❤️ THE SURVEY OF LOVE ❤️ - Is your wife an ex-bargirl ?

[Danderman123]

33 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Thats why people can’t be bothered with these threads. 

 

None of my friends have married ex-bar girls.... they have married well educated women from similar and financially independent socio-economic backgrounds....

 

But... such comments are unpopular on these forums as the mongers want their choices normalised, to do so they attempt to throw ridicule at those who have not had such limited options and make sarcastic comments as if accusing those who are in more ’normal relationships’ of lying.....  (as above)... so why would anyone with a well educated wife from a decent background even bother exposing themselves to the potential debate with a monger ???

 

I am sure that plenty of 50 year old+ Farangs have married university girls, but that is not what this topic is about. 

 

This topic is about Farangs married to ex-bargirls. 

 

There are 2 major traps for Farangs married to bargirls:

 

1. The inevitable Thai boyfriend. Also known as "brother" "uncle" or "water delivery guy".

 

2. "Customer before". 

[2long]

I think we all know that this is a very 'clickbaity' topic thread, and many members will view.

Some (who voted yes) will look for solidarity in numbers.

Many (who voted no, or refused to vote) will look to take the high ground and look down on others.

My hat goes off to @4MyEgofor his honest post. ????????

[Neeranam]

5 minutes ago, Danderman123 said:

I am sure that plenty of 50 year old+ Farangs have married university girls, but that is not what this topic is about. 

 

This topic is about Farangs married to ex-bargirls. 

 

There are 2 major traps for Farangs married to bargirls:

 

1. The inevitable Thai boyfriend. Also known as "brother" "uncle" or "water delivery guy".

 

2. "Customer before". 

You seem to think you are an authority on farang married to bar prossies. 

How did you gain your experience? 

Are you a monger?

[Neeranam]

47 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

Wow looks like I'm the only one willing to admit that I married a girl who worked in a bar, did she charge for sex, der, did I buy her lady drinks, der.

Of course most people married to prostitutes will not admit it. 

 

Not very respectful to your wife, is it, going on an internet forum and telling the world that she was a hooker. 

[Neeranam]

7 minutes ago, 2long said:

My hat goes off to @4MyEgofor his honest post. ????????

I bet his wife wouldn't take her hat off. 

[KannikaP]

51 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

"Out of sheer curiosity I'm trying to figure out the percentage..."

But only out of Thaivisa posters.  You seem to be assuming that expat/Thai marriages only happen to Thaivisa members but, thank God, there's a lot more to life than that which appears on this forum. 

 

Bearing in mind the comparatively small numbers of foreigners that know of the existence of Thaivisa, I'd venture a guess that there are more expat/Thai marriages between people who know nothing at all about your "survey" than those who will take part in it.

Come on Lou, it's not ThaiVisa like it used to be, any more. 

Same could be said about two certain footy teams.............ooops, sorry.   555

Edited August 24, 2022 by KannikaP

[Liverpool Lou]

3 minutes ago, KannikaP said:

50 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

"Out of sheer curiosity I'm trying to figure out the percentage..."

But only out of Thaivisa posters.  You seem to be assuming that expat/Thai marriages only happen to Thaivisa members but, thank God, there's a lot more to life than that which appears on this forum. 

 

Bearing in mind the comparatively small numbers of foreigners that know of the existence of Thaivisa, I'd venture a guess that there are more expat/Thai marriages between people who know nothing at all about your "survey" than those who will take part in it.

Expand  

Come on Lou, it's not ThaiVisa like it used to be, any more. 

Ya think?

[OneMoreFarang]

You forgot option 3:

No! Absolutely not! I would never admit that I met my wife in a bar.

And just in case I met her in a bar she was the cashier, and she was never out with anybody but me.

She is different! 

 

Personally I don't have such problems: My one was the hottest girl in the bar. And a great dancer. Let's go baby! 

[4MyEgo]

9 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Of course most people married to prostitutes will not admit it. 

 

Not very respectful to your wife, is it, going on an internet forum and telling the world that she was a hooker. 

Um, I don't know where you get off, but the title my wife had, was the title she had.

 

You see, I could go to any bar in any country and pick up a girl after buying her a few drinks and have sex with her, might be that night or another date after dinner, either way it would cost me, so what's the difference.

