Why do people on here call Thailand the land of smiles?

[bignok]

Just now, fredwiggy said:

An opinion is what you believe in your mind to be true. A fact is knowledge gained from years researching a particular subject. Research from those professionals that write books, and interview hundreds of thousands of couples and learned what helped them with problems. Some make statements garnered from that research and others might think it's an opinion. If you read 65 books on relationships, depression, narcissism, and raising children from known experts in the field, along with thousands of articles on the same thing, you gain knowledge in those subjects, just like those that go to college and learn from teachers.                                       Teachers are those people who read books, articles and listened to professional  teachers on subjects. Online use has helped many separate the facts from the bulls**t. Some things just work because they have been researched. You can't fly to the moon without researching everything you can about space flight, then applying that knowledge.                                                                                    You can't be a surgeon without reading and listening to other surgeons before you to understand what works. Human psychology is no different. All people do things for a reason. If they were raised in a bad environment from birth, they will be doing things that they think is normal, because that's what they saw growing up. If you're not a reader and researcher but someone who just takes what someone said as gospel because they were attractive to you, or it just sounded right at the time, you might be taking a person's opinion that knew very little about a subject, and thought it was true. When you research a subject, and see that many say the same things, that people act a certain way because of the way they were raised, then you can see them as facts and not just one person's opinion. It is what it is.                                                                                                                                                                                             You can argue the point just to argue, or you can do research on your own to find out the truth. You have proven here, to the observant, to argue just to get a response, although you might agree with what they said. Or you might not know about a particular subject, and argue it because it didn't fit in your world's views, which might be skewed.

People who write books dont agree on everything. Many disagree with Dr Phil for instance.

 

You are claiming your opinions are fact when they are just opinions. You are delusional.

[bignok]

https://counselorssoapbox.com/2017/09/12/psychologists-disagree-about-what-psychology-is/

[georgegeorgia]

They are trying to market Philippines as the same when I was there last year.

.....the "friendly people" with a poster on the wall of a smiling waving Filipino 

 

I never saw one smiling Filipino..all had scowls on their faces 

[fredwiggy]

9 minutes ago, bignok said:

Everyone over 60yo has over 40 years experience. Fred seems to think he's an expert on relationships yet he married a dud from Sisiket.

Everyone over 60 years has experience in their own lives. Some never bother to research anything to find out the truth so just go with what they learned growing up, even if it's wrong thinking. I don't think I'm an expert. This is what I'm into, and when you're into a subject, you try and learn all you can about it. Knowledge is gained, and retained, if it's a passion with you. I married a dud 3 times, because attraction, which isn't a choice, sucked me in, and I didn't get to know those women long enough before I made a commitment to them. This happens daily to millions, and I'm as guilty of it as they are. the reason most marriages and relationships fail is because you don't take enough time to get to know the other long enough to see them in all of their ways. Some people pick partners and are lucky they "fit". Most of us don't. That doesn't mean you don't understand a woman, know how to treat them, or how to do what you're supposed to in a relationship. It means you picked someone that doesn't understand their part in a 2 person relationship, or is damaged from childhood and can't relate to others because of it.

[bignok]

One of the first things that you learn when you start studying psychology is that we don’t really know anything for sure.

 

https://www.healthguidance.org/entry/18633/1/why-psychologists-disagree-and-how-to-make-head-and-tail-of-conflicting-advice.html

 

 

[bignok]

2 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Everyone over 60 years has experience in their own lives. Some never bother to research anything to find out the truth so just go with what they learned growing up, even if it's wrong thinking. I don't think I'm an expert. This is what I'm into, and when you're into a subject, you try and learn all you can about it. Knowledge is gained, and retained, if it's a passion with you. I married a dud 3 times, because attraction, which isn't a choice, sucked me in, and I didn't get to know those women long enough before I made a commitment to them. This happens daily to millions, and I'm as guilty of it as they are. the reason most marriages and relationships fail is because you don't take enough time to get to know the other long enough to see them in all of their ways. Some people pick partners and are lucky they "fit". Most of us don't. That doesn't mean you don't understand a woman, know how to treat them, or how to do what you're supposed to in a relationship. It means you picked someone that doesn't understand their part in a 2 person relationship, or is damaged from childhood and can't relate to others because of it.

