Life is hard.

[Issannative]

Realy

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[Issannative]

Op I'll give you a rope and point you to a suitable tree

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[Handsome Gardener]

1 hour ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

I struggle with confidence, Right nit i could not even get a P4P my self esteem is too low.

 

So exactly how much help are you seeking from a forum known for its depressive nature ?

 

 

 

[Handsome Gardener]

49 minutes ago, BestB said:

Therapy is NOT a bad thing, it can and does help many people to understand themselves and why the feel certain things.

 

Saying therapy is bad just shows how little you know and understand, 

 

If guy is genuine, he has huge set of balls to come onto public forum and say what he said, despite what he thinks of himself or how his parents made him feel, saying out loud is worth something.

 

Some have taken cheap shots at him, some gave him tough  love advice, but in the end he needs to understand himself before he can make any changes in his life

 

Despite what some of you may thing, parent influence plays a massive role in child's life. If parents never encourage the kid, kid will have very low self esteem and most likely fail in everything he does, because no one ever believed in him, so he no longer believes in himself.

 

Its like the saying, shit attracts shit, but in no way does it mean he is one, just how he thinks of himself.

 

Anyhow, as i posted earlier, if he is genuine and wants help, i will be happy to hang out and help but if a troll, well then at least some have had a good laugh 

Go back in his posts - he's trotted all this out before. If someone refuses to take advice and continues to troll out the same garbage, its not a cry for help, its attention seeking !

[Sheryl]

Your alcoholism is 9/10ths the problem.

 

Tackle that and the rest will gradually fall into place.

 

Only you can make the decision to do so. It is not up to luck, fate or someone else, and Thailand most certainly is not an answer.

 

AA has meetings everywhere. Find the nearest one and go. Then keep going back.

[White Christmas13]

10 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

snowflake, porn is free on the internet now. 

 

i had to walk 20 miles to get mine.

Yeah on TVF you get bike porn, food porn

[White Christmas13]

10 hours ago, transam said:

No, sounds like a good draw and became a spoilt brat..

 

You could rent a condo with a balcony...

on the 25th floor would be ideal

[White Christmas13]

keep feeding the troll

[Mikisteel]

Have you tried yabba?

[Issannative]

Prison for op

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[BestB]

9 minutes ago, Sheryl said:

Your alcoholism is 9/10ths the problem.

 

Tackle that and the rest will gradually fall into place.

 

Only you can make the decision to do so. It is not up to luck, fate or someone else, and Thailand most certainly is not an answer.

 

AA has meetings everywhere. Find the nearest one and go. Then keep going back.

Totally agree on alcohol part . It can be a depressant and trigger paranoia as well. Not to mention fried brain .

 

by his nick , I am guessing he is in Pattaya , I know for a fact have AA here, have not gone myself but met a few guys and they seem to stick together 

[Golden Triangle]

I am not responding to the OP, I am responding to those that have posted their concerns or otherwise (I'm definitely in the otherwise faction) this 'Person' since becoming a member has only ever posted what I would term narcissistic threads, it is never his fault, the world is against him etc etc, I was under the impression that he was heading back home, which I thought was the US of A now turns out it's Oz.

 

I can't say what I really want to as I've already had an enforced holiday for saying what I was thinking about certain posts on here, just deleted a dodgy sentence in case I get a lifetime ban ???? 

 

[Issannative]

Haha he is a dick and we should just iggy then

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[Issannative]

Why mods don't ban him for his own good

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[SatoshiNakamoto]

9 hours ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

thats the problem of the world today, A down and out western male is the absolute bottom of the barrel.

 

Op,  are you living in Pattaya now ? i see from your nickname

[Mikisteel]

Just now, Issannative said:

Why mods don't ban him for his own good

Sent from my LDN-LX2 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
 

That's a good grasp of the English language for an issan native. You ever work in pattaya?

[Pattayabeerbacon]

5 hours ago, BestB said:

Totally agree on alcohol part . It can be a depressant and trigger paranoia as well. Not to mention fried brain .

 

by his nick , I am guessing he is in Pattaya , I know for a fact have AA here, have not gone myself but met a few guys and they seem to stick together 

I left Pattaya for now.

