Being a loner in retirement

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, Des1 said:

I would suggest you have taken this off topic .. it's not so much about female companionship but rather just engaging with others. At least that is how I read the OP

For some of us paid female company is the only option.

[Des1]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

For some of us paid female company is the only option.

again.. missing the point

[Seeall]

24 minutes ago, hotandsticky said:

 

As long as you have come to terms with dying alone, (worse, almost dying alone - and then dying BECAUSE you were alone) that is fine.

 

Some people worry about that.

yes another good point....  dying oneself... so what...  but loved ones mourniong, missing and your affairs left behind to sort out... not nice... if you love them clean up your <deleted> 

Makes me think about wills here in TH .. after you have gone you cant come back to fix things up if its not correct.... a dilema... I guess best is complete POA to someone...

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, Des1 said:

again.. missing the point

I have no idea of what point you are trying to make.  This is the Pub subforum and is for talking like we were in the pub. It doesn't have to be serious. Within reason any opinion is OK.

[Des1]

4 minutes ago, LALes said:

I had enough of slob roomates in my 20s and determined to live alone after that.  Never married either.  Had a few regular girlfriends here and there but they also had their own places.  I've been able to avoid serious drama in my life and have traveled the world solo.  I have friends in Thailand I meet for dinners to get in the necessary social interaction but I consider myself a loner at heart and wouldn't have it any other way.

So, you don't really fit in the category of the OP. You have a good life and you enjoy the company of others. Excellent!

[Des1]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I have no idea of what point you are trying to make.  This is the Pub subforum and is for talking like we were in the pub. It doesn't have to be serious. Within reason any opinion is OK.

ok

[scubascuba3]

22 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

My wife loved dancing with me in there.

Find a new one

[proton]

45 minutes ago, Jackbenimble said:

What a great question! I thoroughly enjoy my own company but would definately struggle being totally alone. 

A dog would ease the loneliness as they are usually better friends than most humans anyway. But even then human interaction would be required even at a rudimetary level.........like a cleaner 2-3 times/week. I'm not much of a beer drinker so the pub scene wouldn't hold much sway for me. 

I find just sitting in a busy park and watching the world go by can be immensely satisfying too. People do stop and smile and nod and sometimes sit down and say Hello. 

Isolation is used as a punishment in jails and for good reason........as a species we need interaction or we begin to lose our grasp of reality.

Dogs are not your 'friend' they just want food, that it.

[SunsetT]

I recognised a long time ago that I am not like most people. Most people say they like being alone some of the time but with people most of the time. I am opposite to that. I need to be alone or by myself most of the time but with people some of the time. I am never more content then when I am by myself or alone. Often a chat or 2 in passing during the day is enough social contact for me, but in Thailand I find that meeting and conversing with other mostly native English speakers is essential sometimes. Sometimes when I do so, it feels like a pressure relief valve has been opened and the relief afterwards is palpable.

Edited October 9, 2023 by SunsetT

[Des1]

23 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

Problem is....we don't know when we are actually going to go unless the doctor gives you a approx time eg terminal cancer 

Not sure what you mean?

[FlorC]

48 minutes ago, hotandsticky said:

 

As long as you have come to terms with dying alone, (worse, almost dying alone - and then dying BECAUSE you were alone) that is fine.

 

Some people worry about that.

Another thing I don't understand . What does it matter if I'm dying alone or some family member or friend is there with me ?

I'm more worried about the assets I leave behind.

[wombat]

with the net and FaceTime you are never alone

[Des1]

1 minute ago, wombat said:

with the net and FaceTime you are never alone

you are more alone than ever!

[SunsetT]

22 hours ago, Trippy said:

After working with the public for 35 years, I'm very happy living alone.

But I do occasionally get together with friends.  

Me too. Most of my working life has been working with people and the public, so Ive always been content to go home and be alone rather than needing to socialise.

[Lemsta69]

20 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

7am each morning

As opposed to 7am each night? ????

[4MyEgo]

Couldn't be alone, been there, done that and at times I liked it, but after going out with company and then coming home to an empty house made me feel alone. If I was busy with work, I didn't mind, O/T, extra shifts, but home alone, wasn't really for me.

 

I enjoy being around people, don't get me wrong, relationships can be hard, had a few go south, but being married over 16 years now with kids, reminds me well and truly that I am not alone and alive, so much noise, frustration, challengers, and then there is the positive sides of it all, so it is a balancing act, the struggle of life with others, however it does make it easier if you have your own big man cave where you can shelter ????

 

 

 

 

Edited October 9, 2023 by 4MyEgo

[SunsetT]

20 hours ago, FlorC said:

Same here , since 2007.

I only want to be alone.

I don't know what lonelyness is .

The only time I used to feel uncomfortably alone when content to live on my own for years in the UK was at Christmas. With the Christmas build up and the palpable hysteria on Christmas Eve and nearly everyone in the homes around me disappearing to be with friends and family over Christmas, it felt really strange and as if I should be accepting invitations and/or doing something special. But I preferred to choose not to and to treat it like any other day. I love it here in Thailand, where, beyond the Christmas carols and decorations in the supermarkets attempting to cash in, nothing happens on Christmas day and Christmas comes and goes like any other day.

