For starters - "What f++king iceberg?"

For enders: What f** squirtbag?

Yeh ok, I guess one more won't kill me.

"So, you're a cannibal?"

Triceratops to a T-Rex

" Wow, that's a bright ligh.........Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Do you know the one that's often quoted on stress management courses, something like, "No one on their death bed says I wish I spent more time in the office."

Well, if I'm conscious on my death bed that's what I'm going to say!!!

I told you I wasn't feeling well.

Heard recently by a certain Arab terrorist............" See you Jimmy......biff "

" Well, that was my last beer"

Princess Di's driver.

" One for the road please"

First and last thing said by every Frenchman............................." I surrender "

( usually in German )

That does'nt look slippery.

King Harold - Put that bow and arrow down, you'll have someone's eye out in a minute.

Wish I had time to bash just one more newbie in Bedlam.

Monumental Last Words:- Oh sh1t!

General Custer..................Bloody he-ll. I only came for a takeaway.

"You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes." The Matrix

(wouldya take the red one? wouldya? wouldya?)

Bogart, Humphrey (1899-1957) "I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis."

Byron, Lord (1788-1824) "Goodnight."

Claudel, Paul (1868-1955) "Doctor, do you think it could have been the sausage?"

Costello, Lou (1906-1959) "That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted."

Coward, Noel (1899-1973) "Goodnight my darlings, I'll see you tomorrow." (On going to bed.)

Flynn, Errol (1909-1959) "I've had a hel_l of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it."

Jolson, Al (1886-1950) "This is it. I'm going. I'm going."

Keynes, John Maynard (1883-1946) "I wish I'd drunk more champagne."

Marx, Karl (1818-1883) "Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough."

Rodgers, James W. ( -1960) [American criminal] "Why yes, a bulletproof vest!" (On his final request before the firing squad.)

Thomas, Dylan (1914-1953) "I have just had eighteen whiskeys in a row. I do believe that is a record."

Voltaire (1694-1778) "This is no time to make new enemies." (When asked on his deathbed to forswear Satan.)

Wilde, Oscar (1854-1900) "Either this wallpaper goes, or I do!"

"I saw his body thrashing 'round

I saw his pulse rate going down

I saw him in convulsive throes"

I said

"I'll have one of those

I do.................

It's probably just a rash.

"I'm going to write a novel." Kayo the wabbit.

" You can't kill me " Rasputin

" Next thing you know, they'll come at me with a bloody ice-pick " Trotsky

" Never mind my handicap...I can't get out of this sodding bunker " Hitler.

Spoken in Thai "I've been driving this bus so long, I could do it with my eyes closed"

" You know the one thing I hate about Greek sandals? No support for your aaaarrrggghhhhh " Achilles

"Look, I don't care what you think of her, or her "demonic smile." She's hot to trot. So, if you'll excuse us..."

"Hello handsum man...."

"So this writing here is Thai for 18, right?"

Saroyan, William (1908-1981) a Pulitzer prize winner

"Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case. Now what?"