Age Gap Relationships... in the Later Years? (Opinions/Experiences Sought)

[BritManToo]

10 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

but what about forty and sixty or fifty and seventy?  Will this attraction suddenly fade in a way that it wouldn't if the ages were similar as the couple ages?

Why would any man choose a woman over 40?

Just no!

[RafPinto]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Why would any man choose a woman over 40?

Just no!

Me:

 

Has experience, maybe a career, not more chasing the younger guys, probably knows better what she wants, probably more loyal.

 

And many of them look stunning.

 

[BritManToo]

3 minutes ago, RafPinto said:

Me:

Has experience, maybe a career, not more chasing the younger guys, probably knows better what she wants, probably more loyal.

And many of them look stunning.

The one I live with turned from 'stunning' at 38 to 'old boot' at 43.

So OK for a night or two, but not really keepers.

[CharlieH]

Theres an element that seems to be missing here.

Many comments based purely on age, and that may well factor initially and be the attraction.But as time goes by and "love" grows, isnt it fair to say that the physical attraction is less important and the person becomes the priority not just how they look.

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Theres an element that seems to be missing here.

Many comments based purely on age, and that may well factor initially and be the attraction.But as time goes by and "love" grows, isnt it fair to say that the physical attraction is less important and the person becomes the priority not just how they look.

I'm still wearing the dressing gown my Brit wife bought me in 2001.

It's a bit old, threadbare and tired looking (like me), but I've just got used to wearing it every evening/morning.

[BangkokReady]

18 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Why would any man choose a woman over 40?

Just no!

I meant when they reach that age.  I.e. the woman likes the guy when he's 40 and she's 20.  He is still fairly attractive, although showing some age, and there are other things that she finds attractive as well.  It might even be OK when he is 50 or 60.  But then when they get to say 50 and 70, how does she feel then?  Will she stay, or will she find someone new?

 

I suppose, personally, this is a potential pitfall in dating someone a lot younger than you if you consider the relationship to not be solely financial.  It might be OK now, but what about the future?  Obviously women's biology is on the side of the male, as men tend to be attractive longer than women, but it's still a reasonable concern.

[CharlieH]

15 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

I meant when they reach that age.  I.e. the woman likes the guy when he's 40 and she's 20.  He is still fairly attractive, although showing some age, and there are other things that she finds attractive as well.  It might even be OK when he is 50 or 60.  But then when they get to say 50 and 70, how does she feel then?  Will she stay, or will she find someone new?

 

I suppose, personally, this is a potential pitfall in dating someone a lot younger than you if you consider the relationship to not be solely financial.  It might be OK now, but what about the future?  Obviously women's biology is on the side of the male, as men tend to be attractive longer than women, but it's still a reasonable concern.

 

I would suggest that any relationship, whether it be here or in the West, the passage of time will determine how strong and on what is the basis that it continues or not.

Time will expose the true basis of that relationship. If it survives beyond a certain point then there is more to it than just  an "easy ride" .Neturally there are many other reasons that can cause it to decay too.

There is no one size fits all recipe, its all entirely dependent on the two people in it and what works (or doesnt) for them, not other people .

[RafPinto]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

The one I live with turned from 'stunning' at 38 to 'old boot' at 43.

So OK for a night or two, but not really keepers.

Picture please.
I maybe can help you out.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

But then when they get to say 50 and 70, how does she feel then?  Will she stay, or will she find someone new?

Too late for her to choose again at 50, it's stick it out, kill him, or buy some cats.

[2009]

15 hours ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

Is this a sarcastic post or a humorous post or  serious post ?

Even lived in a small village out in Issan?

[RafPinto]

11 minutes ago, 2009 said:

Even lived in a small village out in Issan?

If there was a village with only 20-30 years old beauties and no other members of society, I would give it a go.

[Tony125]

5 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

I meant when they reach that age.  I.e. the woman likes the guy when he's 40 and she's 20.  He is still fairly attractive, although showing some age, and there are other things that she finds attractive as well.  It might even be OK when he is 50 or 60.  But then when they get to say 50 and 70, how does she feel then?  Will she stay, or will she find someone new?

 

I suppose, personally, this is a potential pitfall in dating someone a lot younger than you if you consider the relationship to not be solely financial.  It might be OK now, but what about the future?  Obviously women's biology is on the side of the male, as men tend to be attractive longer than women, but it's still a reasonable concern.

She will stay for the same reasons a 20 ---40 stays. If they are not staying for the physical attaction makes no difference  how old the guy is if he still has  money, homes, cars , powerful influance sh e will stay. And you are corect Nick Cage  married 1 wife who was only a waitress at a club, guys don't care about the girl's status  just that she is pleasing to the eye.  Women  can like a guy for his looks but even if that fades they will still if they have axcess to money, prestige, security.---doesn't matter his age or looks.

