Would you ever marry a bar girl? If so, why?

[fredwiggy]

It makes a difference now and in your future, and possibly your children's thinking, and their children. Although in a hundred years, and maybe half that, we might not have any more food to feed the population anyway.

[spidermike007]

1 hour ago, NextG said:

Sounds like you’ve spent a lot of time with prostitute(let’s call them escorts so as not to offend your sensibilities).  The low standards are so far embedded, that it feels completely normal to you. How else could you justify your lifestyle?

Are you the best judge of someone who is damaged, especially if you are similarly so inclined? Hint… I don’t pay women to have sex with me… ever. For you, it’s probably no different from ordering breakfast. 

Precisely. Now you understand me. Zero guilt or shame. I treat my woman like a princess. But, after many years the sex is marginal. Yes, I might be damaged. Ha! But, that is on me. Judge me all you want. Means less than zero. 

[NextG]

2 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Precisely. Now you understand me. Zero guilt or shame. I treat my woman like a princess. But, after many years the sex is marginal. Yes, I might be damaged. Ha! But, that is on me. Judge me all you want. Means less than zero. 

I’m not judging. We are simply discussing. 

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, NextG said:

Sounds like you’ve spent a lot of time with prostitute(let’s call them escorts so as not to offend your sensibilities).  The low standards are so far embedded, that it feels completely normal to you. How else could you justify your lifestyle?

Are you the best judge of someone who is damaged, especially if you are similarly so inclined? Hint… I don’t pay women to have sex with me… ever. For you, it’s probably no different from ordering breakfast. 

Low standards would be living with any woman over 50 years old.

[fredwiggy]

47 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Low standards would be living with any woman over 50 years old.

Guess you didn't like your mom or grandma.

[spidermike007]

2 hours ago, NextG said:

I’m not judging. We are simply discussing. 

Well, one could argue your description of low standards, was quite a value judgment. No offense taken. It takes alot more than that for me to take offense. But, I think that is a knock on both the women and my choices in life. One could argue that by hiring women, we are protecting our loved ones. It has been done throughout the course of history. Infinitely more discreet than a mistress. 

[Hummin]

3 hours ago, YITB1980 said:

100 years from now, will it make any difference with whom you spent your time and what her occupation was at the time you first met her?

Thats comforting for some, at least a nice to excuse themselves for their actions. 

 

Anyway bar girls treads will never end, and really do not understand why people who never will touch one have so much to say about it? 

 

I really do not participate in the bar scene myself, but at least I can understand the women, and some men who do, but I really do not have any admiration for any typical bar mongers with no manners or empathy at all for those they use and abuse. Especially younger girls who can not say no! 

[fredwiggy]

15 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Well, one could argue your description of low standards, was quite a value judgment. No offense taken. It takes alot more than that for me to take offense. But, I think that is a knock on both the women and my choices in life. One could argue that by hiring women, we are protecting our loved ones. It has been done throughout the course of history. Infinitely more discreet than a mistress. 

Who in their right minds would argue that hiring prostitutes is protecting your wife? Cheating has happened sine the beginning of man of course, but it doesn't make it right. Morality has gone downhill ever since then and what happens with the breakdown of a family, which cheating does? The breakdown of a family leads to every problem we have on earth caused by humans. Justifying cheating? Ask your wife is she's okay with that, then get back to us.

[fredwiggy]

12 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Thats comforting for some, at least a nice to excuse themselves for their actions. 

 

Anyway bar girls treads will never end, and really do not understand why people who never will touch one have so much to say about it? 

 

I really do not participate in the bar scene myself, but at least I can understand the women, and some men who do, but I really do not have any admiration for any typical bar mongers with no manners or empathy at all for those they use and abuse. Especially younger girls who can not say no! 

That's exactly why prostitution gets a hard rap. Many are forced into slavery by the scum of the earth, for profits, and men are the ones who buy these boys, girls and women. High society men included, as they can afford the higher priced ones. Most of the rest of prostitutes come from damaged childhoods or are forced into it by more lowlifes, their parents who need money. A woman that just gets into it because she wants a lot of money and is damaged isn't the ones a lot of us are against but the children that are involved in the traffickers and pimps lives. Men will buy women because they can't get normal women or can't get younger , prettier women because they are old and either unfit or unattractive. This has been going on for centuries. It's the young innocents that a normal man wants to see protected.

