Would you ever marry a bar girl? If so, why?

[fredwiggy]

8 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I had 2 partners and neither made me happy after the first couple of years. They also cut off the rumpty.

I was so stupid I didn't kick them to touch soon as that happened. Like a fool I kept thinking they might change back to the women I fell in love with- of course they didn't.

People don't change much after around 30. What you had before was what they are. If a woman is neglected and not listened to, they get pissed, and turn off the "rumpty", or at the least do it begrudgingly. A lot will give you sex until they have you hooked because they see money. It's pretty easy to tell a person between 6 months to a year. they can't hide themselves forever. After a couple of years you saw things but might have let them slide, though red flags are always there. It's not about being stupid but desire for them.

[thaibeachlovers]

6 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

A word or two of advice. Those are still your kids, and they can see you whenever they want if they have cell phones. They can visit you when they are old enough to travel alone, if that's not already the case, and kids, no matter what happened between you and your ex, usually want a relationship with the other side, even if they have been brainwashed for years. When they reach adult age, they know relationships go sour, and people lie. I'm also sure they would like to know their half brother and step mother also. One of mine is estranged from me because of her mom, and she doesn't talk much with her siblings because of this. Eventually they remember the truth, and will want a relationship. Some are bitter for many years because of lies told, but when they have kids of their own, they understand how hard parenting is and what we went through. Nothing wrong with having more family, especially your kids.

You reckon his kids will just turn up in Thailand and wander around asking people if they know Mr Soandso?

I doubt he's given them his address or phone number.

[fredwiggy]

3 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Being in a relationship also entails a responsibility to have sex with the other. If one stops, IMO they have no dedication to their partner and deserve to have them play away.

If they don't want to please their partner stay single. Really simple.

If you continue to date and romance your partner, they usually want to make love, IF they are normal thinking and not just in it for the cash. Pleasing goes both ways. I always think of my partner before me. It means more to me that they are satisfied. Damaged goods are very hard to keep happy. Holding grudges from childhood hurts future relationships. Some never let things go so it's best to move on because they might never be happy, and that's mostly their job anyway.

[fredwiggy]

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

You reckon his kids will just turn up in Thailand and wander around asking people if they know Mr Soandso?

I doubt he's given them his address or phone number.

It's very easy to find people these days, unless they live in a tropical rain forest. Being on the grid you leave trails. People talk. Of course he can make the first move.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

People don't change much after around 30. What you had before was what they are. If a woman is neglected and not listened to, they get pissed, and turn off the "rumpty", or at the least do it begrudgingly. A lot will give you sex until they have you hooked because they see money. It's pretty easy to tell a person between 6 months to a year. they can't hide themselves forever. After a couple of years you saw things but might have let them slide, though red flags are always there. It's not about being stupid but desire for them.

Agree with some of that. Both partners and I were over 30 when we moved in together.

First one I was desperate, second one I thought Thai women were different. Where was Batman when I need him?

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

If you continue to date and romance your partner, they usually want to make love, IF they are normal thinking and not just in it for the cash. Pleasing goes both ways. I always think of my partner before me. It means more to me that they are satisfied. Damaged goods are very hard to keep happy. Holding grudges from childhood hurts future relationships. Some never let things go so it's best to move on because they might never be happy, and that's mostly their job anyway.

I always tried to make my partner happy when doing the dance, but I noticed that no matter how many times I made them "happy" I never got any Brownie points for doing so.

[hotandsticky]

5 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I always tried to make my partner happy when doing the dance, but I noticed that no matter how many times I made them "happy" I never got any Brownie points for doing so.

Positive Brownie points are a figment of the male imagination.

 

It always seemed to me that Brownie points could only ever be lost.......................

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, hotandsticky said:

Positive Brownie points are a figment of the male imagination.

 

It always seemed to me that Brownie points could only ever be lost.......................

 

 

How true!

[fredwiggy]

17 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I always tried to make my partner happy when doing the dance, but I noticed that no matter how many times I made them "happy" I never got any Brownie points for doing so.

Always give without any expectation of a return. If they don't do it on their own, then you know what selfish is. Then you find one not selfish. That's where the most important thing in a relationship besides mutual trust comes out. Communication. Asking for what you want, asking them what they want. Talking about everything to become closer. The most important thing a woman wants, besides being able to trust their partner, is to be heard. Men have a hard time actually listening, without being distracted or not caring enough to understand what she is saying.

[Hummin]

4 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I assumed my partners ( both of them ) would play away, so I just told them that if they did that to use a condom and not tell me.

I have no faith in people being monogamous.