Marriages fail cause people grow apart or want sex with many people. Lots of guys want to have sex with many people. Also money, kids, life in general.

[fredwiggy]

4 minutes ago, bignok said:

People who write books dont agree on everything. Many disagree with Dr Phil for instance.

 

You are claiming your opinions are fact when they are just opinions. You are delusional.

I think Dr. Phil knows his stuff, but is more of an actor than  anything else. If you ever read a book on relationships, and I'm guessing you haven't, you would see, IF you read many books on a particular subject, that they will all agree on basic principles that work. People are people, with only  a few personality types, and all respond to certain stimuli. If two people grow up in a loving environment from childhood, and are attracted to each other, that relationship will be a good one, IF they both have the same future plans, about children, where to live, work, making time for each other, no infidelity or abuse on either one's part,and not letting anyone interfere in their relationship. This isn't an opinion but what has worked for many couples. Do you understand what makes a fact a fact, and an opinion an opinion. Look it up before you reply, because again, you aren't saying much by disagreeing with me.

[bignok]

Just now, fredwiggy said:

I think Dr. Phil knows his stuff, but is more of an actor than  anything else. If you ever read a book on relationships, and I'm guessing you haven't, you would see, IF you read many books on a particular subject, that they will all agree on basic principles that work. People are people, with only  a few personality types, and all respond to certain stimuli. If two people grow up in a loving environment from childhood, and are attracted to each other, that relationship will be a good one, IF they both have the same future plans, about children, where to live, work, making time for each other, no infidelity or abuse on either one's part,and not letting anyone interfere in their relationship. This isn't an opinion but what has worked for many couples. Do you understand what makes a fact a fact, and an opinion an opinion. Look it up before you reply, because again, you aren't saying much by disagreeing with me.

You are confused. Books on relationships are just vague generalisations. Ive read a few.

 

5 plus 5 is 10. That is a fact.

 

Relationships are just a jumbled mess of ideas. There is no perfect way.

 

 

[FolkGuitar]

On 10/1/2023 at 9:01 AM, bob smith said:

I personally call it the land of fake smiles. 

 

I wonder if that's the same as when we greet a stranger and say (not ask...) "How are you." Or the standard New Yorker intro; 'Ha ya doin?' We are not really looking for an answer, just being polite.

I know that I when I smile at strangers, it's just a polite acknowledgement that they exist within the same sphere as me, with no other particular meaning what so ever, and because I'm happy enough myself and so usually smiling!

[fredwiggy]

4 minutes ago, bignok said:

One of the first things that you learn when you start studying psychology is that we don’t really know anything for sure.

 

https://www.healthguidance.org/entry/18633/1/why-psychologists-disagree-and-how-to-make-head-and-tail-of-conflicting-advice.html

 

 

You're looking for links on subjects that I've probably read 30 years ago. That's saying the same thing I have been. Are these people just making their own opinions, or are they going by the tried and true, that all other professionals agree on? Again , some things work if they are used in couples therapy because both people are trying to make a relationship work, and either one or both don't know what makes a relationship work, so they turn to someone who has experience working with many couples and knows what advice to give them. IF they put that advice to work, it will work. People are stubborn, narcissists, depression prone, and have their own way of growing up and thinking their way is right, and sometimes what works for one couple might need to be tweaked for another. People are still  people, and if they are willing to help each other, it will work.

[fredwiggy]

I'm not near confused but you certainly are. I fully doubt you have ever read any books on psychology. Read one book, and you'll maybe get it. Cognitive therapy by Aaron Beck. Then come back and you won't respond because then you might understand what I'm saying.