 

Perhaps the women in a first world country has better job prospects, education prospects, government support etc etc, if you want to label women who offer sex for sale prostitutes or hookers, then I can only look down on you, as I choose not to judge people, some have very little choice, do you look down on the guy who sucks up the $hit from your loo, I bet you do, or is his title a better one because he is not selling sex, something we all enjoy and of course, some perhaps a lot if us use often.

 

If your disgusted by the fact, then grow some balls man, life isn't perfect. 

[4MyEgo]

15 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

I bet his wife wouldn't take her hat off. 

Looks like someone got burnt by a bargirl, you can hold onto that for the rest of your life, enjoy every moment of it, or you can let it go, many get burnt by non bar girls, it's just a title, next thing you'll be telling us all is you've never paid for sex because your a hanhom man ????

 

Do me a favour, don't railroad the topic.

 

 

Edited August 24, 2022 by 4MyEgo

[spidermike007]

In all the years I have lived here, I have only known one man who was courageous enough to say yes. When out in public, at a dinner party, etc. He would say my wife used to work in a bar, or if with the guys, he would freely admit he picked her up in a bar, and married her. That takes alot of courage and chutzpah. Gotta admire it. I have known other guys who married bar girls, and went so far out of their way to create a backstory. She has a masters degree in this or that, she ran a chain of restaurants, etc. Hilarious stuff. 

[4MyEgo]

52 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

You'd be amazed at the massive percentage of "Thaivisa" foreigners that have somehow married into affluent and influential Thai families with pale-skinned Thai-Chinese wives holding PhDs up the ying-yang employed in excessively well-paid managerial positions with huge multi-nationals who wouldn't know what a bar was if it jumped up and bit them on the a_rse!

Let's not forget they were all virgins too ????

 

[transam]

A question for the OP, when a bar girl retires, what do you think happens next in their life...?

[spidermike007]

6 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

Um, I don't know where you get off, but the title my wife had, was the title she had.

 

You see, I could go to any bar in any country and pick up a girl after buying her a few drinks and have sex with her, might be that night or another date after dinner, either way it would cost me, so what's the difference.

 

Perhaps the women in a first world country has better job prospects, education prospects, government support etc etc, if you want to label women who offer sex for sale prostitutes or hookers, then I can only look down on you, as I choose not to judge people, some have very little choice, do you look down on the guy who sucks up the $hit from your loo, I bet you do, or is his title a better one because he is not selling sex, something we all enjoy and of course, some perhaps a lot if us use often.

 

If your disgusted by the fact, then grow some balls man, life isn't perfect. 

Thanks. Well spoken. I like to call them working gals. And many of them are lovely women, who like you say had a desperate hand dealt to them by life, and Thai society, and were courageous enough to lift themselves up, and make a better life for themselves. It is very easy for us to be judgmental. We have never had to face the choice of working in a factory for 50-60 hours a week, for $450 a month, before taxes and expenses, (and how does one get by on that kind of income?) or doing the alternative, hoping to find a good man, and financial stability for themselves, and their poor families.

 

It is called natural selection. The desire to survive and prosper. How can anyone be blamed for that?

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

In all the years I have lived here, I have only known one man who was courageous enough to say yes. When out in public, at a dinner party, etc. He would say my wife used to work in a bar, or if with the guys, he would freely admit he picked her up in a bar, and married her. That takes alot of courage and chutzpah. Gotta admire it. I have known other guys who married bar girls, and went so far out of their way to create a backstory. She has a masters degree in this or that, she ran a chain of restaurants, etc. Hilarious stuff. 

I think there is not much point in discussing this.

Most guys who live here long enough will have a good idea if the wife worked previously in a bar. Those girls behave in general differently than the others.

 

If someone would ask me at dinner where I met my wife then the answer could be any of the following:

- yes, and you know that (or at least can guess it)

- no, because I don't want to explain life to you (not said loud)

- it's not your business

 

And obviously if there are several people present including the wives then maybe it's not the good idea to point at your wife and tell everybody: I met her in baby agogo. 

 

[spidermike007]

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

Wow looks like I'm the only one willing to admit that I married a girl who worked in a bar, did she charge for sex, der, did I buy her lady drinks, der.

 

Q: How have the 15 plus years been married to her been, hmmm, the happiest and best years of my life. 

