Thai / Isaan girls entitled? I don't understand

[Deerculler]

I think that you know the answer to your question.

She will not get better and perhaps worse.

Go as soon as you can before you are too sick or old to move.

 If you get poor health.

Do think she is going look after you?

NO.

Goodluck.

 

 

[Leaver]

43 minutes ago, Tingtong2mut said:

The problem is they are always good, often amazing at first. The cracks usually start to show after a couple of weeks to a month and if you have any experience here you can spot this pretty quickly. The really dangerous ones that play the long game can put on a good front for years, until you see their real colors. I now three or 4 guys here living now in misery. Spent nearly all they had to make the women happy. Probably thought they would get set up and could live on a budget. Unfortunately put all the assets in the wife's name and now dancing to her tune. She knows the golden gooses a$$ is spent and would like nothing better than they Foxtrot Oscar. All unable to return home and live off only their pension or what they have left, nor start again with someone else here. And my girl is different. She's not a psycho or a money grubber but a weirdo

 

 

Good post.  

 

I know a few guys in similar situations.  They only have themselves to blame.  

 

Yes, the Thai girls playing the long game do the most financial damage.  

 

These guys end up leaving nothing to their kids when they pass.  

 

It's all so unnecessary.

[Bangkok Barry]

22 hours ago, Tingtong2mut said:

 

No they leave because I move them on. I usually won't put up with any of this nonsense. Never takes long here does it. I guess you DO pay up. I can't do it

 

It seems, then, that you are extraordinarily inept at picking partners, if you constantly choose one and then you feel you need to 'move them on'. I married my Thai wife over 30 years ago, two weeks after meeting her. Sometimes, now and then, I have to count to 50 over something, occasionally to 100, because of the different cultures, but I have never felt the need to 'move her on'. Try it. The world, her world, whoever she is and what work she does, doesn't only revolve around you. If you are constantly feeling the need to change partners then I would suggest that you might like to look in the mirror for the problem.

[Tingtong2mut]

Just now, Bangkok Barry said:

It seems, then, that you are extraordinarily inept at picking partners, if you constantly choose one and then you feel you need to 'move them on'. I married my Thai wife over 30 years ago, two weeks after meeting her. Sometimes, now and then, I have to count to 50 over something, occasionally to 100, because of the different cultures, but I have never felt the need to 'move her on'. Try it. The world, her world, whoever she is and what work she does, doesn't only revolve around you. If you are constantly feeling the need to change partners then I would suggest that you might like to look in the mirror for the problem.

I think 30 years ago they weren't expecting to go from near poverty to something akin to Disneyland with a free condo thrown in. I assume you have a Bangkok wife "Bangkok Baz"? I am talking about Isaan, a whole different story

[n00dle]

22 hours ago, simon43 said:

The best thing that I ever did for my sanity, my bank account and my happiness was to get rid of my Issan wives and buy a sex doll.... ????

 

Why am I certain you arent kidding

[RocketDog]

The OP doesn't really want to change the relationship. He just wants to talk about it. 

He's been around enough to answer his own questions. 

I think he's just lonely. 

 

But I could be wrong ; it's happened before. 

Edited April 2, 2021 by RocketDog

[Tingtong2mut]

4 minutes ago, Leaver said:

 

Good post.  

 

I know a few guys in similar situations.  They only have themselves to blame.  

 

Yes, the Thai girls playing the long game do the most financial damage.  

 

These guys end up leaving nothing to their kids when they pass.  

 

It's all so unnecessary.

It's horrible and you know I have never seen one of the so called "lucky ones" end up with anything but usually back in a bar or the village where they came from with nothing. I have lived in 4 different villages here and there were always 2 or 3 women had fly in fly out farang "husbands". As soon as the guy was gone the "brother" moved in. One particular one across the road, real Pattaya screamer, on her third foreigner apparently. I asked my highly educated woman what do the other villagers think of this? She just smirked and said "stoopid farang". They think she's geng (smart). I said would it be ok if she did the same to a Thai man? NOOOOOO! Then she had a think and said "when farang come, she love only him", like it made it ok lol. I said well you go to work about 12 hours everyday, how about when you are at work I get a girlfriend, but when you come home I love only you. Is that ok? NOOOOOOOO!!! I am sure they think we are a different species to them

[Tingtong2mut]

Just now, RocketDog said:

The OP doesn't really want to change the relationship. He just wants to talk about it. 