[fredwiggy]

12 minutes ago, bignok said:

Marriages fail cause people grow apart or want sex with many people. Lots of guys want to have sex with many people. Also money, kids, life in general.

People grow apart because they never learned how to relate to someone of the opposite sex. That's learned in childhood, children watching how their parents get along. their first teachers. People who want sex with many people are damaged. You might hear that's it just a man thing, bt it's actually an immature boy's thinking. Conquering many women isn't looking at them as anything besides objects. Men that think like that shouldn't hurt a good woman's heart. Stick with paid sex, the damaged going with the damaged. Lots of guys are wrong, as well as lots of women, but the world isn't a fair place, and evil often hurts the innocents. Marriages fail for many reasons. Damaged people, greed, lack of communication, infidelity, abuse, or just plain different future plans on many things. You have definitely not read any books on the subject or not retained them, because you are again, just putting up a few words just to argue, and haven't made a valid point.

[fredwiggy]

37 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

The comment refers to the fact that even a prostitute can fall in love, get married and have a good life with a partner.

Doesn't matter how many men she has sex with, she can always make love if she chooses to. Having sex does not per se make anyone hard. IMO the prostitutes that fit your opinion are already damaged before they become prostitutes, and probably became prostitutes BECAUSE they were already damaged.

 

NB my discussion of prostitutes refers only to those working in the farang scene in Thailand, not forced drug addled whores that one might meet in such places as London.

People become prostitutes because they ARE damaged, either by abuse from family or someone else, or their parents forced them into becoming one by telling them they had to contribute, and they thought they could make more money selling their bodies instead of working a legitimate job. A prostitute is still a woman, with wants and desires like other women, and of course they can fall in love and get married, which is most women's dream. To be taken care of. The longer they sell their wares, the harder they become, and they look at their partners differently than a woman that has never done this. Some women come from a loving family and still look at men as ATM's, because they have friends who swayed their thinking, as many people do if they have friends that aren't looking at their best interests.

[BritManToo]

4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

People become prostitutes because they ARE damaged, either by abuse from family or someone else,

Or they like sex with random guys or they're too lazy to work normal jobs, or they're alcoholics/druggies.

 

Why do some men want to believe it's never the woman's fault?

 

How about your 3 crazy wives?

Was that their fault or someone else fault? Or your fault?

 

Edited October 2, 2023 by BritManToo

[fondue zoo]

23 hours ago, bignok said:

Why you laughing? Why you serious?

 

I think Thais prefer neutral faces.

 

I have a resting bastard face so I'm good.

 

[fredwiggy]

11 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Or they like sex with random guys or they're too lazy to work normal jobs, or they're alcoholics/druggies.

 

Why do some men want to believe it's never the woman's fault?

 

How about your 3 crazy wives?

Was that their fault or someone else fault? Or your fault?

 

In my case it was their fault. And for exactly the same reasons. An abusive and neglective childhood. They brought that narcissism into our relationship and the end result is what it is. All you need to do to understand is to look up the definition of covert narcissism. It explains why and what they do. Not malignant narcissism like most world leaders and dictators. My ex's were not all bad. It's that they couldn't get out of their own ingrained behavior, and when you do it to my child, you are going to lose in the end. Women that are lazy, druggies, alcoholics or want sex with random guys are damaged. It's up to them to fix themselves, if they can.

Edited October 2, 2023 by fredwiggy

[fondue zoo]

8 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

People become prostitutes because they ARE damaged, either by abuse from family or someone else, or their parents forced them into becoming one by telling them they had to contribute, and they thought they could make more money selling their bodies instead of working a legitimate job. A prostitute is still a woman, with wants and desires like other women, and of course they can fall in love and get married, which is most women's dream. To be taken care of. The longer they sell their wares, the harder they become, and they look at their partners differently than a woman that has never done this. Some women come from a loving family and still look at men as ATM's, because they have friends who swayed their thinking, as many people do if they have friends that aren't looking at their best interests.

