THE WEEK THAT WAS On dying in Thailand; and going from hero to zero

[rooster59]

 

One of the most touching stories of the week came from the north east of Thailand - that lovely part of the kingdom that this Bangkokian has always thoroughly appreciated even if I like to tease the natives as bumpkins.

 

The story featured a 64 year old lady called Luay who died from lung cancer last week and was given a rather unusual sendoff in front of the temple crematorium.

 

In her interesting life she had been a Ramwong Girl - a kind of dancer in short skirt famous for appearing at all kinds of events and accompanying “luuk thung” or country singers in their performances and videos.

 

In later life she started her own troupe and it was these ladies - some perhaps a little the ‘wrong’ side of 50 - who turned out to perform three numbers before the fire was lit and Luay went upstairs through the chimney to join the dancers in the clouds.

 

How beautiful to see the grieving celebrating a life well lived, clapping the performance and being comforted by comments that this is “exactly how she would have wanted to go”.

 

Rooster has been to many Thai funerals though none were as sad as my first wedding...I jest.

 

But they are not always as sad as you might think with many involving a lot of hard drinking and gambling, especially out in the sticks. And especially if the departed “enjoyed a good innings” as British people like to say.

 

The common expression for a funeral in Thai is “ngaan sop”, the two component words meaning roughly “event” and directly, “corpse”. The latter word shows how Thais are far more attuned to death than most westerners who love to slather someone’s “passing” in euphemisms. 

 

My first Thai girlfriend who wanted to explain “ngaan sop” to me and didn’t know the word funeral went for the charming and direct translation of “party dead”. That summed it up neatly.

 

People are dead, not passed, and shouldn’t it be a celebration too?

 

I will never forget the death of a very close mid-thirties Scottish friend who very sadly succumbed to cancer in 2001. The Saturday before, his prognosis had seemed hopeful and we had happily watched Wimbledon together in his room at Bumrungrad.

 

A couple of days later he was dead and on the next Saturday myself and many friends trooped off to a temple in Bang Mot where we were greeted by the unbelievable sight of our pal lying on a slab dressed in a suit, something all the more incongruous to us because we never saw him at work.

 

We expected him to be nailed down already in a coffin.

 

His Thai wife beckoned me forward and we kneeled together respectfully by Mike's body. She said calmly that if there was any reason to harbour any bad feelings towards my friend and her husband, we could wash them away by bathing his hand that she then stretched out for this purpose. 

 

It was incredibly moving and a poignant and unforgettable way to say goodbye to a dear friend. It provided a profound sense of closure. I keep some of his ashes in a place of honor in my condo to this day. 

 

A reminder of a special guy, and a reminder to live each day to the fullest.

 

As always the week on ASEAN NOW was a brilliant mixture of the touching, the absurd and the utterly predictable, reminding those of us lucky enough to live in the kingdom why we are here and why so many are doing a PhD in “Thailand Pass Studies” just to visit!

 

At Suwannaphum (my spelling) customs caught two young Pakistanis trying to traverse the Green Lane with more than 30 kilos of heroin and ketamine worth 95 million baht in instant tea sachets in their luggage. For this the hapless mules were paid the princely sum of 20,000 baht each.

 

This brought to mind Oscar Wilde in America and I paraphrase: 

 

“We have nothing to declare but our stupidity”. 

 

The latest NIDA poll suggested that half of the Thai population never watch porn. Rooster extrapolated this to mean that half do. If only half admit such mischief to a pollster then the real figure is probably 90%. 

 

The two facedness about porn is one of the cornerstones of Thai culture - similar to the denial of prostitution. I never, ever watch it and of course never would…….if you get my drift.

 

In crime news in Kanchanaburi a 50 something woman fainted when reporters pressed her for information following the shooting of a 27 year old man who had been sitting beside her in a pick-up stopped at the lights - as well she might.

 

It emerged that the shooter who emptied his 9mm 11 times into her friend after chasing him on his bike to a nearby parking lot was in fact her own 29 year old son who was annoyed about the affair his mum was having with the younger guy who was a farmer from Phetchabun. 

 

I wonder if she’ll forgive her little boy or take him some sweeties in the clink.

 

The shooter might do as much time as Ferrari Joe who the RTP are hanging out to dry after his shenanigans in Nakhon Sawan a couple of months back. Chief Suwat said on Monday that he expects “Chief Joe” to be drummed out of the force. No way Jose!

 

Surely wrapping someone’s head in multiple layers of plastic, thereby murdering them, in an effort to get millions more baht to add to your paltry 600 million in cars, deserves a second chance. 

 

Where is your sense of fair play Gen Suwat?  Or are all the inactive posts filled?

