Would you ever marry a bar girl? If so, why?

[thaibeachlovers]

On 8/5/2023 at 1:29 PM, bob smith said:

I just dont get it.

 

There are OTHER girls in Thailand that are fit for marriage that happen to not work in a bar.

You dreamer you!

 

When a western, not a prostitute, woman ripped me off way more than my Thai wife did, why wouldn't I marry a bar girl, if I found a decent one that actually loved me.

Edited August 8, 2023 by thaibeachlovers

[thaibeachlovers]

On 8/7/2023 at 10:41 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

Obviously sex is not everything,

Speak for yourself. I only married my bar girl because I wanted a lot of sex without having to trawl through the bars every night.

When she started acting like a western non prostitute woman and cut off the luvin', it was the end of that relationship.

[OneMoreFarang]

58 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Speak for yourself. I only married my bar girl because I wanted a lot of sex without having to trawl through the bars every night.

When she started acting like a western non prostitute woman and cut off the luvin', it was the end of that relationship.

Obviously you are different.

 

Maybe one day you will learn that the right girl can also make you happy the other 23h a day when you don't have sex.

[bob smith]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

When a western, not a prostitute, woman ripped me off way more than my Thai wife did, why wouldn't I marry a bar girl, if I found a decent one that actually loved me.

of course you did mate!

 

thats what they all say 

[fredwiggy]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Speak for yourself. I only married my bar girl because I wanted a lot of sex without having to trawl through the bars every night.

When she started acting like a western non prostitute woman and cut off the luvin', it was the end of that relationship.

Wondering why western women are always getting this attitude, when many are good and loving wives. It's usually that the husband forgets what she was when he met her and doesn't treat her with the same respect when they were dating. Thai women aren't noted for being any better wives than western ones are, and the greed here is way higher than more independent westerners. As far as giving luvin', that depends on how you treat her, especially if you learn to be a good listener. Money can buy sex with some, but it won't work with western women. And when you buy sex, that's usually all you'll get.

[spidermike007]

15 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Who in their right minds would argue that hiring prostitutes is protecting your wife? Cheating has happened sine the beginning of man of course, but it doesn't make it right. Morality has gone downhill ever since then and what happens with the breakdown of a family, which cheating does? The breakdown of a family leads to every problem we have on earth caused by humans. Justifying cheating? Ask your wife is she's okay with that, then get back to us.

"The breakdown of a family leads to every problem we have on earth caused by humans". Really? It causes global warming? It causes war? It causes dumping of waste into the sea? It causes human trafficking? The level to which you are preaching and simplifying is quite something to witness. This is obviously a sensitive area. Glad you are living the perfect marriage. 

Edited August 9, 2023 by spidermike007

[fredwiggy]

19 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

"The breakdown of a family leads to every problem we have on earth caused by humans". Really? It causes global warming? It causes war? It causes dumping of waste into the sea? It causes human trafficking? The level to which you are preaching and simplifying is quite something to witness. This is obviously a sensitive area. Glad you are living the perfect marriage. 

When a parent isn't available or doesn't teach their children respect for others, animals, elders, friends, other races and creeds, and the environment, this is a breakdown of the family unit, because if you're going to have children, those are your responsibilities. If a parent doesn't care, abuses and or neglects their child, that child grows to be a narcissist, and a narcissist is a person that doesn't care about anyone besides themselves, if they even do that, and that lack of caring leads to more problems in relationships, where people, along with the angry narcissist, get angry themselves, and sometimes pass that feeling to others, especially their own children. That lack of respect for everyone and everything IS the reason the world is, and has been, going down all along.                                                                                                                                                                                                Where do you think a human traffickers lost his respect for other humans? Why do wars start? Why would someone dump waste into the sea? What causes global warming? A lack of care for everything around them.                                                                        And I've been divorced more than twice, so I'm not living the perfect marriage. I have a nice girlfriend now that has been damaged by narcissists also, and her fear and anxiety have hurt her all of her life. I'm an empath, if you know what that is, and I care about others, especially those close to me, and treat them with respect and love, and also discipline, as far as my children. That's love.                                                                                                                                                                                   People that don't care for others and treat them with disrespect have no place on earth. Might be hard for a narcissist to understand that, but that's exactly my point. They came from a bad place, and continued that behavior later in life. Every single person that does something intentionally to hurt others is a narcissist, including corporations lead by them, politicians whose only agenda is power, Catholic priests who molest boys, human traffickers who look at people as slaves, and parents who don't care enough about their children to teach them life skills.                                                               And by the way, I'm not putting people down who want hookers. It's when they cheat on their significant other and think it's okay that offends me, along with purchasing little girls and boys who have either been forced into slavery or pushed by scumbag parents, when it was that parents job to protect them.