[JimTripper]

The 'neptune society' has a program for solo decreased. you pay while your alive and company representatives will collect your body and do a burial at sea. i think it includes repriation costs.

 

i'm not sure how they find out your gone though. must have a note on the public record to contact them in case of emergency or some such thing. eventually, they would probably get your body or what remained of it.

Edited October 9, 2023 by JimTripper

[Seeall]

1 hour ago, Des1 said:

again.. missing the point

we all pay sooner or later..  its female DNA.. all my life I only met 2 girls then married down financially..  and I doubt they are still together...

I keep calling shakira, but for some reason she wont call back...

[Skeptic7]

Not sure anyone lives totally alone, unless stranded on an uninhabited island. Think Robinson Crusoe or Cast Away. I actually met this guy Steve in Chiang Mai last year, through a mutual friend, before he settled in Turtle Beach. Had lunch with him. He had just returned to Thailand after 20 years. He was on his way up to Phrae to fulfill his Thai amulet mission, which be got from an Indian (Native American) woman in New Mexico. Nice guy and interesting fellow, but like most "loners"...they are not quite as alone as they claim. Sure it's okay for a stretch, but ultimately gets to almost everyone. While he certainly is isolated more than most down there, it's far from complete isolation and absolute solitude. That takes a psychological toll after a while. He's very interactive daily with the locals as well as with the other foreigners choosing to live there. 

[Des1]

1 hour ago, Seeall said:

we all pay sooner or later..  its female DNA.. all my life I only met 2 girls then married down financially..  and I doubt they are still together...

I keep calling shakira, but for some reason she wont call back...

I'm not sure why my comments regarding the original OP post got so off course. It's not about whatever girlfriend you may or may not have .. it was about general social interaction.. at least that is how I read it. Nevermind the GIRLFRIEND aspect... that is not the question....sheesh!

[crazykopite]

I live here by myself since December 2019 when my wife returned to the U.K. for a holiday Covid arrived she couldn’t get back and in the end decided to stay there permanently if I’m honest I think Covid did her a favour it was a way of getting out . Now October 2023 I’ve survived happily on my own I have a cleaning lady who comes once a week her English is little but having been cleaning for me for the last 2+ years she doesn’t need telling what to do . I go out twice a week to play pool and meet friends during the day I chill out maybe go on my paddle board or take a dip in the sea as I live on the beach I’m more than happy with my own company I should mention I do have a cat who is adorable on occasions I might have a massage at home I’m not into bar girls especially when the bar wants you to cough up a 500 baht fine , i Tend to use Tinder but since Covid I find a lot of them are Free lancers . At 72 years young my sister who lives in the U.K. worries what would happen to me on my own the longest I was ill  for was two weeks I survived I always have canned food in as a reserve . I tell my sister not to worry if I die at least the cat won’t starve she will be able to chew on me ( Joking ) I did let a nice Thai lady stay with me for three months it was a nightmare but her cooking was out of this world . I am more than happy with my life style do I need a woman to live with me NO but you never know one day the right one might suddenly appear ????

Edited October 9, 2023 by crazykopite

[Des1]

1 hour ago, Seeall said:

we all pay sooner or later..  its female DNA.. all my life I only met 2 girls then married down financially..  and I doubt they are still together...

I keep calling shakira, but for some reason she wont call back...

sorry...again if you listen to the OP your comments have no relevance. No one is asking about your girlfriend experience.

 

 

 

[Des1]

1 minute ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

myself as well.......so it is possible to be at peace and alone.....just ask a monk!

seriously... how many monks really live a celibate life? Like all religion it's do as I say, not as I do.

[Des1]

1 minute ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

Im not a monk but pretty much live that way since I dont pay to play here.....

you should become a monk...get it for free

 

[SunsetT]

2 hours ago, JimTripper said:

The 'neptune society' has a program for solo decreased. you pay while your alive and company representatives will collect your body and do a burial at sea. i think it includes repriation costs.

 

i'm not sure how they find out your gone though. must have a note on the public record to contact them in case of emergency or some such thing. eventually, they would probably get your body or what remained of it.

Just for US citizens?

[Des1]

13 minutes ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

Im not a monk but pretty much live that way since I dont pay to play here.....

ok...easy to make a smartass comment, but instead I will say I respect any lifestlyle people choose as long as they do not harm others.

[BusyB]

There's a world of difference between being alone, and being lonely. You can be lonely in the middle of a crowd. 

[hotandsticky]

4 hours ago, Des1 said:

There is the old saying .."we all die alone". I suppose that is true but on our deathbed does it really matter?

Probably not, but I was alluding to the terminal phase before that.

[hotandsticky]

4 hours ago, Seeall said:

yes another good point....  dying oneself... so what...  but loved ones mourniong, missing and your affairs left behind to sort out... not nice... if you love them clean up your <deleted> 

Makes me think about wills here in TH .. after you have gone you cant come back to fix things up if its not correct.... a dilema... I guess best is complete POA to someone...

PoA ceases on death. 

 

A Will is certainly worth thinking about. First think about what you want to happen to your assets and take from there. I have seen oved ones lose out on a lot of money because that didn't happen.