George Kelly, an American playwright

"My dear, before you kiss me good-bye, fix you hair. It's a mess."

Yes, your arse does look big in that.

Hey Sitting Bull, we're gonna kick your ass!

dont bring a knife to a gunfight...

I swear she means nothing to me.

I was only kidding.

Dam-n it didn't blow.

Ooops here comes a Glaswegian

Here's a few I liked:

I'm bored with it all.

Before slipping into a coma. He died 9 days later.

~~ Winston Churchill, statesman, d. January 24, 1965

I see black light.

~~ Victor Hugo, writer, d. May 22, 1885

Go away. I'm all right.

~~ H. G. Wells, novelist, d. 1946

Sedgwick, John "Uncle John," General (1813-1864)

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance."

General John Sedgwick was a corps commander in the Army of the Potomac during the Civil War. At the battle of the Wilderness, while inspecting his troops, he approached a parapet and peered out over the surrounding countryside. His officers and men urged him to take cover from small arms fire, but Sedgwick scoffed at their concerns, "What! What men! This will never do, dodging from single bullets!"

Sedgwick's Chief of Staff recorded that shortly thereafter Sedgwick saw another soldier drop to the ground as a sharp-shooter's bullet passed by with a long shrill whistle. Again, Sedgwick repeated his remark about the elephant, and the soldier replied that he'd been dodging bullets all day and that if he hadn't, one of them surely would have taken off his head. Sedgwick replied, laughingly, "All right, my man, go to your place." No sooner had the words left his mouth then the general fell to the ground, blood spurting "in a little fountain" from a hole in his cheek, just under the left eye.

that's an interesting story.

"If this is dying... I don't think much of it."

---Lytton Strachey

"..I may be some time." Captain Scott

Brrrr

Mmmm.... tastes strange.

"..I may be some time." Captain Scott

Brrrr

Eek, it was Captain Oates. Scott couldn't find his way to the South Pole, let alone outside the tent.

How's this one?

"These paparazzi are driving me up the wall." — Princess Diana.

Eek, it was Captain Oates. Scott couldn't find his way to the South Pole, let alone outside the tent.

Gawd, showing myself up again. Oh well, im used to it by now.

It's okay, little one, Uncle squirts's watching out for you.

Eek, it was Captain Oates. Scott couldn't find his way to the South Pole, let alone outside the tent.

Gawd, showing myself up again. Oh well, im used to it by now.

That's okay eek, it's an easy mistake to make!

It was the salmon mousse.

It was the salmon mousse.

Hold my beer buddy, now watch me do this !

Eek, it was Captain Oates. Scott couldn't find his way to the South Pole, let alone outside the tent.

Gawd, showing myself up again. Oh well, im used to it by now.

It's okay, little one, Uncle squirts's watching out for you.

That's monumental last words if ever there were

CB

Are you sure this gun isn't loaded?

Wife "Does this make me look fat"

Husband "Honestly?"

Wife "Does this make me look fat"

Husband "Honestly?"

Yes, it does, that's why I am sleeping with your sister.

Excellent!