 

I know lots of guys who are married to bar girls who have also had good experiences with their wives, and of course I have heard (not met) guys who have had unsuccessful marriages to a bar girl.

 

So what do we make of this, to me personally, it's not the title, or university that I look for in a person, it's their personality/character, and of course are they good, bad, caring, deceitful, liars etc etc, well humans come in all mixes, shapes and sizes, you just have to know how to navigate through it all and plant some traps along the way, trust has to be earned, that said, I also never mix finances in a relationship, nor do I wear my heart on my sleeve.

 

As Forrest Gump said; life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get..... ????

 

At the end of all of this, there is a "happy ending" something a lot of people can't fathom for whatever their reasons, do I give a rat$ a$$, nope, each to their own, what works for me, might not work for you, but heaven forbid marrying a bargirl of all people....LOL

 

Good one. There is alot of judgment with this line of thought. Personally, I think if you marry a bargirl, or massage gal, who has not been at it for too long, there is a good chance of success, if she is made of the right stuff.

 

Back in the US, the sex industry is enormous, and many men end up marrying a woman who has been with well over 1,000 men, without knowing anything about their past. Back there, they are not open and notorious, and sitting out in front of massage parlors. They are online, working as expensive escorts. They work massage, they work in the porn industry. They ply their trade on Tinder, as companions. Far less obvious, but it is the same thing. Equal or greater numbers, per capita. 

The big difference is the honesty of the Thai women, and the way they go about what they are doing. Far more transparency, and infinitely more delightful. They do not seem to be burdened by copious amounts of guilt or regret. They just do what they have to do, and get on with their lives. For me, that translates into integrity. 

Thai women, like all others come in many different shapes and forms. Many are really lovely women, who have the kind of heart, soul, and feminine nature a burned out, overly uber feminized women in the West cannot even conceive of. Same applies to the millions upon millions of SIMPS, and emasculated Western men out there. 

Many of us have met bargirls, or massage girls who are very kind, and are doing what they can to help out their families, who have next to nothing. The culture here gives them few alternatives.

[spidermike007]

11 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I think there is not much point in discussing this.

Most guys who live here long enough will have a good idea if the wife worked previously in a bar. Those girls behave in general differently than the others.

 

If someone would ask me at dinner where I met my wife then the answer could be any of the following:

- yes, and you know that (or at least can guess it)

- no, because I don't want to explain life to you (not said loud)

- it's not your business

 

And obviously if there are several people present including the wives then maybe it's not the good idea to point at your wife and tell everybody: I met her in baby agogo. 

 

Good point, as usual for you. Women can be very judgmental, and that applies to everywhere, not just here. We acquired some land, and when someone asks what my wife does, rather than say she is a housewife, she tells them she manages a large fruit orchard. It is essentially true, though her father runs the day to day operation. 

[OneMoreFarang]

Many years ago, I was a regular customer in one bar, and I was sitting next to one of the cashiers. She worked there for years. I never saw her going out with any customer but maybe she did. And it doesn't really matter.

Years later she worked in an accounting company, and she contacted me to do some computer work for that accounting company. All fine.

 

And at some stage I asked her about her experience with working in a bar and a "normal" job. She told me in average she like the bar girls more than the "normal" girls. Because the bar girls are more honest, and other reasons. I found that interesting. And I wasn't surprised.

But that obviously doesn't mean all bar girls are better than all normal girls.

 

Maybe the next survey should be: How do women select who they marry. IMHO there won't be much difference between bar girls and others.

[Boomer6969]

1 hour ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Are you starting your own survey?

Nope, don't need other geezers' opinion on that "matter".

[brewsterbudgen]

I completed the survey, although my wife's not Thai.

[recom273]

2 hours ago, Danderman123 said:

Not too many posters want to admit they married a bargirl. 

 

Everyone marries a university graduate who owns a shop. 

No, no, no, my wife - mine was a waitress in a Pattaya restaurant, she told me had only been working there for a few weeks, honest.

 

.. actually, my wife was a BKK department store girl. She wasn't a graduate, i'm afraid to say - but she did attend some vocational school on Sunday to complete her education, so she had a university girls white blouse and mini skirt, at the age of 32 .. awesome.

[OneMoreFarang]

12 minutes ago, brewsterbudgen said:

I completed the survey, although my wife's not Thai.

