How much time does your wife/gf spend talking to friends?

[RafPinto]

38 minutes ago, nikmar said:

i was thinking along those lines - or something like "Why does my teerak have to make sensible plans for the future - he think too much??"

I told my ex:

 

You work, you make small money.
To make 1 Million Baht, it takes very very long time.
To save 1 Million Baht, it will take forever and for most, mission impossible.

How long does it take to spend a million. A few seconds. Card out, pin in  and done.

Hmmm, that made her think.

It's very difficult to accumulate but very easy to spend.

I also tried to educate her.
Each item you want to buy, ask yourself how long you have to work for it: in hours, days, weeks and even years.

Again, big eyes. She never thought about that.

Problem is, most thais think that we have a magic tree. Hold your hand out and some money falls off the tree.
The ones who spend all their money to build a house etc and now rely on pension income get often a wake up call from the girls. Why is there no money left???

 

Well, it's all spend 555

[Kenny202]

28 minutes ago, RafPinto said:

Problem is, most thais think that we have a magic tree. Hold your hand out and some money falls off the tree.
The ones who spend all their money to build a house etc and now rely on pension income get often a wake up call from the girls. Why is there no money left???

 

Well, it's all spend 555

There in lies the sad story of many Thai / Farang relationships. The guy think he will come here....buy the wife or GF some gold, nice clothes...bags.....go on a few holidays. Build a house. Couple of new cars...All set up for the rest of his life which may not be more than ten years...and then settle down to a more sensible lifestyle on a budget. That's when the trouble starts. Yes she has a nice big comfortable house but I don't think they like living indoors like us anyway. Big TV....most still play on their phone all night...prefer cold water dunk showers and would much rather be outside under a tree snacking / chatting with their friends. I don't think the end game for many of these girls is even money. It's showing off. Bragging rights....and then of course with bragging you get jealousy and envy. It is ripe in Thailand and why they are the largest users of Facebook in the world. So at this point the guys hard earned has all been transferred to teelac in the form of property and assets, all legally in her name.

The guy has woken up and put the brakes on the money and there are no more shiny trinkets to display on Facebook and Instagram. At best the woman tolerates the guy as an annoyance. Or otherwise he's out on his ear with nothing left than a pension which is hard enough to live on in Thailand let alone back home.

 

I have also come to understand Thais do not look at a relationship with a foreigner as an upgrade.....even with a decent looking young guy. Actually seems to me to them it is more of a downgrade and they expect to be renumerated for it. have you ever had a woman here say "live with farang for what?". It is so easy to get sucked in when we first come here though as we are treated as VIP's (superficially at first anyway).  

 

I wonder how much of it is our own stupidity. Particularly when there is an age gap of 15-30 years. And we have very little in common with Thai people to begin with. We have a whole bunch of unreasonable expectations as I imagine they do. Both are usually disappointed. What does amaze me is how many come from a calamitous, uncertain lifestyle in abject poverty and can't be satisfied with the security and a modest (if not high) lifestyle at least compared to rural Thailand anyway. I guess though if the assets are all in her name what use does she have for you anymore? I have also come to realize particularly us older guys are in a completely different mindset re planning the end of our lives. We have done much of what we wanted to do and happy in cruise mode. Girls 20-40yo aren't going to be thinking like that at all. But maybe giving them far too much credit. I haven't met too many Thai women that seem to plan anything at all really.

 

Edited May 20, 2022 by Kenny202

[BritManToo]

16 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

There in lies the sad story of many Thai / Farang relationships. The guy think he will come here....buy the wife or GF some gold, nice clothes...bags.....go on a few holidays. Build a house. Couple of new cars...All set up for the rest of his life which may not be more than ten years...and then settle down to a more sensible lifestyle on a budget. That's when the trouble starts.

 

I wonder how much of it is our own stupidity. Particularly when there is an age gap of 15-30 years. And we have very little in common with Thai people to begin with

1. I did that, and it's worked out very nicely (no gold or bags, house on mortgage).

But the game is carrot and stick ... if you let them eat the carrot you're history.

 

2. I have very little in common with anyone, especially not women (Thai or other).

Edited May 20, 2022 by BritManToo

[RafPinto]

1 hour ago, nikmar said:

i was thinking along those lines - or something like "Why does my teerak have to make sensible plans for the future - he think too much??"

Hmmm, that made her think.

It's very difficult to accumulate but very easy to spend.

I also tried to educate her.
Each item you want to buy, ask yourself how long you have to work for it: in hours, days, weeks and even years.

Again, big eyes. She never thought about that.

Problem is, most thais think that we have a magic tree. Hold your hand out and some money falls off the tree.
The ones who spend all their money to build a house etc and now rely on pension income get often a wake up call from the girls. Why is there no money left???

