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What is the Secret to Happiness?


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6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I agree, but that is rather sad, that a country with so many problems is better than anywhere else I have resided, other than Antarctica, and all who go there are given but a short time in that blessed continent.

You will need to big it up a bit more than that to persuade me to move to Antarctica.  
Furthermore, I think that life in Antarctica is made more pleasant by the optimistic confidence that it is not till the end of your days.

We are not all Captain Oates.

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Just now, StreetCowboy said:

You will need to big it up a bit more than that to persuade me to move to Antarctica.  
Furthermore, I think that life in Antarctica is made more pleasant by the optimistic confidence that it is not till the end of your days.

We are not all Captain Oates.

I must admit that there were two sorts of people in Antarctica. Those like me that knew it was as good as ever we were going to have in our entire lives, and those that couldn't wait to leave it behind, because they couldn't see what was in front of them.

Sadly, the majority were in the latter camp.

However, had I been able I would have lived my life there and been happy for the gift.

 

I'm minded of one fellow that spent the entire 8 months of isolation missing his girlfriend back home. The relationship lasted about 5 minutes when he finally got home, and I doubt it was her fault.

 

As for Oates, he was unfortunate, as were the others in the group to be led by that man. One can be sure that I am not a fan of Scott.

I've been there and my job was outside, not in the warmth and comfort of the base, so I do have some idea of what it was like. I've also read plenty of books about those expeditions, including that by Amundsen, a man that did actually know what he was doing.

Just to contemplate walking to the pole while dragging a heavy sled when the far, far superior mode of travel using dogs was available, IMO shows that he should never have been in charge. Shackleton, a far more competent polar leader, did not make that mistake.

Scott's errors of judgement were blatant and many, but not much point in putting them all down on here. Easily found on line.

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16 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Can anyone here tell me the secret to happiness?

Yes, I can.

 

It is the overcoming of obstacles. Only that will make you happy.

 

So you have to have unhappiness, obstacles, problems, and then overcome them. That is the only way to achieve happiness.

 

That is why modern society is so unhappy and miserable. So few serious problems. What does modern man overcome? The problem of deciding which Netflix series to watch. That's why Farang in Thailand are so unhappy. So few problems.

 

Try and listen to the music of societies that had deep and serious problems. Their music will be very cheerful and happy. Then listen to Nirvana.

 

 

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46 minutes ago, Pravda said:

I can tell you one thing for sure. Anyone who comes to this forum and boasts about their great life is definitely not happy. You have to be totally depressed to gloat about it to anonymous forum members who could care less.

 

You definitely have no friends or family that loves you.

Maybe you will have a better day tomorrow ????

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1 hour ago, KannikaP said:

So if I am Muslim, Shinto or Rastafarian I cannot be happy, no?

 

To un-confuse Thaibeachlovers and ChrisKC.   Quoting fitobethaied 'When we reject Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior, the wrath of God abides on us, and we should never expect that we can live a life that delivers any kind of happiness'

He is saying that unless one embraces Christianity & Jesus Christ, one cannot be happy. Not true, I know many happy Rastas!

There’s loads of salesmen selling the same God, but there is no God but God, who is available to all his children, regardless of the claims of their brothers. 
You can make your own mind up about the nature of God, based on what you have been told and seen, but at the end of the day, it is between you and Him, and until then, it is up to you.

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There is no "one size fits all" when it comes to happiness! It is a unique, personal thing.

 

It might be said that one man's happiness is another man's misery.

 

And whoever believes that it is possible to be ecstatic, or happy, continually, probably resides in an asylum.

 

Happiness will always be ephemeral. Not to say that it has a finite duration, but it cannot last but fleetingly.

 

I think we are largely confusing contentment, here, with happiness. Contentment may be far longer-lasting, and is often more difficult to attain than the soon-vanishing "happiness", but is well worth the effort.

 

For those that feel they have achieved a long-lasting happiness, then I say, long may it last!

 

 

 

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11 minutes ago, Tanomazu said:

Yes, I can.

 

It is the overcoming of obstacles. Only that will make you happy.

 

So you have to have unhappiness, obstacles, problems, and then overcome them. That is the only way to achieve happiness.

 

That is why modern society is so unhappy and miserable. So few serious problems. What does modern man overcome? The problem of deciding which Netflix series to watch. That's why Farang in Thailand are so unhappy. So few problems.

 

Try and listen to the music of societies that had deep and serious problems. Their music will be very cheerful and happy. Then listen to Nirvana.

 

 

Seneca - "The Obstacle is the Way". It was true when he described it then, and it is perfect for today's world still!

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1 hour ago, KannikaP said:

So if I am Muslim, Shinto or Rastafarian I cannot be happy, no?

 

To un-confuse Thaibeachlovers and ChrisKC.   Quoting fitobethaied 'When we reject Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior, the wrath of God abides on us, and we should never expect that we can live a life that delivers any kind of happiness'

He is saying that unless one embraces Christianity & Jesus Christ, one cannot be happy. Not true, I know many happy Rastas!

Don't know why you claim I'm confused. Please explain.

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11 minutes ago, allanos said:

There is no "one size fits all" when it comes to happiness! It is a unique, personal thing.

 

It might be said that one man's happiness is another man's misery.

 

And whoever believes that it is possible to be ecstatic, or happy, continually, probably resides in an asylum.

 

Happiness will always be ephemeral. Not to say that it has a finite duration, but it cannot last but fleetingly.

 

I think we are largely confusing contentment, here, with happiness. Contentment may be far longer-lasting, and is often more difficult to attain than the soon-vanishing "happiness", but is well worth the effort.

 

For those that feel they have achieved a long-lasting happiness, then I say, long may it last!