[Hummin]

3 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

That's exactly why prostitution gets a hard rap. Many are forced into slavery by the scum of the earth, for profits, and men are the ones who buy these boys, girls and women. High society men included, as they can afford the higher priced ones. Most of the rest of prostitutes come from damaged childhoods or are forced into it by more lowlifes, their parents who need money. A woman that just gets into it because she wants a lot of money and is damaged isn't the ones a lot of us are against but the children that are involved in the traffickers and pimps lives. Men will buy women because they can't get normal women or can't get younger , prettier women because they are old and either unfit or unattractive. This has been going on for centuries. It's the young innocents that a normal man wants to see protected.

And you have those who claim, the young innocent ones is not that innocent, and know exactly what they signed up for, and deserve every degrading use and abuse. 

 

On the other hand I cant like those who not in the bar scene degrading everything about the girls either. 

 

I have met girls in the bar scenes and kept contact with them over the years, and quite a few of them have ordinary lives today, and seems to do pretty good even many years later. 

 

This is connections from the time I was young and handsome, and partying for awhile and become friends with them, and even living in the same building as many different service workers as well, with a internet cafe at first floor. 

 

I got to know them from a different side than having them on my lap buying drinks for them. 

 

Even the bar girls have a heart, and are also human beings with feelings.

 

Dont treat them as trash, if you have nothing good to say, just leave them alone. 

 

However marrying a bar girl after a holiday or two, forget it! Only by time, you can now, and time is your safety net and your friend. 

 

If not sure you are sure, most girls is there to make money, but some good ones, just want to have a good bf, and some few is actually lucky! 

 

 

[NextG]

49 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Well, one could argue your description of low standards, was quite a value judgment. No offense taken. It takes alot more than that for me to take offense. But, I think that is a knock on both the women and my choices in life. One could argue that by hiring women, we are protecting our loved ones. It has been done throughout the course of history. Infinitely more discreet than a mistress. 

Perhaps it was, though not meant in an insulting manner. 
I mean, if you had slept with 500 women, you might not have an issue with a woman who had slept with 150 men. 
So certainly a different standard. It’s relative, rather than a judgement. 
 

[Hummin]

What do you really like? 

 

https://www.facebook.com/reel/300648379159703?sfnsn=mo

[thaigrifter]

On 8/5/2023 at 9:38 PM, brewsterbudgen said:

Perhaps you should come here and you might find out!

I've lived in Thailand for over 6 years so I know the score. Prostitutes are for having a bit of fun with, not for marrying.

[thaigrifter]

On 8/5/2023 at 8:40 PM, sherwood said:

Yer and I only come for the culture and temples.

Grow up.

I must have hit a sore point, I'm guessing you married a bar girl.

[sherwood]

2 hours ago, thaigrifter said:

I must have hit a sore point, I'm guessing you married a bar girl.

Not a sore point at all, ten years on and happy enough, life is what you make it.

You sound bitter though.

Now go and run to your mamma, struth.

[save the frogs]

3 hours ago, Hummin said:

What do you really like? 

 

https://www.facebook.com/reel/300648379159703?sfnsn=mo

there's quite a few women selling used panties on craigslist.

so a lot of guys must be buying them.

and it allows the women to come on the cusp of prostitution without actually being a prostitute. its a gray area. 

[Hummin]

14 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

there's quite a few women selling used panties on craigslist.

so a lot of guys must be buying them.

and it allows the women to come on the cusp of prostitution without actually being a prostitute. its a gray area. 

Anything that works without degrading others is ok, or what? 

 

Smelly panties is not that bad if it works?

 

Me and my wife have a used t-shirt from each other when separated. A few hours used panties is also ok for me ????????????

[save the frogs]

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Smelly panties is not that bad if it works?

 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 8/5/2023 at 1:29 PM, bob smith said:

I just dont get it.

 

There are OTHER girls in Thailand that are fit for marriage that happen to not work in a bar.

You dreamer you!

 

When a western, not a prostitute, woman ripped me off way more than my Thai wife did, why wouldn't I marry a bar girl, if I found a decent one that actually loved me.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 8/7/2023 at 10:41 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

Obviously sex is not everything,

Speak for yourself. I only married my bar girl because I wanted a lot of sex without having to trawl through the bars every night.

When she started acting like a western non prostitute woman and cut off the luvin', it was the end of that relationship.

[OneMoreFarang]

58 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Speak for yourself. I only married my bar girl because I wanted a lot of sex without having to trawl through the bars every night.

