Isaan thinking of Falang

[Stevey]

Hi 

 

You’re not forced to read all this guff, but feel free

 

I went for a massage today had a terrible cramp in my leg probably been sitting too long or dehydration or both. I went to this massage shop that I’ve been to before and my little lad came with me (he’s technically not my lad he’s my girlfriends son of five years old. He has only ever known me as his guardian/father although he knows, I think, that I’m not his actual father. But at Five he has no concept of what a father is. His older brother who has never seen his father is a mess. I’ve been in his life since he was 1 year and when I arrived he turned 3 while I sat in the ASQuarantine hotel for the Pandemic nobody actually witnessed except for the nightly graphs. 

 

Up until then he was a grumpy little thing and didn’t take much notice of me on the twice a day video calls from the UK. But I did have some affection for him stemming from previous visits over the last 2 years when I would play with him alone and get him to laugh. Although he still didn’t trust me enough to go to the shops just the two of us, he would get nervous and cry for his mom. I’ve never Hankerd to be anybody’s father, and even when I’ve got back with my girlfriend who I’d been with a few years but had a break and she had a Thai boyfriend she got pregnant by, but then split up with as not enough money was forthcoming and also he discovered her temper and gambling. I never looked at her boy has a potential son for me to take on. I had no interest in this at all and have always maintained that “ i’ve never met a child I liked “. 

 

When I arrived at the house for the big reunion, after over a year stuck in the hotel, little Dang to his Mom and my surprise came running up the garden and hugged me. So that stability and being a constant in his life had paid off. It took a month or so as I remember but little Dang liked having me around and we are no inseparable and everyone sees us round town.

 

My Thai language is definitely not fluent or as good as that tool on here who likes to say he speaks good Thai, I’d love to actually hear it, but even though I picked a book up 15 years ago I stopped learning years ago and being up here in Isaan has forced me to learn a lot of vocabulary due to needing to converse with building suppliers, fishing equipment shops and backstreet motor bike mechanics. Some people understand and some people have no clue what I am talking about. This is the same for native English speakers who encounter foreigners who respond in English. Most English have agile enough brains to work out on the fly what a non native speaker ( or Scots man ) is trying to convey even if every word is incorrectly pronounced. We just get on with it as do the Thai people who realise I’m saying a word incorrectly but can guess I mean a particular word going on the context of the situation, some Thais appear incapable of this. An example comes to mind. Yesterday I was buying some more trees for the garden. Now at this point, I’m in the garden centre I’m standing among some mango trees. There is the owner of the shop and there is the main worker of the shop both experts. The owner says to me what are you looking for ? I then said “ Ao Dton Mamuang “  The owner looked at me, perplexed, and repeated what I just said. I then repeated what she just said. Then the worker who has got a brain the same as a Westerner, in this situation says to her boss.” Ao Dton Ma-Moo-ang “ the fact that I was browsing the Mango trees gave her zero clue what I was going on about.

 

Anyway, I’ve got my mango trees.

 

Now there’s a guy here,on AN, who likes to say he speaks good Thai, I’d love to actually hear it, I go all around town, doing lots of different things, getting motorbikes fixed , massages shops , buying trees, Noodles etc all in Thai/Isaan.  So yesterday I go for a massage with little Dang in attendance in a big Thai style room with beds not single rooms. ** My point starts here ** As usual people love to engage in conversation with Dang to make him feel welcome but these encounters because I can understand the lingo and what they are asking him can sometimes rile me. Because Dang Calls me Steve as his mom does , and not Por or Daddy they will decide to ask him why he not calling me Por. Yesterday one of the usual idiots decided to say “ oh Steve’s you uncle !” to which I was forced to respond “ Not uncle I’m his Por “ The purpose of this is too spell it out that I’m not his biological father and the real winner is the Thai man who’s not been heard of since. 

 

A while back a family run pharmacy in town I have frequent for the past few years were enjoying interacting with Dang one day as we were in the shop and all know I’m his guardian. The Mother said  why don’t you call him Por rather than Steve ? I respond that how it is and I’m happy with that. Then the 70 year old father, who has known us for 4years, gets down to Little Dang’s level and asks “ Where’s you Father ? Where’s you Father ? “ Poor little Dang looks confused and points at me and says “ Steve “. I then tell the father to shut his hole. And the daughters and mother jump in to put him right “ Steve’s his Father “.