 

Well, it's all spend 555

[Hummin]

Someone regrets learning thai?

 

Not so bad here, she is busy taking care of the farm and me, so not much time to talk, and to tired when have time, but ar least 30 min with family and friends a day I would say, but never next to me.

 

 

[Kenny202]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I did that, and it's worked out very nicely (no gold or bags, house on mortgage).

But the game is carrot and stick ... if you let them eat the carrot you're history.

That is the best clearest way I have ever heard that put 5555

 

 

 

[RafPinto]

Plus all those facebook accounts.

My ex had... I don't remember how many. Each time a different name and different story. Some where in thai language.
Her mom, who can't read has also at least 3 accounts.
Her sisters all a lot of accounts with thousands of friends 555

 

Even her married sisters. You never see a picture of husband and as status, they are all single.

Asked her why so many accounts: I can't remember my email log in and had to open new account but they post every day on all accounts.

PLus twitter, tiktok, whatsApp etc.
Even her mom has a twitter account.

 

Some accounts are for private chats with other farangs.

 

They have plenty of tricks up their arms but I am one step ahead now.

 

For this, I am the farang who is tinking too mut and talking too mut and not trusting them.

 

????????????

[RafPinto]

5 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Someone regrets learning thai?

 

Not so bad here, she is busy taking care of the farm and me, so not much time to talk, and to tired when have time, but ar least 30 min with family and friends a day I would say, but never next to me.

 

 

???? If you are lucky, she will send you a sticker after you wrote her a book.

[fredwiggy]

11 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

There in lies the sad story of many Thai / Farang relationships. The guy think he will come here....buy the wife or GF some gold, nice clothes...bags.....go on a few holidays. Build a house. Couple of new cars...All set up for the rest of his life which may not be more than ten years...and then settle down to a more sensible lifestyle on a budget. That's when the trouble starts. Yes she has a nice big comfortable house but I don't think they like living indoors like us anyway. Big TV....most still play on their phone all night...prefer cold water dunk showers and would much rather be outside under a tree snacking / chatting with their friends. I don't think the end game for many of these girls is even money. It's showing off. Bragging rights....and then of course with bragging you get jealousy and envy. It is ripe in Thailand and why they are the largest users of Facebook in the world. So at this point the guys hard earned has all been transferred to teelac in the form of property and assets, all legally in her name.

The guy has woken up and put the brakes on the money and there are no more shiny trinkets to display on Facebook and Instagram. At best the woman tolerates the guy as an annoyance. Or otherwise he's out on his ear with nothing left than a pension which is hard enough to live on in Thailand let alone back home.

 

I have also come to understand Thais do not look at a relationship with a foreigner as an upgrade.....even with a decent looking young guy. Actually seems to me to them it is more of a downgrade and they expect to be renumerated for it. have you ever had a woman here say "live with farang for what?". It is so easy to get sucked in when we first come here though as we are treated as VIP's (superficially at first anyway).  

 

I wonder how much of it is our own stupidity. Particularly when there is an age gap of 15-30 years. And we have very little in common with Thai people to begin with. We have a whole bunch of unreasonable expectations as I imagine they do. Both are usually disappointed. What does amaze me is how many come from a calamitous, uncertain lifestyle in abject poverty and can't be satisfied with the security and a modest (if not high) lifestyle at least compared to rural Thailand anyway. I guess though if the assets are all in her name what use does she have for you anymore? I have also come to realize particularly us older guys are in a completely different mindset re planning the end of our lives. We have done much of what we wanted to do and happy in cruise mode. Girls 20-40yo aren't going to be thinking like that at all. But maybe giving them far too much credit. I haven't met too many Thai women that seem to plan anything at all really.

 

Very well said and right on. In America, where I'm from, one of the major complaints women have, is "you never talk to me", and here, you talk too much. Granted, if your Thai wife(gf), doesn't speak English well, there will definitely be a barrier, as was with my ex here. She said I talk too much (never heard that from anyone in 65 years until here, and my gf says it also),and also being a narcissist, she wanted control, and that means don't talk, let me do what I want. My gf now talks a lot with me, as over all these years, and reading over 60 books on relationships, women and kids, I learned, listen to the woman. When I let her talk, and "actively" listen, she is closer to me. They want to be heard. Problem here is, Thai men don't, from what I've seen and heard for over 20 years, both here and in the US, talk to their wives much, unless it involves work at the farm or other important things. Women always talk more to their girlfriends, both here and everywhere else, but here it's way out of proportion. You can, like you said, bring a woman out of a very poor, scratch to survive lifestyle, into an air conditioned, bug and rat free house, have a car and a scooter, food of all kinds every day, newer clothes for you, her and the kids, and give your kids more attention than what happens here, and it's still not enough. People can get used to many things, but upgrades usually make people happier. My gf here is a lot different than what I've seen so far. She and I both understand that the man's job is to provide, just as Christians believe, but she helps me a lot, and doesn't ask for more than she knows I can give. My ex thought I should just give and not talk, and I get sex as a reward. We all pay for everything we get, and I have no problem providing more than my wife or partner, but we are looked at by many here as walking Atm's, and that doesn't cut it with me. What does a local get when she divorces the farang? Some things, especially if the farang leaves. I have a daughter here that I won't leave without, but moving back is impossible for at least a few years. The wife here had everything she needed, especially if she had a decent,loving,caring, non neglectful husband. Now she is back in the dating pool, and everyone knows what she will get from that here, especially if she has kids of her own. You would think after all these years, that appreciation would be high among those who have married "good" farangs. I guess some never learn.