Edited August 9, 2023 by fredwiggy

[brewsterbudgen]

15 hours ago, thaigrifter said:

I've lived in Thailand for over 6 years so I know the score. Prostitutes are for having a bit of fun with, not for marrying.

Then how do you account for the many successful such marriages?  You may have lived in Thailand for just 6 years, but I don't think that makes you an expert on marriage.

[fredwiggy]

8 minutes ago, brewsterbudgen said:

Then how do you account for the many successful such marriages?  You may have lived in Thailand for just 6 years, but I don't think that makes you an expert on marriage.

But how does one know if a marriage is successful without living with them 24/7? You don't, and neither does anyone else besides their counselor if they have one. Only a professional counselor that listens to both sides, AND if both sides are truthful, can know what's going on and if they can help. Having a big house, two cars, gold, clothes, kids in good schools, etc, doesn't mean people are really happy, nor does a fake smile. Just saying.

[Isaan sailor]

In my Isaan village, and the ones nearby, we have girls that go to college, work retail, get factory jobs, government jobs, food industry, farming, and yes, some go to work in the bars.  Not much difference between them, in my view.

[spidermike007]

4 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

When a parent isn't available or doesn't teach their children respect for others, animals, elders, friends, other races and creeds, and the environment, this is a breakdown of the family unit, because if you're going to have children, those are your responsibilities. If a parent doesn't care, abuses and or neglects their child, that child grows to be a narcissist, and a narcissist is a person that doesn't care about anyone besides themselves, if they even do that, and that lack of caring leads to more problems in relationships, where people, along with the angry narcissist, get angry themselves, and sometimes pass that feeling to others, especially their own children. That lack of respect for everyone and everything IS the reason the world is, and has been, going down all along.                                                                                                                                                                                                Where do you think a human traffickers lost his respect for other humans? Why do wars start? Why would someone dump waste into the sea? What causes global warming? A lack of care for everything around them.                                                                        And I've been divorced more than twice, so I'm not living the perfect marriage. I have a nice girlfriend now that has been damaged by narcissists also, and her fear and anxiety have hurt her all of her life. I'm an empath, if you know what that is, and I care about others, especially those close to me, and treat them with respect and love, and also discipline, as far as my children. That's love.                                                                                                                                                                                   People that don't care for others and treat them with disrespect have no place on earth. Might be hard for a narcissist to understand that, but that's exactly my point. They came from a bad place, and continued that behavior later in life. Every single person that does something intentionally to hurt others is a narcissist, including corporations lead by them, politicians whose only agenda is power, Catholic priests who molest boys, human traffickers who look at people as slaves, and parents who don't care enough about their children to teach them life skills.                                                               And by the way, I'm not putting people down who want hookers. It's when they cheat on their significant other and think it's okay that offends me, along with purchasing little girls and boys who have either been forced into slavery or pushed by scumbag parents, when it was that parents job to protect them.

Well, we can agree to disagree with nearly everything you said. Except the part about human slavery. And, I don't know what hiring a freelancer or bar girl has to do with child trafficking. You are getting yourself very worked up over what seems to be a very sensitive subject for you. 

 

Your presumption about people who don't care for others is astounding. Millions of men have affairs, and care deeply for their wives and families. This is simply a point you are hung up on. The degree of judgments you are making about this is a non starter. It eliminates the ability to have a dialogue. And for that reason, I am over and out. Prefer to discuss things with open minded souls. See ya. 

[fredwiggy]

5 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Well, we can agree to disagree with nearly everything you said. Except the part about human slavery. And, I don't know what hiring a freelancer or bar girl has to do with child trafficking. You are getting yourself very worked up over what seems to be a very sensitive subject for you. 

 

Your presumption about people who don't care for others is astounding. Millions of men have affairs, and care deeply for their wives and families. This is simply a point you are hung up on. The degree of judgments you are making about this is a non starter. It eliminates the ability to have a dialogue. And for that reason, I am over and out. Prefer to discuss things with open minded souls. See ya. 

