how many betrayed you ?

[connda]

31 minutes ago, pagallim said:

You can find similar on PornHub.

[The Hammer2021]

9 minutes ago, connda said:

My ex-wife lost custody of my daughter to me when my daughter was 11.
I paid my ex-wife custody up until my daughter was handed over to me by a court.
My ex-wife never paid me a cent.  Nothing.  Ever.  And I couldn't get WA state to move against her.  They needed me to provide her SSN to them? They were a government organization who collected support from me.  They had her SSN. 

So give it a ****ing break.  There are two sides to the lame story.  I don't want to hear it - it's total BS.

There as some men and women who drop the financial support of their children. 

Yes. Your story is heartbreaking but in my observation, conversely many men, farang men get married but continue their mongering and drinking lifestyles and treat their wives dreadfully because they have the economic power. Yes I do know of men who got milked and bilked by their smart Thai wives who used the kids as a bargaining chip. They wouldn't relinquish the kids until they'd got loads of money...But it's rarer than the casual misogyny of farang men

[connda]

52 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Number two, I came to Thailand to be with, she had forgotten to mention her American husband. (did she betray him or me? I was 100% faithful)

Did you meet my Thai wife?  She had a boyfriend for a while in CM about 11 years ago. I was like, "Go **** your brains out and let me know when it ends. I'll still be here."  It ended when the 'new farang BF' found out she had a husband.  After that, was I the picture of fidelity?  No.  With three marriage under my belt, all of which ended with the ex ****ing around, my definition of "fidelity" changed with the fourth wife taking a boyfriend.

When in Thailand?  And then - boom.  I'm a student of moral relativism.
Thai culture is about giks and mia nois.  Have I ever had a gik or mia noi?  No.  And never will.  That implies an emotional bond, and I can only maintain an emotional bond with one woman at a time. 
But when wifey took a boyfriend? (Fourth time's a charm).  All bets were now off. 
P2P
Pre-Covid, Thailand was a P2P playground.  At 70 I've lost my appetite for it.  Maybe. But after 4 marriages where every wife ****ed around on me? 
I stopped caring.

[sipi]

One. Dirty cheap smelly farang sl*t.

Then I discovered my Thai wife.

[connda]

29 minutes ago, The Hammer2021 said:

Yes. Your story is heartbreaking but in my observation, conversely many men, farang men get married but continue their mongering and drinking lifestyles and treat their wives dreadfully because they have the economic power. Yes I do know of men who got milked and bilked by their smart Thai wives who used the kids as a bargaining chip. They wouldn't relinquish the kids until they'd got loads of money...But it's rarer than the casual misogyny of farang men

@BritManToo et.al.

Have you ever considered that it's a mutually beneficial dance of willing partners?
I've built a life here now.  A rural estate on a rai of land with a home and guest house.  My non-liquid assets are sunk here.  And they are considerable. 
Look at my previous post.  I haven't had one wife who maintained marital fidelity - i.e. who didn't end up schlupping (bonking, screwing, etc) some other guy.  Like Britmantoo, I never screwed around on my wives.  But there comes a point in time where you need to be honest that fidelity and infidelity are moral norms that aren't exactly practice by the "fairer sex", especially in Thailand, while claiming that all men are promiscuous p***ks. 
That is not my observation!

So I believe in moral relativism now.  After all four wives taking on sex partners?  Nobody in their right minds can preach to me now.  Don't even try.  Your opinion of me will mean nothing to me.  I don't care what "you" think.

And honestly - it's just so much friction and a passing pleasurable moment. 
If it's not emotional - really - who should care? It took me four wives to figure this out. 

Had my first (or second, or third) wife not strayed?  I'd still be married to them?  The fourth wife?  I'd already seen it three times.  I understood how it played out.

Edited December 17, 2021 by connda

[The Hammer2021]

13 minutes ago, connda said:

@BritManToo et.al.

Have you ever considered that it's a mutually beneficial dance of willing partners?
I've built a life here now.  A rural estate on a rai of land with a home and guest house.  My non-liquid assets are sunk here.  And they are considerable. 
Look at my previous post.  I haven't had one wife who maintained marital fidelity - i.e. who didn't end up schlupping (bonking, screwing, etc) some other guy.  Like Britmantoo, I never screwed around on my wives.  But there comes a point in time where you need to be honest that fidelity and infidelity are moral norms that aren't exactly practice by the "fairer sex", especially in Thailand, while claiming that all men are promiscuous p***ks. 
That is not my observation!

