Thrown for a loop...

[Individual One]

On 4/2/2021 at 12:40 PM, thaibeachlovers said:

I doubt anyone on here has enough sexual experience of normal ( not prostitute ) Thai women to know. IMO the change is a by product of the length of time you were away.

 

If she won't discuss the reasons, IMO you should be looking to protect your finances and assets in case it's over.

Five years married to the same Thai woman.  She got seriously <deleted> and resentful when I got stuck in the states.  It is likely your wife's anti farang harangue is all sour grapes because in her mind you were living it up in civilization and she was stuck in the sticks.  You are being punished until you figure out how to get her out of the village and out into the world.  My wife said on numerous occasions she doesn't want to go to the states but I know she'd go in a heartbeat.  Start dropping hints about moving to Canada with her and see if she gets all lovey dovey again.  

[samtab]

she has a cleaner than you new boyfriend ????

 

[natway09]

She also knows that you will be off again soon as soon as convenient to travel.

She has built in to her life friends (that may just be platonic) but who knows.

Just try to work through it if you want.

We normally have a good shower together sometimes before, but always after

[wolf81]

On 1/10/2021 at 7:48 AM, WinterGael said:

The question was not about my wife, per se. I was asking if it is a thai culrural practice to shower and clean ones body immediately after having sex?  And I ask because for three years this was not the norm. 

 

So far no one has addressed the question, only the actions leading up to the question.  

Me and my Thai gf always shower after sex. I like it that way as well tbh.

[J Town]

On 1/10/2021 at 6:56 AM, WinterGael said:

So my question is, is this normal.

There is no normal. It's always negotiating for what works for the both of you. The last time I brought an octopus into bed, she responded by spraying me with creamed corn. Since then, we've never been happier!

[lavender19]

I think she has answered your question. This is how Thai  people are. Sounds like she has got used to showering after  sex. 

[ExpatOne]

On 1/10/2021 at 7:48 AM, WinterGael said:

The question was not about my wife, per se. I was asking if it is a thai culrural practice to shower and clean ones body immediately after having sex?  And I ask because for three years this was not the norm. 

 

So far no one has addressed the question, only the actions leading up to the question.  

 

Been here 15 years and I’ve dated a lot of Thai girls/women. It’s not common practice. The only time it’s happened is if they have a boyfriend or husband. And usually in that case we were also in their condo or house so they wanted everything to be clean, including us, just in case.

[xtrnuno41]

no matter what kind of woman of where they come from, they always change, some faster then another.

in the beginning all is nice and sweet and then ..kabam....change comes in

Changes in everything, really unbelievable. You get to hear the stupiedst negative reasons and remarks.

SO then you change and its up to you what you can tolerate.

And sometimes you can get surprised from one day to another and your wife says "i want to divorce" , just like that.

Been there , done that. Had 2 relations with Dutch woman, 1 Antillean, 1 Indonesian, 1 Philippine and now, that will be my last, 1 Thai.

And the Thai relation is also cracking, due to negative change. Guess many men know by now what they fear if they have a relation:

CHANGE

[gejohesch]

On 1/10/2021 at 12:54 AM, Pilotman said:

I would hastate to draw too many conclusions ..... And no, it is not normal Thai behaviour, after sex within a real relationship. 

My wife tells me her doctor (both Thais of course) told her it's not healthy for me to go and wash my you-know-what after sex (something I have always done in the past). Curiously, that's something she has been telling me in the last year or two only, and we've been together 13 years. So, that's also a change!

[Pilotman]

25 minutes ago, gejohesch said:

My wife tells me her doctor (both Thais of course) told her it's not healthy for me to go and wash my you-know-what after sex (something I have always done in the past). Curiously, that's something she has been telling me in the last year or two only, and we've been together 13 years. So, that's also a change!

how odd

[The Theory]

Perhaps she has learned a lot while your were not around. ????????????

[Lokie]

I always wait until they go shower/powder their nose then jump up and wipe my cock on the curtain... I know - a bad habbit from years of getting full of John Smiths and going back with an 8 pinter, trolleys on and away like $hit off a stick....  

[Mr Dome]

On 2/27/2021 at 6:16 PM, WinterGael said:

But I find she is highly critical of farang in general, now.  She used to be proud of her farang husband.  But now she is openly critical of farang. Things are improving as she see I keep clean but... i think Thai people took to heart complaints of Minister of Health.  She does like to orate over the differences between thai and farang.????????

This is the biggest reveal you have posted so far. It's obvious she feels different about you now.

 

Best case scenario: It's really only one of her fears bringing this about and it will subside as the pandemic gets under control.

 

Worst case scenario: Covid-19 made her realize she actually really doesn't like all those dirty foreigners coming to her country, which would be no surprise. Were many like her around even before this hit.

 

In the West, I'd suggest marriage counselling but I don't think that works in Thailand in most cases.

 

Good luck.

[BusyB]

OP for what it's worth, I've had a couple of long distance relationships, and the chance to observe a few  more. They almost (!) always break up when the pair move together. The old story about seamen going permanently ashore and being divorced inside a few months is well known. It's largely true.

Long distance relationships are not about closeness and intimacy, they are generally about distance and alienation. That is always covered up by the holiday nature of the reunion each time the actors meet again after long absence and relive the early days of their romance before separating again.

Moving together permanently can be quite a shock for one or both partners when reality kicks in. It changes the whole nature of the relationship.

It doesn't have to be about 'betrayal' or the rest of the drama agenda.

