Age Gap Relationships... in the Later Years? (Opinions/Experiences Sought)

[BangkokReady]

So, Thailand is the land of large age-gap relationships.  Not that they don't happen back home, but they are typically the reserve of the wealthy (where they get little judgement for some reason, because if the guy is rich and famous he can do what he wants without question).

 

I think the reasons they are more common in Thailand are probably fairly clear.  Money is a lot more of a factor in marriage, there is less judgement or stigma attached to an age-gap, older people are more respected in Thailand, differences in income levels make them more attractive, once women are divorced or have babies no Thai man wants them, abuse/violence, and so on.

 

I don't really think there is much point getting into questions of morality.  I think that is mostly addressed by the reasons laid out above.  If everyone is OK with it, then what is the harm?  (I realise there will always be someone who has a problem with it, but I guess if everyone is happy and consenting, who cares?)

 

What I'm asking about here, is what happens when the man (who is normally going to be the older partner) gets very old?

 

Let's say there's a 20 year age-gap.  Not unusual in Thailand, but fairly uncommon back home.  Certainly an amount of time where the difference in life stages is fairly pronounced.

 

20-40: The girl is obviously still pretty young, the man not so much, but they can still have fun, get married, have children, have a healthy amount of sex.  (You can see the attraction of an older man, serious about a relationship, already established, etc..)

 

30-50: Probably a slight decline in sex, the woman is more mature, both getting on with raising kids and living a happy life, hopefully.

 

40-60: The man is probably looking a lot more like an "old man" now, maybe not too bad if he stays in shape, but father time waits for no man.  The woman, having had children and maybe approaching, or in the throws of, the menopause is probably starting to look a little older now also.  Even Asian women start to age a little.  Hopefully, due to the changes that the woman has gone through, the sex is still satisfactory for both parties, things might have slowed down though.  But then, after twenty years together and maybe a couple of kids, even if they were the same age things probably would have slowed down a fair amount.

 

50-70: The man has to be old now, right?  Maybe no sex drive?  Serious health problems?  What about the woman?  Still feeling young and frisky?  Seeking out something with a younger guy on the side?  Isn't there some quote about a crippled old guy, siting in his wheel chair, listening to his younger wife have sex with another man?

 

Obviously the upshot of this is that it's typically OK for the man as he presumably has sex until he no longer wants it, yet the same might not be true for the woman.  What about with just being together.  A 20 and a 40 year old walking down the street hand in hand might raise a few eyebrows, but how about a 50 year old and a 70 year old?

 

So, what do you think?

 

These are just some random thoughts/concerns.  The reality might be totally different for many, so if you think I have it wrong, please tell me.

 

Any ideas, thoughts, disagreements, etc., welcomed.  Just my ideas and would love to hear what other people think, or have experienced.

[Maha Sarakham]

Every situation is different, I've seen some 60 year old men that look 40 and vice-versa.

[Gottfrid]

1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

So, what do you think?

You tink too mutt!

[impulse]

Whatever you do, pick one that's had kids.  She'll know how to change a diaper when that time comes.

[Whale]

Your theory is based too much on sexual ability at a given age. You are a fool who has fallen for the western crapola..... money (handsome) /honey (distadvantaged eastern lady who has a heart of gold). If you are comfortable with the equation then more power to you, fill your pants (no pun intended).

[NanLaew]

1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

Isn't there some quote about a crippled old guy, siting in his wheel chair, listening to his younger wife have sex with another man?

That's not a quote, that's me.

 

Don't knock it until you've tried it.

[Mac Mickmanus]

1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

Let's say there's a 20 year age-gap.  Not unusual in Thailand, but fairly uncommon back home. 

Among the Thai population, 20-30 year age differences are also uncommon , Thais generally partner up with people of a similar age .

   Its mainly Western/Thai partnerships where theres a big age difference .

[OneMoreFarang]

For me it seems the big question is how old was the girl when they started the relationship. The most extreme I know is a guy who started a relationship with an 18 year old girl when he was already over 70. Yes, he puts something in her pension fund every month and she will have enough money in the future.

But the "funny" part is they seem to be happy together. At least before Covid I saw them often enough, for hours at a time, and I never got the impression that she didn't love him. And I get that impression often with other guys and their younger girlfriends.