 

If I could not perform anymore, should I accept my wife have another lover?

LOL. Are you not aware of all the other ways a guy can make love without having an erection, or do you only have sex with women that only do intercourse?

If I could not perform anymore, Im not sure I would be interested at all, and it takes a passionate partner to manage to turn on a partner right. Im not there yet, and if so happens the other way, she is not interested anymore, then I would think about my options without leaving her, afterall she is my best friend, and the one I like to spend my time with. 

 

 

[Hummin]

4 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

If you continue to date and romance your partner, they usually want to make love, IF they are normal thinking and not just in it for the cash. Pleasing goes both ways. I always think of my partner before me. It means more to me that they are satisfied. Damaged goods are very hard to keep happy. Holding grudges from childhood hurts future relationships. Some never let things go so it's best to move on because they might never be happy, and that's mostly their job anyway.

Happy wife, Happy life

[Hummin]

4 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Being in a relationship also entails a responsibility to have sex with the other. If one stops, IMO they have no dedication to their partner and deserve to have them play away.

If they don't want to please their partner stay single. Really simple.

As much as being a sexual partner, friendship is important, and being a friend with a woman, takes effort and interest in each other sharing daily life and make the best out of what you build together, and also share interests. A marriage or any relationships takes effort and work to maintain. 

[nauseus]

On 8/5/2023 at 8:46 AM, marin said:

Not to sure about this as one of your first threads was how you took a "girl" to Koh Chang and were shocked she expected to get paid. Not only that but for you were genuinely surprised at the predicament you had gotten yourself in.  By the way, when did "Mrs" Smith come along?

Missus did the photography?

[thaibeachlovers]

16 hours ago, Hummin said:

As much as being a sexual partner, friendship is important, and being a friend with a woman, takes effort and interest in each other sharing daily life and make the best out of what you build together, and also share interests. A marriage or any relationships takes effort and work to maintain. 

While I don't disagree about friendship in a relationship, I don't know many that didn't get divorced, and it seems to me that they don't stay together for friendship.

I thought I was friends with my first partner, but it didn't stop her ripping me off when I left her. I think she saw a soft touch after her abusive husband and the "friendship" was more about stringing me along.

Anyway, real friends are few and far between and if we had to be friends with the person we marry most might never do so.

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

16 hours ago, Hummin said:

If I could not perform anymore, Im not sure I would be interested at all, and it takes a passionate partner to manage to turn on a partner right. Im not there yet, and if so happens the other way, she is not interested anymore, then I would think about my options without leaving her, afterall she is my best friend, and the one I like to spend my time with. 

 

 

If she is your friend you are a lucky man and a rarity.

 

Why should it be your responsibility to turn her on every time? Does she only want sex if you make the moves? Why isn't it up to her to turn you on too?

[Gottfrid]

On 8/5/2023 at 8:46 AM, bob smith said:

mrs smith has never asked me for a single penny. in fact, quite the oposite, she pays 80% of the time we go out..

 

Amazing what you can find when you open your eyes a bit, isnt it? ???? 

With that wisdom, maybe it´s time for you to open them, Bob.

[Nickcage49]

Not a chance.

 

Once a whore, always a whore I'm afraid.

 

A friend of mine married a gal he met in a "Turma" in Brazil. That's a Brazilian bathhouse/brothel.

 

Beautiful, charming young lady. Half his age. 

 

It didn't end well. She cheated on him with at least a couple of guys he knew about. He finally ended it.

 

This was a guy with money, good looks, success. He could have done so much better.

 

My theory is, despite the fact that many of these women are nice and charming, that once you sell your body that part of you dies inside. So for that person to make a good long term wife isn't a good expectation at all.

 

In the end they will go for the money again.

 

And my friend lost everything in the US financial crisis. After that she changed. She didn't have a free run on his AX card anymore.

 

Let's face it, in the end they're all whores in one way or another. We pay for it or pay for it.

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, Nickcage49 said:

A friend of mine married a gal he met in a "Turma" in Brazil. That's a Brazilian bathhouse/brothel.

Beautiful, charming young lady. Half his age. 

It didn't end well. She cheated on him with at least a couple of guys he knew about. He finally ended it.

Newsflash ......... they all cheat, even my educated Christian Brit virgin from a good family cheated on me!

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Anyway, real friends are few and far between and if we had to be friends with the person we marry most might never do so.

I don't have sex with my friends.

[BritManToo]

21 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

The most important thing a woman wants, besides being able to trust their partner, is to be heard.

I've always found they want a big house, new car and money to spend.

