Feeling Rather Disappointed

[mike787]

make sure you give us an update.  

[Destiny1990]

Just guessing but She probably hates you about ur lengthy conversation style.

 

[MiNombreEsFicticious]

I'm sorry this happened to you. You are not the type of personality that goes well with a Thai spouse. You need to let your son go for his own good and end all contact with the woman forever. Chalk it up a horrible life experience that you can only control by walking away. Otherwise it becomes your life, and you will become more miserable by the day. If you cannot accept, you might try discussing it with a mental health professional to see why you are choosing these kinds of relationships for yourself. There is a reason, but you need to discover what that reason is first,, then you can break yourself of the habit. 

[TheFishman1]

 First thing I would do is get a DNA test the second thing I would do Stop giving her money way too much money bro I think this lady is just looking for another sponsor dump or say bye-bye and get your life back togetherTIT

[rumak]

21 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

A reminder to many to not get involved in a serious relationship here, it's most likely based on money, believe it or not they don't naturally like older blokes

mine is different

[TheFishman1]

 Run Forrest run she only cares about the money I would think by now you would get it TIT

[Brick Top]

Hi 

I feel for you i really do , after reading your story it actually made me feel better , the reason being i have been in a similar situation. It almost exactly the same has what happened to me. They suck money off you , as you say its never enough and there is never they never seem to thank you for anything you do for them. I have lived here almost 20 years full time and i never thought that i would be stupid enough to fall into this trap they set , mine is certainly not young at 55 and me 62. Almost everything you talk about has happened to me in the same way except the physical abuse , it seems the more you buy and do for them the less respect you get , in fact i come to realise i get a get nothing back from my lady for my money only anger and verbal abuse.   

[jimn]

@Win2020 Are you crazy? What is wrong with you. Cease contact immediatly and never contact her again. I doubt if the child is yours anyway. Put it down to experience and move on. Do not under any circumstances send her any more money. You have been well and truely scammed.

[AAArdvark]

21 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

I tried, I really did... I read as far as 700,000 baht dowry (sin-sod)...  and realised ‘we have another one’... 

 

Sin-sod for a lady who has previously been married and has a child is generally considered a no-no by all but the most gullible of foreigners.

 

You are the night in shining armour... you are the answer to her financial insecurity... you are the mark.

 

 

700000 for 2nd marriage or 3rd or 1st is a no go for me, even paying for an expensive wedding is out of bounds. If someone is going to buy a girl, just do it one night at a time.

[4737 Carlin]

I couldn't be bothered to read your post. Anyway, leave your wife/girlfriend and Thailand if that's what it was about.

[TGIR]

I don't think anyone could be this stupid.  This has to be fake.

[Grusa]

Have you ever heard of "due diligence"? If not, look it up. You might learn something.

[Elkski]

I cant imagine being so crass as to admit you didn't read the OP but still leave a comment.   That's an immediate block from  me. 

 

I say dont waste money on a DNA test. It will be better just guessing it's not yours.   Sin sod is sought after and gives the family face even if 2nd marriage I have been told by several nice thai  women who talk to me truthfully.  I actually devoted 20 hours research on this topic.  But in the end if mom thinks your a nice catch  she will gain enough face from you taking care of her daughter so I say pay no  sins unless 90% for show.  If family insists on sinsod run.  Now you see where daughter  learned this money grabbing trait.  

50 000 is ridiculous support. 5,000-10,000 is plenty.  10k on the generous side.  

OP sounds like a real nice guy but also a workaholic fool.  5 years in Phuket and no free pussy? 

OP was a fool from day 1.  I say just run and get this bad experience out of your mind.  Find a super quality women next time who will be gentle on such a type  b wimpy man.  

[Peterphuket]

3 hours ago, rumak said:

mine is different

Do you mean "same same but different"

Ha, ha, I understand.

[theonetrueaussie]

1st post this has to be fake...No one could be that silly to continually just give in and keep giving money while getting nothing in return....