[Hummin]

8 minutes ago, RafPinto said:

???? If you are lucky, she will send you a sticker after you wrote her a book.

Not that bad. When Im back home working, we talk 3 times a day, when wake up for me, lunch, and good night for her, and send good morning messages. 
 

A little bit much for my taste, but thats how the routine is like it or not. With my x western gf not even every day.

[RafPinto]

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

Not that bad. When Im back home working, we talk 3 times a day, when wake up for me, lunch, and good night for her, and send good morning messages. 
 

A little bit much for my taste, but thats how the routine is like it or not. With my x western gf not even every day.

He: Morning my love

He: Hi

He: what are you doing?

He: hello, are you there?

 

3 hours later

 

She: Hi

He: Finally. What where you doing?

2 hours later:

She: talking to mom

 

Evening:

He: good night my love

 

2 hours later:

She: OK

????????????

[Bert got kinky]

 

Maybe not related but I took the shell of my racing snail to make him go faster.

But, if anything, it just made him more sluggish...

 

[Hummin]

5 minutes ago, RafPinto said:

He: Morning my love

He: Hi

He: what are you doing?

He: hello, are you there?

 

3 hours later

 

She: Hi

He: Finally. What where you doing?

2 hours later:

She: talking to mom

 

Evening:

He: good night my love

 

2 hours later:

She: OK

????????????

We do have a bit better communication than that, and her english is pretty good on a average nordic country english level I would say. 

[bkk6060]

Sorry, just another example of the weak western male not in control.

If it bothers a man so much, she should stop when you tell her too.

Especially, if you are the provider for the family and paying for everything including her phone services.

But, what does one expect that seems to be more and more not the case here.  The bragging"she is the boss and in control of everything" as if that is a good thing, just seems wrong.

[fredwiggy]

4 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

Sorry, just another example of the weak western male not in control.

If it bothers a man so much, she should stop when you tell her too.

Especially, if you are the provider for the family and paying for everything including her phone services.

But, what does one expect that seems to be more and more not the case here.  The bragging"she is the boss and in control of everything" as if that is a good thing, just seems wrong.

A man is not weak if he

"lets" his wife talk to her friends. Sounds like   narcissist alpha male thinking.  A man ,although he is the leader, isn't in control of his wife. If he is, he is a narcissist and we all know what world leaders, as narcissists, do. She should stop when you tell her to? There is no "boss" in a household. There is a man, the leader, and a woman, following his lead, AND giving advice when it's needed, which a smart man will listen to. Someone saying she is the boss doesn't have his household running right, and there will always be problems. Men are problem solvers by nature, and women are nurturers, and both should have these qualities also. A man is not in control when he lets the woman decide everything. It should be mutual. Happiness is a home isn't where one is a slave to the other's wishes.

[Kenny202]

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

being a narcissist, she wanted control, and that means don't talk, let me do what I want. My gf now talks a lot with me, as over all these years, and reading over 60 books on relationships, women and kids, I learned, listen to the woman. When I let her talk, and "actively" listen, she is closer to me. They want to be heard. Problem here is, Thai men don't, from what I've seen and heard for over 20 years, both here and in the US, talk to their wives much, unless it involves work at the farm or other important things. Women always talk more to their girlfriends, both here and everywhere else, but here it's way out of proportion.

I have noticed that too with Thai relationships. Almost seems like they understand men and women have very little in common and live accordingly, don't try too hard. Then of course these sort of women never understand why their husband ran off with a younger more "fun" type girl. Thai women always seem to prefer company of their GF, and show them a lot more respect and courtesy I might add....all the while knowing the Thai GF would stab her in the back in an instant. Dunno...... sometimes to me Thais (not all but some) seem to mistake kindness for weakness. I heard once in Asia acts of charity and kindness are always eyed with suspicion. Either the person is going to want something in return or they are just stupid. If they are stupid they are to be taken advantage of.