 

i noticed its mostly lower class thais who battle substance abuse and also alcoholism, The middle class with whom i am now associating might have one beer at night but lead too busy life's, they cannot afford to fall victim to the bottle unlike many of the isaan folk in Pattaya who prefer a lay back lifestyle which opens doors for self medication / Abuse/ heavy alcoholism.

[geronimo]

The fact that you recognise this means you are halfway to changing things. Quit the alcohol (nothing changes until you do), change your routine, and yes, it will be tough, but others (me included) have been to these dark places.

 

You had the balls to post on this forum, so you do want to do something about it.

 

Ignore the posters who put you down.

 

Don't hang around others who are negative, and think that today is the start of a new life.

[geronimo]

18 hours ago, soalbundy said:

It isn't supposed to be easy, I know some millionaires, all they have is bigger problems. I don't suppose anybody on this forum had it easy. The one thing life doesn't reward is cowardice, stop whinging and face your problems because nobody else can help you, you are the commander-in-chief of the physical 'me'.

Meister Eckhart, a German christian mystic born in 1260 once wrote, "Once you decide to carry your cross you will find it is the cross that carries you"

He's not whinging, he's asking for help ..... and he's facing his problems ....

Edited August 3, 2019 by geronimo

[geronimo]

7 hours ago, Handsome Gardener said:

So exactly how much help are you seeking from a forum known for its depressive nature ?

 

 

 

It's obvious to me that this guy is desperate, give him a break!!!

[geronimo]

I think you need a radical change in your life, and I would recommend learning about Buddhism, and if you like what you see, you can become a monk, at least for a while. This would take all of the pressure off you (you don't even have to worry about feeding yourself) and you will be around the right people.

 

Buddhism has saved many who had serious issues, think about it.

[geronimo]

19 hours ago, poohy said:

At least you are looking on the bright side of things!

He's looking for help ......

[faraday]

2 hours ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

I left Pattaya for now.

 

i noticed its mostly lower class thais who battle substance abuse and also alcoholism, The middle class with whom i am now associating might have one beer at night but lead too busy life's, they cannot afford to fall victim to the bottle unlike many of the isaan folk in Pattaya who prefer a lay back lifestyle which opens doors for self medication / Abuse/ heavy alcoholism.

Maybe the middle class have more money, so outwardly their addiction/dependence is not so noticeable.

 

Anyway, you can, if you really want to, stop drinking alcohol. You have to be 100% committed though.

 

Nam daeng, with soda, lime, & ice makes for a great drink.

 

Try a glass or two when you get the urge to drink alcohol.

 

Try starting a new thread in the "I drink too much" sub forum, perhaps. You'll get a lot of encouragement.

[BestB]

2 hours ago, Pattayabeerbacon said:

I left Pattaya for now.

 

i noticed its mostly lower class thais who battle substance abuse and also alcoholism, The middle class with whom i am now associating might have one beer at night but lead too busy life's, they cannot afford to fall victim to the bottle unlike many of the isaan folk in Pattaya who prefer a lay back lifestyle which opens doors for self medication / Abuse/ heavy alcoholism.

Maybe others will disagree and while I agree Pattaya is a party town, but moving because of what people around you do will not help you personally . And I will explain why.

 

No doubt middle class are better than low class but what makes you think middle class will accept you? 

 

This is not aimed at you personally but general attitude in Thailand .

 

Yes, if you were working or had a business you have greater chance of meeting and socialising with middle class but without your own status , I do not see it’s happening.

 

Also keep in mind , very common mistake many make assuming Pattaya people are one of s kind. They are not and most of them came from other places.

 

If you have decided to make a move , make sure not to fall into the sane patterns. Means you also have to change your lifestyle and attitude and the only person who can do it is you, not people around you, 

[zyphodb]

18 hours ago, SenorCJ said:

Join the military dude. That will give you some direction for a few years. It won’t be easy, but you need some serious change of direction.

I'm depressed, what do I do?

  I know, I'll go and take pointless orders and learn how to kill people. Why didn't I think of it before?

       

That'll sort me out.....

[soalbundy]

3 hours ago, geronimo said:

He's not whinging, he's asking for help ..... and he's facing his problems ....

No he isn't, he has recognised them but blames life in general for them. One can only help oneself. My brother in England is an alcoholic, he went 3 times to a rehab clinic, on his third time the doc told him we can't help you with this anymore you have to help yourself now, we won't see you again because you will die on you next relapse, that was what he needed, not sympathy but a kick up the backside, he has been clean now for three years.

