Do the Thais have a different relationship with silence / doing nothing than Westerners do?

[Hal65]

In the place I stay at, the owner and 3 family members sits around downstairs. 10% of the time they're chatting, 90% of the time they are justing lounging about. The younger ones are sometimes on their phone. There are 2 girls out front calling for massages, the rest of the time they also sit around.

 

For a western person this existence would be profoundly boring. I imagine most of us would spend that time watching TV, playing an instrument, browsing the internet etc.

 

I'm in Pattaya and I see a lot of this. There are phones/internet usage to be sure. But what gets me is all the people sitting around doing nothing at all.

 

For those of you with some handle on the Thai mindset, I wonder if they have a greater sense of peace with nothingness. Is it the case that they simply don't feel the need to keep themselves busy? Or is this more a sign of general poverty than inner tranquility?

[Airalee]

Thais have perfected the art of “chilling”.

[Briggsy]

I agree with the OP's observations.

 

After many years pondering the same questions as the OP, I believe it is primarily a love of idleness. It is important to understand the difference between idleness and laziness. The goal is to be idle i.e. doing nothing, that includes with your mind.

 

This does not apply to Thai Chinese or the highly-educated Thais.

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, Hal65 said:

But what gets me is all the people sitting around doing nothing at all.

They are meditating ????

[Kwasaki]

2 hours ago, Hal65 said:

I'm in Pattaya

Typically reminds me of a mate saying Oh yeah I've been to Thailand,

I said where did you go he said Pattaya. ???? ????

[NCC1701A]

7 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

Typically reminds me of a mate saying Oh yeah I've been to Thailand,

I said where did you go he said Pattaya. ???? ????

in all fairness i see the same thing all over Thailand.

[NCC1701A]

2 hours ago, Briggsy said:

This does not apply to Thai Chinese or the highly-educated Thais.

yes my half Thai half Chinese girlfriend is not like a Thai at all.

Her Chinese DNA makes her profoundly different.

[tifino]

If they do nothing, they cannot be blamed?

[Briggsy]

I would add to this discussion the concept of the word beua which is always translated as bored in English. Many English including myself fall into the trap of thinking the Thai is bored in the Western sense of the word, nothing to do, nothing interesting, nothing to challenge or entertain. 

 

However when the Thai uses beua, it is almost always when they are sick of something or peed off with something. It is much more focused on an activity or person, etc., and clearly negative.

 

I have never heard a Thai person express boredom in the Western nothing to do sense. I suspect many never and the remainder hardly ever feel such an emotion. When there is nothing to do for a Thai, it is great, just sleep.

[Briggsy]

6 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

yes my half Thai half Chinese girlfriend is not like a Thai at all.

Her Chinese DNA makes her profoundly different.

On a scale from 0 to 10, what is the level of sarcasm in that post? I cannot tell.

[NCC1701A]

1 minute ago, Briggsy said:

On a scale from 0 to 10, what is the level of sarcasm in that post? I cannot tell.

0

[Airalee]

3 hours ago, Briggsy said:

I would add to this discussion the concept of the word beua which is always translated as bored in English. Many English including myself fall into the trap of thinking the Thai is bored in the Western sense of the word, nothing to do, nothing interesting, nothing to challenge or entertain. 

 

However when the Thai uses beua, it is almost always when they are sick of something or peed off with something. It is much more focused on an activity or person, etc., and clearly negative.

 

I have never heard a Thai person express boredom in the Western nothing to do sense. I suspect many never and the remainder hardly ever feel such an emotion. When there is nothing to do for a Thai, it is great, just sleep.

Exactly.  

 

There is however a word that Thais use for when they are just sitting there staring off into space in a seemingly contemplative mood.  I don’t know how it’s spelled in Thai language but it sounds something like “meuu” (with an elongated sala eu sound)

[timendres]

Agree with the above posters. For most Thais, idle is nirvana. If not idle, then entertained, such as games on the phone, shopping, eating, drinking, watching TV. My ex slept 14 hours (!!!) a day. Watched TV. Ate. Played on her phone. Liked going out to party. Liked shopping. End of story. When I explained to her that I would hate a life like that, she was perplexed. I sometimes wonder if it is an evolutionary response to the heat, which would have punished activity before the age of air conditioning.

[OneMoreFarang]

On the other hand, how many of us would be able to handle hours of doing nothing?

And I include myself in this.

I.e. going to a coffee shop, having a nice espresso and some pastry is good for a minute or maybe 3 or 5. And then we look at the mobile phone or newspaper or whatever. I think few of us can handle "just nothing".

[1FinickyOne]

My family spent a lot of time gathering together... they are mostly chatting but can keep still too... they cook together, make snacks together, eat together - which is done in the common outdoor areas in our compound. If you want to be alone, you go inside. 

 

What I do see more generally, is that they are not imbued with the need to feel productive that we are brought up with in the west... and so, it seems to me, they are more comfortable spending time relaxing. 

 

The negative connotation to 'not being busy' in the West is strong. When my dad was late 80s he would be sleeping in front of the TV - when the phone would ring, I would hear him tell the caller - - "I have been very busy." Then he would get off the phone and go back to sleep. 