[Peterphuket]

2 hours ago, Brick Top said:

Hi 

I feel for you i really do , after reading your story it actually made me feel better , the reason being i have been in a similar situation. It almost exactly the same has what happened to me. They suck money off you , as you say its never enough and there is never they never seem to thank you for anything you do for them. I have lived here almost 20 years full time and i never thought that i would be stupid enough to fall into this trap they set , mine is certainly not young at 55 and me 62. Almost everything you talk about has happened to me in the same way except the physical abuse , it seems the more you buy and do for them the less respect you get , in fact i come to realise i get a get nothing back from my lady for my money only anger and verbal abuse.   

Believe me, there are many like us in this "LOS". Yes including myself....long time ago, but have to say now I stay with a good Thai woman for more then 12 years, so it is possible, they not all bad.

[Pilotman]

Post was far too long.  I saw how long and skipped it, so no further comment, bar, OP needs to get a life and stop asking others for advice, especially on TVF of all places . 

[Tongjaw]

TROLL 

[natway09]

Have you seen the birth certificate. Are you on it ? 

DNA first (if you can)

From now on any & all monies are for the kid only (if it is yours)

If not, disappear if it is disappear & continue by remote

[amykat]

1 hour ago, Pilotman said:

Post was far too long.  I saw how long and skipped it, so no further comment, bar, OP needs to get a life and stop asking others for advice, especially on TVF of all places . 

There is this thing called Twitter for people who demand brevity ...

[IAMHERE]

OP has a good paying job, lots of imagination too I'm supposing.????

[TheAceFace]

Sadly TV folk, in these sad times this will not be the last tale of woe, we made are bed and must sleep in it. Truth hurts, they dont give a f#¤K ABOUT US

[SAINT THOMAS]

A dowry is given to both Virgins and women married before.

 

Its much less for someone married before compared to a Virgin.

 

Someone in the village was married not long ago both are Thais she worked overseas and saved up 2-3 Million baht in a few years and came back, the family wanted from him 100,000 baht and both paid for the wedding.

 

The funniest one was a Thai man whose wife died a few years ago maybe 65 years old wanted to marry a women across the street she is also around 65 years old and wanted 200,000 as a Dowry.

 

The Dowry doesn't mean she is going to stay with you, many stories of Thais marrying Thais and the women just leaving afterwards since the family now has the money.

 

A wealthy married man not far from my house had an affair and got the women pregnant, he accepted taking responsibility for the child not for the women.

 

Another married man of means not far from my house, had an affair with a young women or a Virgin and got her Pregnant, the family asked for 40,000 baht, made him have a marriage ceremony at His house and he now has the child that His wife is raising.

 

First - Stop paying her. You already have the upper hand Thais LOVE Money. 

 

Second - Get away from her especially if she is beating on you. I had a Thai guy come to drink at a little store we have, his wife came and started beating him because he was drinking, I had to throw her out, most Thai women if they did that would be then beat'n by their husbands, seen it many times even if the women started mouthing off or disrespecting them, part of the reason why besides Money Thai women like to marry foreigners, they won't get a beating.

 

[ Choice -  Boot Her or When In Rome Do As The Romans ]

 

I was living with a beautiful women who slapped me ONCE when we were arguing, she wanted to get married from the time she moved in, in America not a Thai women, I told her to get her things and Move Out Now, that was the end of that relationship, I think I even helped her pack. 

 

Third - Get a lawyer to draft an offer to her a 1 time payment of 100,000 baht and custody of the child.

 

Once you Stop paying her and she runs out of Money, she will take any Free Money you offer. 

 

You can always do a DNA test later if you want, I wouldn't establish Paternity ahead of time, I have been to Thai courts before won all my cases, not for anything like this, but the court just might tell you to keep paying her for the child the amount you have already been paying or established for the child and leave custody with her.

 

Then like most women, she will get a new Husband and her, the new husband and family living off You're money will not want you to visit, You're Child.

 

Happens all the time in America, one of the reasons I never had Children. 