 

A grim case of extortion and sex emerged after a mobile phone trader filmed two teens in the toilets having ‘relations’ (there’s my Blighty euphemisms kicking in…)

 

He soon blackmailed the pair and after the boy went to get 5,000 at the ATM forced the 16 year old girl in school uniform to pleasure him in his CRV.

 

He denied everything as the proverbial “investigations continued”.

 

Tourism minister Pipat Ratchakitprakan made his second sensible comment in as many weeks. He really should be careful as this could make him stand out like a sore thumb in the cabinet.

 

This time he said that the 2 pm to 5 pm alcohol ban in Thailand was unfathomable and he called for a repeal of the law. To promote tourism, you understand.

 

Posters on the forum tried to recall which puritanical minister in the Thaksin era brought in these daft rules.

 

They were originally designed to stop school kids having a tipple after school; that’s cruel, children need something strong after suffering rote learning in Thai school all day. 

 

Things got worse when the ban was extended to 7-Elevens, supermarkets and restaurants in the afternoon and 24 hours in gas stations. Ostensibly to stop people from drunk driving. 

 

Some countries around the world have laws and an entity called the police force that enforces them when it comes to DUI. Here in Thailand the issue is still treated with the most childish of kid gloves.

 

This was exemplified as the DLT proudly rolled out their demerit points system on Wednesday for taxi, bus, tuk-tuk, and motorcycle taxi drivers as well as truckers. 

 

They all get 100 lovely points and to go to zero you’d have to get plastered several times, refuse to pick up anyone at all, leave the meter off 24/7 and generally behave more obnoxiously than Anutin, if that is possible. Even then you can top up the points by sleeping through a bit of “training”.

 

What the translator didn’t mention was the way that drivers could go to zero from 100 in one fell swoop:

 

“By damaging the reputation or image of Thailand”.

 

Such a misdemeanour, tantamount to treason, was clearly high up in the minds of immigration and other officials who shut the door on government critic Yan Marchal for being a “threat to national security”. 

 

Readers will recall the Frenchman’s rather pithy song in Thai in 2019 mocking our leader who art in khaki, hollow be thy name, for attempting to return happiness to the people. Subsequently he garnered 600,000 followers on Twitter exceeding the “head above the parapet half million mark”....

 

Onliners had a field day pointing out that now he is heading out of the country he is really free to put his oar in! While one poster who shall remain nameless tickled me pink with an observation aimed at the government:

 

“A threat to security? - more like a threat to their ego”.

 

In lurgy news the emergence at the end of the previous week of the new Omicron variant had the Thais scurrying, as is their wont.

 

Inevitably the widely praised decision to replace onerous and expensive RT-PCR tests with easy and cheap ATK swabs was reversed amid the hysteria of “expecting the worst”. 

 

OK, this may prove sensible but Rooster like millions of others could see what was coming when governments the world over started reacting to the new strain. 

 

As something of a wordsmith intimately familiar with the Greek alphabet because of Scrabble, I was intrigued by the WHO’s reasoning behind jumping over XI and NU - the former because it’s a familiar name (even a president who ought not to be offended) and the latter because it sounds like “New” and could be confusing.

 

Earlier in the pandemic I pointed out that an anagram of CORONAVIRUS was CARNIVOROUS. 

 

The latest variant is even more meaty. 

 

It’s anagram is MORONIC, conspiracy theorists take note.

 

Down in Pattaya a heavily tattooed Thai with the nickname “Duck Striped Face” was arrested and admitted robbing a female Russian tourist because he needed alcohol and drugs. 

 

ASEAN NOW’s staple of crime at “the resort” has tapered off during the pandemic despite the fact that whenever we report on crime posters say it is increasing because of the desperation of the people. 

 

I could be wrong but I’d say if our forum is anything to go by there has been less street crime like snatch theft and robbery in the pandemic. Maybe more problems online.

 

In other news Central Group announced they were buying the famous British department store Selfridges while a fire on the eighth floor of Central World in downtown Bangkok killed several employees.

 

Finally, in the rush to worry about “omicron” and coronavirus we should not forget other diseases that affect millions worldwide.

 

One such virus is HIV and the WHO noted the continuing fight to raise awareness and stop stigma as World Aids Day was marked on December 1st.

 

These days antiretroviral treatment means that tens of millions of HIV-ers around the world live normal lives and normal lifespans. Indeed those with what is called undetectable viral loads are not even infectious. But not everybody has access to treatment and deep seated prejudice and misinformation - ring any bells? - remains.

 

Estimates vary but at least 600,000 to 700,000 HIV+ folk are in Thailand.

 

Great strides have been made by many in Thailand both in the medical and pharmaceutical sectors and society in general but discrimination still exists.

