Child with a thai woman??

[Grumpy one]

14 hours ago, lovethai123 said:

may be for u. but not for me. I am considering it. as chances of me getting married to a woman of my country is zero now. I have crossed the age barrier of 30 and i cant find a good woman 

You that ugly ????

[lovethai123]

14 hours ago, EricTh said:

 

If you want her to borne you a baby, you should marry her and treat her with respect and not treat her like a baby making machine.

 

i suppose her family should not have thought her of as a debt riddance machine. and an atm. if they didnt then both of us woudnt have met in the first place. 

 

coz the odds of me meeting a regular thai girl with a regular job is zero. coz they dream of a caucasian prince charming who will take them to AMURICCAAA

 

and as i am brown and chubby , they think i will offer them a 3 for 1 deal or may be the backdoor deal. so they dont repsond to my advances. 

[lovethai123]

11 hours ago, Grumpy one said:

You that ugly ????

well its nt abt ugly or handsome, 30 is the barrier here. the good ones are all married now.. the ones who are unmarried are the ones no one likes, so why shud i marry them 

[lovethai123]

18 hours ago, faraday said:

I have the perfect answer...

 

Why not get a baby buffalo? They're very gentle, & I'm sure that as you are chubby & brown skinned, you' ll have a lot in common.

 

Then, buy a pickup....an' a house...& as Thai people say you'll be like a:

 

" frog underneath a coconut shell"

 

Chok Dee.

u r humurous

 

but i dnt know how to raise a buffalo. and buying property/car in a country like thailand. no. i would rather sponsor some bargirls education than buying a house in thailand.  

[themongoose]

15 hours ago, BritManToo said:

That's a bit of an old fashioned idea, western courts and social services seem to have viewed 'mom only' as the ideal parenting for at least the past 20 years. 

Yes, I know that all too well.

 

But I said if you want the best for the child. The courts and social services only want what is best for the mother.

 

Which is all the more reason why having a child these days should not be entered into lightly. If things go bad, most likely you are SOL and on your own.

Edited November 6, 2020 by themongoose

[bwpage3]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:45 AM, lovethai123 said:

Thanks for the input. ????

Most of the influential Thai celebrities are Luk Krueng!

[lovethai123]

53 minutes ago, bwpage3 said:

Most of the influential Thai celebrities are Luk Krueng!

One I know via social media was sharing a room with an ugly old fat man in hong kong. Witnessed with my own eyes. 

I am sure no filthy business was going on and she was sharing the room with him "as a friend" and off coruse sleeping on different beds. ????????

[Thaifly88]

On 11/5/2020 at 9:44 PM, bwpage3 said:

Having a child and being an absent father is the cruelest thing you could ever do to a child.

 

It is downright selfish and just plain wrong.

Exactly right, if the OP doesn’t intend to live permanently with the mother and child (or at least most of the time) it’s irresponsible to have a child. This lady is already a single mother to one child, why increase her burden.

A good idea would be for the OP to be a great step-dad  and continue the relationship with the gf and her child, visiting when possible and providing support.

[scorecard]

You should seek advice about what exactly must go on the birth certificate in regard to you.

 

This is different to what you might typically find in a western country. 

 

Plenty of other western men can give you specific advice on this important point, but hopefully without lots of silly <deleted>. 

[teacherclaire]

I find it impossible to find a girl in my own country  due to various factors.

 

Various factors? Enough. 

[teacherclaire]

8 hours ago, lovethai123 said:

One I know via social media was sharing a room with an ugly old fat man in hong kong. Witnessed with my own eyes. 

I am sure no filthy business was going on and she was sharing the room with him "as a friend" and off coruse sleeping on different beds. ????????

I find it impossible to find a girl in my own country  due to various factors.

 

Should I add more? Don't throw with stones when in a glasshouse. 

[peter267]

Have to observe that 'both' parent child raising not the norm in the 'west' anymore with very high divorce separation rates.   Also consider child raising here in Thailand  has different social factors with prevalence for strong traditional family groups - with a lot of children commonly being raised by aunts & uncles and grandparents.   Parenting is not about punching the clock to input the requiste hours of  parenting but about the nature and quality of the input given by the nurturing & loving adults involved.   Sure alarm bell always ring on all the other aspects of building a long term relationship  with a Thai lady enough bad stories predominate - but not all these relationships end in disaster.  Along with the bad are some good stories.     Seems like you have personal friends here in Thailand better to reduce your scope of getting advice away from this forum my final offering in this post.  

[keithkarmann]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:46 PM, lovethai123 said:

may be for u. but not for me. I am considering it. as chances of me getting married to a woman of my country is zero now. I have crossed the age barrier of 30 and i cant find a good woman 

I met my second English wife when I was 31 years old and and were married for 30 years until she got killed in a car accident. Before I met my second wife I was a bit suicidal as I thought when my first marriage ended my life would be over. At 69 years old I have now been married to my third wife (Thai) for six years.

[LukKrueng]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:48 PM, Salerno said:

 

But, if the genes are there, potential for a decent modelling/TV career.

The potential father says he is 30 and for various reasons can't find a woman that would be willing to marry him in his own country/ culture. Not sure about the genes there.... ????

 

On a more serious note, to the op: if you're not married to the mother at the time the child is born you don't have parental rights even if your name is on the birth certificate and the child has your last name. You'll have to get parental rights through family court

[Tagged]

Anyone here think thai is good caretaker when it comes to kids? 

 

I would never have kids with a thai woman before I was sure she could do the job by her self, and not need her mom and aunties to help out. Never et a thai who can manage to keep the home up to a standard, and taking care of kids at the same time. Not the mention raising a kid in thailand ? christ sake, no

 

Cleaning a decent western house takes 3 hours a week back home, but while a small flat here in Thailand they spend half a day with help. 