 

[LaosLover]

My wife met Tony Bennet and his 40 years younger wife (so still too old for Britman). They were a real couple where she couldn't get enough of him. It does happen. It obv helps to be a living icon like Tony Bennet.

 

Someone mentioned money as equalizer for looks, but there is also status, fame, even education. My best friend conducts a long distance relationship with a 25 year old woman in Brazil (he's 51). She was drawn to him for his knowledge of post-modernist theory. He's sort of a postmodernist mentor to her. Also he's a BDSM-mentor to her, which to my own mind seems more satisfying.

 

I am a long time meditation retreat goer. On the basis of that and my fairly iffy Buddhist knowledge (no way am I a Buddhist), I have gotten a smattering of much younger interest. In Japan, that translated to sex a couple of times.

[Lucky Bones]

26 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

My wife met Tony Bennet and his 40 years younger wife (so still too old for Britman). They were a real couple where she couldn't get enough of him. It does happen. It obv helps to be a living icon like Tony Bennet.

 

Someone mentioned money as equalizer for looks, but there is also status, fame, even education. My best friend conducts a long distance relationship with a 25 year old woman in Brazil (he's 51). She was drawn to him for his knowledge of post-modernist theory. He's sort of a postmodernist mentor to her. Also he's a BDSM-mentor to her, which to my own mind seems more satisfying.

 

I am a long time meditation retreat goer. On the basis of that and my fairly iffy Buddhist knowledge (no way am I a Buddhist), I have gotten a smattering of much younger interest. In Japan, that translated to sex a couple of times.

Sounds fair to me. But....huh?????????

[LaosLover]

Short version: If you see a hottie with an oldie, it aint always down to money. Only 95% of the time.

[BangkokReady]

1 hour ago, LaosLover said:

Someone mentioned money as equalizer for looks, but there is also status, fame, even education.

Sure, women clearly think differently about these things than men do and status is a big one for women. It's a shame that Westerners are not held at the same level of esteem in Thailand as they are in Vietnam, although they don't have the same, ahem, "type" of foreigner really going there. That being said, there are still some Thais who seem to look up to foreigners. Whether that's just because they think they are rich, admire their White skin and pointy noses, or value the opinion of a well travelled and Western educated foreigner, who knows?

 

Certainly Things like being an expert, being seen as being well cultured or high class can happen to a foreigner. And these things can persevere through age. Although it is still possible that people's opinion of someone can change over time. They may still become disillusioned.

 

It all sounds quite promising though. All i need to do now I gain some status or amass some wealth.

[LaosLover]

My postmodernist kinky friend is also an upper level NGO.

 

That def gives you a bit of entree into a circle of like-minded, educated, western-friendly local women. The good deed doing somewhat explains away the age difference.

 

That probably is the most direct route to what people are seeking here. Even religious NGO's like Save The Children are packed with horn dogs.

 

When I was doing my historic preservation project in Laos, I got a little interest from light-skinned, educated, arty Lao women.

 

I mean both of them in the entire country. They both tried with a French NGO guy first and then cast their net wider when that didn't play out. Lot of moneyed Lao people in Paris.

[BangkokReady]

2 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

My postmodernist kinky friend is also an upper level NGO.

 

That def gives you a bit of entree into a circle of like-minded, educated, western-friendly local women. The good deed doing somewhat explains away the age difference.

I'm sure if we're talking high class wealthy guy back home, age is hardly even a question. They would have their pick in any SEA country.

 

2 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

When I was doing my historic preservation project in Laos, I got a little interest from light-skinned, educated, arty Lao women.

 

I mean both of them in the entire country. They both tried with a French NGO guy first and then cast their net wider when that didn't play out.

I believe Thailand is actually in the minority in SEA in their attitude to all but the most hiso foreigners.

 

2 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

Lot of moneyed Lao people in Paris.

Yeah, there's some sort of link between SEA and Paris. Sort of territorialy and ideologically. I'm getting the colour red for some reason. ????

[LaosLover]

In France, Laos culture and art is esteemed at the level of Jamaican music and culture in the west and always has been - going all the way back to when the French explorer Garnier and his artist friend Delaporte created the myth of untouched, mysterious Laos.

 

Here's an old print that Spielberg admits to borrowing heavily from for his Indiana Jones series:

 

https://www.alamy.com/laos-the-pak-ou-cave-in-upper-laos-engraving-by-louis-delaporte-1842-1925-1867-the-pak-ou-caveplus-the-tham-ting-lower-cave-and-the-tham-theung-upper-caveare-caves-situated-near-the-confluence-of-the-mekong-and-the-ou-rivers-some-25-km-north-of-luang-prabang-the-caves-are-notable-for-their-miniature-buddha-sculptures-which-have-been-placed-on-altars-among-the-stalagmites-by-local-villagers-for-centuries-after-visiting-the-cave-on-the-mekong-expedition-in-1867-francis-garnier-described-coming-upon-the-cave-as-a-striking-impression-image344231548.html

 

Knowing the difference between Nang Kwak and Mae Manee (the beckoning prosperity goddesses) is a kind of cultural currency in Thailand, even with taxi drivers when talking about their dashboard shrines.