Did you meet her in one of those Russian places in Pattaya? ???? 

[2long]

Can we have a slightly-reworded topic...

"Is your ex-wife (now) a bargirl?" ????

[IvorBiggun2]

2 hours ago, Danderman123 said:

Can't think of a reason to marry a Thai lady.

Makes life easier to stay here and because you fell in love. But in your case you didn't. Hats off to you. 

[4MyEgo]

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

Thanks. Well spoken. I like to call them working gals. And many of them are lovely women, who like you say had a desperate hand dealt to them by life, and Thai society, and were courageous enough to lift themselves up, and make a better life for themselves. It is very easy for us to be judgmental. We have never had to face the choice of working in a factory for 50-60 hours a week, for $450 a month, before taxes and expenses, (and how does one get by on that kind of income?) or doing the alternative, hoping to find a good man, and financial stability for themselves, and their poor families.

 

It is called natural selection. The desire to survive and prosper. How can anyone be blamed for that?

Summed up exactly how it is for most.

 

No female wants to work in an industry spreading her legs to strangers, that said, if they have an alternative choice.

 

Let's look at an example, say a Thai woman in her early twenties with 2 kids got the sheet kicked out of her constantly buy her partner, who in the beginning turned out to be a good guy, but as soon as the kids came into the picture turned nasty, naturally that woman would depend on him to support her with two kids, after all, who is going to look after them when she is a 1,000 kilometres away from her family, that said, if she returned to the family with 2 more mouths to feed when they're doing it tough already, hence the reason that women left to go to BKK to work and send money back, ultimately she would have to leave her partner as the cops couldn't do anything to stop the abuse when neighbours would call them.

 

That woman would have to return and then cop the harsh reality from her father about bringing two more mouths to feed with no money coming in, did I mention this is the reality of poor families, as opposed to westerners taking them in because they can afford too, only option with no education is to go to see a friend of a friend in a red light district, fortunately as you say, many can get picked up out of there pretty quickly by a farang and provided a life one could only dream of, that or end up with a cheap Charlie who takes them back to his country to look after his parents, all the time while living out of his parents garage to save on renting a place.

 

I could go on, but I know you and most who have a good Thai wife who perhaps hit rock bottom looks at you as their hero and appreciates you every single hour of every single day, then there's the ones who turn into Hi-So wanna be's, but that's a different story.

 

Fat of the matter is most farangs haven't got a clue of what really goes on or where these gals come or came from, for them it's easy to judge them for what they perceive them to be, and how they want them to be, they dominate them and treat them like <deleted>, now to me, having been with many women in my life's journey, I can't say that I have had a single woman do me wrong, why, because if you treat a woman with respect, she will want to stay with you forever, as for financial security, that is every woman's intention who cannot do it on her own due to lack of education or wanting to just be a humble house wife looking after her man, and  there is nothing wrong with either in my opinion.

 

As for the angry birds out there who judge the bargirls for what they see them as, well what can I say, it doesn't take much to have a personality, which they must all lack ????

 

[Neeranam]

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

Um, I don't know where you get off, but the title my wife had, was the title she had.

 

You see, I could go to any bar in any country and pick up a girl after buying her a few drinks and have sex with her, might be that night or another date after dinner, either way it would cost me, so what's the difference.

 

Perhaps the women in a first world country has better job prospects, education prospects, government support etc etc, if you want to label women who offer sex for sale prostitutes or hookers, then I can only look down on you, as I choose not to judge people, some have very little choice, do you look down on the guy who sucks up the $hit from your loo, I bet you do, or is his title a better one because he is not selling sex, something we all enjoy and of course, some perhaps a lot if us use often.

 

If your disgusted by the fact, then grow some balls man, life isn't perfect. 

Guy says on a public internet forum that his wife was a sex worker and gets his knickers in a twist when there is a reaction ????

There's a huge difference between picking a girl up in a bar in the UK that paying a barfine for a prostitute in Thailand, if you can't see the difference you are full of denial. Yes, you will get other mongers that will like your post and make you feel like this is normal. 

Yes, Juicy Lucy in the Star and Garter was easy to pick up and have sex with, I guess many would call her a slag. 