[soalbundy]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:41 PM, Lacessit said:

Your child will be "luk krueng" ( half Thai ) and hence looked down on by all Thais. Unless you are going to bring the child up outside Thailand, forget it.

Sorry but that is rubbish. My luk krueng 13 year old son in Isan has never suffered discrimination, just the opposite in fact, he is very popular with his teachers, especially the female teachers who tell him how good looking he is which is a source of embarrassment for him. when he left primary school for higher education two schools vied to have him (he won the inter-school English competition in the province 3 years in a row).

When he was in primary school a classmate made a comment, not directed at him, that falang were rubbish, as a result my son hit him and there was a certain amount of trouble with the teacher and headmaster due to this. I asked the teacher if there was discrimination and he seemed astonished at my question. He supported my son saying he obviously felt that his father (me) was being insulted and lashed out on impulse. It ended with the two boys apologizing to each other and that was the end of it.

Nothing like that has ever happened again. 

[Salerno]

5 minutes ago, Tagged said:

Anyone here think thai is good caretaker when it comes to kids? 

 

Yes.

[Tagged]

10 minutes ago, Salerno said:

 

Yes.

You answer yes as a norm, or just on personal experience with your wife or gf? 

[soalbundy]

i have sent you a pm but my take on this is the same as most other posters here, if you aren't going to live in Thailand as part of a family unit what is the point? So no, don't do it, it's a bad idea.

[diks]

On 11/5/2020 at 11:40 PM, lovethai123 said:

thnx for replying but things aren't that simple. i have never had a child. the people here who are obviously more experienced that me in thailand life have opened by eyes that parenting is a full time job and i cant be a father on a tourist visa.

 

this plan is dropped for now.. i will think of other options .

Wanting a child is already half the rent. Many end up having children without any plans whatsoever. You thinking about it, indicates to me, that you want the best for your child or children. I'd be happy to share a beer and chat with you in Chiang Mai. 

Others have already eluded to absentee fatherhood and at your age you may not be aware of a song, which clearly illustrates the difficulty for the child: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puJt66y0TBw

 

[1FinickyOne]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:20 PM, lovethai123 said:

I have been involved with this girl for a few years now and I have supported her during this pandemic as well even though there was no possibility of meeting. 

Does this mean you have not met her? Or just not during the pandemic?

 

If you have known her in person for a few years, then use your judgment.. you should have that answer... having a child is a commitment and there is no guarantee of what your spouse will do... is she a good mother now? That should give you a good clue. 

 

good luck.

[1FinickyOne]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:41 PM, Lacessit said:

Your child will be "luk krueng" ( half Thai ) and hence looked down on by all Thais

 

Just patently false... so many ladies have told me they want a luuk kreung... 

 

looked down upon like the superstar Tata Young? 

 

 

[diks]

On 11/6/2020 at 1:08 AM, lovethai123 said:

I am not a westerner. Thais are looked down upon in my country. If i have a thai wife , then people would assume that she was a bargirl before. though that's not incorrect and we did meet in a bar ????????.

 

Also her past (though extremely short period of time) which involves working in a bar in the sin city stops me from marrying her.

Why are you worried about that? It is not what she has done before, who knows what the circumstances were. The one thing more important is, does she make you happy and do you think she is truly happy with you.

[1FinickyOne]

On 11/6/2020 at 2:00 AM, lovethai123 said:

After long chit chats with foreigner men in bangkok , pattaya and chiang mai bars , I have learnt that the value of a foreigner is less that a cat/dog in a thai household.

that may be true for foreigners who spend all their time and money in a bar - just as a Thai man who spends all his time drinking w/freinds and not helping out the family...

 

maybe expand your survey a little.. i know plenty of foreign men who are considered important and integral parts of their family - they value their families and their families value them... they don't spend time in bars

[BritManToo]

Just now, kenk24 said:

i know plenty of foreign men who are considered important and integral parts of their family - they value their families and their families value them... they don't spend time in bars

You're right me & my pension are an important part of my family and are valued.

If I were broke, maybe not so much.

[micmichd]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:48 PM, Salerno said:

 

But, if the genes are there, potential for a decent modelling/TV career.

If. The child in question isn't even born yet. 

[jinners]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:47 PM, lovethai123 said:

if u r serious i would take the next flight to bkk and fly to cm. but there aren't any flights. i am always open to discussion with people who have lived in that country

I think you're making a sensible request but you should expect lots of negativity from this forum. I have found the majority in TV to be extremely cynical. There could be many reasons but worth a go as amongst all the dross there will be some nuggets and some helpful souls out there. From my stand point I would say if you're committed to the girl and committed to help with the upbringing of the child, go for it. I, during my working career was often an 'absent' father and know others who were the same for extended periods. Nothing to do with geography, just the job. My main concern would be that as you're unable to see the Thai GF regularly, there is scope for straying and therefore a relationship breakdown which means the child would still be supported (hopefully) but your opportunities to see him/her would be deeply affected, as would the education.

[diks]

On 11/6/2020 at 7:58 AM, BritManToo said:

1. I've never seen my  kid being looked down on, but he's very white, having a dark skinned child may be different.

It is not different at all. I have one of each, One has my skin color and the other one moms skin color. They are both welcome amongst their friends and even popular.

[BritManToo]

On 11/5/2020 at 8:47 PM, lovethai123 said:

if u r serious i would take the next flight to bkk and fly to cm. but there aren't any flights. i am always open to discussion with people who have lived in that country

I'll help as well ........ you're buying the drinks and snacks.

Rumak and I will provide the advice.

Edited November 7, 2020 by BritManToo

[micmichd]

You have to be 100pct sure that you will have a reliable income for at least the next 18 years. Are you sure you can't fail?