Social life and dating in Thailand

[SomeFarang]

Quick poll here, to set my sanity straight.... because I'm at the point now I am not sure I am living in the real world anymore.

 

Quick info on me: 40 year old single professional, reasonably successful/wealthy, fairly good looking/in shape, well educated (graduate degrees) American guy of European descent, have been living in Thailand for 6 years, speak and read/write Thai, have my own car, etc. You get the picture. Unfortunate bit, I run my own company which is engineering/software, work late hours, and from home. I don't have much opportunity to socialize, although I do frequent coffee shops, restaurants every single day and on weekends try to visit night spots (bars/clubs)--although I'm getting a bit old for the club scene. Not really meeting any people though this approach.

 

I dated back in 2017 and had instant/unmanageable success on dating apps, seemed like every girl in the country wanted to go on dates with me. I went on at least 10 a week--most were not right for me, looking for sugar daddy, free dinners, or a 'customer'. To make the point, I am looking for a normal girl--someone who does not fall into these categories--rather a professional, educated Thai woman who does not or has never sold her body on the street and is looking for a meaningful relationship that is more than skin or wallet deep.

 

I have now been single for quite a while, have tried dating apps, matchmakers, even hired a few people to work FOR me running dating apps--on top of the ones I'm using myself. Subscribed to everything, great profiles, etc. Even had a marketing girl work on some of this for me.

 

4 months now of employed help, pounding the ground, with me actively involved, absolutely no interest and 0 dates. The only girls that will approach online are either not girls (kathoey) or prostitutes. Every other girl who has a profile that is attractive (i.e., a professional with a cultured background seeking a meaningful relationship) disengages, does not correspond, or in some cases, even blocks me. We're talking like 2-3 lines of conversation in here... I'm not asking them to mail me soiled panties.

 

I've tried EVERYTHING possible, and no results. What the HELL is going on Thailand? Is this JUST me? Are these girls only interested in men who DONT live in Thailand (want a ticket out)? Or do they all want salaries to be a "gf" and they automatically think I won't pay, without asking?

 

At wits end here. I'm thinking about hiring ads for the BTS and MRT next or standing in Asok intersection with a bag of money.

[SomeFarang]

I'm not posting my photo on here, I never said I am the best looking guy.

[Dan O]

Try looking for real live women at the places you go. Most chances on a dating site are repetitive to what you saw yourself. Go to the park, libraries or places of interest to you. It's not hard to meet someone in real world situations with the same interests as you. 

[CharlieH]

If your not catching any fish, change the bait or the location.

 

Stop "trying" and be you, but be more available in the social areas.

[BangkokReady]

From a completely anecdotal and speculative angle, I would say that, in my experience, Thai women seem less interested in foreigners now than they were pre-covid.  I'm not old, but I'm not particularly active in terms of seeking out a Thai girlfriend either.  So it's really just what I "feel" has changed.  (And I'm pretty observant.)

 

Purely based on attention from women in the everyday, it seemed like pre-covid it was a lot more common for something like a girl in a 7/11 to like you and maybe an older women might ask if you speak Thai, then the girl would giggle.  Or perhaps a girl on the street might notice you, smile, or say something.  On dating apps, too, it seems like there are fewer nice looking women than there were pre-covid.

 

What it really feels like is that many Thai women are now scared of foreigners.  Some people will say that isn't the case, I'm sure, but that's what I think.

 

That's probably not much use to you, or perhaps it is, but that's what I think has happened.

[JoseThailand]

Have you tried dating courses? Thailand is one of the easiest countries in the world to find a date. I think you're doing something awfully wrong or your approach is wrong. I have a friend who in his 50s was able to get a 18yo long-term girlfriend (not a prostitute, not a bar girl). Of course, she's not HiSo, but that would be impossible even in Thailand.

[London Lowf]

3 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Stop "trying" and be you, but be more available in the social areas.

Agreed. It sounds like you are putting far too much effort into your search and maybe coming across as needy and/or desperate.

 

Just being in the right place at the right time is how I've met my previous long-term relationships but I do not think that the internet is a good hunting ground apart from gold diggers and freelancers.