[hansnl]

12 hours ago, NCC1701A said:

yes my half Thai half Chinese girlfriend is not like a Thai at all.

Her Chinese DNA makes her profoundly different.

Better?

Or even more money loving?

[geronimo]

Buddhism teaches one to be at peace with oneself,

 

notable when visitors leave, they don't wave and say goodbye a hundred times, as they all know they will see each other the next time they meet.

 

You need to get out more ......

[soalbundy]

I have learnt here the art of doing nothing without being bored. Doing nothing is not laziness, it is what I would call wholesome, it is / almost, meditation without trying. When I do my morning walk around the lake I sit, when it starts to get light, on a small wooden platform stretching 2 or 3 meters into the lake and just sit there with no intentions, detached, calm and just observe without interest. You hear the first chirping of the birds, distant cock crows, the far away sounds of someone chopping wood on the other side of the lake. Once, on a very memorable day, I was staring into the lake which was very still, like a mirror, and I could see the reflections of clouds and birds flying across them, it was as if the clouds were giant boulders and birds were flying over them under the water. I can sit there for hours like that, it is in a word, refreshing.

[Beggar]

10 hours ago, timendres said:

Agree with the above posters. For most Thais, idle is nirvana. If not idle, then entertained, such as games on the phone, shopping, eating, drinking, watching TV. My ex slept 14 hours (!!!) a day. Watched TV. Ate. Played on her phone. Liked going out to party. Liked shopping. End of story. When I explained to her that I would hate a life like that, she was perplexed. I sometimes wonder if it is an evolutionary response to the heat, which would have punished activity before the age of air conditioning.

Sounds like a good life to me. I do pretty much the same as your ex. What else do you want to do? But I don't sleep that long. 

[gamesgplayemail]

I can smell a disaster when everybody will be smoking weed ! hahahaha ❤️

 

 

[Grusa]

If you spend your formative years having your brain systematically conditioned not to think, not to question, and not to innovate, there is little else to do in life but lounge and scrounge.

[soalbundy]

Just now, Grusa said:

If you spend your formative years having your brain systematically conditioned not to think, not to question, and not to innovate, there is little else to do in life but lounge and scrounge.

They are not taught not to think, they are taught to think in the right way (the way the elite want you to think)

[GalaxyMan]

1 hour ago, Beggar said:

Sounds like a good life to me. I do pretty much the same as your ex. What else do you want to do? But I don't sleep that long. 

Amen! My goal in life was to do nothing, to have no responsibility beyond feeding myself. Finally, I made it after working too hard, too long, and couldn't be happier for it. I am never bored. I am a reader and have ~250,000 digital books and a Kindle to keep me happy. If/when I feel the need, I do something, but I'm happiest doing <deleted>-all. I see sunrise every morning and am usually asleep before 9. Life is goooood! ????

[thasoss]

well i've read some good explanations to thai idleness,peacefulness,sleeping a lot and it all sounds wonderful except at the same time the house remains filthy,and there's rubbish all around the yard....i'll call it what it is....laziness.

You can blame the weather,the education system in school,or the lack of direction from parents to children.

However they all seem to wake up quickly when food and drink is offered free and a hand out for some money for free.

Edited August 20, 2019 by thasoss

[Nanaplaza666]

13 hours ago, Airalee said:

Exactly.  

 

There is however a word that Thais use for when they are just sitting there staring off into space in a seemingly contemplative mood.  I don’t know how it’s spelled in Thai language but it sounds something like “meuu” (with an elongated sala eu sound)

Another word for just staring into the abiss is mauw jaba ????

[wolf81]

2 hours ago, Beggar said:

Sounds like a good life to me. I do pretty much the same as your ex. What else do you want to do? But I don't sleep that long. 

Just speaking for myself, I need to work (do something productive) or I get very unhappy. But most of all I do like to work for myself. I can relax a little bit, but often relaxing 2 days in the weekend feels like too much for me - I'd be happy with 1 day of relaxing a week, most of the time.

[Emdog]

Similar concept in the west:

"Sometimes I sit and think. Sometimes I just sit"

[White Christmas13]

 

20 hours ago, Airalee said:

Thais have perfected the art of “chilling”.

 

[tifino]

18 hours ago, Briggsy said:

I would add to this discussion the concept of the word beua which is always translated as bored in English. Many English including myself fall into the trap of thinking the Thai is bored in the Western sense of the word, nothing to do, nothing interesting, nothing to challenge or entertain. 

 

However when the Thai uses beua, it is almost always when they are sick of something or peed off with something. It is much more focused on an activity or person, etc., and clearly negative.

 

I have never heard a Thai person express boredom in the Western nothing to do sense. I suspect many never and the remainder hardly ever feel such an emotion. When there is nothing to do for a Thai, it is great, just sleep.

when mrs says it,

though there's a sort of L in there - b'l'eur (in a drenchish sounding sort of way)

  -  I am made to take that reaction, as a sort of deeper level of exertion of emotion, than 'bababaor'

[Enoon]

 

Discontent.......the Western Way.

 

Thank you Thai people for helping me to see that.