 

 

 

IMO what makes us unhappy is wanting what we can't have. Therefore if we remove ourselves from the world of greed and women we might have a chance for contentment, if not happiness. The only problem with that is that the only organization I know of offering such is a monastery, and I don't think I could tolerate the getting up before dawn to do a load of chanting.

 

NB, I do not consider I'd be happy as a hermit.

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1 hour ago, fittobethaied said:

If one goes in search of happiness, that person will never be fulfilled. Happiness depends on external circumstances which are forever changing from day to day. Instead, we should strive to discover inner joy and peace which can only be found in a personal relationship with the Creator God of the universe. When we reject Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior, the wrath of God abides on us, and we should never expect that we can live a life that delivers any kind of happiness in a meaningful and consistent way. 

Before The Second Coming of Christ, This Will Happen To So Many - YouTube

This is a joke, isn't it?

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5 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

IMO what makes us unhappy is wanting what we can't have. Therefore if we remove ourselves from the world of greed and women we might have a chance for contentment, if not happiness. The only problem with that is that the only organization I know of offering such is a monastery, and I don't think I could tolerate the getting up before dawn to do a load of chanting.

 

NB, I do not consider I'd be happy as a hermit.

I had exactly the same problem. I tried the monastic life once, I felt like a total idiot and fraud, chanting and eating porridge.

 

On the plus side, food tasted divine after a period of deprivation. Overcoming obstacles. The path to happiness.

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4 minutes ago, Tanomazu said:

I had exactly the same problem. I tried the monastic life once, I felt like a total idiot and fraud, chanting and eating porridge.

 

On the plus side, food tasted divine after a period of deprivation. Overcoming obstacles. The path to happiness.

There is nothing better than overcoming obstacles. Goals without obstacles are just deleted

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1 minute ago, StreetCowboy said:

There is nothing better than overcoming obstacles. Goals without obstacles are just deleted

Absolutely. It is the only path to happiness really, to overcome an obstacle or problem.

 

If you think back to the happiest time in your life, it will be connected to you overcoming an obstacle or problem.

 

As someone said above, unfortunately these moments of happiness are fleeting and ephemeral. We all try to avoid problems, rather than seeking them out, which overall is a wise thing to do, but is also the way to minimize happiness.

 

 

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Happiness is being able to do what we want in life. Similarly, I define success as being able to spend your life in your own way. I was happy enough in the UK; I’m happier still in LOS, because here I’ve found more freedom to do exactly what I want in life. I am happy, very content with my lot.

 

How about you? Are you living a life of your own choosing?

 

What motivates you? What do you want to achieve for yourself and those you love? What do you value most, spiritually, emotionally, and materially? If you’ve reached those goals you will be happy and if you haven’t, chances are that you won't be happy.

 

Having a purpose is the key to a fulfilling and happy life, not forgetting that one person’s happiness is another’s nightmare. There are people on these forums who seem to live a life that I’d hate and vice-versa. So long as you are able to follow your purpose your life will have meaning…to you. And it does not matter, in the context of this question, what other people's opinions of you are. Contentment comes at a time that you understand what your purpose is and that you are pursuing it. Discontent arrives when you forget or can’t find or are blocked from pursuing your purpose.

 

I also like what Mark Twain wrote when looking back on his life:

 

"There isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that."

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It is not about money. I have had my ups and downs. But the best time in my life was when I had no money at all.

Pattaya 1965. I had lost my job. I stayed with a Thai friend who owned a very popular resort, restaurant  and boathouse , he gave me free food and drink (beer) and accommodation overlooking the beach. We went spearfishing nearly every  day in his boat. The water was crystal clear and teeming with large fish, including sharks .I gave him most of my catch which averaged probably 25 to 50 kg a day. I kept a few fish in his freezer for myself which I gave as tips to accommodating bar girls.  I did this for nearly six months. 

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Late last year a group of UK the scientist managed to create what the formula for obtaining happiness is.

And it just comes down to just 3 words---

 

Some of the findings were surprising = most people are unhappiest at midlife. Young people and the very old are our happiest citizens. Satisfaction over life decreases from the early 20s, plateaus for about 40 years and then increases from about 65.  How they measured it was with the question – “Take a moment and imagine a ladder with steps numbered from zero at the bottom to 10 at the top. The top of the ladder represents the best possible life for you, and the bottom of the ladder represents the worst possible life for you. On which step of the ladder would you say you personally feel you stand?

The question that remains is what contributes to one's overall happiness. Hence the Formula by the UK Scientists

 

image.png.4a1b50db925f41ea236454616781c7fd.png

Happiness equals reality minus expectations.

 

 

 

 

So the three word Formula to help obtain happiness ………….Lower your Expectations”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by sanuk711
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25 minutes ago, gamini said:

It is not about money. I have had my ups and downs. But the best time in my life was when I had no money at all.

Pattaya 1965. I had lost my job. I stayed with a Thai friend who owned a very popular resort, restaurant  and boathouse , he gave me free food and drink (beer) and accommodation overlooking the beach. We went spearfishing nearly every  day in his boat. The water was crystal clear and teeming with large fish, including sharks .I gave him most of my catch which averaged probably 25 to 50 kg a day. I kept a few fish in his freezer for myself which I gave as tips to accommodating bar girls.  I did this for nearly six months. 

1965?

Hmmmm......

Good!

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1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Don't know why you claim I'm confused. Please explain.

Maybe because you clicked on the CONFUSED icon when I asked about muslims, shinto & Rastas..

Edited by KannikaP
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"Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen, nineteen and six, result happiness.  Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery."

 

~ Wilkins Micawber
(Charles Dickens - David Copperfield)

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