 

oh my, so much to unravel in there.

 

What about?

 

 

[fredwiggy]

2 minutes ago, fondue zoo said:

 

oh my, so much to unravel in there.

 

What about?

 

 

A gigolo is a man that uses his genetic looks to seduce, then use, women. Sexual services for older women in exchange for money. No conscience, having sex with someone you're not attracted to.

[bignok]

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

People grow apart because they never learned how to relate to someone of the opposite sex. That's learned in childhood, children watching how their parents get along. their first teachers. People who want sex with many people are damaged. You might hear that's it just a man thing, bt it's actually an immature boy's thinking. Conquering many women isn't looking at them as anything besides objects. Men that think like that shouldn't hurt a good woman's heart. Stick with paid sex, the damaged going with the damaged. Lots of guys are wrong, as well as lots of women, but the world isn't a fair place, and evil often hurts the innocents. Marriages fail for many reasons. Damaged people, greed, lack of communication, infidelity, abuse, or just plain different future plans on many things. You have definitely not read any books on the subject or not retained them, because you are again, just putting up a few words just to argue, and haven't made a valid point.

Just your opinion

Not fact

[fredwiggy]

7 minutes ago, bignok said:

Just your opinion

Not fact

I don't make opinions, because they aren't always true. I tell things as they are. You don't understand the subject, so you are making your own opinion. Spend a few weeks reading up on relationships, the psychology of them, why people do what they do, and what makes a relationship work and why most fail, and you'll understand that attraction is the downfall of most of them, because it doesn't show the real person until time is spent. Some people stay in relationships that are abusive, neglective or are taken for granted because of financial fear. Some quit good relationships because they have never learned how to relate to others of the opposite sex. Some are lucky in their choices and find someone that's right for them in most every way. These aren't opinions but what happens every day, everywhere.

[fredwiggy]

On 10/1/2023 at 9:09 AM, novacova said:

I don’t know about the UK, but for the US it’s Open Borders!!

The US doesn't have open borders. That's an assumption made by someone who's never been there, and only reads a few lines about how many get into the US illegally. They are deported quickly, and they still keep coming.

[fredwiggy]

Double post by accident.

Edited October 2, 2023 by fredwiggy

[novacova]

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

The US doesn't have open borders. That's an assumption made by someone who's never been there, and only reads a few lines about how many get into the US illegally. They are deported quickly, and they still keep coming.

Well then obviously you never lived there, as I am an American citizen. Anyone can play the game of semantics and deny themselves into delusion that the current US government doesn’t have an unwritten policy of open borders that is controlled by Mexican drug cartels who kidnap children and sell them into sex slavery, who rape women, deliver synthetic opioids that is killing thousands. All brought to you by your dear leaders in the US government.

[novacova]

2 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

People become prostitutes because they ARE damaged, either by abuse from family or someone else, or their parents forced them into becoming one by telling them they had to contribute, and they thought they could make more money selling their bodies instead of working a legitimate job. A prostitute is still a woman, with wants and desires like other women, and of course they can fall in love and get married, which is most women's dream. To be taken care of. The longer they sell their wares, the harder they become, and they look at their partners differently than a woman that has never done this. Some women come from a loving family and still look at men as ATM's, because they have friends who swayed their thinking, as many people do if they have friends that aren't looking at their best interests.

Than you for sharing your experiences, it much appreciated 

[fredwiggy]

Just now, novacova said:

Well then obviously you never lived there, as I am an American citizen. Anyone can play the game of semantics and deny themselves into delusion that the current US government doesn’t have an unwritten policy of open borders that is controlled by Mexican drug cartels who kidnap children and sell them into sex slavery, who rape women, deliver synthetic opioids that is killing thousands. All brought to you by your dear leaders in the US government.