 

Suthep Ou-oun of a parliamentary labor affairs committee said on World Aids Day that discrimination against people illegally being made to prove they are HIV negative before getting jobs - and being denied employment if they test positive - still exists in Thailand. 

 

He said that this needs to end now.

 

I second that and call for all people to work together to reduce inequalities, end stigma and get life saving treatment for all.

 

I also call for anybody - male or female - who might have got the virus to have a test. Knowing your status is far, far better than ignorance.

 

Don’t get carried away by Covid-19. Yes, it’s serious and “in vogue” but there are other conditions that persist and safeguards to take. 

 

Like wearing condoms or insisting on their use and looking right, left then right again when crossing the road.

 

Rooster

 

 

-- © Copyright  ASEAN NOW 2021-12-04

 

- Whatever you're going through, the Samaritans are here for you

- Follow ASEAN NOW on LINE for breaking COVID-19 updates

  

 

[Tropicalevo]

Your opening comments prompted a lot of memories for me.

Funerals in Thailand are an unforgettable experience for most westerners.

My first was that of a friend way back in 2002. He had been murdered. As well as the cultural experience, among the mourners were embassy officials, reporters and (allegedly) someone from the CIA.

In all of my years here in Thailand, I have been to quite a few more funerals.

My latest one was the most difficult. My wife passed away in her sleep and I had to collect some of her ashes to take back for her family in the UK. Scooping up handfuls of bits of bones and ash, after the cremation, was not on my list of experiences to look forward to.

Travelling with said ashes to the UK from Thailand to the UK via Turkey is a whole new story.

[jobsworth]

17 hours ago, Tropicalevo said:

Travelling with said ashes to the UK from Thailand to the UK via Turkey is a whole new story.

Please tell us more.

 

[Stargeezr]

Thanks for another weeks worth of news.  I am just glad that Thailand did not panic and shut down

all arrivals for the incoming brave travelers who are planning to spend some , or  the rest of Winter in Thailand.

  With the restriction of no bars allowed to open, has shown me that my decision to wait until next Winter to travel to Thailand was

the right one.   Some of my friends have gone over, and they all say that this Winters stay will be different 

  as most of the other international tourists that they know from previous trips are not coming to

Thailand because of the rules and restrictions.  My Thai family will have a memorial ceremony for one

of the relatives when the family members who live in Canada can all travel over to attend it. Another reason to wait until next 

year.  

[PaDavid]

19 hours ago, rooster59 said:

We expected him to be nailed down already in a coffin.

How do you put nails into a cardboard hip sop (box corpse)?

[Rodjrin]

Do you wear condoms or use condoms?  I’m always sticking my nose in where it’s not wanted so, perhaps, I should wear a condom and a mask.

[lordblackader]

I don't know why some reports - including this, keep claiming that the Frenchman was denied entry for mocking the government. He was refused entry for insulting the monarchy. Not only was he told that by Immigration, you can see his content online (which I won't link to) that shows him doing so. 

[Mark mark]

Yes, we have had a LOT of those, short skirt Dancing Girls +++ now usually wearing a LOT of Feathers !!! … and tall head dresses ? … as well as Tights in their scanty areas, ... and well it never fails to impress me seeing them setting up the stage, that in Some of these troupes, the ? Dancing School girls ? making a bit of Cash, on the weekend ??? … Sometimes also build the stage ! and put up a lot of the Infrastructure !!! … Like Who needs Roadies, when you have a good and healthy Bunch of young Dancing Thai, Maidens, … who also can pick up and carry things, like trusses, and lighting booms amps and boxes around as well !!! ... … The men still do the Climbing though, and the Audio and Electrics I think. ... And well, they also dismantle and pack up the whole lot also ... a “Bump out” in theatrical terms !!! (Having done a few when I was young) … so well, I guess that "Bump In" is to set it up !!!

 

Yes Funerals, very hands on so to speak in Thailand ... I often get to help put the Decrease in to the new Diesel fired crematoriums !!! … If I know them !!! ... and well once got to take the Body soaked favored positions of an old woman, that I also was quite close to (Yes her Daughter was a Real beautiful and Dark, Smasher !!! Who I never have forgotten !!! And well her Daughters also who both both in their 30’s now, still very beutifull !!! But with their own kids now !!! … Like Life does, Go On !!!) …...

 

… Yes, I had to pick up their grandmothers body fluids soaked things !!! … After then had been in the coffin with her body for several days now !!! … from where they went Splat !!! as the Funeral Director ? ... Threw them out of the Coffin !!! before it went in to the fire box !!! ... … like to say that Young  Warn was bloody minded and Really Really Focused with his cane knife, and coconuts, as he got the bodies ready and then burnt them, would be a great understatement !!! ... Like he once showed me how to manage the burning of a corps ... so that .. .well yes you get the whole lot to BE burnt !!! Right ? ... and well 2 bottles of Lao Cow ... and I asked him the Poignant Question ??? "So Warn, where do you think we go when we die" ??? … and I got an evil smile and a laugh !!! …. As he pointed over to the Crematorium, and then up at the Chimney !!! … And then replied with the obvious answer of course !!! …”Up the Chimney” !!! ...

