were businessmen, they just got shrugged off. The older staff were much friendlier to the older farangs.  Many of the very old farangs on my plane got met at the gates by women mostly in their twenties. In most cases, there would have been a 30-year gap in the relationship. It was interesting to watch. 

Edited June 13, 2019 by totally thaied up