Getting Married What Should I Pay

[marc288888]

ANYONE GOT ANY IDEAS WHAT I SHOULD PAY MY GIRLFREINDS PARENTS FOR GETTING MARRIED I HAVE BEEN TOLD I NEED TO PAY FOR GOLD ANYONE KNOW WHAT SIZE OF GOLD I SHOULD BUY ANY HELP WOULD BE GREAT I DONT WANT TO BE RIPPED OFF ..........OH ALSO SHE IS PREGNANT SOMEONE TOLD ME PRICE COMES DOWN IF SHE IS PREGNANT TRUE???????

Edited May 5, 2007 by marc288888

[mosquitoman]

Need more info about your GF age, qualifications, kids already? etc etc

MM

[marc288888]

SHE HAS A DEGREE SHE WORK IN BKK AS A MANAGER IN A HOTEL SHE IS 31 YEARS OLD NEVER BEEN MARRIED SAME AS ME I,M 32 WORKING IN THAILAND AS AN ENGLISH TEACHER FROM ENGLAND SO I,M NOT RICH LOL.....

[macb]

SHE HAS A DEGREE SHE WORK IN BKK AS A MANAGER IN A HOTEL SHE IS 31 YEARS OLD NEVER BEEN MARRIED SAME AS ME I,M 32 WORKING IN THAILAND AS AN ENGLISH TEACHER FROM ENGLAND SO I,M NOT RICH LOL.....

THere is a few Topics on the Forum about wedding costs etc :

Here is the link to one if it helps not sure if you searched already

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?sh...amp;hl=marriage

[vertigo4u]

ANYONE GOT ANY IDEAS WHAT I SHOULD PAY MY GIRLFREINDS PARENTS FOR GETTING MARRIED I HAVE BEEN TOLD I NEED TO PAY FOR GOLD ANYONE KNOW WHAT SIZE OF GOLD I SHOULD BUY ANY HELP WOULD BE GREAT I DONT WANT TO BE RIPPED OFF ..........OH ALSO SHE IS PREGNANT SOMEONE TOLD ME PRICE COMES DOWN IF SHE IS PREGNANT TRUE???????

I have been told from a Friend, who lives and works here in Thailand since 20 Years :

the "Worth" of a Woman is equivalent to the Prize of Land in the Region, where her Family lives - just do not remember the Size of Land !

Anybody knows more about this?

[LoveDaBlues]

ANYONE GOT ANY IDEAS WHAT I SHOULD PAY MY GIRLFREINDS PARENTS FOR GETTING MARRIED I HAVE BEEN TOLD I NEED TO PAY FOR GOLD ANYONE KNOW WHAT SIZE OF GOLD I SHOULD BUY ANY HELP WOULD BE GREAT I DONT WANT TO BE RIPPED OFF ..........OH ALSO SHE IS PREGNANT SOMEONE TOLD ME PRICE COMES DOWN IF SHE IS PREGNANT TRUE???????

I have been told from a Friend, who lives and works here in Thailand since 20 Years :

the "Worth" of a Woman is equivalent to the Prize of Land in the Region, where her Family lives - just do not remember the Size of Land !

Anybody knows more about this?

Yes, I know about this.

You scrape all the buffalo and cow dung off one rai of land where the family lives. Put it all in plastic bags and send to your friend; this is what his advice is worth.

[topdjdel]

do what you can afford is my advice.

The size of the family,area etc etc etc etc all all factors when it comes to the dowry(status).

You will probably have to pay your wedding costs and if you doing the traditional thai,the monks freinds(there will be alot cos it a farang and its a free jolly up)family food etc allow for this,if your on a budget its still cheap in comparision but it does still add up.

If your future wifes parents are still alive ask them if gold cash and dont laugh bulls,gallon of petrol ,tractor it can be anything although gold is favourite.

Thats my experience,I remember hearing a story once that the farang only had to leave his clothes-honest!! I fell over laughing but the family were struggling-clothes instead of gold ,must have drunk too much loew cow me thinks

[Jared]

My wife parents didnt want a penny, you might get lucky like me. Also she was pregnent at the time which may or may not have something to do with it.