He's been around enough to answer his own questions. 

I think he's just lonely. 

Probably venting more than anything. So what does that make you with your even more inane reply to my lonely post lol?   

[Foghorn]

Treat them mean ,keep them keen , that saying goes a long way here .   Same been there and done that

[Foghorn]

Some people don’t really know what they want and enter a relationship thinking it’s the answer to their lives and they are just not compatible, I get on better with my ex now than when we were together , probably because of my son ( who lives with me ) , but the real truth is they are not on our level ,thinking wise and eventually is shows through, good in the bed but thick in the head , we need companionship aswell , not only sex with a dead head , I’m not calling yours a dead head , mine was.

[473geo]

Ops coming across like a know it all pr@t Iost interest when the cliches started flowing, nothing new here just another one that can't make relationships work and blames the woman

[473geo]

4 minutes ago, Foghorn said:

Some people don’t really know what they want and enter a relationship thinking it’s the answer to their lives and they are just not compatible, I get on better with my ex now than when we were together , probably because of my son ( who lives with me ) , but the real truth is they are not on our level ,thinking wise and eventually is shows through, good in the bed but thick in the head , we need companionship aswell , not only sex with a dead head , I’m not calling yours a dead head , mine was.

Give over, most of the guys here have already screwed up previously with a non Thai woman. Look to yourselves, if you can't handle women don't get involved, seems like the op is on an almost horizontal learning curve, give him another 50 years he might work it out!!!

[Bangkok Barry]

33 minutes ago, Tingtong2mut said:

I think 30 years ago they weren't expecting to go from near poverty to something akin to Disneyland with a free condo thrown in. I assume you have a Bangkok wife "Bangkok Baz"? I am talking about Isaan, a whole different story

My wife is from a small village in Isaan. For the first few years we based ourselves in the UK although we travelled a lot for my job as a journalist that took us around Europe, to the USA and Australia. We then based ourselves in Thailand, as the expenses were high for two to travel and my working hours weren't kind to her and of course she missed her family. That is where I made a sacrifice, I guess.

 

After living with her in Bangkok for 15 years, which is where she had moved to to attend university, and where she later studied to teach English, we moved close - about 1 km - from her village where we have lived for around seven or eight years. She wasn't looking for Disneyland or a free condo, rather someone who was reliable and wasn't a drunken, gambling womanising Thai I suppose. She comes from a decent family who all have good jobs.

 

So I do know about Isaan, the whole different story. Again, why do you keep picking the wrong ones, those looking for Disneyland and a free condo, time after time after time? There are plenty out there who aren't.

Edit: I would add that 30 years ago the desire for a better life with a foreigner was infinitely greater than it is today, as there is a far bigger middle class now and far less of the poverty to which you referred. So I'd say the opposite to what you think might be true. Those who are gold-digging now are just too lazy to work hard. Plenty of those around. A skill you clearly need to develop is to avoid them.

Edited April 2, 2021 by Bangkok Barry

[Tingtong2mut]

6 minutes ago, Bangkok Barry said:

My wife is from a small village in Isaan. For the first few years we based ourselves in the UK although we travelled a lot for my job as a journalist that took us around Europe, to the USA and Australia. We then based ourselves in Thailand, as the expenses were high for two to travel and my working hours weren't kind to her and of course she missed her family. That is where I made a sacrifice, I guess.

 

After living with her in Bangkok for 15 years, which is where she had moved to to attend university, and where she later studied to teach English, we moved close - about 1 km - from her village where we have lived for around seven or eight years. She wasn't looking for Disneyland or a free condo, rather someone who was reliable and wasn't a drunken, gambling womanising Thai I suppose. She comes from a decent family who all have good jobs.