I also started my relationship when my gf was young. And we are now together since many many years. No problem.

 

My advice to any guy who likes it is that he should look for a 20 year old girl - not 20 years difference. The important part is the age, not the difference. I.e. if a 50 year old guy starts a relationship with a 30 year old woman then she has, roughly speaking, at least 10 years of sexual and adult life experience. She is formed in many ways and it will be difficult to change her ways.

If a guy from any age is the first boyfriend of an 18 year old girl that is a very different situation. She does not have lots of life experience and she does likely not have much ballast. A big part of the dynamic is that he is her first boyfriend. Most girls continue to love their first boyfriend - at least if he is not an a@$hole. 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

Among the Thai population, 20-30 year age differences are also uncommon , Thais generally partner up with people of a similar age .

   Its mainly Western/Thai partnerships where theres a big age difference .

What do you mean with partner up?

I.e. they are married to a person of their own age and then they have one or several younger mia nois? That seems to be common for guys who can afford it.

[NanLaew]

26 minutes ago, impulse said:

Whatever you do, pick one that's had kids.  She'll know how to change a diaper when that time comes.

[GrandPapillon]

I know a few guys in their 80s still enjoying a mia nois in her 30s, quite amazing they still can get it up, but I guess viagra does help, according to them ????

[Mac Mickmanus]

12 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

What do you mean with partner up?

I.e. they are married to a person of their own age and then they have one or several younger mia nois? That seems to be common for guys who can afford it.

In a Relationship , married, BF , GF kind of relationship

[BangkokReady]

37 minutes ago, Whale said:

Your theory is based too much on sexual ability at a given age. You are a fool who has fallen for the western crapola..... money (handsome) /honey (distadvantaged eastern lady who has a heart of gold). If you are comfortable with the equation then more power to you, fill your pants (no pun intended).

I'm just spit balling about a 20 year age-gap.  If you have a different idea of what might happen, could you explain?

[OneMoreFarang]

11 minutes ago, GrandPapillon said:

I know a few guys in their 80s still enjoying a mia nois in her 30s, quite amazing they still can get it up, but I guess viagra does help, according to them ????

It seems for at least some of them it is more important to be seen with younger women and maybe they hope that other people think they can still perform. Do they? Maybe, and likely we will never know.

[BangkokReady]

45 minutes ago, Gottfrid said:

You tink too mutt!

This much I know.

[BangkokReady]

30 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

Among the Thai population, 20-30 year age differences are also uncommon

More uncommon than the West?

 

30 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

Thais generally partner up with people of a similar age .

Generally, sure, but I feel like it's more common and acceptable in Thailand.  Possibly more acceptable in most of Asia.

 

30 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

 Its mainly Western/Thai partnerships where theres a big age difference .

But isn't that more acceptable in Thailand that in the West?

[Mac Mickmanus]

8 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It seems for at least some of them it is more important to be seen with younger women and maybe they hope that other people think they can still perform. Do they? Maybe, and likely we will never know.

I cannot speak for everyone , but when I see 80 year old men  , whether they can or cannot get an erection is something I have never thought about and its also something that I really wouldn't want to know anyway 

[vinci]

Asian in general woman age faster then men for that 20 year gap is not a problem, for farang you guy don't age very well, most of you in your 40 you look like 60

[Mac Mickmanus]

5 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

More uncommon than the West?

 

Generally, sure, but I feel like it's more common and acceptable in Thailand.  Possibly more acceptable in most of Asia.

 

But isn't that more acceptable in Thailand that in the West?

There are two different Worlds in Thailand .

One World is Thai people living among Thais 

And the other World is Felangs living in tourist areas .

Its quite common for felangs to buy/pay for younger ladies .

But for Thais living among Thais , its not common at all for a big difference in age group relationships .

  Why would a young Thai woman want to be in a relationship with an older Thai man ,  unless he was paying for her 

[BangkokReady]

11 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

Why would a young Thai woman want to be in a relationship with an older Thai man

The same for anyone really.  She's not attractive to guys her own age.  Money, power and status at a level that she otherwise could not get.  She has a thing for older guys.  Or she doesn't care about age and likes the older guy for whatever reason.  ????‍♂️

 

The thing is, a single guy of any age will mostly look for someone in their twenties.  And if they can find one, then they will attempt a relationship.  If the woman is willing, Bob's your Uncle.