[Lickey]

Being of a western culture, im not prepared to give money or gifts to my in-laws, to me, its like buying some meat of the market, i could go there daily and choose the best bit!!when my GF asked about getting maried, i said, NO WAY !! I love her from top to toes, but im not going to buy her, 2 years on and we are still very happy, in your case, if you dont want to get married and give all your money to in-laws, tell them you need money for the best future for your babe to be, hopefully, they will understand this and agree,

Good Luck, rgds Lickey..

[Krub]

Being of a western culture, im not prepared to give money or gifts to my in-laws, to me, its like buying some meat of the market, i could go there daily and choose the best bit!!when my GF asked about getting maried, i said, NO WAY !! I love her from top to toes, but im not going to buy her, 2 years on and we are still very happy, in your case, if you dont want to get married and give all your money to in-laws, tell them you need money for the best future for your babe to be, hopefully, they will understand this and agree,

Good Luck, rgds Lickey..

To each its opinion but I think that it is a good thing to blend in the local culture and not impose your own especially if you live locally.

[peter991]

blend in the local culture and not impose your own especially if you live locally

.

Best advise for most situations in rural Thailand I have read for a long time.

Thanks, Jack.

[unforgiven]

blend in the local culture and not impose your own especially if you live locally

.

Best advise for most situations in rural Thailand I have read for a long time.

Thanks, Jack.

Ask your girlfriend,she'll let you know,, and if she says "up to you" , that's a very bad sign.I didn't pay.I told them I loved her but I was broke and that it was against my religon and customs,, but I didn't get married in the village,, if you do it there your foolish if your told they want $ and you don't give it,you'll have big problems ,, she's in her 30's(old maid by thai standards,and pregnant) pay no sin sod,but offer to pay for the party.......good luck

[Krub]

blend in the local culture and not impose your own especially if you live locally

.

Best advise for most situations in rural Thailand I have read for a long time.

Thanks, Jack.

Ask your girlfriend,she'll let you know,, and if she says "up to you" , that's a very bad sign.I didn't pay.I told them I loved her but I was broke and that it was against my religon and customs,, but I didn't get married in the village,, if you do it there your foolish if your told they want $ and you don't give it,you'll have big problems ,, she's in her 30's(old maid by thai standards,and pregnant) pay no sin sod,but offer to pay for the party.......good luck

Again to each his own opinion but it seems to me that by refusing to accomodate a wedding locally you have shut out your gf/wife from her family.

I would not want a situation like that for myself as I want to live locally and enjoy a good relationship with the whole family.

[marc288888]

THANKS ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE SPOKE TO MY GIRLFREIND AND THE PARENTS I,M GOING TO PAY 100000 AND BUY 2 BAHT OF GOLD CHEAPER THAN A ENGLAND WEDDING SO CANT GRUMBLE

[Krub]

THANKS ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE SPOKE TO MY GIRLFREIND AND THE PARENTS I,M GOING TO PAY 100000 AND BUY 2 BAHT OF GOLD CHEAPER THAN A ENGLAND WEDDING SO CANT GRUMBLE

Good luck and make sure it is done in the traditional way so that the whole village is a witness to your generosity. It will make wonders for your in-laws status in their community

[Luckydog]

Being of a western culture, im not prepared to give money or gifts to my in-laws, to me, its like buying some meat of the market, i could go there daily and choose the best bit!!when my GF asked about getting maried, i said, NO WAY !! I love her from top to toes, but im not going to buy her, 2 years on and we are still very happy, in your case, if you dont want to get married and give all your money to in-laws, tell them you need money for the best future for your babe to be, hopefully, they will understand this and agree,

Good Luck, rgds Lickey..

Hurrah! Good old Lickey. If there were more sensible Farangs like you over here we would be a lot better off. As I have said previously, I don't give shedloads of money to my own family so why the F should I give it to hers. I don't even know the buggers!

[LoveDaBlues]

THANKS ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE SPOKE TO MY GIRLFREIND AND THE PARENTS I,M GOING TO PAY 100000 AND BUY 2 BAHT OF GOLD CHEAPER THAN A ENGLAND WEDDING SO CANT GRUMBLE

Went to an Issan wedding Saturday in a small village. Thai + Thai wedding. The bride was 7 months preggy. Sinsod counted out was 100,000. Also 1 baht gold.

The groom received 22,800 from wifes relatives (this money of course goes to the couple). The wife didn't get much (around 4000) since the groom only had 7 family members there as he's from the deep south.