 

So I do know about Isaan, the whole different story. Again, why do you keep picking the wrong ones, those looking for Disneyland and a free condo, time after time after time? There are plenty out there who aren't.

I see it as a numbers / waiting game. Waiting to see if they are genuine or not. Most have unrealistic expectations in my experience, information passed on by the wise ones in their village, who have never met or had anything to do with a foreigner. There are still guys getting cleaned out here every day, happy to entrust / squander their lifesavings on a person with a 12yo education. While that is happening I guess the situation will continue. In a lot of cases even if the girl is half decent her friends or family will screw things up for her in different ways. Crab in a bucket syndrome. One crab makes it to the top and is nearly out....the others pull the escapee back in

[Eindhoven]

22 hours ago, Tingtong2mut said:

That all sounds really nice but I guess my post in a nutshell is saying they bring nothing to the table...I don't mean skills or money. I mean a decent attitude and willingness to at least look after themselves in someway. They seem to expect everything whilst giving nothing and have the attitude and moodiness of a hormonal 14yo girl. I have asked 2 girls I have known here "what do I get from this relationship?". One said "you get my body", the other said "I live with you everyday" lol. It might cut it for a poor village bloke with no hope of getting a woman but if her body is all a women thinks she has to provide in a proper relationship, that's not exactly hard to find elsewhere for a foreigner in Thailand. I just don't understand it? Maybe it is from stories they have heard of guys paying their wives or girlfriends "salaries". Would you move in with a woman back home take care of everything about her while she begrudgingly did very little and pay her a salary? My wallet always has plenty of cash and she knows if she wants something within reason she doesn't have to ask me. She has her own money as well. Isn't that how a normal relationship works? I am happy to accept they don't have the life experience or means we do, and I am happy to do 90% of everything, but not 100%, particularly when I am a good father and support her child as well. 

 

It's not only Issan women; it's just some women. Just get rid. Make plans to move on and that's it. 

Otherwise just get the word Doormat tattooed on your forehead to complete the look.

 

She won't thank you either way. Do it for yourself. It will be a relief.

[How2]

 

read the book "Thailand Fever" it will answer your questions.

[Kenny202]

1 hour ago, 473geo said:

Ops coming across like a know it all pr@t Iost interest when the cliches started flowing, nothing new here just another one that can't make relationships work and blames the woman

Well I dont believe you have added anything apart from what I suspect you believe are pithy one liners. You wont be missed. Dont let ur a$$ hit the door on the way out

[LukKrueng]

23 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Seems to me the OP may be missing one important element, thats ALL the Thais she mixes with on a daily basis bending her ear ! chipping away as to why she has to work at all, why she isnt this or that etc because she has the Golden farang. It happens everywhere guaranteed ! If someone shd knows is also married to farang, you cen bet they are playing "beat the Joneses too. Seen and heard it and suffered it.

Seems like you limit your contacts to only 1 type of Thai women (and farangs who are married to this type) 

[LukKrueng]

Op - we heard your side of the story, now put her on the keyboard and let's hear what she has to say...

[473geo]

8 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

Well I dont believe you have added anything apart from what I suspect you believe are pithy one liners. You wont be missed. Dont let ur a$$ hit the door on the way out

Nearly got it right Ken I believe "don't let the door hit your A on the way out" is the phrase you were looking for, rather spoilt the effect, but nice try, like the op you gave it a go, sadly no cigar

[Tingtong2mut]

Thanks all for the advice guys, I'm off to delete 100 emails

[Kadilo]

Difficult to understand what the OP wants. It’s like because he has showered her and set her up he thinks he somehow owns her and she should be eternally grateful and treat him like some kind of hero. That’s not to say he should be disrespected. If that’s the case in general she’s a wrong in and time to leave whatever the kiddy situation. 