When she started acting like a western non prostitute woman and cut off the luvin', it was the end of that relationship.

Obviously you are different.

 

Maybe one day you will learn that the right girl can also make you happy the other 23h a day when you don't have sex.

[bob smith]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

When a western, not a prostitute, woman ripped me off way more than my Thai wife did, why wouldn't I marry a bar girl, if I found a decent one that actually loved me.

of course you did mate!

 

thats what they all say 

[fredwiggy]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Speak for yourself. I only married my bar girl because I wanted a lot of sex without having to trawl through the bars every night.

When she started acting like a western non prostitute woman and cut off the luvin', it was the end of that relationship.

Wondering why western women are always getting this attitude, when many are good and loving wives. It's usually that the husband forgets what she was when he met her and doesn't treat her with the same respect when they were dating. Thai women aren't noted for being any better wives than western ones are, and the greed here is way higher than more independent westerners. As far as giving luvin', that depends on how you treat her, especially if you learn to be a good listener. Money can buy sex with some, but it won't work with western women. And when you buy sex, that's usually all you'll get.

[spidermike007]

15 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Who in their right minds would argue that hiring prostitutes is protecting your wife? Cheating has happened sine the beginning of man of course, but it doesn't make it right. Morality has gone downhill ever since then and what happens with the breakdown of a family, which cheating does? The breakdown of a family leads to every problem we have on earth caused by humans. Justifying cheating? Ask your wife is she's okay with that, then get back to us.

"The breakdown of a family leads to every problem we have on earth caused by humans". Really? It causes global warming? It causes war? It causes dumping of waste into the sea? It causes human trafficking? The level to which you are preaching and simplifying is quite something to witness. This is obviously a sensitive area. Glad you are living the perfect marriage. 

[fredwiggy]

19 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

"The breakdown of a family leads to every problem we have on earth caused by humans". Really? It causes global warming? It causes war? It causes dumping of waste into the sea? It causes human trafficking? The level to which you are preaching and simplifying is quite something to witness. This is obviously a sensitive area. Glad you are living the perfect marriage. 

When a parent isn't available or doesn't teach their children respect for others, animals, elders, friends, other races and creeds, and the environment, this is a breakdown of the family unit, because if you're going to have children, those are your responsibilities. If a parent doesn't care, abuses and or neglects their child, that child grows to be a narcissist, and a narcissist is a person that doesn't care about anyone besides themselves, if they even do that, and that lack of caring leads to more problems in relationships, where people, along with the angry narcissist, get angry themselves, and sometimes pass that feeling to others, especially their own children. That lack of respect for everyone and everything IS the reason the world is, and has been, going down all along.                                                                                                                                                                                                Where do you think a human traffickers lost his respect for other humans? Why do wars start? Why would someone dump waste into the sea? What causes global warming? A lack of care for everything around them.                                                                        And I've been divorced more than twice, so I'm not living the perfect marriage. I have a nice girlfriend now that has been damaged by narcissists also, and her fear and anxiety have hurt her all of her life. I'm an empath, if you know what that is, and I care about others, especially those close to me, and treat them with respect and love, and also discipline, as far as my children. That's love.                                                                                                                                                                                   People that don't care for others and treat them with disrespect have no place on earth. Might be hard for a narcissist to understand that, but that's exactly my point. They came from a bad place, and continued that behavior later in life. Every single person that does something intentionally to hurt others is a narcissist, including corporations lead by them, politicians whose only agenda is power, Catholic priests who molest boys, human traffickers who look at people as slaves, and parents who don't care enough about their children to teach them life skills.                                                               And by the way, I'm not putting people down who want hookers. It's when they cheat on their significant other and think it's okay that offends me, along with purchasing little girls and boys who have either been forced into slavery or pushed by scumbag parents, when it was that parents job to protect them.

[brewsterbudgen]

15 hours ago, thaigrifter said:

I've lived in Thailand for over 6 years so I know the score. Prostitutes are for having a bit of fun with, not for marrying.

Then how do you account for the many successful such marriages?  You may have lived in Thailand for just 6 years, but I don't think that makes you an expert on marriage.

[fredwiggy]

8 minutes ago, brewsterbudgen said:

Then how do you account for the many successful such marriages?  You may have lived in Thailand for just 6 years, but I don't think that makes you an expert on marriage.

But how does one know if a marriage is successful without living with them 24/7? You don't, and neither does anyone else besides their counselor if they have one. Only a professional counselor that listens to both sides, AND if both sides are truthful, can know what's going on and if they can help. Having a big house, two cars, gold, clothes, kids in good schools, etc, doesn't mean people are really happy, nor does a fake smile. Just saying.

