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Opinion: It is time Thais end the practice of demanding dowries from prospective spouses


webfact

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6 hours ago, baansgr said:

It's a money making scam....

And it's been going for years, it's funny how the Thai's like take all the good[ for them] things from other countries. This one comes from India and  it has been there for centuries. A guy in my village had 2 girls that where getting married 1 went for 4 baht of gold and the other went for just 2 baht of gold. It seems the dowry here is based only on looks.

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sod:

 

What is a sod English slang?
 
 
 
 
Is sod an insult?
 
 
It means a bit of impacted soil, or the soil where it lies. It is also an insult, being short for 'sodomite'. Literally from “sodomite" but used to mean someone pathetic (“You poor old sod!)
 
sin:

People also ask

 
 
 
What is the real meaning of sin?
 
 
Definition of sin

(Entry 1 of 4) 1a : an offense against religious or moral law. b : an action that is or is felt to be highly reprehensible it's a sin to waste food. c : an often serious shortcoming : fault.
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6 hours ago, Hummin said:

That was the first I asked my gf mother about, what she expected from me! 
 

Nope, if you follow tradition, a uneducated woman passed 28, 30, 32 years, divorced, have history, and kids, zero sin sod. End of discussion. Better to clear that question befor you get to connected. 
 

 

I agree 100% I have lived here in Pattaya 13 yrs. & now living in Buriram for 1 yr.

I have been married at the Amphur ( Legal Marriage ) 3 times & divorced twice, wives ages 39, 40, & 44, always refused to pay Sin Sot, they had all been married before to Thai men who paid sin Sot.

I always said not paying for second hand wife ha,ha,ha,  and I am not a " Cheap Charlie" it's just the principle of buying a wife that I don't agree with.

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10 minutes ago, overherebc said:

If someone met a hooker (bar girl)? in uk  usa or eu would you

1 Think about getting married to her?

2 Give her parents a lump of cash?

Just askin'.

I think that is a difficult question!

 

Most Thais or Thai women who search up foreigners already crossed a line. So who to judge?

 

Not same, but would you buy drinks all night to a random lady in Europe and take her home? You know she do it almost every weekend, go out with her friends and quite often go home with a guy! She do it because she wants to and need it. 

 

Then some Thai girls work bar, and go once and awhile with a customer, some do more long time, like holiday gf, and some do mostly short time. Some do both. 

 

A man who use the uppertunity to go with bar girls, is he better than the bar girl he barfined?

 

There is good girls and there is bad girls. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Just say you are happy to pay one million Baht, but they have to pay two millions to your family as it is the culture there, and to make it easy, they can just pay one million directly.

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22 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I think that is a difficult question!

 

Most Thais or Thai women who search up foreigners already crossed a line. So who to judge?

 

Not same, but would you buy drinks all night to a random lady in Europe and take her home? You know she do it almost every weekend, go out with her friends and quite often go home with a guy! She do it because she wants to and need it. 

 

Then some Thai girls work bar, and go once and awhile with a customer, some do more long time, like holiday gf, and some do mostly short time. Some do both. 

 

A man who use the uppertunity to go with bar girls, is he better than the bar girl he barfined?

 

There is good girls and there is bad girls. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If may have skipped your  attention but women like sex as much as men do. 

Too many men firmly believe on a night out, in uk/usa/eu, the woman they talked to on a night out and went home with them is all down to their smooth chat and that they are irresistible. It's because the woman wanted a 'bit' as well.

If hard cash for it enters the arena she's a 'hooker'.

Edited by overherebc
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It really depends on the brides background. Upper middle class and upper class Thais do not normally expect the

groom to provide a dowry. So I think it's a quite a reasonable custom.vv:

 

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The demand, which the future wife’s family is non-negotiable is in the tens of millions of baht and is “deserved compensation” according to the elders (pooyai) involved.
 

LOL! Now that’s A LOT of lady drinks and short-times.

 

I for sure know what I would do.

Edited by khunpa
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19 minutes ago, overherebc said:

If may have skipped your  attention but women like sex as much as men do. 

Too many men firmly believe on a night out, in uk/usa/eu, the woman they talked to on a night out and went home with them is all down to their smooth chat and that they are irresistible. It's because the woman wanted a 'bit' as well.

If hard cash for it enters the arena she's a 'hooker'.

And you are a sex machine with cash? 

 

Sorry ????

 

 

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Call me old fashioned but i regard selling people as illegal and the courts seem to agree.

 

These days it's known as human trafficking and the days of this kind of thing are numbered around the world.

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I found this to be a very interesting subject as I was personally involved in a dowry dispute some 25 years ago. My fiancé’s father was on his deathbed at the time and never mentioned one, only asking me to take good care of his daughter which I promised to do. I have kept that oath for all of these years. The mother demanded the equivalent of 20,000 USD. I distinctly remember my response, “I want to marry your daughter, not buy her” and thus, the battle began. 
Eventually, I settled for around $5,000 so she could save face. The point here is that over the ensuing years I have contributed to her well being and that of our small Thai/American family in ways that far surpasses what that dowry would have done and the relationship is one of mutual affection and not that of a business deal. 

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8 minutes ago, Hummin said:

And you are a sex machine with cash? 

 

Sorry ????

 

 

Had my share and still got my cash.

Had a few hookers in Thailand as well, and yes I paid the going rate at the time.

Edited by overherebc
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8 hours ago, webfact said:

My friend is from a well-to-do family in Thailand and his extended family are fortunate enough to own industry and employ hundreds.

I want to marry a your daughter not buy her... would be my answer.

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9 minutes ago, maddermax said:

I agree with the sentiment. It is clearly parents selling their daughters.

I married an educated Thai girl 30 years ago having paid GBP2,500 for the privilege. She stole from me and my company. When she walked out with our daughter then asked to come back I declined the kind offer.

We eventually divorced. I asked the parents to return the dowry but got no response. I think I got the better deal in the end!

Marriage, eh? Cut out the middleman - find someone you hate and give them a house....

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7 hours ago, sleepwalker999 said:

Stupid tradition that only seems to be carried out by idiotic hi-so families and the ultra-conservative lot.

Not so. far more prevalant amongst the poos Isaan families.  Generally the girls mother takes the cash part of the dowry and allows the dughter to have the 2/3 bt of gold. In better families, the dowry is just for show, and the money paid is returned to the happy couple, tohelp them to cmmence their married lfe together..............AS IT SHOULD BE!

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Rich men marry; poor men cohabit.

 

The Thais have invented a word called "faen" with the objective to blur the line between legal spouse and sex buddy.  It clears the way for socially acceptable cohabitation.   Thai men do not need to marry; only foreigners who wish to have a legal spouse sponsor his VISA will need an official marriage certificate.  The dowry (sinsoot) is designed to scam this group of VISA applicants who intend to piggyback on their legal spouses.

 

 

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