Clearly, she and those before don’t feel the same way. If you were looking for some kind of contract in that way then you should have made that clear from the off. There are plenty of ladies happy to be salaried, stay at home types who will cook clean and bring your slippers when you sit down. 

The fact that several not made your grade indicates you are a poor selector for the type you want. 
 

I see the “long game” and “Thai fever” have made an appearance. 
If the long game is putting up and waiting on  a bloke for years hoping to get all his pension one day then she’s deserves it. It’s not an exclusive club to Thailand, only to those who have been bitten before by their foreign missus and ended up in Thailand as a result. Now, cynically every woman in Thailand is now Playing the same game. 
 

As for Thai fever. It’s a <deleted> novel, say no more. Try living your life not avoiding it because of what someone has made a tonne of cash wanting you to believe. 

Edited April 2, 2021 by Kadilo

[BenDeCosta]

I think any man, no matter how rich he is, who is willing to build a house for a much younger girl who is well out of his league needs his head seeing to. Out in the sticks, most Thais only earn 6000-8000 baht a month, they must feel like they have won the lottery when someone wants to effectively give them a million plus. Unfortunately, with Thai girls if the relationship starts with the guy giving her "pocket money" or buying gifts, building a house, then she will expect that from you forever. I've met many girls who had a decent job, their own place and car, and didn't ask for money, but I admit that this is a small minority.

 

Ultimately only you can decide if you are happy with the current situation or not. And if you are not happy, you need to do something about it. Certainly if I was in your situation I would be wanting to leave immediately, and would maybe leave a lump sum for the kids. But from the sounds of things, she'd probably spend the money on herself and then coming asking for more.

 

I set my wife up with a small business, not a huge investment, and she makes about 800 baht a day from it. Gets her out of the house so that I can relax, and she doesn't need to ask me for money.

Edited April 2, 2021 by BenDeCosta

[BananaBandit]

21 hours ago, BananaBandit said:

23 hours ago, BritManToo said:

My rented gf brings her firm young body to the table bed, which to this 65 year old ,fat, saggy, balding grandpa

 

Have you let yourself slide recently?  I'm like 98-percent sure you said several times you were 75 kg.

Edited 21 hours ago by BananaBandit

 

12 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I'm trying to impress on this young chap that his woman would probably sleep with Quasimodo's granddad for a few dollars. I know the youngsters like to think they get a better deal, 'cos they're slim and handsome, but in reality we're all buying the same product.

 

So you misrepresent yourself in a negative light, for the sake of trying to help a stranger. 

 

Perhaps the most unselfish act I've seen yet on this forum.

[Golden Triangle]

22 hours ago, Tingtong2mut said:

Well that's the hope. But I have seen that go pear shaped many times. More concerning is the plan is for her to take care of my son. But you know Thais, it's buy now pay later. Aka no worry, I take care you sure. I knew of a blokes wife here didn't even go to her husbands funeral, been together 20 years. I think she would be ok in as much as I think any Thai would be ok, but there is always the question mark. I would hope so, I have taken care of her twice lengthy periods she was hospitalized and then at home incapacitated. She's not a bad person as such. Not coniving and sly like some. It's mainly the attitude. I honestly think the quick temper, moodiness and wanting to sleep all the time has something to do with their diet. Liter cups of coke, Milk teas, all the rice and sticky rice, snacks....and sugar in nearly everything they eat. they eat enough sugar in a day to kill an elephant. 

So she's a fat git then ????

[TheFishman1]

After reading your post I just think that you’re not a happy guy you save it been with doctors lawyers nurses is Bar  girls bar girls etc. etc. And it seems like you can’t make it work I just basically be you’d be unhappy or find something wrong with whoever you’re with I wish you all the best we can planning life’s too short dude TIT

[xtrnuno41]

OK you had your experiences. So did I.

I know now, it doesnt matter to women whatever you do good. I red what you do and also red she doesnt care.

That is not new to me and find out, no matter where she comes from (country, society, age), the beginning is nice and sweet and then it goes down hill. Why? i really dont know. And im not the only one who just cant understand this way women act.

