How do Thai women compare with Western women as a wife?

[Henk Langeweg]

Thai women manage to maintain there childishness, even doctors or other educated women

giggle as a happy child when something funny happends. Most of them are the sunshine in the house ...

[10baht]

4 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Sex is not a bargaining tool, I think for her it is like having a good meal.

What a soft ball, but I don't think I can hit it out of the park in this forum. ????

[sambum]

5 hours ago, vandeventer said:

It really doesn't  matter where they come from. You have to pick the right one,[ married twice to Thai's but still looking for the right one].

I was married twice to Western wives, and am now married to a Thai after a long relationship (11 years - now been together 14 years), and I can honestly say I've never been happier. There is a big age difference between us, but that  has never seemed to matter, whereas in the UK the women say age doesn't matter, but in reality it does. ("Old enough to be her father!" etc)

 

Also, we still have a lot of fun, and make each other laugh a lot - a friend of mine in the UK said a long time ago if you want to get a girl to fancy you - make her laugh (and before somebody says it - not at you, but with you!) in which I find a lot of truth!

[Sheryl]

10 minutes ago, Nickelbeer said:

It's hit and miss, just like any marriage.  I have avoided hookers in the six years I have lived in Thailand and have noticed that regular women with full-time jobs are just as untrustworthy as bar girls. Your experience may be different. Perhaps I just have lousy taste in women. ????

 

I think the problem is not any intrinsic quality of Thai women per se but that it is much harder to gauge someone across a cultural divide. You aren't attuned to the signals that would be immediately obvious to a Thai person.  It is also much easier to project qualities that aren't really there on someone from a different culture. Google "anima projection" - it operates most strongly/persists longest  with objects of different races and cultures.

 

Add to this that there is a subset of Thai women specifically aiming to get a foreign BF or husband and these are often not the best people/have dubious motives (not always, but often). They are obviously the Thai women easiest for farangs to meet as they will take the initiative in approaching farang men and will have acquired at least some English-speaking capacity, but they are not typical of all Thai women and one would often do better to avoid them and seek out those who are a bit harder to meet. I find that many farang men's entire experience of Thai women is limited to this actually very atypical subset.

 

The best solutions are to

1) avoid the women who seem to be cruising for a farang (same principle as ignoring the offers of a "taxi" inside the airport) - take the time and trouble to meet ordinary Thai women who are not doing that; 

2) move slowly, taking time to really get to know someone first, and do not rely at all on your initial impressions; beware of seeing what you want to see;

3) "vet" prospective partners with a reliable Thai friend. They will see things you may not.

 

 

[KanchanaburiGuy]

I've had two wives, one "Western," one Thai. 

 

"Western" wife:

 

Married 10 years. I was blissfully, stupidly happy. Very comfortable, very easy, never fought or argued. But she spent money like a drunken sailor; ran up credit cards which we constantly struggled to pay. Managed to spend $400/mo more than we earned, for 10 years. (I'm bizarrely proud/embarrassed about this! 555)

 

Discovered upon divorce proceedings the 3 or 4 credit cards she had acquired secretly, having the bills mailed to her work, rather than to the house. (A trick she learned from her mother, who used to do the same!) "Overspending" = 50% us... 10% me... 40% her. 

 

I am mostly a take-life-as-it-comes kind of person, but she wanted more. More everything. So while I was cruising along blissfully, stupidly happy..... she was growing more miserable by the year. She wound up cheating....... and blaming me! 555 

 

Divorced, sold the condo. Profits from the condo paid off 80% of the joint debt. 2 years later, I had paid off "my half" of the remainder, and she was considering bankruptcy. She made almost exactly twice as much money as I did, and was sharing her expenses with her live-in boyfriend/fiance (later husband.) 555

 

10 years later, I was still saying I'd marry her again in a heartbeat. 555

 

Thai wife:

 

I spend two-thirds of my time being unhappy and avoiding my wife. She's constantly trying to be domineering and controlling. She complains about everything. EVERYTHING! Have you seen those screeching shrews that seem to populate so many Thai Dramas? That's my wife! 555 Don't say it when you can yell it! 