So I believe in moral relativism now.  After all four wives taking on sex partners?  Nobody in their right minds can preach to me now.  Don't even try.  Your opinion of me will mean nothing to me.  I don't care what "you" think.

And honestly - it's just so much friction and a passing pleasurable moment. 
If it's not emotional - really - who should care? It took me four wives to figure this out. 

Had my first (or second, or third) wife not strayed?  I'd still be married to them?  The fourth wife?  I'd already seen it three times.  I understood how it played out.

I am aware of the symbiotic nature of some relationships. But because  Thais can't judge farang class and cultural backgrounds they often end up with real rotters and find out too late.

[connda]

2 minutes ago, The Hammer2021 said:

I am aware of the symbiotic nature of some relationships. But because  Thais can't judge farang class and cultural backgrounds they often end up with real rotters and find out too late.

And I can agree with you there.  But it works the other way too. 
The 'betrayed' can be men or women.  Claiming one is worst than the other is ignorance.

[The Hammer2021]

Just now, connda said:

And I can agree with you there.  But it works the other way too. 
The 'betrayed' can be men or women.  Claiming one is worst than the other is ignorance.

But here the men can visit the family and judge her background and character. Thai girls have to take a lot on trust. One of my friends knew nothing about the British class system and had no idea she had married a low class, uneducated pikey mummies boy until she ended it up in council house dominated by a slap MIL..

[actonion]

Early in the year my wife ran off with a local policeman, a few month later i was involved in a high speed car chase   when they finally stopped me they asked why i was running from them, i told them my wife had run off with  one of their colleagues and i thought they were bring her back  lol

[Kwasaki]

Well my first marriage the consensus is we were too young. 

2nd dumped me when she got pregnant so I kinda just got chosen as a sperm bank. 

The 3rd was just the same as all marriages in my book Hell's & Bells & Poetry for the first 3 months then back to running the the family business.

The 4th a retirement plan that has worked out well. 

[Tippaporn]

1 hour ago, connda said:

The last one.  And seriously betrayed.  I completely supported her from the day we married.  I funded and supported her business adventures.  Then when she decided to go back to uni I gave her a full "free-ride" scholarship.  Because the program she was taking wasn't offered where we live, I moved her to a different city to complete the last two years of her degree. 
She graduated at a time when my own company was downsizing starting with senior staff (as they hired college grads to take our place - poorly - the company was seriously hacked 2 years after I left - boo hoo).  So my own job was looking iffy.  So she comes back home after graduation - to pack.  "I'm in love with another man."  She'd been schulping her "study mate and lab partner" for most of those two years away and then very purposefully milked me while assuring fidelity in our marriage. 
This from a "good Southern Baptist" gal who was near evangelical.  And yet, when a younger stud appears who promises that together they can make a wealthier life  - well, it's history.  That good Southern Baptist Christian gal loves - "stuff."  Mammon.  Lot's of nice "stuff."  I couldn't supply enough "stuff" even though I was raking in some serious jack.  So now her and her new hubby working together in the same hospital, pulling down some very serious money from day one - she had it all now.  Huge house, lots and lots of stuff.  And a "True Christian Husband" (a church-goer) who together with her could purchase more and more - Stuff!. 
Me?  Lost my job three months later.  Great timing on their part as I was 55 and vested - took my retirement challenged soon to be Ex to attempt a claim in court.  She didn't 
Then - I traveled.  It was a blessing.  Retiring at 55.  Anyone who works until they are in their later year need to have their heads examined. 
So yeah - she ****** me.  And ultimately I thank her for it.  She freed me.

A blessing in disguise?  A silver lining in every dark cloud?  I'm an ardent believer in those concepts (truths for me).

One of my favourite songs from when I was just entering the game way back.  It's not about a guy who was married but had a girlfriend betray him.  It's a great tune that reminds one that things which initially appear to be most unfortunate are more often than not blessings in disguise.

Leo Kottke with his cover of Tom T. Hall's Pamela Brown off of his '74 Ice Water album.  Can you recognize some Pamela Brown's in your life?
 