 

I feel like it is more acceptable in Thailand than in the West, even with Thai and Thai.  And, generally speaking, the guy always buys the girl, maybe the older guys just pay a little more.

 

You must know that money is a very big factor in relationships in Thailand, right?

[Mac Mickmanus]

7 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

The same for anyone really.  She's not attractive to guys her own age.  Money, power and status at a level that she otherwise could not get.  She has a thing for older guys.  Or she doesn't care about age and likes the older guy for whatever reason.  ????‍♂️

 

The thing is, a single guy of any age will mostly look for someone in their twenties.  And if they can find one, then they will attempt a relationship.  If the woman is willing, Bob's your Uncle.

 

I feel like it is more acceptable in Thailand than in the West, even with Thai and Thai.  And, generally speaking, the guy always buys the girl, maybe the older guys just pay a little more.

 

You must know that money is a very big factor in relationships in Thailand, right?

The girls usually have two options .

Either Work as a prostitute or have an old Felang partner .

[Meat Pie 47]

1 minute ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

The girls usually have two options .

Either Work as a prostitute or have an old Felang partner .

Nonsense

[BangkokReady]

28 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

Its quite common for felangs to buy/pay for younger ladies .

I'm curious what you consider to be "buying".  Suppose a twenty something university educated girl is willing to marry a man twenty years older than her, so not a bar-girl, massive dowry, fee paid to the parents every month, type of deal.  Perhaps she wants a boost in social status, a half-White baby, a husband with a higher paying job, perhaps she has heard that foreign guys are more supportive, like brown or fat girls ("ugly"), less likely to cheat, etc..  Is that still "buying a girl"?

 

I realise we're a little off topic, but I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

[BangkokReady]

6 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

The girls usually have two options .

Either Work as a prostitute or have an old Felang partner .

I feel like you didn't read the comment you are replying to at all.  That isn't the type of girl I am talking about.  Also we were talking about Thai and Thai in that exchange.

[jak2002003]

1 hour ago, impulse said:

Whatever you do, pick one that's had kids.  She'll know how to change a diaper when that time comes.

Then you can sleep with her teenage daughters from previous relationships when your wife is too old for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[jak2002003]

7 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

I'm curious what you consider to be "buying".  Suppose a twenty something university educated girl is willing to marry a man twenty years older than her, so not a bar-girl, massive dowry, fee paid to the parents every month, type of deal.  Perhaps she wants a boost in social status, a half-White baby, a husband with a higher paying job, perhaps she has heard that foreign guys are more supportive, like brown or fat girls ("ugly"), less likely to cheat, etc..  Is that still "buying a girl"?

 

I realise we're a little off topic, but I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

She has no 'boost in social status'.  She will be seen basically as a very common and 'low so' woman willing to prostitute herself and sleep with some old ugly white guy to get his money and not have to work.

 

 

 

 

[Mac Mickmanus]

8 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

I'm curious what you consider to be "buying".  Suppose a twenty something university educated girl is willing to marry a man twenty years older than her, so not a bar-girl, massive dowry, fee paid to the parents every month, type of deal.  Perhaps she wants a boost in social status, a half-White baby, a husband with a higher paying job, perhaps she has heard that foreign guys are more supportive, like brown or fat girls ("ugly"), less likely to cheat, etc..  Is that still "buying a girl"?

 

I realise we're a little off topic, but I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

Is this a hypothetical question ?

Do Thai University educated 20 year old girls get married to retired Western guys ?

[BangkokReady]

3 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

Is this a hypothetical question ?

Do Thai University educated 20 year old girls get married to retired Western guys ?

Who said retired?  How would someone twenty years older than a twenty year old be retired?  I guess he could be if he was super successful, but that would be a plus, I would imagine.  ????

[Adumbration]

1 hour ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

Among the Thai population, 20-30 year age differences are also uncommon , Thais generally partner up with people of a similar age .

   Its mainly Western/Thai partnerships where theres a big age difference .

Do you even live in Thailand?  Show me just one Thai guy who has a mia noi the same age as him.

[RandiRona]

I have nothing to add but this thread is going to be really interesting based on the comments so far.