 

[realfunster]

I think spending a bit more time developing your wider social circle would help.

 

Don't see any mention of any hobbies or interests ? Not sure coffee shops or nightlife is a great way to meet people and build meaningful relationships.

You can try to get involved in some activity groups in areas that interest you (sporting/intellectual/business (AmCham) & others) and developing some friendships there (male & female). That's obviously going to require regular commitment over a sustained period, a change in your lifestyle and sacrificing a few hours a week away from your business.

 

Why ? You ask.  Well, (1) you may indeed meet someone you like and a shared interest environment gives a less pressured atmosphere to first build up a friendship and maybe move forward from there to dating and (2) the best dating service known to man is when a mutual (..new) friend makes an introduction, that brings more trust and some pre-screening into the equation for both parties. Dating apps and services all have their vested interests and meeting someone 'cold' always has its challenges. 

 

Anyway, I wish you good luck old chap. 

 

 

[blackcab]

28 minutes ago, SomeFarang said:

Thai woman who ... is looking for a meaningful relationship that is more than skin or wallet deep.

 

You will struggle to find that in most countries from most nationalities.

 

It's nearly always about looks and money/status.

[bob smith]

22 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

What it really feels like is that many Thai women are now scared of foreigners. 

it's not just the women it's the blokes as well!

 

they always put their mask up when they see me approaching their vicinity..

 

and no, its not because i've farted, or have bad breath for that matter!!

[TheCowboy]

36 minutes ago, SomeFarang said:

American guy of European descent

Is that code for something?

[ubonr1971]

5 minutes ago, TheCowboy said:

Is that code for something?

just another mixed up American

[StayinThailand2much]

27 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

What it really feels like is that many Thai women are now scared of foreigners.  Some people will say that isn't the case, I'm sure, but that's what I think.

My experience too. Basically two categories of women now; 

 

A) Wants to meet, but is only interested in quick cash, and

 

B) Is either scared of foreigners, or is 55+ years old and/or weighs 110kg.

[stoner]

49 minutes ago, SomeFarang said:

Is this JUST me?

yes.

[JimTripper]

In my experience living here 10 years, you need to be introduced. That usually means having Thai male acquaintances, maybe Thai female also. It can be very subtle as well for a foreigner, for example just involving another person in a conversation or even banter with a server neither of you know. Not a straight up here is so and so she’s looking for a partner stuff.

 

If you can’t do that how are you going to start a family? This is a social country.

 

Get to know Thais in your sphere with STATUS (not broke losers or drunks, no gamblers). Try landlords, business or shop owners, maybe neighbors. You don’t need to ask, they end up introducing people in after they get to know you.

 

Status females kind of need an introduction (which is a recommendation). The more status the person introducing has the better you look (or are ????????‍♂️). Sometimes this is done AFTER they meet you as well, by bringing friends on a date or introducing you to anybody really, they know.

 

Oh yeah, stay away from hookers. Bringing just one back to your place and everyone in community immediately knows you are low status.

 

Good luck out there, buddy. Remember also to wipe with 70% alcohol immediately after any kind of sexual contact.

[save the frogs]

1 hour ago, SomeFarang said:

work late hours, and from home. I don't have much opportunity to socialize, although I do frequent coffee shops, restaurants every single day and on weekends try to visit night spots (bars/clubs)--although I'm getting a bit old for the club scene.

bring your laptop to cafes and spend more time working from coffee shops rather than home.

 

also, go to different restaurants and check out the waitresses. if there's a waitress you like, go to that restaurant often and eventually strike up a conversation. unless you don't want to date a waitress .. 

 

join a gym. 

 

[Pouatchee]

this is the land of plenty. New York, New York, if you cant make it here you cant make it anywhere. if you couldnt back home and you cant here for sure the problem is with you. as others say, you paint a real picture of yourself... keyboard romeo... has that neem coined yet?

[CharlieH]

35 minutes ago, Pouatchee said:

this is the land of plenty. New York, New York, if you cant make it here you cant make it anywhere. if you couldnt back home and you cant here for sure the problem is with you. as others say, you paint a real picture of yourself... keyboard romeo... has that neem coined yet?