 

We fight, man o man, do we fight! (Verbally only, of course!) We fight over stupid things. She calls me rude names and I call her rude names. It is a life of constant tension. 

 

She is considered fairly wealthy by Thai standards; she needs no money from me. But I still contribute far more than what it costs for me to be here. She abhors debt, so she stays away from it faithfully, except for occasional "10-month, 0% interest" purchases.  But those are always well covered by pension income we never really touch, anyway. 

 

On the other hand, one-third of the time, I'm really happy I'm married to this woman! She really does care about me, and I care about her. And when she's not screeching at me? She can be very sweet and tender! 555

 

With my first wife---my "Western" wife---I always used to describe myself as a 4-to-6 person: I never got too high (9-10) and I never got to low (1-2). Everything was copacetic! (There's a good 70s word for ya! 555)

 

Now, my life is full of 1s and 2s, 9s and 10s! I only find the 4s, 5s & 6s when I go off on my own!

 

My first marriage ended with my "Western" wife being a cheat and divorce. This one looks like it will last until the end! ('til death do us part, I mean.) 

 

In life, you gotta take the bad with the good. And sometimes, when the QUANTITY doesn't seem to balance out the way you'd like, the QUALITY will STILL tip the scales in your favor. That's what I've got now. 

 

Two Marriages. Two very different kinds of women. Two very different kinds of problems plaguing the marriages: A blissfully happy failure... AND... an angst-ridden success!

 

And the one constant that's been there through all of this... has been me! 

 

Oh....... DAMN! 

 

555

555

Edited February 18, 2022 by KanchanaburiGuy

[trainman34014]

3 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I like small women, always have.

If you think about it, they do have advantages not achievable by larger women. Not that I can talk about them on a family-oriented forum.

Yeah; you can stand your Beer Glass on their head while they.....................!

[oslooskar]

Thai women make better wives than Western women because they are not at war with men and do not regard masculinity as a disease that must be cured.

[hanuman2543]

4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Issan is 60% of the Thai population, so hardly surprising there's so many around.

From Wikipedia:

Isan's total population as of 2010 was 21,305,000. Forty percent of the population is concentrated in the provinces of Khorat, Ubon Ratchathani, Udon Thani, and Khon Kaen, known as "big four of Isan"

To me it looks more like 30%.

[wwest5829]

4 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I like small women, always have.

If you think about it, they do have advantages not achievable by larger women. Not that I can talk about them on a family-oriented forum.

So, we were working with friends in the Czech Republic. Friends were driving my colleague somewhere when one on them asked my colleague, “is it true that Bill likes little girls”? (You see they wanted to invite us to a picnic but the Czechs all had young Daughters. My colleague laughed as explained the what was meant was referring to “petite ladies”. Satisfied they no longer needed to question my motivations! And now? Retired in Thailand where my wife was 37 kilos when we met.

[bougnat]

That they already learn to eat properly by closing their mouths... we will discuss the rest

 

 

[Norvabc]

Thai ladies still have traditional values, of course one has to provide in any situation and we have good and bad in all people. But at the end of the day in my opinion Thai women don't have that Media generated dispise, that continued belittlement for men as most western women do. The role of the genders are more traditional. 

[Hummin]

4 minutes ago, wwest5829 said:

So, we were working with friends in the Czech Republic. Friends were driving my colleague somewhere when one on them asked my colleague, “is it true that Bill likes little girls”? (You see they wanted to invite us to a picnic but the Czechs all had young Daughters. My colleague laughed as explained the what was meant was referring to “petite ladies”. Satisfied they no longer needed to question my motivations! And now? Retired in Thailand where my wife was 37 kilos when we met.

My back pack was more heavy in the army!

[malthebluff]

This is like comparing pet dogs . My dog in the uk was loving and caring and would die for me. and  my dog here is exactly the same loving and caring but theres always the chance they can bite you 

[spidermike007]

3 hours ago, rumeaug said:

"Western women". So all in one pack? Wow...lazy article.. a spanish woman is nothing like a German woman, who is nothing like a French who is nothing like a....etc...etc...

