I’ve hit the bottom - and I don’t even care..

[Kinnock]

20 hours ago, HandsomeTallFarang said:

Today, is a new day. 
 

I need someone to teach me how to be whole again.  This is not something you do everyday; this is not easy for me...

I'm lucky that (so far) I've not developed any serious addictions, but I've done some voluntary work and met many people in shelters and on the streets who had problems, and what struck me was that they were all nice people.  Pleasant, caring (often too much), highly self aware (i.e not a-holes) people who found life challenging and they enjoyed the relief that alcohol or drugs brought them.

 

And sometimes I think the secret to happiness is being self absorbed and ultra thick-skinned, and that people who are more self aware can make themselves unhappy, and find escape in things that help them to feel less.

 

But what I think this means, is that you may need to find other ways to 'feel' less - exercise, getting involved in helping others, creative activities ..... and at the same time you need to break the hold the addiction has on your system .... and there's no easy way to do this - you have to forced yourself to not drink, ever again.  And this is hard for a few weeks, but I"ve been told it gets much easier after that.

 

But also try to feel less, find other ways to block out the clamour.

 

Good luck, and take care of yourself.

[1FinickyOne]

4 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

what struck me was that they were all nice people.  Pleasant, caring (often too much), highly self aware (i.e not a-holes)

maybe... at least until they borrow money promising to pay it back next week... then next week, they become much less nice, self-aware people when they realize that instead of paying you back, they can put the funds to better use elsewhere... 

[Brayka]

It is hard I know, tough I am not a drinker, I am a smoker and try so many times. You only have to start ONE more time to get sober every time you fall back. Think about what you loose if you continue, your life, relationship, also friends are leaving you. In the beginning they laugh at you and in the end they pity you, and leave you alone in your misery. Life has much more to offer then a drink. Go to a rehab if you realise you can’t do it alone, seek for help, seek for people who support you in this battle. Give up drinking brothers(for a while) ! Maybe go somewhere for a time, set your mind free from everything. I wish you success, hang on there

[RobbyXNorway]

My father was an acoholic that pretty much died with a bottle in his hand (mixed with pills) at age 47.

 

Some people need a wakeup call, some need to give their life to religion as they are in no control by themselves, and some can simply not be helped.

 

I hope you find the strenght to put the bottle away for good. But never forget you are and always will be an alcoholic. Every day will be a struggle. But aspire to something good and try to make someones life better. Take focus from your problems and try to turn things into something positive. It's possible, but its hard. And Thailand might be a really bad place to be with alcohol problems. So step 1 should be to get back to your home country if you have access to any kind of medical help there.

 

Wish you the best of luck, and dont punch the ticket like my old man did. Dont mix drugs/medication with alcohol, ever.

[Kadilo]

3 minutes ago, RobbyXNorway said:

and  Thailand might be a really bad place to be with alcohol problems. 

I’m struggling with this. Why is it harder here?

 

if anything it should be easier, what am I missing? 

[pineapple01]

The company You keep drags you to Drink. Move on.

[PatchinExPat]

19 hours ago, stouricks said:

And then descend to Heineken 0%!

I have been a member of AA since 1980 when I realized drinking was destroying

any chance of me having the life I wanted to live.

I can not drink sensibly , any alcohol in my systems immediately breaks down  my 

ability to say no to the next drink. I get drunk. 

While drunk I just do a lot of things drunk people do.

Things that to sober sensible people seem just stupid.

 

My cure was not to try harder to do right while drunk, half the 

fun of drunk is to do the stupid things.

So drunk is drunk , no question there, drunk is not an illness , just drunk.

 

I needed to stop drinking, I needed all the day after feeling to go away.

The day after feeling were often the cause of this days drinking.

Long story short I tried a lot of things and failed and finally tried AA.

 

AA told me Alcoholism is a disease, that over time gets worse,

also that some day I will take my last drink, it may with out help

be the day I die.

 

So I hung around, I laughed, I talked, I lied, I slipped, I kept coming back.

I read the book, it is a story about me.

I accepted that for me AA was the only way to stop drinking.

So I finally had a sobriety date I wanted to keep.

I got a lot of help from lot of different people at times to help me,

to tell me about their self,

to listen to what was bugging me today. 

To help me stop blaming others for my condition and stop fighting it.

"What do you think, maybe 50% of people never drink, just don't want to

and they have good, cool, hard, and fun, lives just fine."

So could I. I worked the steps, I sought a higher power.

I can to understand that higher power might be God, might be the group,

might be my conscious, might be Good Orderly Direction, and it could

change from time to time. 