 

This is not an isolated incident and anybody like the ‘ and I speak GoodThai ‘ bloke who understands what the locals are saying will know it’s borne out of jealousy and an underlying hatred for the westerner. 

 

A usual one I get is women or men who would never normally engage another persons child in unsolicited conversation in the street but will try and show me that this boy is an Isaan child and not mine. They will start asking him the same questions  what village do you live in ?  what school do you go to? Who is your Mom ? Where is your Mom ? So you have Brothers and what are the names, and where are they ?  How much money do you get to go to school with? They will then take the language to the next level of Isaan where I and Dang have no clue what they are saying.

 

Yesterdays incident was in the Massage shop. Post massage where Dang had sat on a Sofa with two fifty year old guys waiting. I witnessed the first guy earlier grab Dang and I’m pretty sure tried to pinch his penis. Now I’ve had this happen before a couple of years back in the village where an old man resembling old man Steptoe pinch Dangs little fella. This old geezer had took every opportunity to tease Dang over the time I’d been around but I’d let it go. But on this occasion we were at the corner shop and as Dang then 3 sat on the Saleng stunned from being assaulted . I walked over and rather than knock him out which would have killed him I opted for grabbing his junk and squeezing hard and telling him never to do that again. He hasn’t. 

 

It does appear to be a thing here to do this to children, and in fact, Dang started doing it to me of late and that morning. So I decided you know what I’m not gonna die on this hill let’s just let it go. If that I did just happen, and Dang didn’t seem to mind as he was laughing along. 

 

Anyway then the guys decided on the old favourite of advising me to get Dang beautiful hair which is like a bob to be cut military style and shaved high up to the crown. Every boy here I have seen here who’s up to no good has this cut and then others have died hair of all styles. I has a mother stop me outside his school and point at Dangs hair “ Shave it like my Sons !” She said pointing at a semi scalped child in her Saleng Sidecar. I replied “No I don’t like it !”  I do believe she was ‘ Aghast ‘. 

 

I said to this pair of retired brain surgeons in the massage shop. No I don’t like it and why should an edict from a school prevent us from letting our boys hair grow normally. He not the state’s property. To which I replied it to prevent nits and other hair, lice type creatures, procreating.

 

Unfortunately, for these pair of idiots they run into the wrong Westerner. I asked them so when all the five-year-olds are in class and some of them have got hair lice and you want all hair cutting to reduce this. How is it that the girls can have long hair then ? do hair lice exclusively live in Male five-year-olds hair? They didn’t have an answer for that one and I left.

 

Any way that’s all I got. But I shall be able to add some more points as we go on.

[Celsius]

Thanks for using the most painful font

[youreavinalaff]

In your, it's difficult to know exactly how long as your story changes from time to time but less say, 5 years on and off in Isaan you have clearly know learned anything about local culture.

 

Let the attitude go and try to indulge.

[Stevey]

1 hour ago, Celsius said:

Thanks for using the most painful font

I copied it from my iPhone notes App. I wasn’t gonna lose an Epic masterpiece like this. I remember losing a massive trip report to Savannakhet when the page just closed on me.  

[CM Dad]

Stevey, is there a point to your rambling post?

[Stevey]

19 minutes ago, youreavinalaff said:

In your, it's difficult to know exactly how long as your story changes from time to time but less say, 5 years on and off in Isaan you have clearly know learned anything about local culture.

 

Let the attitude go and try to indulge.

I’ve worked the passive aggressive emoji is the confused one. 
 

I guarantee I know more about local idiots than you.

 

Ive heard people say they don’t want to know the language so they don’t know what people are saying about them, ignorance is bliss. 
 

I know when I’m being talked about because people start whispering, even if I don’t understand what they’re talking about at least I know they’re talking about me ????

[Stevey]

4 minutes ago, CM Dad said:

Stevey, is there a point to your rambling post?

Did you read it Dad ? 
 

Just some points I think need making. 

[TheFishman1]

I kind of enjoyed reading your stuff. You should skip around a lot from one thing to another from one subject to another and I’m figuring you you’re bored or very lonely there where you live. Anyways, I wish you all the best living up there with your children and wife TIT.

[BritManToo]

Think the OP has a bit of a death wish!