It seems the last 2 weddings I've been to in Issan and the one's I've heard about the sinsod was 100K.......guess this seems to be the norm.

[pumpuiman]

For a girl her age and pregnant, it seems like too much to me.

Her parents should be paying you

But if it makes the wife happy, and it's no skin off your nose......everybody's happy.

Remember this.....you are marrying your wife's family as well. This is not something to be taken lightly.

You are now their "Social Security Benefit". A very real and serious fact.

You and your wife, and any other of her brothers and sisters will be responsible for the parents care in their old age, and when problems arise in the present. This is just how it's done.

Be fully aware of your obligations before you marry. I'm happy knowing I provide a "safety net" to my new parents, I love my new family as my own......but I've read stories of divorce resulting because of a farang's lack of familiarity with this custom.

I'm not trying to talk you out of it......I couldn't be happier......just know that your marrying a family, and with your marriage comes implied responsibility many farang are not familiar with.

Good luck to you.....all the best,

Eric and Pan

4 years of married bliss

[topdjdel]

For a girl her age and pregnant, it seems like too much to me.

Her parents should be paying you

But if it makes the wife happy, and it's no skin off your nose......everybody's happy.

Remember this.....you are marrying your wife's family as well. This is not something to be taken lightly.

You are now their "Social Security Benefit". A very real and serious fact.

You and your wife, and any other of her brothers and sisters will be responsible for the parents care in their old age, and when problems arise in the present. This is just how it's done.

Be fully aware of your obligations before you marry. I'm happy knowing I provide a "safety net" to my new parents, I love my new family as my own......but I've read stories of divorce resulting because of a farang's lack of familiarity with this custom.

I'm not trying to talk you out of it......I couldn't be happier......just know that your marrying a family, and with your marriage comes implied responsibility many farang are not familiar with.

Good luck to you.....all the best,

Eric and Pan

4 years of married bliss

simply put and with my experience very true.

delboy

[CTM]

THANKS ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE SPOKE TO MY GIRLFREIND AND THE PARENTS I,M GOING TO PAY 100000 AND BUY 2 BAHT OF GOLD CHEAPER THAN A ENGLAND WEDDING SO CANT GRUMBLE

Not an unreasonable amount for a college grad with a good job and no previous husbands or children even if she is a bit “over the hill” by Thai standards. Since I am guessing the baby to be is yours, I’m not sure that gets you a discount.

The other thing to remember is that sin sot in my experience is usually just for show in better off families. The groom usually gets something in return like land or entry into the families business.

PS And stop typing in all caps.

[mikeybee]

From my own experience the first thing the family listen to is everybody in the village saying it's a farang he must have loads of money, so dont be surprised by silly amounts of sin sod, As for myself i didnt offer any money as we tied the knot in bangkok which the family excepted and all i payed for was a party for the family at there home, but you all no how many people come when a party is on offer but to be fair they all brought food so all we supplied was the drink and venue.

From the start though i have never shown that i have alot of money and have always helped out at the family home and tryed to help with the daily chours(going to market,helping get the cows in from the fields and general day to day cleaning)i believe they except you more if you try to fit in with there way of life.

[dong]

For a girl her age and pregnant, it seems like too much to me.

Her parents should be paying you

But if it makes the wife happy, and it's no skin off your nose......everybody's happy.

Remember this.....you are marrying your wife's family as well. This is not something to be taken lightly.

You are now their "Social Security Benefit". A very real and serious fact.

You and your wife, and any other of her brothers and sisters will be responsible for the parents care in their old age, and when problems arise in the present. This is just how it's done.

Be fully aware of your obligations before you marry. I'm happy knowing I provide a "safety net" to my new parents, I love my new family as my own......but I've read stories of divorce resulting because of a farang's lack of familiarity with this custom.

I'm not trying to talk you out of it......I couldn't be happier......just know that your marrying a family, and with your marriage comes implied responsibility many farang are not familiar with.