Im not gay, as gay seem to understand women better, as they are not a sexual threat? DOnt know.

 

Welcome to the wonder world of women and relations,however you already know due to your experiences.

They say women are from Venus and men from Mars.

Though im not a believer, but in the bible, the first story is about Eve and Adam. What did Eve, she choose for leaving paradise.

First woman ever choose otherwise then paradise. So is it in women then ever since their existence?

They have paradise and destroy it. 

 

Ive seen, heard, lived it all and finding the one is an utopia. It always change and doesnt matter how good you are or do.

I dont think it exist. I also dont get it.

My first wife is now longer married  to her second husband then me and he also came out of a broken relation.

12 years and you think we are doing good, 2 kids, house, good income, but nope, out of the blue she came with demand for divorce. It really cracked me down. Still dont know why.

So is my second wife, but ok that one really lied and i believed. Too much pink glasses my way. That was a real big mistake.

 

This morning i was reading in another forum of  a guy being together with a 46 yo(Thai)woman for 6 years and he popped the question, will you marry me. In reaction she was nicely surprised, but didnt answer the question with a YES , i do.

So she shot him down now he is hanging, not feeling good and wondering what to do now. Friends of him said something was wrong and yeah of course something is wrong, only what? Can be a minor or major issue, he doesnt know.

 

You get it? Understand woman? You must be gay then.

 

 

[Golden Triangle]

Thank the Lord my Mrs doesn't come from Issan, not that there's anything wrong with Issan girls, I've had plenty from that neck of the woods in the past, Korat, Kamphangphet, Phimai & loads of them in Pattaya working in hotels, bars, go go's & massage parlours.

 

Me & the Mrs have been together for over 10 years, her family are only 3 hours along the coast, a lovely, small family who I have the greatest respect for, they work hard growing fruit, her brother and his wife have a beautiful daughter who recently graduated from uni, my other half spends her day making Lemon cookies, white chocolate & coconut cookies & different flavoured cheesecakes, all for sale, she also makes a delicious pate.

 

We laugh & joke everyday, humour is very important in a relationship as far as I'm concerned, I haven't bought her a house or land, her dad once said I could have a patch of land not far from his to build on, my response was not on your nelly, she has a car & bike and a comfortable lifestyle, she's happy, so am I, and that is all that matters or counts

[BenDeCosta]

31 minutes ago, Golden Triangle said:

  I've had plenty from that neck of the woods in the past, Korat, Kamphangphet 

 

Kham Phaengphet is not Isaan. 

[allanos]

I believe it was Rudyard Kipling who said "east is east, and west is west, and never the twain shall meet". He wasn't kidding.

 

But, as well as a culture clash, there is also the question of a "class" clash! How is it possible, then, for an educated First World, middle-class westerner to settle into a long-term relationship with (more often than not), a Thai lady 20-30 years younger, unworldly, and with a sub-standard education (in Western terms), speaking a wholly different language, and who comes from a dirt-poor, hard-scrabble background?  Compounded, too, with a kid or kids from a previous Thai relationship?

 

The odds are immensely stacked against such a skewed relationship working out, although there are many on here who would state that, despite the long odds, they are in a good, possibly close-to-loving, relationship with their Thai partner.

 

Then, there is the OP's self-appraisal, versus his appraisal of his partner.

 

He is the breadwinner, the do-gooder, the turn-the-other-cheeker, who, in spite of these glowing attributes, has never been able to make a go of any previous relationships, be it with hi-so's or bar-girls (prostitutes).

 

The slovenly lady in his life has no chance of meeting his expectations, whatever her previous status, and, in this particular case, she is too flawed to even come close to the woman of his desires.

 

Something's gotta give! Perhaps there is a middle path for both of them? This may depend on who holds the balance of power, or what each is prepared to forego if the relationship is to survive in its present form.

 

I'm not a betting man.  If I were, the odds are about one to four on, imho!

 

Edited April 2, 2021 by allanos
typo