It only takes one Thai with a machete to take offense.

[youreavinalaff]

32 minutes ago, Stevey said:

I’ve worked the passive aggressive emoji is the confused one. 
 

I guarantee I know more about local idiots than you.

 

Ive heard people say they don’t want to know the language so they don’t know what people are saying about them, ignorance is bliss. 
 

I know when I’m being talked about because people start whispering, even if I don’t understand what they’re talking about at least I know they’re talking about me ????

And therein, for all to see, lies the problem.

[bignok]

2 hours ago, Stevey said:

Any way that’s all I got. But I shall be able to add some more points as we go on.

What is the main point? I skipped over 99% of it

[youreavinalaff]

41 minutes ago, Stevey said:

 

I guarantee I know more about local idiots than you.

Judging by your OP, you clearly know very little.

[Kwaibill]

52 minutes ago, Stevey said:

I copied it from my iPhone notes App. I wasn’t gonna lose an Epic masterpiece like this. I remember losing a massive trip report to Savannakhet when the page just closed on me.  

My freaking IPad seems to do that regularly.

[Stevey]

29 minutes ago, bignok said:

What is the main point? I skipped over 99% of it

No Probs I’ll do an Abridged version… theresalottacบnts

[Stevey]

57 minutes ago, TheFishman1 said:

I kind of enjoyed reading your stuff. You should skip around a lot from one thing to another from one subject to another and I’m figuring you you’re bored or very lonely there where you live. Anyways, I wish you all the best living up there with your children and wife TIT.

Let’s give him some attention….I kind of enjoyed (past tense) ? 

I should skip about abit more on the various subjects? 
 

 

[ignore it]

Hmm.

So how's the fishing up your way?

[newbee2022]

Please continue. I like to read your stories.????

[brianthainess]

4 hours ago, Stevey said:

I’ve got back with my girlfriend who I’d been with a few years but had a break and she had a Thai boyfriend she got pregnant by, but then split up with as not enough money was forthcoming and also he discovered her temper and gambling. I

English is my first language and I'm confused are you with her now ?

[thaitom]

4 hours ago, Stevey said:

Did you read it Dad ? 
 

Just some points I think need making. 

But that's just it, there was no point (points) to what you wrote.

[Stevey]

2 minutes ago, thaitom said:

But that's just it, there was no point (points) to what you wrote.

Does there have to be a point. It’s my opinion on the people up here from the perspective of someone who understands a lot of what is being said. Also I am in charge and moulding the mind of a local boy who is not half-half. It has become apparent to me that complete strangers believe that either because they are advised or because they can see with their eyes he is not a half breed. And they believe that they have the right advice how he is raised and how long his hair is. Can you imagine if you had a half Thai white skinned boy a Thai man selling noodles would suggest that you half white boy should be sporting an anti lice full metal jacket hair cut ? 
 

As you have commented on me. Let’s know a little about your circumstances and experience that qualifies you to literally put red lines through my sentences, yeah this opinion is all phish !! 
 

forgive me if some of this is disjointed, I’m quickly writing it out on an iPhone and pressing submit

[Stevey]

2 hours ago, ignore it said:

Hmm.

So how's the fishing up your way?

Just quoted you in a really long post about my fishing exploits and press submit. I need to submit. That’s the second long post today ! This website is total rubbish. I wish they would spend more time making it work than putting up 15 Ads in your face. 
 

to cut a long story short at the end of my super long post, I say

 

I’ve never actually caught a fish here, after two years of trying with all the gear, and I’ve never heard anybody answer me in the affirmative when I ask them if they’ve ever caught a fish. 
 

Although I’m brilliant with a bait caster now as I’ve had so much practice lure fishing, but never actually managed to hook one, but I’ve had them go after my เฮียบอม ‘Year-a Bomb’ lure. 
 

This is why people go out with harpoon guns and shoot Giant Snake Heads ปลาชะโด Bah-Cha-Doh in the shallows. Probably secret spots told to family members though the generations. Can a moderate see my previous reply to this post I’ve quoted? 

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, Stevey said:

Although I’m brilliant with a bait caster now as I’ve had so much practice lure fishing, but never actually managed to hook one, but I’ve had them go after my เฮียบอม ‘Year-a Bomb’ lure. 