Good luck to you.....all the best,

Eric and Pan

4 years of married bliss

Im older than my g/f parents..Does that mean they will all take care of me in my old age

[Joe Walshe]

I married a Thai Hotel manager 15 years ago and had the traditional Thai wedding. My wife knew I wasn't keen on paying monks and drunks for a day out. However, it meant a huge amount to her family and friends and was worth it for that. I paid 250,000 baht bck then but we had agreed that The amount less 100,000 would be re-lodged in my account after the wedding, which it was. My wife had a university degree and what was considered a good job. The Sin sod is mostly to show the local community that you are marrying well. Not so different from People in the west paying 50,000 euro on a car or more on a house to show they are successful. We have lived in Europe for 10 years now and have built house for mother-in law. she in turn has signed over the land with the house to my wife. I am happy to send cash to Thailand for worthwhile projects (buy cattle, irrigation) and have never been asked for a dime.

[topdjdel]

I must admit I am enjoying this post,the stories of how and what people do is in my opinion wonderful.

Us brits/europeans/american whatever marrying a thai is wonderful,I for one am very happy and I would go through all the grief(immigration stuff) again.

Mixing our cultures can be difficult and for some very hard to understand and live with,however when it works and most of the time it is only small things(family would like) but most of all it is about fitting in so to speak and making an effort goes a long long way.

When all this works,its bliss!! like most I suspect when everyones happy we the husbands are extremly happy.

Its not rocket science is it,its about understanding people and also understanding Thai culture and accepting it and working together just like any other marriage.

Sorry if offended anyone,but just a few of my own thoughts.

delboy

[Mossfinn]

Sinsod an explanation.

This is a pinned topic in General forum, it might be of interest.

When posting this question, and it comes up a lot, you will get a varied amount of replies, some you should just disregard, others you should take heed and others require a little thought.

I will leave it up to you, which of the above responses falls into what category.

Good Luck, read all the advice, paddle your own canoe and stick by your decision, no matter what some might say.

Moss

[skippybangkok]

Not sure what the others experiences have been, but I was kinda a thing to show the family.... at the end we were so busy doing things, we never really got around to it when they day really came. Most decent families will do it for tradition, and send it back to you after the ceremony.

Edited May 7, 2007 by skippybangkok

[Thaddeus]

Not sure what the others experiences have been, but I was kinda a thing to show the family.... at the end we were so busy doing things, we never really got around to it when they day really came. Most decent families will do it for tradition, and send it back to you after the ceremony.

Quite right.

Personally, 40K down payment, photos taken of course, and two rings which didn't total one baht of gold ... got half the money back after the ceremony and they paid for the party (300+ people)

This whole sinsort thing doesn't wind me up, I've been to many Thai/Thai sinsort negotiation parties where the numbers coming out start as ridiculous and eventually get to bearable.

For me there are two signs.............

1. If the family demand a significant sum and refuse to budge, you are in a world of pain and will be for the rest of your existence, because they really really really need the money.

2. If the family come to an equitable agreement with you, for the sake of tradition......... carry on.

[unforgiven]

THANKS ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE SPOKE TO MY GIRLFREIND AND THE PARENTS I,M GOING TO PAY 100000 AND BUY 2 BAHT OF GOLD CHEAPER THAN A ENGLAND WEDDING SO CANT GRUMBLE

Your a fool... first for agreeing to that rediculous amount and second for comparing it to a western wedding...I'll give you one year and you'll be broke and well ripped of,,if you pay that they'll know they have a live one and the buffalo will get sick soon....btw you girl is going to rip you good.... ding dong

[Lucifer]

THANKS ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE SPOKE TO MY GIRLFREIND AND THE PARENTS I,M GOING TO PAY 100000 AND BUY 2 BAHT OF GOLD CHEAPER THAN A ENGLAND WEDDING SO CANT GRUMBLE

Your a fool... first for agreeing to that rediculous amount and second for comparing it to a western wedding...I'll give you one year and you'll be broke and well ripped of,,if you pay that they'll know they have a live one and the buffalo will get sick soon....btw you girl is going to rip you good.... ding dong

Unforgiven, by name and nature.

However, I suspect you're right.

[JimsKnight]

THANKS ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE SPOKE TO MY GIRLFREIND AND THE PARENTS I,M GOING TO PAY 100000 AND BUY 2 BAHT OF GOLD CHEAPER THAN A ENGLAND WEDDING SO CANT GRUMBLE

Your a fool... first for agreeing to that rediculous amount and second for comparing it to a western wedding...I'll give you one year and you'll be broke and well ripped of,,if you pay that they'll know they have a live one and the buffalo will get sick soon....btw you girl is going to rip you good.... ding dong

It sounds like you speak from experience...