I'm not worked up. I hate human traffickers for an obvious reason, and a lot of prostitution worldwide involves them, along with children. It's not a presumption when I say you shouldn't cheat on someone you say you love. if you want to get laid by other than your wife, divorce her so she can find a faithful man, period. Then you can buy all the sex you want and not hurt anyone besides the possibility of spreading a disease you or someone else might not get rid of, or die from. That's not just moral, that's common sense.  Because there are millions of men that do this doesn't make it right. Millions of people followed Hitler, Putin, Stalin and others like him, and were duped into believing they were right, all because they might have had some good ideas about other things. Following others bad habits means exactly that. Being moral is the first thing you do in a marriage. I don't care if this is a dialogue or not. I post things to join in a topic. I don't make opinions as they really are meaningless. Facts are facts, and that's what I go by. I never said people don't care about their wives if they loved them. It's possible to love someone and cheat on them. It's just childish thinking and wrong. What if they did it to you? How would you feel? There ar people who have open marriages, which is a sham, but they share partners because they think it's more exciting to have sex with more than one. Try being single instead. Plenty of single women a person can buy or dupe into having sex a few times. if you want a permanent partner, you don't do them wrong, period.

[brewsterbudgen]

2 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

But how does one know if a marriage is successful without living with them 24/7? You don't, and neither does anyone else besides their counselor if they have one. Only a professional counselor that listens to both sides, AND if both sides are truthful, can know what's going on and if they can help. Having a big house, two cars, gold, clothes, kids in good schools, etc, doesn't mean people are really happy, nor does a fake smile. Just saying.

That's true.  I can only speak from my own experience.  Happily married for 7 years, and our anniversary happens to be today. ????

[fredwiggy]

2 minutes ago, brewsterbudgen said:

That's true.  I can only speak from my own experience.  Happily married for 7 years, and our anniversary happens to be today. ????

Congrats!

[Kwasaki]

26 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I'm not worked up. I hate human traffickers for an obvious reason, and a lot of prostitution worldwide involves them, along with children. It's not a presumption when I say you shouldn't cheat on someone you say you love. if you want to get laid by other than your wife, divorce her so she can find a faithful man, period. Then you can buy all the sex you want and not hurt anyone besides the possibility of spreading a disease you or someone else might not get rid of, or die from. That's not just moral, that's common sense.  Because there are millions of men that do this doesn't make it right. Millions of people followed Hitler, Putin, Stalin and others like him, and were duped into believing they were right, all because they might have had some good ideas about other things. Following others bad habits means exactly that. Being moral is the first thing you do in a marriage. I don't care if this is a dialogue or not. I post things to join in a topic. I don't make opinions as they really are meaningless. Facts are facts, and that's what I go by. I never said people don't care about their wives if they loved them. It's possible to love someone and cheat on them. It's just childish thinking and wrong. What if they did it to you? How would you feel? There ar people who have open marriages, which is a sham, but they share partners because they think it's more exciting to have sex with more than one. Try being single instead. Plenty of single women a person can buy or dupe into having sex a few times. if you want a permanent partner, you don't do them wrong, period.

You do realise not everyone is the same.

[fredwiggy]

Just now, Kwasaki said:

You do realise not everyone is the same.

Which is a good thing, but what's your point?

[Kwasaki]

6 minutes ago, brewsterbudgen said:

That's true.  I can only speak from my own experience.  Happily married for 7 years, and our anniversary happens to be today. ????

The 7 year inch. ????

[Kwasaki]

Just now, fredwiggy said:

Which is a good thing, but what's your point?

Your moral guidance on being faithful because your married.

Love and sex can be very different for men and you can be careful.

[fredwiggy]

1 minute ago, Kwasaki said:

Your moral guidance on being faithful because your married.

Love and sex can be very different for men and you can be careful.

I was married. Girlfriend now. Moral means moral, no but maybes. There is a right way and a wrong way. Many choose the wrong way because it's easier, or that they think they deserve things because they're ego says they do. When you're in a relationship that both consider exclusive, that's what you do. If you want others, you stay single. Really simple.

[Kwasaki]

5 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I was married. Girlfriend now. Moral means moral, no but maybes. There is a right way and a wrong way. Many choose the wrong way because it's easier, or that they think they deserve things because they're ego says they do. When you're in a relationship that both consider exclusive, that's what you do. If you want others, you stay single. Really simple.

Well not always that simple with many years within marriages but fair call.

[Hummin]

23 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

Your moral guidance on being faithful because your married.

Love and sex can be very different for men and you can be careful.

If neither satisfied is it ok the woman finds a lover as well? 