[Pilotman]

10 hours ago, amykat said:

There is this thing called Twitter for people who demand brevity ...

and there is a thing called Kindle for those who like long stories. 

[Dexxter]

Summary.... today is April 1st.

Good story of a typical foreign fool being scammed by a predatory Thai woman.

[daveAustin]

1 hour ago, Dexxter said:

Summary.... today is April 1st.

Good story of a typical foreign fool being scammed by a predatory Thai woman.

'Troll' posted topic on the 30th.

[mike787]

What happened to mr. troll????

[Muzzique]

You are in a pickle but it is a rod of your own making. Thai culture is based on respect and for a girl to go with a man especially a Ferang before marriage can seriously damage her reputation in her village community. This is doubly so if you do not marry. Just because she was married before does not mean that she is easy and you should have respected that but despite that she gave herself to you expecting you to be the one. 

 

Once she became pregnant she expected you marry her. It is not unreasonable for her to ask for this for the sake of her and her families reputation.

 

As part of this it is expect of you to pay a dowry or Sin Sod. This is not a cash sum for the sake of it. It shows how much you value her and you are paying back her parents for the way they raised her. During the wedding the whole village will be shown the Sin Sod and it shows that she is a woman that you value and you are refunding the investment  her parents made in making her the woman she is. This is a matter of pride for her and without this it indicates you have no respect for her or her family and she is worthless. Her reputation will be destroyed and her family will feel ashamed.

 

The money asked was too high and you could have negotiated. For a woman on her second marriage and with a previous child a figure of 300-400,000 would have been more reasonable.

 

When you refused her family would have thought it was just negotiation and perhaps your partner told her parents you would offer 500,000 to ensure they would allow you to marry but was reluctant to tell you.

 

When you said no to her you totally shamed her, you basically said she was worthless and let her to go back to her family pregnant and without honor. She would think you used her then cast her away like an old shoe. That you had no compassion and she meant nothing to you.

 

From then on she was motivated by the pain you caused to her. If you would not value her then she would not value you. 

 

When she tried to reconcile I assume you still did not understand her. She gave you another chance but again I assume you put your foot in it. You had another chance to apologize and perhaps give her honor again but you didn't take it so she went back assuming you had another reason for not marrying her. Another woman perhaps.

 

She decided to forget you and to find another guy who would respect her and when you got angry she tried to hurt you. Thai women can be very unforgiving and if you hurt them will hurt you back. Then you contacted her new guy it was basically saying I don't want you but you can't have anyone else.

 

Then you asked to come to the delivery. She was having a child out of wedlock which is a huge shame for her, you had refused to pay her Sin Sod, and you just wanted to come and watch the results of her dishonor delivered. You really rubbed it in.

 

I am not surprise she didn't want to see you or let you see your child. You totally destroyed her reputation and shamed her and her family. She would want to treat you as a low life and take as much from you as she can to get back at you.

 

Then when she did offer an olive branch she sees THAT picture which totally confirms her belief that you were going with others behind her back.

 

Thai woman have a power temper and if you cross them you will get back a whole heap of trouble. Trust me I know.

You used her, shamed her, cheated on her and left her with a totally destroyed life. You are the one who created this and you are the one being made to suffer for it by her. Instead of offering to provide a home for her and your child you stepped over the fact of what you did and treated her as if she was nothing to you and said it is just for your son.

 

She is the mother of your child and if you love your son you should take care of both him and his mother as she is the one who he will love and be closest too. Hurt her and you will drive him away from you.

 

I hope you will now see what you did and what it created. I know this was done out of ignorance and you did not realize the consequences of your actions but this is what you did to her. This is why she treats you like she does.

 

How you move forwards is up to you. You made this mess and fixing it it up to you. 

 

The advice you have been given here is relevant, but if for a year you were fine and she wasn't asking for money at this time I feel sure that was not her initial motivation. What you did next made this mess.

 

If you offer money to give you her son I think you will make the mess even bigger. However I think you should know what you did. It might not fix anything but it will give you a clearer insight into what you did to her.