 

I change only me, that is the key. I will try change what is needed about "ME" 

and I will accept you will live and act like you want to .

I accept that or I limit my time around you.

People, places, and things, I accept them as they are or I exclude

them from my life the best as possible.

But the key is, the more I change my feelings the more I can 

accept your feelings.

 

I need AA today and most every day.

Thank you so much for the reminder today.

Part of staying sober is being will to share this with others.

If you need help with the program from me, happy to have 

another day of sobriety helping you.

 

 

 

 

[madmen]

4 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

I’m struggling with this. Why is it harder here?

 

if anything it should be easier, what am I missing? 

Bars are in your face here along with promotions encouraging drink until your legless , then there's the heat and last but most importantly it's not like the west where a mates will come to your house.

 

Over here everybody meets in bars, better than 4 blokes sitting in a fan room on a bed drinking and no pretties serving !

[stevefloyd]

You have made the first step by posting here for help, not the best move but at least its a start...take the next step now and have a shower/bath try to get your dignity back and start to feel better in yourself by telling yourself this demon booze is not going to control me !!! good luck my friend

[RJRS1301]

2 hours ago, PatchinExPat said:

I. 

 

I change only me, that is the key. I will try change what is needed about "ME" 

and I will accept you will live and act like you want to .

I accept that or I limit my time around you.

People, places, and things, I accept them as they are or I exclude

them from my life the best as possible.

But the key is, the more I change my feelings the more I can 

accept your feelings.

 

I need AA today and most every day.

Thank you so much for the reminder today.

Part of staying sober is being will to share this with others.

If you need help with the program from me, happy to have 

another day of sobriety helping you.

 

 

 

 

Thank you for sharing such an intimate story.

Admiration to you

[dpeterk]

Back in 2011-12, I took a year off from drinking just to see if I could do it (and I did). We sometimes fall off the wagon but can also get back on. I'm sure the OP will get back on track and stuff. It's not easy but not impossible, either.

[xtrnuno41]

Pop, goes the brain. Whatever happend, four years ago you were alright?

SOmething in YOUR mind made you do it. Drinking, you forget and or even make it worse. Specially drinking alone.

The more you drink , you think <deleted> and its getting out of control. I know that feeling.

The demons in your head are playing with you (once) and by drinking you want to get rit of it?!

However alcohol is addictive and then you get in in another fase, addiction. 

Happily im not there, in real addiction, but if demons come up again sometimes, i'll be drinking till im drunk.

Always regretting it the next day or even in the moment after, as feeling sick.

Like i said it is when your brain pops and you dont care anymore about a thing.

Only your mind can make it better again when you fade out the demons.

I had a college, painend by his demons, his brain popped and committed suicide. Never thought of him to do this.

I still control my pops, but there is the demon in me, it says when it goes wrong now i will let go.

 

My father lost from alcohol addiction. Once he was young and skinny, so my mom asked doctor how to get some more meat on the bone.

The doctor advised her, brandy with eggs. Stirred not shaken. Yeah was totally another time. But that became the step for his addiction.

It was even normal to drink in working time, so he did. Worked at shipyard, visiting the cooks on the boats and then drink , eat.

But he also had his demons and later on in time, it became a real issue. His drinks were his breakfast, lunch and dinner.

He was rarely real drunk as being accostemed to it, but it cost him his live. Also pops in his brain to make it worse and didnt care much.

 

Pops in your brain, they can break you, but also make you. It's all in your mind and what you want to do with them.

You were sober for 44 days, you were controlling yourself, your mind, your pops. SO you CAN !

Everyone can, but it will be a hard fight for the rest of your life.

Maybe you need help and need someone to talk too, like AA buddies. Just to kill your demons which brings you to alcohol.

The hunting feelings you get from missing the alcohol, maybe enhanced by your pops.

But at the end it all comes up to you, your mind, what you want. No one else can force you, all is in you.

 

 

[ThaiWai]

Go to the nearest muay Thai gym and do whatever they say. Saved my life can save yours too. 

[Scott]

Unhelpful, off-topic post and replies removed.

 

[StreetCowboy]

1 hour ago, xtrnuno41 said:

...

But at the end it all comes up to you, your mind, what you want. No one else can force you, all is in you.

But there are people who can help.  Staying sober with a group like Alcoholics Anonymous is much easier than doing it alone.

- Support and encouragement in your goals

- Replacement of the empty time you would spend drinking

- Focus on other activities.

[jpduggan]

Well at least you are talking and that is a good move. Be Strong Bud.