I think we can all agree you're a master baiter!

[Stevey]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

I think we can all agree you're a master baiter!

Ooh.. ggrrr 

[Stevey]

2 hours ago, brianthainess said:

English is my first language and I'm confused are you with her now ?

Left about 1000 words for this, quoting you. Pressed submit, and it didn’t post again.  
 

Mods why does this happen ? 

[transam]

2 minutes ago, Stevey said:

Left about 1000 words for this, quoting you. Pressed submit, and it didn’t post again.  
 

Mods why does this happen ? 

They are fed up too..................????

[Lacessit]

When the OP is adding a few more points later on, perhaps they could add some punctuation as a courtesy to others.

 

Example:

 

A usual one I get is women or men, who would never normally engage another person's child in unsolicited conversation in the street, but will try and show me that this boy is an Isaan child and not mine. They will start asking him the same questions:  what village do you live in ?

 

The title did not tell me much, the post even less. Garbled.

[Stevey]

19 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

When the OP is adding a few more points later on, perhaps they could add some punctuation as a courtesy to others.

 

Example:

 

A usual one I get is women or men, who would never normally engage another person's child in unsolicited conversation in the street, but will try and show me that this boy is an Isaan child and not mine. They will start asking him the same questions:  what village do you live in ?

 

The title did not tell me much, the post even less. Garbled.

I’ve addressed this. I apologise about the messy sentences some of this is garbled but with all due respect I’m not 70 years old sitting in an air-conditioned office in BuriRam. I am 48 going on 40 and I’m very busy looking after a child, running errands planting lots of trees, and not waiting to die. 
 

It’s funny, I thought picking people up on there, spelling and punctuation went out with the Romans since many of people on the Internet or non-native English speakers and it’s now thought petty to pick people up on this type of thing. 
 

Just a quick one at the end what have you been doing today? I’ve had loads on and managed to write you some entertaining posts. The fact that you’ve gone to the trouble to point out where I left  a load of garbled rubbish is a measure of what kind of a man you are. 

[transam]

7 minutes ago, Stevey said:

I’ve addressed this. I apologise about the messy sentences some of this is garbled but with all due respect I’m not 70 years old sitting in an air-conditioned office in BuriRam. I am 48 going on 40 and I’m very busy looking after a child, running errands planting lots of trees, and not waiting to die. 
 

It’s funny, I thought picking people up on there, spelling and punctuation went out with the Romans since many of people on the Internet or non-native English speakers and it’s now thought petty to pick people up on this type of thing. 
 

Just a quick one at the end what have you been doing today? I’ve had loads on and managed to write you some entertaining posts. The fact that you’ve gone to the trouble to point out where I left  a load of garbled rubbish is a measure of what kind of a man you are. 

Talking about, "garbled rubbish", read the above........

[Lacessit]

3 minutes ago, Stevey said:

I’ve addressed this. I apologise about the messy sentences some of this is garbled but with all due respect I’m not 70 years old sitting in an air-conditioned office in BuriRam. I am 48 going on 40 and I’m very busy looking after a child, running errands planting lots of trees, and not waiting to die. 
 

It’s funny, I thought picking people up on there, spelling and punctuation went out with the Romans since many of people on the Internet or non-native English speakers and it’s now thought petty to pick people up on this type of thing. 
 

Just a quick one at the end what have you been doing today? I’ve had loads on and managed to write you some entertaining posts. The fact that you’ve gone to the trouble to point out where I left  a load of garbled rubbish is a measure of what kind of a man you are. 

Obviously, killing the messenger has not gone out with the Romans. Commas in sentences are intended to give the reader a bit of a rest.

 

It's not an apology when you choose to attack me. Perhaps you can explain why, if you are so busy with the various activities you describe, it is possible for you to find the time to write 13 paragraphs of what you describe yourself as guff. Why bother, if you can't express yourself clearly?

 

What did I do today? I did stretching exercises in the morning, cardio in the afternoon. Walked 2 km to a fruit shop and back. Chainsawed and stacked a couple of loads of tree branches for next winter. Watched the first episode of "Sharpe" on Youtube. Spent about half an hour on ASEAN, some of it evidently wasted.

 

 

[TravelerEastWest]

4 hours ago, newbee2022 said:

Please continue. I like to read your stories.????

I also like your story