 

Well wan is Dead now also .... (God bless the Land and men of Low Cow" ???) ... And yes we got the old ladies Favorite thing around the back of the Crematorium, and on to the small fire that had been build there !!! In time, so that they could be burnt at the same time (Plenty of kerro needed here as they were so soaked with Body fluids ... ) … so that they would arrive in Heaven ? Well where ever she was going !!! ??? … at the same time as she would !!! ... 

 

Yes her family WERE very happy that I had helped !!! … And were kid to me !!! … As I scrubbed and Scrubbed and scrubbed !!! in the Watts primitive toilets !!! … to try to get her Body juices off of my Hands !!! ...

 

Like they knew !!! … and well they were so happy that I had helped ..AND touched her Body Juices !!! …. Like,…. I had just become part of their family also !!!

 

…. and On On !!! recovering from Australia High Tech now !!! … Yes ... TP ..the Thai Pass !!! Only about a third year Uni level of Computer operation required and about 10 years on the job experience to do it !!! … Like re scan all of your documents as they have to be in .jpg format and not .pdf like most business people use ??? Like .jpg's take up a LOT less room I guess !!!

So maybe see you all soon some times !!! though !!! ??? Still Fingers crossed and may Be ??? as it always seems to go in TIT.

 

Mark mark !!!

[Kalasin Jo]

Thank you. A really good piece this week. Your opener is very moving and I completely agree that death is just that and the dead are, well, dead. Euphemisms for this really irritate me. And yes ,something I bang on about: these corpse parties in the sticks are rife with heavy drinking ( fine if no one else dies in consequence)  and open illegal gambling if the family permit it and they do more often than not. I've been to a few such parties and there are usually several Hi-Lo mats in play with many enthusiastic players. I wonder where they get the money from, I really do, as thousands of baht change hands after each suspense filled round. I guess alot of it just goes back and forth but.....Oh yes, I know, amateur or illegal professional loan sharks. The going interest rate being 10% per week the loan is outstanding, according to my wife, that is followed  with threats of harassment followed by violence if the hapless borrower does not cough up. Cars, gold, furniture, even land and houses have been lost this way. This is what needs stamping out, not talk of legal casinos for high rolling foreigners.

[Tropicalevo]

5 hours ago, jobsworth said:

Please tell us more.

 

The quick version.

Flew from Samui to Istanbul (via BKK) and then on to Adrasan (?) to a friend's house. Wife and I were originally booked to fly there the day after she died (in her sleep). Friends bought a peach tree as a memorial to her and we were going to put some ashes underneath it.

Searched on arrival in Istanbul and bags checked. 'what is this grey powder sir?'

Strip searched at check in for Adrasan.

Searched again when departing Istanbul for Birmingham and when I got to Birmingham - pulled over by customs yet again.

[Mike k]

My memories of a Thai funeral was my wife's after leaving the hospital her granddaughter went in the house to get something for the hospital to do her death certificate after which I found things missing from her pocket book but I let it go. I agreed to a Thai funeral even though my wife really wasn't a practicing buddest it was more for the family for 3 days it was we need more money need more money I finally had enough and told them that was it if they needed more they could provide it. When they actually did the cremation envelopes were handed to her daughter in law I had already been told that people would donate money to help out she was just going to keep it for her self but I had had enough and called her out on it 

[Marpa47]

Thank you dear Rooster for another great post.  Always feel the light behind every one.  Keeps me warm for another week.

[Mark mark]

15 hours ago, Mark mark said:

 

 

"Yes ... TP ..the Thai Pass !!! Only about a third year Uni level of Computer operation required and about 10 years on the job experience to do it !!! … Like re scan all of your documents as they have to be in .jpg format and not .pdf like most business people use ??? Like .jpg's take up a LOT less room I guess !!!

So maybe see you all soon some times !!! though !!! ??? Still Fingers crossed and may Be ??? as it always seems to go in TIT."

 

Mark mark !!!

Yes, the Thais have ? I think, ? also made it OK, in this TP website also I think ? ... (If it works for ME ! any way, as I am still waiting) ... but to specify the Documentation to be in simple .jpg format, not only saves space, but also lets people who do not have any larger computing and scanning / Printing facilities, just to photograph their documents with their Phone ? ... and then submit them on that ??? I guess???  ... Like making it more accessible to people who have limited Computing facilities and those who are traveling also ??? I guess ???