[dotpoom]

On 8/2/2019 at 11:24 AM, worgeordie said:

Not another doom and gloom,feel sorry for me post,

we need cheering up,not more bad news.life is what

you make it.

regards Worgeordie

To the OP...please please completely ignore the above. ......You are at the moment "unwell" ..."sick" whatever....both physically, mentally and most lightly spiritually. The root of your problem is your alcoholism...which is a disease...you did not choose to be cursed with it. Like all sick people (I say that with the greatest respect) you need help. Go to an AA meeting...that is the first step towards your recovery.

  Remember always...you are a sick person trying to get well...not a bad person trying to become a good one.

  Believe it or not...there is a "life beyond your wildest dreams out there waiting for you to live it"...take it from me...I have been there.

PS...If you believe there is something / someone out there more powerful than yourself...try asking it / him /  she...for help.

[LawrenceN]

On 8/2/2019 at 12:24 PM, Pattayabeerbacon said:

 

its hopeless, I told my father i dont want to live in Australia because i was lonely and couldn't find a girlfriend, He just told me to keep labouring and stop going to thailand and hold a job.

 

what am i supposed to do? be a lonely shitkicker for the rest of my days?

im beginning to not give a shit if i live or die, I am already drinking myself to death slowly.

May I suggest "keep labouring and stop going to thailand and hold a job."?

[johnmcc6]

On 8/2/2019 at 11:53 AM, Matzzon said:

The situation you seem to find yourself in, actually sound very hard. it also sounds very serious. All these problems, and you seem to be aware of them. The first question will be, why in the world you have not been seeking professional help? There is nothing to be ashamed of with that. Many people need to talk to a professional about their problems to sort them out.
 

You say that you are only 33, and single due to that you cannot find a girlfriend or afford one. Looks to me that you have tried to move to Thailand before you sorted out your life. That´s not a possibility. Even if the money is there, that is not going to make you happy.

The two core problems in this problem seems to be a lack of self confidence as well as a major drinking problem. These two things work very well together, due to that they both speed up the process to reach rock bottom. Your self confidence is telling you to drink to be able to better relate to friends, girls and life. Your confidence is fooling you and leading you on a disaterous path in life. On the other hand, your drinking problem continues to lower your self confidence, due to that everytime the great feeling diappears the real life seems to be harder and harder to cope with.

Is there any underlying problems with economy too? I know some people have money, and get in problem with life anyway. Some try to do more than they can and get in problem and depression out of the inpossibility to achive their goals and dreams. Are you also having problems with your possibilities to stay regarding to anxiety over getting your visas?

I am not any kind of professional in any of these matters, just trying to use common sense. I can not help you with what professional can. what I can do, is to be someone you can talk too. If you feel better talking about this through private messages that´s ok by me. I am sure there must be some chances for a 33 year old guy, that just having a bad streak in life.

You need about 2000 baht an hour for professional help here in Thailand. Often more depending on problem and time of day you visit. Each session is roughly one hour. Happy I don't need it as I could not afford it anyway.

[marcusarelus]

15 hours ago, Isaanbiker said:

 

 

OP, please do not "join the club"! Never spend $ 160/hour to talk to somebody, because nobody else is listening to you. 

 

It's not as "normal" for some other nationalities. 

 

It's frightening to me that so many people do seek medical attention regarding a mental issue.

 

The first part is natural and a difficult one. See it from a positive side, you've got nothing to lose, right?

 

  Stop drinking alcohol, start doing some sport, and talk to other people who might have an answer to so many questions you might have. 

 

   Get in shape and do something educational. That could be anything, from reading good books, watching documentaries, teaching English or online jobs.

 

   Once you're sober and clean, you'll see that there's another part of life, something you gave up when you started drinking.

My dad passed when he's only 50. Diabetes and alcoholism are just too much.

 

 

If you're a heavy drinker, please see it as it is. One day, you'll have a fatty liver, then liver cirrhosis and later death.

 

Not an excellent way to go! Get well soon and I truly hope that you'll start to talk to some guys and you might have all help you needed.

 

   Best of luck!

I got a good psychiatrist 30 years ago who helped me stop drinking.  It is what a smart educated person would do.  A doctor or some old guy living in Issan?  Who do you trust?

Edited August 3, 2019 by marcusarelus