I don't do long distance any more.

I'd brace for the 'worst' in your position. Better than trying to rescue a soulless relationship.

Just my 10 (lived and seen) pennorth.

Edited April 3, 2021 by BusyB
spellchecker corrections

[Ban Mai Guy]

I'm not sure about it being normal as everyone is different, but my wife and I  take a shower before and after if we are going to bed after having fun. Usually we're pretty sweaty from getting our bang on..555 If it's on the fly usually a quick clean up is all we do. We enjoy the shower after as we both take it at the same time. It's been part of our norm for 17 years. 

Not sure what to say about your situation other than if I was in your place I would be investigating the why now and not before. Just my opinion. 

[terminatorchiangmai]

Pee and shower before and after sex. Its easy to give or get an infection and then you will be getting the blame game!

[AlfHuy]

On 1/10/2021 at 7:48 AM, WinterGael said:

The question was not about my wife, per se. I was asking if it is a thai culrural practice to shower and clean ones body immediately after having sex?  And I ask because for three years this was not the norm. 

 

So far no one has addressed the question, only the actions leading up to the question.  

I shower once a week in summer and in winter, once a month. Doctor told, it keeps the bugs away.

 

Does her brother live now somewhere close ?

[Pilotman]

14 hours ago, xtrnuno41 said:

no matter what kind of woman of where they come from, they always change

and men don't??? 

[Pilotman]

4 minutes ago, terminatorchiangmai said:

Pee and shower before and after sex. Its easy to give or get an infection and then you will be getting the blame game!

how romantic. ????

[AlfHuy]

On 1/10/2021 at 7:52 AM, Natai Beach said:

The shower thing is fairly normal. 

farangs are infamous for being shower shy in Thailand. Don’t be lazy, keep yourself clean. Farangs have a more pungent body odor than can be quite offensive. 
 

The lack of affection is normal when a woman just isn’t into you anymore. You have been away, she might have found a more skillful and cleaner lover. 
 

Are you giving her orgasms everytime? You might want to work on your technique. 

Give BritManTOO a call.

[AlfHuy]

On 1/10/2021 at 9:20 AM, robblok said:

Got a SG girl who wont allow me into the bed without a shower. Not that strange IMHO. I mean a shower before sleeping. The Thai girls I have been with also always wanted one or two showers a day. In general Thais like hygiene more then foreigners. Back in the Netherlands I used to shower just once a day. Now its two or three times.

Now its two or three times a month.????

[robblok]

1 minute ago, AlfHuy said:

Now its two or three times a month.????

Im no soap dodger that is a term people from an other country are referred too.  Two three times a day of course. Seems normal. Morning evening and if going to the gym extra.

[AlfHuy]

On 4/2/2021 at 1:19 PM, JAS21 said:

Have sex in the shower...quite normal for many...job done.

She needs some privacy too.

[AlfHuy]

22 hours ago, sead said:

My gf doesn't leave my side in bed. She is sticking to me like glue. If she is sweating alot then she will take a quick shower. But after the shower she is on me again, hugging and kissing. Still same after 4 years. I'm 50 and normal looking and she's a stunner. Next time shower before and immediately after sex. Don't wait for her to tell you to go shower. After that go to bed and call her to come and hug and see her reaction. You coming back could have interrupted some affair she is having. Some girls are trying to tell you something with their behaviour just so that you are the one telling her, that you want to separate and that way she will be seeing as the good one. But if she is going for an divorce you will quickly notice a change in behaviour. 

 

I bet she does.

[Jimbo53]

On 1/10/2021 at 1:46 AM, Ventenio said:

you thought about posting.....problem

you did post.........problem

you are getting trolled..........problem

HOWEVER....   don't let her control your life.  get your finances in order, realize it might be over for good, check the map for other cities.....find someone else

tell her you are going to Phuket and then enjoy Chiang Rai  

Might be better not telling her,and just disappear ????????

[BritManToo]

On 1/10/2021 at 9:20 AM, robblok said:

In general Thais like hygiene more then foreigners.

which surprises me as they never clean their houses above waist height, all share food with their fingers, never dispose of their used panty pads and just chuck rubbish out of the door or window.

did i mention not wash their hands after having a poop?

Edited April 4, 2021 by BritManToo

[Jimbo53]

On 4/3/2021 at 4:35 AM, Thingamabob said:

Well said.

What a load of bumph...have u 2 been sleeping with these so called shower shy farangs? What gives you reason to state that? Who told you? A Thai hooker? I have never heard anyone state this in Thailand,apart from Thai women,and it being specific to Indians. 

[BritManToo]

On 2/27/2021 at 6:16 PM, WinterGael said:

She does like to orate over the differences between thai and farang.????????

ask her to list what thai invented and what farang invented?

that's always a laugh.

 

also ask her what service Thailand is famous for offering every country in the world?

Edited April 4, 2021 by BritManToo

[robblok]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

which surprises me as they never clean their houses above waist height, all share food with their fingers, never dispose of their used panty pads and just chuck rubbish out of the door or window.

did i mention not wash their hands after having a poop?

I think it kinda depends what kind of Thais you hang out with. I certainly never had those problems. We just hang out in different socio economic groups. 

 

Never had these problems with any Thai girl. Not saying your wrong because its obviously what you encountered. 

[AlfHuy]

12 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

ask her to list what thai invented and what farang invented?

that's always a laugh.

 

also ask her what service Thailand is famous for offering every country in the world?

Hmmm, cutting pineapples?