[Isaan sailor]

In my Isaan village, and the ones nearby, we have girls that go to college, work retail, get factory jobs, government jobs, food industry, farming, and yes, some go to work in the bars.  Not much difference between them, in my view.

[spidermike007]

4 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

When a parent isn't available or doesn't teach their children respect for others, animals, elders, friends, other races and creeds, and the environment, this is a breakdown of the family unit, because if you're going to have children, those are your responsibilities. If a parent doesn't care, abuses and or neglects their child, that child grows to be a narcissist, and a narcissist is a person that doesn't care about anyone besides themselves, if they even do that, and that lack of caring leads to more problems in relationships, where people, along with the angry narcissist, get angry themselves, and sometimes pass that feeling to others, especially their own children. That lack of respect for everyone and everything IS the reason the world is, and has been, going down all along.                                                                                                                                                                                                Where do you think a human traffickers lost his respect for other humans? Why do wars start? Why would someone dump waste into the sea? What causes global warming? A lack of care for everything around them.                                                                        And I've been divorced more than twice, so I'm not living the perfect marriage. I have a nice girlfriend now that has been damaged by narcissists also, and her fear and anxiety have hurt her all of her life. I'm an empath, if you know what that is, and I care about others, especially those close to me, and treat them with respect and love, and also discipline, as far as my children. That's love.                                                                                                                                                                                   People that don't care for others and treat them with disrespect have no place on earth. Might be hard for a narcissist to understand that, but that's exactly my point. They came from a bad place, and continued that behavior later in life. Every single person that does something intentionally to hurt others is a narcissist, including corporations lead by them, politicians whose only agenda is power, Catholic priests who molest boys, human traffickers who look at people as slaves, and parents who don't care enough about their children to teach them life skills.                                                               And by the way, I'm not putting people down who want hookers. It's when they cheat on their significant other and think it's okay that offends me, along with purchasing little girls and boys who have either been forced into slavery or pushed by scumbag parents, when it was that parents job to protect them.

Well, we can agree to disagree with nearly everything you said. Except the part about human slavery. And, I don't know what hiring a freelancer or bar girl has to do with child trafficking. You are getting yourself very worked up over what seems to be a very sensitive subject for you. 

 

Your presumption about people who don't care for others is astounding. Millions of men have affairs, and care deeply for their wives and families. This is simply a point you are hung up on. The degree of judgments you are making about this is a non starter. It eliminates the ability to have a dialogue. And for that reason, I am over and out. Prefer to discuss things with open minded souls. See ya. 

[fredwiggy]

5 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Well, we can agree to disagree with nearly everything you said. Except the part about human slavery. And, I don't know what hiring a freelancer or bar girl has to do with child trafficking. You are getting yourself very worked up over what seems to be a very sensitive subject for you. 

 

Your presumption about people who don't care for others is astounding. Millions of men have affairs, and care deeply for their wives and families. This is simply a point you are hung up on. The degree of judgments you are making about this is a non starter. It eliminates the ability to have a dialogue. And for that reason, I am over and out. Prefer to discuss things with open minded souls. See ya. 

I'm not worked up. I hate human traffickers for an obvious reason, and a lot of prostitution worldwide involves them, along with children. It's not a presumption when I say you shouldn't cheat on someone you say you love. if you want to get laid by other than your wife, divorce her so she can find a faithful man, period. Then you can buy all the sex you want and not hurt anyone besides the possibility of spreading a disease you or someone else might not get rid of, or die from. That's not just moral, that's common sense.  Because there are millions of men that do this doesn't make it right. Millions of people followed Hitler, Putin, Stalin and others like him, and were duped into believing they were right, all because they might have had some good ideas about other things. Following others bad habits means exactly that. Being moral is the first thing you do in a marriage. I don't care if this is a dialogue or not. I post things to join in a topic. I don't make opinions as they really are meaningless. Facts are facts, and that's what I go by. I never said people don't care about their wives if they loved them. It's possible to love someone and cheat on them. It's just childish thinking and wrong. What if they did it to you? How would you feel? There ar people who have open marriages, which is a sham, but they share partners because they think it's more exciting to have sex with more than one. Try being single instead. Plenty of single women a person can buy or dupe into having sex a few times. if you want a permanent partner, you don't do them wrong, period.