[Aussieroaming]

Hang in there fella, times change and problems do blow over. Best to you

[Penefattore]

when you hit rock bottom , you can only start digging 

[ericthai]

On 6/5/2020 at 5:05 AM, RJRS1301 said:

Is AntAbuse or similar available in Thailand?

See a medico and see what supports may be available 

 

Antabuse (disulfiram) Uses, Dosage, Side Effects - Drugs.com

https://www.drugs.com/antabuse.html

Antabuse (disulfiram) blocks an enzyme that is involved in processing alcohol. Disulfiram produces very unpleasant side effects (such as fast heartbeat, chest pain, nausea, dizziness, flushing, and thirst) when combined with alcohol in the body.

Not sure this brand is in Thailand, but yes there is similar available in Thailand.   My wife sneaks it into my father-in-laws coke so when he tries to drink whiskey at night he get sick. I feel bad for the old guy.    

[scoupeo]

can you try legal cannabis ? THC makes you high and can replace alcohol with less risk.

you can buy it legally at bkk shop.

[Eibot]

Stay strong mate. 

 

I know it's the last thing you want and you WILL feel depressed because of it, but STAY OFF THE DRINKS.

 

Do some exercise, give it a couple of weeks (they will be very <deleted>), and you will feel better.

 

Stay strong brother!

[ChipButty]

Try and get some cannabis oil 2 drops a night you won't even think about drink good luck 

[bwpage3]

On 6/5/2020 at 4:31 AM, HandsomeTallFarang said:

Today, is a new day. 
 

I need someone to teach me how to be whole again.  This is not something you do everyday; this is not easy for me...

Make a list of all the things you think are going wrong in your life.

 

All of them.

 

Rank those that are causing the most despair and unhappiness.

 

Start on the list one at at a time.

 

 

[Onrai]

On 6/5/2020 at 2:45 PM, Orton Rd said:

It is possible to pay the bills, have a shower and avoid argements, yet still drink every day. No need to give up drinking, just cut it down to a few days a week.

Alcoholism is an addiction and a disease. Cutting back is not an option. 

 

[Orton Rd]

3 hours ago, Onrai said:

Alcoholism is an addiction and a disease. Cutting back is not an option. 

 

It cannot be both, it's NOT a disease that is just an excuse to ignore responsibilty. Cutting back IS an option, it does not have to be alchoholic or no drink at all. You'll be telling him to go to those religious nutters at AA next ????

[HandsomeTallFarang]

Update: I’m doing fine now, practically no drinking for at least 7 days. Just had some soju and a beer with my girlfriend 2 days ago but since then no real desire to drink because I realize how terrible it was making everything. No physical dependency, it’s all mental here, and I’ll probably be able to stop or heavily cut back to maybe once a week. The 3-day hangovers and sleeplessness aren’t worth it.

 

On 6/7/2020 at 1:11 AM, scoupeo said:

can you try legal cannabis ? THC makes you high and can replace alcohol with less risk.

you can buy it legally at bkk shop.

what the hell are you talking about? You can’t buy weed here legally, least of all for foreigners. Not even allowed for foreigners medicinally. 

Edited June 12, 2020 by HandsomeTallFarang

[Emmess]

1 hour ago, HandsomeTallFarang said:

Update: I’m doing fine now, practically no drinking for at least 7 days. Just had some soju and a beer with my girlfriend 2 days ago but since then no real desire to drink because I realize how terrible it was making everything. No physical dependency, it’s all mental here, and I’ll probably be able to stop or heavily cut back to maybe once a week. The 3-day hangovers and sleeplessness aren’t worth it.

 

what the hell are you talking about? You can’t buy weed here legally, least of all for foreigners. Not even allowed for foreigners medicinally. 

Good to hear about your "controlled drinking". Weed is not legal but the oil is. Do some research, there are threads in this forum itself as to where it can be obtained. I myself am going to a clinic I found out about on Silom tomorrow.

Edited June 12, 2020 by Emmess

[Emmess]

1 hour ago, HandsomeTallFarang said:

Update: I’m doing fine now, practically no drinking for at least 7 days. Just had some soju and a beer with my girlfriend 2 days ago but since then no real desire to drink because I realize how terrible it was making everything. No physical dependency, it’s all mental here, and I’ll probably be able to stop or heavily cut back to maybe once a week. The 3-day hangovers and sleeplessness aren’t worth it.

 

what the hell are you talking about? You can’t buy weed here legally, least of all for foreigners. Not even allowed for foreigners medicinally. 

Also have a look here https://420medsthailand.com/