Choosing Buriram Noi, no. 57,  from the Pink Pussy in Pat Pong is a completely different kettle of fish. She has been forced to prostitute herself due to coming from an area of impoverishment; if you think taking advantage of third world farmer girls is OK, hmmm.  You might get some here who fill your head with nonsense like they like old farang as they are different to Thai men but in reality they do NOT like farang men apart from that they are so naive that they believe this BS. Trust me, I am Thai and worked in a treatment centre for alcohol and drug abuse in Isarn, I've heard it all from 'bar girls', a term used by mongers to justify their mongering. The last thing in the world a 20 year old Thai girl wants to do is to give a BJ to a retired Scandinavian seaman, or a 50-year old Butcher from Bognor Regis. 

I don't look down on prostitutes, I had a couple of friends who were in the UK, sadly due to drug addiction. 

I suspect some want to talk about their bar girl wives as they look on them as a piece of meat and marry them for their subservient natures. 

[Walker88]

Should I ever choose to marry, I really don't care what work she might have done before, even if she worked in a bar. I'm not a virgin, and I would neither expect nor want a virgin for a wife. I had my share of virgins when I was 16, and I can say it was not the best sex I ever had.

 

Do we get along? That is infinitely more important. Can we bridge the cultural gap? That would concern me more than how many partners she had, for pay or pleasure.

 

If there is anything long term visitors or residents to Thailand come to understand, it is that being judgemental about sex is something best left to the gods, and I don't believe in gods. No one is hurt in a sexual assignation between consenting adults, so whether it was done for pleasure or profit is of no import, nor does it reflect negatively on the players. If two people fall in love, that is the only thing that matters.

 

I've met couples here who have made it work. Given the odds of a successful marriage are not great anywhere, no more should be expected of a marriage between an expat and a former bargirl. That many of these marriages do work says no one should be hesitant if the mutual attraction/affection is there.

[Neeranam]

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

Looks like someone got burnt by a bargirl, you can hold onto that for the rest of your life, enjoy every moment of it, or you can let it go, many get burnt by non bar girls, it's just a title, next thing you'll be telling us all is you've never paid for sex because your a hanhom man ????

 

Do me a favour, don't railroad the topic.

 

 

Never been burnt by a Thai prostitute. Used them a few times, but only more than 20 years ago when I was single. 

 

 

[Neeranam]

3 minutes ago, Walker88 said:

Should I ever choose to marry, I really don't care what work she might have done before, even if she worked in a bar.

What if you decided to live in Thailand?

If she worked as a sex worker there is a very god chance that you'd bump into some of her old clients, especially in Pattaya. 

[4MyEgo]

4 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

Guy says on a public internet forum that his wife was a sex worker and gets his knickers in a twist when there is a reaction ????

There's a huge difference between picking a girl up in a bar in the UK that paying a barfine for a prostitute in Thailand, if you can't see the difference you are full of denial. Yes, you will get other mongers that will like your post and make you feel like this is normal. 

Yes, Juicy Lucy in the Star and Garter was easy to pick up and have sex with, I guess many would call her a slag. 

Choosing Buriram Noi, no. 57,  from the Pink Pussy in Pat Pong is a completely different kettle of fish. She has been forced to prostitute herself due to coming from an area of impoverishment; if you think taking advantage of third world farmer girls is OK, hmmm.  You might get some here who fill your head with nonsense like they like old farang as they are different to Thai men but in reality they do NOT like farang men apart from that they are so naive that they believe this BS. Trust me, I am Thai and worked in a treatment centre for alcohol and drug abuse in Isarn, I've heard it all from 'bar girls', a term used by mongers to justify their mongering. The last thing in the world a 20 year old Thai girl wants to do is to give a BJ to a retired Scandinavian seaman, or a 50-year old Butcher from Bognor Regis. 

I don't look down on prostitutes, I had a couple of friends who were in the UK, sadly due to drug addiction. 

I suspect some want to talk about their bar girl wives as they look on them as a piece of meat and marry them for their subservient natures. 

Wow your really deep, and know very little IMO, but please do carry on convincing yourself that you know everything that you said about and let's leave it at that, because I have no time for people such as yourself.

 

As for me getting my nickers in a knot over someone calling my wife a prostitute or hooker, far from the truth, you can call her whatever you like, I sometimes call her the village slut when she is 5 minutes late getting back from the local markets, she is not offended and corrects me occasionally, "village Queen".