 

If I could not perform anymore, should I accept my wife have another lover? Delicate question and situation I believe many could face in a long lasting relationship, especially with an younger wife.

 

How to spice up a long lasting marriage? For sure it will take some dedication feom both parts. 

 

Why do a woman die sexually, and why do a man loose interest in their womon, or the other way? 

 

 

[YITB1980]

On 8/8/2023 at 1:58 PM, fredwiggy said:

It makes a difference now and in your future, and possibly your children's thinking, and their children. Although in a hundred years, and maybe half that, we might not have any more food to feed the population anyway.

So, my great grandkids will have the details on how (and with whom) I spent my time?

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, Kwasaki said:

Your moral guidance on being faithful because your married.

Love and sex can be very different for men and you can be careful.

Morality is a regional variable!

So it would depend on where and whom you married.

Not every culture and religion demands fidelity.

 

In Thailand men aren't required to only bang their wife, but wives are required to only bang their husband. (The wife being the property of the husband).

 

Edited August 9, 2023 by BritManToo

[Hummin]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Morality is a regional variable!

So it would depend on where and whom you married.

Not every culture and religion demands fidelity.

 

In Thailand men aren't required to only bang their wife, but wives are required to only bang their husband. (The wife being the property of the husband).

 

I guess for those who believe that will face problems especially being a foreigner coming to Thailand and treating their wives as their property even they paying for everything.

 

Good luck

[fredwiggy]

17 minutes ago, YITB1980 said:

So, my great grandkids will have the details on how (and with whom) I spent my time?

Someone always talks

[BritManToo]

7 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Someone always talks

Loose lips sink ships!

Don't tell anyone who you are, where you are, what you're doing and with whom you're doing it.

My 4 former kids in the UK, know I have a Thai wife, but they will never be allowed to visit us, meet her or their younger Thai brother, and I don't talk with them either.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 8/9/2023 at 11:01 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

Obviously you are different.

 

Maybe one day you will learn that the right girl can also make you happy the other 23h a day when you don't have sex.

I had 2 partners and neither made me happy after the first couple of years. They also cut off the rumpty.

I was so stupid I didn't kick them to touch soon as that happened. Like a fool I kept thinking they might change back to the women I fell in love with- of course they didn't.

[thaibeachlovers]

17 hours ago, Hummin said:

If neither satisfied is it ok the woman finds a lover as well? 

 

If I could not perform anymore, should I accept my wife have another lover? Delicate question and situation I believe many could face in a long lasting relationship, especially with an younger wife.

 

How to spice up a long lasting marriage? For sure it will take some dedication feom both parts. 

 

Why do a woman die sexually, and why do a man loose interest in their womon, or the other way? 

 

 

I assumed my partners ( both of them ) would play away, so I just told them that if they did that to use a condom and not tell me.

I have no faith in people being monogamous.

 

If I could not perform anymore, should I accept my wife have another lover?

LOL. Are you not aware of all the other ways a guy can make love without having an erection, or do you only have sex with women that only do intercourse?

[fredwiggy]

15 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Loose lips sink ships!

Don't tell anyone who you are, where you are, what you're doing and with whom you're doing it.

My 4 former kids in the UK, know I have a Thai wife, but they will never be allowed to visit us, meet her or their younger Thai brother, and I don't talk with them either.

A word or two of advice. Those are still your kids, and they can see you whenever they want if they have cell phones. They can visit you when they are old enough to travel alone, if that's not already the case, and kids, no matter what happened between you and your ex, usually want a relationship with the other side, even if they have been brainwashed for years. When they reach adult age, they know relationships go sour, and people lie. I'm also sure they would like to know their half brother and step mother also. One of mine is estranged from me because of her mom, and she doesn't talk much with her siblings because of this. Eventually they remember the truth, and will want a relationship. Some are bitter for many years because of lies told, but when they have kids of their own, they understand how hard parenting is and what we went through. Nothing wrong with having more family, especially your kids.

[thaibeachlovers]

17 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

I was married. Girlfriend now. Moral means moral, no but maybes. There is a right way and a wrong way. Many choose the wrong way because it's easier, or that they think they deserve things because they're ego says they do. When you're in a relationship that both consider exclusive, that's what you do. If you want others, you stay single. Really simple.

Being in a relationship also entails a responsibility to have sex with the other. If one stops, IMO they have no dedication to their partner and deserve to have them play away.

If they don't want to please their partner stay single. Really simple.