Actually I lived there the first 62 years of my life, and half of that in Texas, near the border, and I'm well aware of what still goes on there. You thinking the US government has a policy of working with drug cartels, and that they are in charge, for trafficking, raping women, and the delivery of synthetic opioids is as ridiculous a statement that I've ever heard. Where do people get these things from? Some people believe lies and bull**it spewed at the nearest bar and believe them to be true. Naive to the core. Show proof of this or don't assume. People have been bringing things into the US from all borders for years, and they can't keep up with this and the illegal immigrants because it sells. The US citizens are the ones paying for the crapola that comes in. The government uses snitches to catch these kinds. The drug trade will never slow down because of supply and demand. Demand for drugs from people who live in the US, and rich people who pay these illegal immigrants to work there. In the gun trade, I met, and knew, more than a few US border patrol agents, Texas Rangers, and local police who were, are, involved with all of this. Don't assume, or make guesses, because the truth is a different matter. Look at the stats of drug cartel leaders and those who traffic humans. They don't get off easy if at all when caught.

[cdemundo]

I don't know ...

 

But I wonder how Thai expats got the reputation of being bitter, nasty old men.

 

On this forum they are always so cheery and pleasant.

Edited October 2, 2023 by cdemundo

[novacova]

6 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Actually I lived there the first 62 years of my life, and half of that in Texas, near the border, and I'm well aware of what still goes on there. You thinking the US government has a policy of working with drug cartels, and that they are in charge, for trafficking, raping women, and the delivery of synthetic opioids is as ridiculous a statement that I've ever heard. Where do people get these things from? Some people believe lies and bull**it spewed at the nearest bar and believe them to be true. Naive to the core. Show proof of this or don't assume. People have been bringing things into the US from all borders for years, and they can't keep up with this and the illegal immigrants because it sells. The US citizens are the ones paying for the crapola that comes in. The government uses snitches to catch these kinds. The drug trade will never slow down because of supply and demand. Demand for drugs from people who live in the US, and rich people who pay these illegal immigrants to work there. In the gun trade, I met, and knew, more than a few US border patrol agents, Texas Rangers, and local police who were, are, involved with all of this. Don't assume, or make guesses, because the truth is a different matter. Look at the stats of drug cartel leaders and those who traffic humans. They don't get off easy if at all when caught.

Yeah right whatever and good luck with that. Please do pay attention and don’t let the media get ahold of you. 
 

My late wife’s cousin lives in Brownsville, he is a CPB-gs12 and I’ve had extensive discussions with him over the decades about the nonsense that is allowed at the border. He and his colleagues are throughly disgusted because they are restrained by the DHS from fully implementing law enforcement which is to secure the border and immediately turn away illegal immigrants, instead they are being overwhelmed by a flood of pseudo asylum seekers. Again, good luck with all that. 
 

Now back to the topic…don’t forget to smile and say d-krup to old Thais when you’re out and about.

[bignok]

2 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

I don't make opinions, because they aren't always true. I tell things as they are. You don't understand the subject, so you are making your own opinion. Spend a few weeks reading up on relationships, the psychology of them, why people do what they do, and what makes a relationship work and why most fail, and you'll understand that attraction is the downfall of most of them, because it doesn't show the real person until time is spent. Some people stay in relationships that are abusive, neglective or are taken for granted because of financial fear. Some quit good relationships because they have never learned how to relate to others of the opposite sex. Some are lucky in their choices and find someone that's right for them in most every way. These aren't opinions but what happens every day, everywhere.

You are posting gibberish

 

 

 

[fredwiggy]

3 minutes ago, bignok said:

You are posting gibberish

 

 

 

Because you don't comprehend something because of a lack of experience and knowledge doesn't make it gibberish.

[bignok]

42 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Because you don't comprehend something because of a lack of experience and knowledge doesn't make it gibberish.

You are posting 1 opinion only. Everybody is different. Your opinion is not facts.

 

A fact is 5 +5 = 10.

 

A theory on relationships might hold true 50% to 75% of the time.