European friends of mine would disagree. They tell me nearly all of Europe has bought into "me too" and toxic masculinity. Supposedly the UK, France and Sweden are the worst. Woe is the West. Woe are the men who have to spend their lives there, dealing with tough, controlling, difficult women. 

 

Let us be thankful for the wise decisions we have made! 

[spidermike007]

33 minutes ago, wwest5829 said:

So, we were working with friends in the Czech Republic. Friends were driving my colleague somewhere when one on them asked my colleague, “is it true that Bill likes little girls”? (You see they wanted to invite us to a picnic but the Czechs all had young Daughters. My colleague laughed as explained the what was meant was referring to “petite ladies”. Satisfied they no longer needed to question my motivations! And now? Retired in Thailand where my wife was 37 kilos when we met.

In the US, they would likely pick up some of the 37-43 kilo beauties here, and rush them to the hospital, and out them on an IV drip.

 

So many of the women there are so big, they have essentially banned the use of the word fat. Or fattie. Or gynormous. 

[spidermike007]

1 hour ago, Henk Langeweg said:

Thai women manage to maintain there childishness, even doctors or other educated women

giggle as a happy child when something funny happends. Most of them are the sunshine in the house ...

Good point. Every day with my Thai wife is a very good day. She is the same lovely woman from one day to the next. She has a smile on her face when she wakes up in the morning. Never experienced that in the states. Some Thais manifest that unbearable lightness of being, that is so delightful to be around. I cannot really get enough of that spirit, and feel so blessed to be around that, and to have found such a well adjusted and delightful creature. 

 

In the US, nearly everyone I know in the states tells me that their wives do not try as hard, once they are married. That the motivation to be all they can be just sort of disappears. I can see if for myself. They often do not seem the same as they were before. And this especially applies once the kids are born, though that might happen here, to some extent too. Fortunately, I do not know about that part of the equation.

 

For some reason, the cultural differences allow the women here to be a greater version of themselves. Does that make sense? I realize if you are a Western woman, it is not easy reading this stuff. And certainly this does not apply to everyone, either here or there. Some in the west are just exceptional, and capable to rising against the tide. But, it does apply to most, from my point of view.

Edited February 18, 2022 by spidermike007

[Chelseafan]

7 hours ago, fredscats said:

All down to money...or lack of it

Well that can be said for both Thai and western women...

 

[spidermike007]

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

It is Alot of pressure for a Thai girl to prove how good daughter she is, and everyone have a different take on it.

 

Quite happy with the family here, not stupid shameless bragging or showing off, do not drink, do not gamble, like to work for money, so easy to help out when needed. 

 

No sin sod even she do not have kids or previous married. 

 

Have said it many times, when you choose a girl, you choose a family or the whole package. 

 

Know the family and know her friends, you know the girl!

Excellent point. I always say if you can't relate to, or don't like her family and friends, you are in for a rough ride. Take her for who she is, and who they are. Or not. But, don't try to change them. Change yourself, if you want to. And accept them. 

 

In my case, I lucked out. She has an amazing family. Hard working, honest, kind, ambitious and fun to be around. 

[Dont confuse me]

On my second Thai wife, no real problems one thing I have noticed with both of them is that they change for the better when out of Thailand.

That's influenced our decision to move to Europe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Hummin]

18 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

European friends of mine would disagree. They tell me nearly all of Europe has bought into "me too" and toxic masculinity. Supposedly the UK, France and Sweden are the worst. Woe is the West. Woe are the men who have to spend their lives there, dealing with tough, controlling, difficult women. 

 

Let us be thankful for the wise decisions we have made! 

Your friends based in Thailand, or in Europe with Asian lady? Most of the men I meet in Thailand as expats or sex tourists, do have the same view on Europe and europpeen women we mostly read on ASEAN or alike forums.

 

Very homogeneous opinions.

Edited February 18, 2022 by Hummin

[Chelseafan]

6 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

I shall ignore commenting on my first thieving dishonest Thai wife as it would make all Thai woman look very bad.

 

But my current Thai wife - and last one - is far better than any western wife/partner I have ever had. She always wants me looking nice, she sits down once a week to cut my finger and toe nails - western wife never did that, she'll take me to the hairdressers when she thinks its too long, she loves cooking for me to enjoy eating, rather than just cooking for me to eat ! She always encourages me with our daughter, she loves the garden - which I hate, she'll massage me when i ache, be fair she puts me first in her life above herself most times, even though I do not need her too.