 

[NanLaew]

2 hours ago, Pravda said:

Seriously none. Thai women have been really good to me. Western women have been a bit of feminists and over the top, but none betrayed me. As a Serb, however, I can honestly say that Serbian women are just plain horrible. My guess is it's the same with Russian/Ukrainian women or pretty much any Slavic women. True gold-diggers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah... but I hear they're like mad in the sack.

[473geo]

I was a party animal for 30+ years relationships lasted as long as the girlfriends could put up with it! So over time I guess breakups were largely down to me ????

When I finally calmed down and became more relaxed without a beer in me, it happened to coincide with meeting my current wife 

Just lucky I guess ????

 

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, connda said:

She had a boyfriend for a while in CM about 11 years ago.

That was when I was with the Thai lady/American Husband combo 2009.

But I doubt it's you as she ended up running him over with her car, then reporting him for overstay.

He was deported on crutches.

She ended up marrying a retired Brit policeman.

 

PS.

My Brit wife was the 'red pill' fantasy, young Christian virgin schoolteacher.

Didn't stop her cheating, or lying under oath in court, adultery, bearing false witness.

Guess the 10 commandments only apply to Christian men.

(Mine was a Methodist, not a Baptist)

 

 

Edited December 17, 2021 by BritManToo

[zzaa09]

3 hours ago, Gottfrid said:

Oh dear! Men talking about being betrayed, when it´s mostly men that goes with other young girls and betrays their wife in Thailand. But, hey! Most of them have a perfectly good excuse, or just believe it´s a mans right to do that.

Yep. The convoluted irony tends to be missed. 

The fault or blame always lies upon them......never us.

Of course.

[connda]

1 hour ago, The Hammer2021 said:

But here the men can visit the family and judge her background and character. Thai girls have to take a lot on trust. One of my friends knew nothing about the British class system and had no idea she had married a low class, uneducated pikey mummies boy until she ended it up in council house dominated by a slap MIL..

I believe you miss the subtleties of Thai culture in its baser forms.
I haven't lived in a "farang" community since 2011.  I live in rural Thailand.  There ain't no other white folk or foreigners out here.
I do understand how it works, not how someone from another country believes it works.  Chose to disagree?  That's fine.  Don't try to convince me that there is a Thai reality that I don't already grasp first-hand and up-close and personal.  I see how it works - in reality - out in upcountry Thailand. 

[The Hammer2021]

For biological reasons and the very nature of reproduction its a fact that men can, do and have done for ever...run away leaving women behind. In the physical, biological power relationship of reproduction women are more frail, can't run, can't fight and then after giving birth have emotional dependancy issues making them dependent on men and thus subject, historicaly to betrayal, abuse and neglect. It's a man's world...

 

[connda]

30 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

But I doubt it's you as she ended up running him over with her car, then reporting him for overstay.

You're right.  She doesn't drive.  ????

[bkk6060]

Got married and divorced young and decided not to do it again or take any of it too seriously.

Western women are by far the worst in my opinion because the laws are in their favor.

Alimony and child support can wipe guys out instantly know several friends who woke up one day and the spouse told them "I am not happy I am leaving" resulting in emotional/financial ruin.  Retirements, investments, houses liquidated in the females favor.  

 

Betrayal may be right around the corner for anyone.  If married hope you all have a pre-nup which are legally issued in Thailand or most western countries.  If not, good luck.

 

[The Hammer2021]

5 minutes ago, connda said:

I believe you miss the subtleties of Thai culture in its baser forms.
I haven't lived in a "farang" community since 2011.  I live in rural Thailand.  There ain't no other white folk or foreigners out here.
I do understand how it works, not how someone from another country believes it works.  Chose to disagree?  That's fine.  Don't try to convince me that there is a Thai reality that I don't already grasp first-hand and up-close and personal.  I see how it works - in reality - out in upcountry Thailand. 

Yep. By living in a Thai village for 11 years you know more about relationships than everybody else and have nothing to learn from anybody about anything. That would account for the successful and happy path you have negotiated for yourself...lol

[The Hammer2021]

3 minutes ago, connda said:

You're right.  She doesn't drive.  ????

Top answer!!!

[connda]

31 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

PS.