No woman is ever satisfied, as you found with your 3 mentally ill women, so why make any effort at all?

 

Who would listen to a guy with invisible friends and mentally ill wives?

Your entire life is a fantasy!

Edited August 10, 2023 by BritManToo

[bignok]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Newsflash ......... they all cheat, even my educated Christian Brit virgin from a good family cheated on me!

Hope you told him no more beers from.the fridge then

[bignok]

Just now, BritManToo said:

I've always found they want a big house, new car and money to spend.

No woman is ever satisfied, as you found with your 3 mentally ill women, so why make any effort at all?

True

House

Car

Money

Holidays

 

How bout man does what he wants ie budget travel woman comes along or pisses off.

 

Women will manipulate men no end

[BritManToo]

22 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You reckon his kids will just turn up in Thailand and wander around asking people if they know Mr Soandso?

I doubt he's given them his address or phone number.

My oldest Brit daughter did turn up in Chiang Mai looking for me a few years back.

She wanted to meet for coffee, but I blocked her from my email and didn't reply.

[EVENKEEL]

21 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

My oldest Brit daughter did turn up in Chiang Mai looking for me a few years back.

She wanted to meet for coffee, but I blocked her from my email and didn't reply.

I can only hope this is another fib, why would you not want to meet up? 

[fredwiggy]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

I've always found they want a big house, new car and money to spend.

No woman is ever satisfied, as you found with your 3 mentally ill women, so why make any effort at all?

 

Who would listen to a guy with invisible friends and mentally ill wives?

Your entire life is a fantasy!

You assume a lot, meaning you aren't very bright. We all have seen what you've said about your kids and wife. Maybe you were the reason she left and didn't want you to contact them, although she can't stop that anyway unless you did them harm. Don't try and BS someone who knows. Plenty of women are satisfied if they aren't damaged by other men or their parents while young. Plenty of women aren't greedy and need big houses to show off to people who really aren't their friends. Plenty of women respond to their partner actually listening to them and stay because they are moral thinkers that believe in a commitment. All wives aren't whores. Only women who sell their bodies are. All women are not transactions. That's your thinking because you purchase yours and maybe didn't treat your Christian wife right. What you said that was true, which is a small part of your replies to myself and others, is that mentally ill women are never satisfied, as depression and narcissism wreaks havoc on the human brain, and they find it hard, or impossible, to interact with others in personal relationships. As far as invisible friends, I have no idea how someone who has never met someone else can make such a moronic statement. I have hundreds of friends in 3 countries and all over the US. I treat them right also, and they return in kind. With your background, you really have no reason to get involved with others here, as they know the real you, shown from what you've been saying for years. I gave you advice about your kids, that you should contact them, but before that you said you didn't want to have a relationship with them. That's normal thinking? And you can comment on someone else who loves all of his children and talks to them weekly? I don't fantasize my life. I just take it as it comes.

Edited August 11, 2023 by fredwiggy

[fredwiggy]

45 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Newsflash ......... they all cheat, even my educated Christian Brit virgin from a good family cheated on me!

Women cheat because they were not brought up right by parents, and didn't have a good relationship with their fathers. They also cheat because they have been with too many men, as is the case with many bar girls, and they don't look at men as anything besides cash. Statistically, about 25% of married women cheat. hardly all.

[brewsterbudgen]

13 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Women cheat because they were not brought up right by parents, and didn't have a good relationship with their fathers. They also cheat because they have been with too many men, as is the case with many bar girls, and they don't look at men as anything besides cash. Statistically, about 25% of married women cheat. hardly all.

And men cheat because...?

[save the frogs]

1 hour ago, Nickcage49 said:

Let's face it, in the end they're all whores in one way or another.

yes, but your Phd thesis on dating is flawed and contradictory.

if "they're all whores", as you claim, then what difference does it make if you marry a hooker or not?

don't answer it. it's a rhetorical/trick question. 

 

[fredwiggy]

2 minutes ago, brewsterbudgen said:

And men cheat because...?

Low self esteem, anger, a desire for conquests to feed ego. Sexual needs not fulfilled, sometimes because they weren't treating their partners with love and respect, sometimes because their wives only married because of his money, sometimes because they are damaged goods. Immaturity and the need for variety, thinking they somehow deserve it.

[BritManToo]

51 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Plenty of women are satisfied if they aren't damaged by other men or their parents while young. Plenty of women aren't greedy and need big houses to show off to people who really aren't their friends.

You haven't managed to find one though.

Despite repeated attempts and failures.

Edited August 11, 2023 by BritManToo