 

Maybe too much water has gone under the bridge but perhaps you can talk to her about what you did and how ashamed you are of your actions It might change things.  There is no simple answer to your dilemma I'm afraid.

 

[mngmn]

27 minutes ago, Muzzique said:

You are in a pickle but it is a rod of your own making. Thai culture is based on respect and for a girl to go with a man especially a Ferang before marriage can seriously damage her reputation in her village community. This is doubly so if you do not marry. Just because she was married before does not mean that she is easy and you should have respected that but despite that she gave herself to you expecting you to be the one. 

 

Once she became pregnant she expected you marry her. It is not unreasonable for her to ask for this for the sake of her and her families reputation.

 

As part of this it is expect of you to pay a dowry or Sin Sod. This is not a cash sum for the sake of it. It shows how much you value her and you are paying back her parents for the way they raised her. During the wedding the whole village will be shown the Sin Sod and it shows that she is a woman that you value and you are refunding the investment  her parents made in making her the woman she is. This is a matter of pride for her and without this it indicates you have no respect for her or her family and she is worthless. Her reputation will be destroyed and her family will feel ashamed.

 

The money asked was too high and you could have negotiated. For a woman on her second marriage and with a previous child a figure of 300-400,000 would have been more reasonable.

 

When you refused her family would have thought it was just negotiation and perhaps your partner told her parents you would offer 500,000 to ensure they would allow you to marry but was reluctant to tell you.

 

When you said no to her you totally shamed her, you basically said she was worthless and let her to go back to her family pregnant and without honor. She would think you used her then cast her away like an old shoe. That you had no compassion and she meant nothing to you.

 

From then on she was motivated by the pain you caused to her. If you would not value her then she would not value you. 

 

When she tried to reconcile I assume you still did not understand her. She gave you another chance but again I assume you put your foot in it. You had another chance to apologize and perhaps give her honor again but you didn't take it so she went back assuming you had another reason for not marrying her. Another woman perhaps.

 

She decided to forget you and to find another guy who would respect her and when you got angry she tried to hurt you. Thai women can be very unforgiving and if you hurt them will hurt you back. Then you contacted her new guy it was basically saying I don't want you but you can't have anyone else.

 

Then you asked to come to the delivery. She was having a child out of wedlock which is a huge shame for her, you had refused to pay her Sin Sod, and you just wanted to come and watch the results of her dishonor delivered. You really rubbed it in.

 

I am not surprise she didn't want to see you or let you see your child. You totally destroyed her reputation and shamed her and her family. She would want to treat you as a low life and take as much from you as she can to get back at you.

 

Then when she did offer an olive branch she sees THAT picture which totally confirms her belief that you were going with others behind her back.

 

Thai woman have a power temper and if you cross them you will get back a whole heap of trouble. Trust me I know.

You used her, shamed her, cheated on her and left her with a totally destroyed life. You are the one who created this and you are the one being made to suffer for it by her. Instead of offering to provide a home for her and your child you stepped over the fact of what you did and treated her as if she was nothing to you and said it is just for your son.

 

She is the mother of your child and if you love your son you should take care of both him and his mother as she is the one who he will love and be closest too. Hurt her and you will drive him away from you.

 

I hope you will now see what you did and what it created. I know this was done out of ignorance and you did not realize the consequences of your actions but this is what you did to her. This is why she treats you like she does.

 

How you move forwards is up to you. You made this mess and fixing it it up to you. 

 

The advice you have been given here is relevant, but if for a year you were fine and she wasn't asking for money at this time I feel sure that was not her initial motivation. What you did next made this mess.

 

If you offer money to give you her son I think you will make the mess even bigger. However I think you should know what you did. It might not fix anything but it will give you a clearer insight into what you did to her.

 

Maybe too much water has gone under the bridge but perhaps you can talk to her about what you did and how ashamed you are of your actions It might change things.  There is no simple answer to your dilemma I'm afraid.

 

Seriously?

[CharlieH]

Inflammatory Troll post and response to it removed.