 

That said, she seems to really struggle with me not wanting our 5 year old (near 6) in the bed still, and I get the old - 'its the thai way' thing. I know she would still like to go out dancing with her friends once in a while, and I am happy for her to do this as she comes back after enjoying herself - not looking for a new husband ! Most annoying fact about her is every time we get ready to go out or watch a movie she'll start doing something else, like cleaning the house or an odd job !

 

Overall, I'd say she is far better than a western wife as I feel wanted and taken care of rather than the spare leg of a western woman

 

Lastly, unlike some on here I feel confident about taking her back to the UK and her staying with me - me 57 and her 43. She's a mature teacher and not some 23 year old bar girl looking for a passport. Though I do ache for those young women days sometimes......just don't tell her

 

F@"k, we're married to the same woman ????

 

[smew]

How thick is your wallet...... 

[spidermike007]

7 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Your friends based in Thailand, or in Europe with Asian lady? Most of the men I meet in Thailand as expats or sex tourists, do have the same view on Europe and europpeen women we mostly read on ASEAN or alike forums.

 

Very homogeneous opinions.

Mostly friends from Europe living here. A few who live in Europe. Most are single. 

[bkk75]

Another yearly troll article ...

 

How's this food for thought ThaiVisa...do a better article on cultural differences and how to accumulate. 

[hanuman2543]

4 hours ago, bobandyson said:

. . .and PlayStations.

You talk to your PlayStation? Weird.

[Lacessit]

2 hours ago, Sheryl said:

 

 

 

The best solutions are to

1) avoid the women who seem to be cruising for a farang (same principle as ignoring the offers of a "taxi" inside the airport) - take the time and trouble to meet ordinary Thai women who are not doing that; 

2) move slowly, taking time to really get to know someone first, and do not rely at all on your initial impressions; beware of seeing what you want to see;

3) "vet" prospective partners with a reliable Thai friend. They will see things you may not.

 

 

IME, many Thai women who want a relationship with a farang  are that way, because they know they will be treated better than by the average Thai male. I've lost count of the number of women who have begged me to find one of my friends who would like to hook up with them. Usually, they are in their forties and fifties, and have been discarded by Thai men who then pursue younger women. They are usually quite adamant they don't want a relationship with a Thai man again.

 

#2 is very sound advice. It is very easy for an older foreigner to be hypnotized by the beauty and grace of Thai women, without getting to know them properly. I know the family history of my GF very well, and it was two years before I committed to providing support. I have never regretted

that decision.

 

I've found it does help a lot to be reasonably competent in Thai. I fail to understand foreigners who refuse to learn any Thai, to me it's like walking around blindfolded in the Louvre.

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, malthebluff said:

This is like comparing pet dogs . My dog in the uk was loving and caring and would die for me. and  my dog here is exactly the same loving and caring but theres always the chance they can bite you 

Comparing women to dogs? Misogynist much?

[off road pat]

Bu** shi*** article,...full of stereotypes,...."("Many Western wives meanwhile are obsessed with keeping up appearances")".... same goes for many Thai women,....Even more so !!! 

[sipi]

My first marriage is to my current Thai wife. It is both our first marriages. I was 43 with no baggage. I had a good secure job with good income.

After 43 years of embarrassing dates, knock backs, no returned phone calls, and all the other Western <deleted>; I met Tuk. Ok, I tend to be a bit socially awkward.

There was no bullsh*t, right from the start. She told it how it was, and still does.

And now we are both healthy, wealthy and wise.

I have no regrets, best thing I ever did.

 

[dunroaming]

10 hours ago, hellohello123 said:

One demand/expects money monthly 

The other takes it upon divorce

If you cheat on your western wife she will either take the "what's good for the goose" position or appoint a lawyer to file for divorce.

 

If you cheat on your Thai wife she will either drug you and cut off your wedding tackle or have you shot.  Which is cheap enough in the land of smiles.

 

I know this because that is what my wife has told me, several times actually.