My Brit wife was the 'red pill' fantasy, young Christian virgin schoolteacher.

Didn't stop her cheating, or lying under oath in court, adultery, bearing false witness.

Guess the 10 commandments only apply to Christian men.

(Mine was a Methodist, not a Baptist)

You completely understand! 
I love the "Get Out Of Jail Free Card!"

If you are a Christian you aren't perfect!  You're forgiven.

That excuses all.  <laughs>  No wonder I'm Buddhist. 

[Adumbration]

The results of this poll are utterly meaningless.

 

There might be some utility if the title of the thread was:

 

How many betrayed you and you found out?

[BritManToo]

Just now, The Hammer2021 said:

Yep. By living in a Thai village for 11 years you know more about relationships than everybody else and have nothing to learn from anybody about anything. That would account for the successful and happy path you have negotiated for yourself...lol

I've lived in a middle class Thai gated community.

Fist fights in the street between husband and wife.

Wife rushing off to a short time hotel after she was tipped off husband there with a girl.

Rich guy paying girls 10kbht a go in Karaoke bars.

Beyond my wildest imaginings.

 

Before Thailand I led a very sheltered life.

[connda]

6 minutes ago, The Hammer2021 said:

For biological reasons and the very nature of reproduction its a fact that men can, do and have done for ever...run away leaving women behind. In the physical, biological power relationship of reproduction women are more frail, can't run, can't fight and then after giving birth have emotional dependancy issues making them dependent on men and thus subject, historicaly to betrayal, abuse and neglect. It's a man's world...

 

I will not disagree with you there.  There is truth to that.
But - although a minority - there are women who have a child and ditch the child and the father.  With all the above being true for them. 

To claim that it's only a "man thing" is tosh. And I really am tire of it as I raised my daughter with **** for support from my ex-wife at a time I should have collected public assistance, but both my daughter and I - jointly - forged a path alone. With me?  A full-time student in university and working a side job to keep food on the table. 

I get the struggle.  It's not limited to women.

[connda]

7 minutes ago, The Hammer2021 said:

ep. By living in a Thai village for 11 years you know more about relationships than everybody else and have nothing to learn from anybody about anything

Yep.

[Hummin]

So far did not get anything I Didn't deserve!

One who found a new one, and was out the door next day by me. But to be true,  the marriage was already a dead end and have always wanted to shake his hand and say thank you for releasing my pain.

[The Hammer2021]

2 hours ago, connda said:

Did you meet my Thai wife?  She had a boyfriend for a while in CM about 11 years ago. I was like, "Go **** your brains out and let me know when it ends. I'll still be here."  It ended when the 'new farang BF' found out she had a husband.  After that, was I the picture of fidelity?  No.  With three marriage under my belt, all of which ended with the ex ****ing around, my definition of "fidelity" changed with the fourth wife taking a boyfriend.

When in Thailand?  And then - boom.  I'm a student of moral relativism.
Thai culture is about giks and mia nois.  Have I ever had a gik or mia noi?  No.  And never will.  That implies an emotional bond, and I can only maintain an emotional bond with one woman at a time. 
But when wifey took a boyfriend? (Fourth time's a charm).  All bets were now off. 
P2P
Pre-Covid, Thailand was a P2P playground.  At 70 I've lost my appetite for it.  Maybe. But after 4 marriages where every wife ****ed around on me? 
I stopped caring.

Great story...at 11 years old I decided I didn't want kids and at 18 didn't want marriage...

[4MyEgo]

4 hours ago, CharlieH said:

I was curious as to how many men here have been "betrayed" by their partner in previous relationships ?

I am fortunate to have never experienced betrayal from a partner, long or short term, albeit I have experienced other pains from the "magic of love" having being in relationships, this of course was due to me being star struck and you learn as you grow.

 

To ease ones pain when one ends those relationships, one always refers to the words of the late Alfred Lord Tennyson to sooth his pain, "it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all".

 

Even those his words were for a friend who passed away, it is still befitting to sooth ones short sufferings while he looks back and reflects how lucky he was to have exited those relationships for the happiness he has found over for the past 15 years in his final relationship, till death due us part Tiruk.

 

Edited December 17, 2021 by 4MyEgo

[TooBigToFit]

Only leaders have betrayed me.