Keyboard Casanova has a better ring to it ????

[Chicksaw]

Sawasdee kha, SomeFarang. My name Looknam. I Thai lady good heart.

 

I think you hamsum man working good money must have good lady take care you. I can take care you. I can cooking everything, also can boom boom too much. 555. You like? Joop, joop, dahling. PM me na.

[Hummin]

It is all up to you to create your illusion about how a woman should be, and who fits you.

 

Money is part of it, even not a prostitute.

 

The more Inobserve the Thai Thai dating scene, Im quite lucky with the one  i catch. Simple down to earth Isaan lady with no kids. A few foreigner bf, thats all.

 

And of course I support her

[JimTripper]

9 minutes ago, Hummin said:

It is all up to you to create your illusion about how a woman should be, and who fits you.

 

Money is part of it, even not a prostitute.

 

The more Inobserve the Thai Thai dating scene, Im quite lucky with the one  i catch. Simple down to earth Isaan lady with no kids. A few foreigner bf, thats all.

 

And of course I support her

He’s looking for a status woman who’s educated and making her own moves, not someone who needs monetary support. Get it?

[Gottfrid]

2 hours ago, SomeFarang said:

I dated back in 2017 and had instant/unmanageable success on dating apps, seemed like every girl in the country wanted to go on dates with me.

The answer is simple. Reputation, man. If you were on dates with almost all girls in the country, you are definitely falling under the butterfly section. It spread quickly. Now all mothers in Thailand are warning their daughter for you. ????

[Hummin]

9 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

He’s looking for a status woman who’s educated and making her own moves, not someone who needs monetary support. Get it?

Well, I thought I answered his questions, stating, no posh woman wants a man who do not want to treat her as a princess. 

 

Every woman comes with a price, and the more attractive get in line and present what you are willing to offer.

 

Reading his post, no wonder he is not successful. Get it?

[save the frogs]

43 minutes ago, Chicksaw said:

I Thai lady good heart.

haha,

I Thai lady study MIT astrophysics.

I only look falang big brain. 

[rimmae2]

Gym, companies that you engage for accounting and legal services, local market where people go at lunchtime, etc. There are hundreds of single, young, professional females working for multinational companies, international donors, etc within a few minutes walk from where I live. Sit down, enjoy lunch, smile....Go to the gym even if you don't enjoy it - you may be surprised what you will find.  

[Hummin]

8 minutes ago, rimmae2 said:

Gym, companies that you engage for accounting and legal services, local market where people go at lunchtime, etc. There are hundreds of single, young, professional females working for multinational companies, international donors, etc within a few minutes walk from where I live. Sit down, enjoy lunch, smile....Go to the gym even if you don't enjoy it - you may be surprised what you will find.  

Most independent good asian women with pride, want good asian men with status from good families.

 

Western men have no status or good reputation. 

 

Read most

[JimTripper]

25 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Well, I thought I answered his questions, stating, no posh woman wants a man who do not want to treat her as a princess. 

 

Every woman comes with a price, and the more attractive get in line and present what you are willing to offer.

 

Reading his post, no wonder he is not successful. Get it?

There’s not always a “price”. There’s a thing called chemistry, mutual attraction, vibes…sometimes you can’t explain it.

[Hummin]

3 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

There’s not always a “price”. There’s a thing called chemistry, mutual attraction, vibes…sometimes you can’t explain it.

For sure, and for most attractive women, that means you have status worth their pride.

 

Same as for his pride he thinks he is worth more than he is offered, and not willing to take less. 

[Neeranam]

Join the RBSC, there are well-educated women there. Meet whilst playing tennis, bridge, or in one of the many restaurants/bars.

Bear in mind, opposites attract. 

[rimmae2]

14 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Most independent good asian women with pride, want good asian men with status from good families.

 

Western men have no status or good reputation. 

 

Read most

Not sure what the point of your post is.

 

I know many females who work for donors, accountants, lawyers, etc who would be interested in a relationship with a non Thai, non Asian man. These include females that I previously employed. 

 

Probably you are familiar with different types of people to those in the professional CBD in Bangkok.