 

If a headhunter in the Papua New Guinea jungle wanted to talk to you about Man United, wouldn't you lean in? Same on their side of culture exchange. People love it when you love their stuff.

 

 

[Mac Mickmanus]

6 hours ago, 2009 said:

Even lived in a small village out in Issan?

I haven't no, I didn't realise that children walk around with no diapers on and are left uncleansed  when they go to the toilet . 

[JimTripper]

The first part of your statement you say 'Who cares?'

 

Then you go on a ramble about age gaps.

 

So which is it? Make up your mind.

[BangkokReady]

13 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

The first part of your statement you say 'Who cares?'

 

Then you go on a ramble about age gaps.

 

So which is it? Make up your mind.

Hmmm, I'm not sure that's an accurate summary.

 

I'll "ELI5" it for you:

 

"Age-gap relationships appear common in Thailand between Thai girl and foreigner, they may not have too many issues when both parties are relatively young, but, as both parties age, the physical differences may become more pronounced.  How do people imagine that will play out, particularly in regards to sex and faithfulness?  For example, 20 something and 40 something might be ok, but what about when they get to 50 something and 70 something?"

[BangkokReady]

2 hours ago, LaosLover said:

In France, Laos culture and art is esteemed at the level of Jamaican music and culture in the west and always has been - going all the way back to when the French explorer Garnier and his artist friend Delaporte created the myth of untouched, mysterious Laos.

Laos is awesome.  I can't wait to go back once things get a bit more stable.

 

2 hours ago, LaosLover said:

Knowing the difference between Nang Kwak and Mae Manee (the beckoning prosperity goddesses) is a kind of cultural currency in Thailand, even with taxi drivers when talking about their dashboard shrines.

Sure.  I had an interesting taxi ride where I asked the taxi driver about the music he was playing and mentioned Carabao.  He seemed very excited.  I love to learn Thai history and culture when I can.  It certainly helps to engage with people.

 

2 hours ago, LaosLover said:

If a headhunter in the Papua New Guinea jungle wanted to talk to you about Man United, wouldn't you lean in? Same on their side of culture exchange. People love it when you love their stuff.

Haha.  Well, actually, I despise football, so I would probably just humour him and pretend to like Man U, Liverpool or Arsenal, as I have had to do previously, but I get your point.  I enjoy a good impromptu language exchange.

[LaosLover]

In Laos, a small child running around bare below the waist is pretty standard,

 

Go for the burnt carp dinner by the river, stay for the pedophile voyeurism.

 

Southeast Asian people are uniquely generous in talking about their culture. Try to get that level of engagement on an Indian reservation or even with French speakers in Montreal. Not one Westerner in 10,000 even bother to read the front of the Lonely Planet book. 

 

But the younger they are, the less likely they are to be interested -or be impressed with your knowledge of- old Thai folkloric stuff or MoLam oldies.

[LaosLover]

Obv. if I got laid out of a Zen retreat on Mount Koyasan in Japan, that was with a young western woman. You're more likely to see an Elvis imitator at a Zen retreat in Japan than a Japanese person.

 

Def a few Hiso's on offer at the meditation place outside of Bangkok. Wear all white to up your odds.

[BangkokReady]

9 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

But the younger they are, the less likely they are to be interested -or be impressed with your knowledge of- old Thai folkloric stuff or MoLam oldies.

Sure, but they're more likely to want to know about travel in the West or Harry Potter. ????  

[Mac Mickmanus]

17 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

In Laos, a small child running around bare below the waist is pretty standard,

 

Go for the burnt carp dinner by the river, stay for the pedophile voyeurism.

 

It would only be "pedophile voyeurisms" if you got aroused by naked children .

[LaosLover]

If Gary Glitter had just kept it to lingering too long over his carp dinner cooked in an old oil drum by the side of the road and left it at that, he'd still be minting money on the oldies circuit.

[Mac Mickmanus]

5 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

If Gary Glitter had just kept it to lingering too long over his carp dinner cooked in an old oil drum by the side of the road and left it at that, he'd still be minting money on the oldies circuit.

Well yes, if Gary Glitter hadn't been a pedophile who abused children , he wouldn't had been arrested and jailed .

   How is that relevant to this thread ?

[LaosLover]

I am anti-pedophile, but neutral on when rural children in South East Asia should put pants on.

 

I feel bad for The Glitter Band. They were blameless, but had trash thrown at them when they tried to tour without Gary. Without Gary's prehistoric riffs, Joan Jett wouldn't have had an act.