 

And as far as manning up etc...that is all well and good but I have seen more than once psychotic irrational Thai women that just can't be tamed and will go to all sorts of lengths to get attention. Not much you can do in these cases short of belting them and that's never going to end well either.  

Edited May 20, 2022 by Kenny202

[RichardColeman]

A week, maybe 6-7 hours on the phone to family.

 

A weeks studying of lottery numbers from FB recommendations at least 30 hours - I'm yet to see any benefit in it for 7 years

[Hummin]

58 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

Sorry, just another example of the weak western male not in control.

If it bothers a man so much, she should stop when you tell her too.

Especially, if you are the provider for the family and paying for everything including her phone services.

But, what does one expect that seems to be more and more not the case here.  The bragging"she is the boss and in control of everything" as if that is a good thing, just seems wrong.

It is just boredom alike us spending to much time on AN, so I guess my time here is up soon, since Im about to get busy again ???? in the meantime, a good timekiller.

 

If the girls had something decent to do, they would not be on the phone all the time

[Pooreye]

5 hours ago, nikmar said:

I sometimes wonder, if there was a forum for Thai wives of ex-pats, what would they say / ask about us.

 

Haha they have FB groups for that! Some years ago, a lady I dated showed me a conversation about how to get the husband into paying off her debts mode. Quite a few women there have had success about that. Paying off 20 years of racked up living expenses from her previous life...

[The Hammer2021]

The sound of chattering is far better than ominous  silence

[Iamfalang]

My wife sends hearts to 100s of guys a day.  It’s ok because she says they are her brothers

[Bert got kinky]

2 minutes ago, Iamfalang said:

My wife sends hearts to 100s of guys a day.  It’s ok because she says they are her brothers

It’s ok because she says they are her brothers

Yes, of course we are. ????

 

[EVENKEEL]

Barefoot and pregnant is what I say. Be a man.

[Airalee]

6 hours ago, nikmar said:

I sometimes wonder, if there was a forum for Thai wives of ex-pats, what would they say / ask about us.

 

There is.  A friend turned me on to it about 10 years ago.  It used to be a forum/website called Ladyinter.  Now it is just a Facebook page.  And they talk about everything.  They will even know the ins and outs of every countries wages, social security system, divorce laws….you name it.

[Kenny202]

15 minutes ago, Airalee said:

There is.  A friend turned me on to it about 10 years ago.  It used to be a forum/website called Ladyinter.  Now it is just a Facebook page.  And they talk about everything.  They will even know the ins and outs of every countries wages, social security system, divorce laws….you name it.

Yeah there are quite a few sites and most of the themes about extracting money and who is getting more than someone else. Most of them lie saying they are getting allowances of 50 - 100k a month thus making the others think they should be receiving the same lol. My mates wife was tryin it on with him and she was the plainest 55yo village woman you ever seen 5555. There are also sites where woman do reports on Foreign boyfriends they have had. I know because my friend showed up on one lol. I must say he had been playing the field but OMG didn't they unload on him! bad breath, body odor, kie neow, playboy etc. Even though this guy on the surface did seem to be a bit of a player as he said he always went and met a woman with good intentions. Unfortunately he never met one that also had good intentions. Next! 

Edited May 20, 2022 by Kenny202

[smutcakes]

Quite a lot, but she can do as she likes, why would it bother me how much she chats to family, friends? Obviously there are times and places and you would hope your partner to have sufficient wherewithal to know where is appropriate and inappropriate. Might just be that they spend more time on the phone or talking to neighbors as its far preferable to speaking to their partner. Reading some of the views on here, it really comes as no surprise when women ditch their husbands and run off to try something better.

[Airalee]

30 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

There are also sites where woman do reports on Foreign boyfriends they have had

Yeah…I remember you telling me about those sites.

 

Hope all is well,

 

Sardines and almonds.

[Kenny202]

9 minutes ago, Airalee said:

Yeah…I remember you telling me about those sites.

 

Hope all is well,

 

Sardines and almonds.

Hahahahahaha ???? ????

 

Edited May 20, 2022 by Kenny202

[GinBoy2]

It's not just when they are in Thailand.

 

We live in the US, and Mrs G works a full time job.

 

Yet she still seems capable of spending inordinate amounts of time either on the phone, or messenger talking about God knows what.

 

It gets worse on Wednesdays, when all the local Thai ladies take turns on hosting their weekly get together. I usually hunker down in the bedroom to escape the non stop chatter/bitching/gossip

 

I speak Thai and Lao, but have learned to filter it out while I watch TV.

 

So, if you are in Thailand don't worry, it's just in their DNA to talk incessantly, and if they don't work, all the more so 

Edited May 21, 2022 by GinBoy2

[Puwa]

Very little.