Losing my religion

[Fat is a type of crazy]

19 minutes ago, bignok said:

Americans like to talk. Aussies just do stuff.

I think that's a good point. Wouldn't get on a site like this and wax lyrical about sexual proclivities or whatever. Not due to being squeamish or hung up. Seems a bit crass that's all. 

[Walker88]

11 hours ago, Rampant Rabbit said:

Its a  human trait to want to "believe" in a God ( nonsense of course ) its  also a human trait to want to think life has any meaning whatsoever. I really dont see why there should be any meaning, it just "is".

Just remember as Monty Python sang, you were the lucky sperm that actually came to fruition. Then you can listen to "Every sperm is sacred" good  old  dig at religion, followed by the "Galaxy song" One day it  will all be gone......... pause for thought and realise "you" are nothing, then get on with whaetever you do, could be worse you could have been born in a  starving African country.

 

 

 

 

You nailed it. Accept reality for what it is and enjoy it. The nature of reality is infinitely fascinating, and I never tire of thinking and learning about it, whether considering how cells in a body function, what instinct drives me to do, how some things please or don't, about the vastness of space and time, or how things behave at a subatomic level. All of that---which is real and of astonishing complexity--- is so much more interesting than some supposed creator or worrying about rules that tell you where you can or cannot put your appendages and when, or what animals you must avoid, or how women have to dress like giant eggplants, or telling some make believe entity how great it is and how you love it so.

 

I have no faith and don't think much of any of them, even the ones claiming they're just a 'philosophy', not a religion (at the retail level, its adherents treat it exactly like any other religion, forever asking for things and wishing for all the things that 'philosophy' supposedly teaches them not to desire). Personally, I think its founder was manic depressive and just found his own way to address it. His personal solution subsequently became a faith, similar to how an alibi or lie became another major religion "I swear, Joey, God did it". Many people need to believe in something. Dr Robert Sapolsky is of the view religion was 'selected into' the species in a Darwinian sense, because a belief there is something/someone/meaning/etc. reduces stress, and stress kills. He bases that on the fact every culture has invented myths and control entities.

 

I've always been incredibly lucky. I didn't truly realize just how lucky until I started looking outside of myself. Without going into too much detail, I tried to spread my luck around. I met people who had nothing, and who had a thousand bad things happen every day and maybe one good thing. They focused on the one good thing. I had a life where a thousand good things happened every day, and maybe one bad thing, yet I put too much attention into the bad thing. I learned from them and it took a guy who was generally pretty happy and amped it up. I have almost everything I could ever want or need, except the one thing nobody can have: more time to enjoy this life.

 

Besides the wonders of existence, each of us is sharing this brief time and space with others. Rather than navel gazing, put more attention on those around you. There is always someone who could use a helping hand, or a little confidence boosting, a sympathetic ear, or even a joke or two. Put attention on either of those---the beauty of existence or the interactions with those around you---and the things that ail or worry you disappear. Obviously it is made a lot easier if one is healthy and has daily needs taken care of (that is where my luck comes into it).

 

For the OP, I would advise against producing a kid, as your happiness or meaning is quite a burden to foist on to someone else. Besides, there's plenty of kids out there already who could use some care and attention. Focus outside of yourself, whether it's toward this lovely tropical country or the people around you who you care about. Forget yourself, except to remind yourself how lucky you are to exist and how lucky you are to have materialized where and when you did. Of the 125 billion or so people who have existed since our ancestors walked out of Oldavai Gorge, nobody has come into this world under better circumstances that white males in developed countries.  Nothing stood in the way of enjoyment and success except for obstacles one created for himself. Imagine how easy the life of a white male born in a developed nation is vs a female born in rural Bangladesh or N'Djamena.

 

Most of us are incredibly lucky.

[Walker88]

16 minutes ago, Walker88 said:

You nailed it. Accept reality for what it is and enjoy it. The nature of reality is infinitely fascinating, and I never tire of thinking and learning about it, whether considering how cells in a body function, what instinct drives me to do, how some things please or don't, about the vastness of space and time, or how things behave at a subatomic level. All of that---which is real and of astonishing complexity--- is so much more interesting than some supposed creator or worrying about rules that tell you where you can or cannot put your appendages and when, or what animals you must avoid, or how women have to dress like giant eggplants, or telling some make believe entity how great it is and how you love it so.

 

I have no faith and don't think much of any of them, even the ones claiming they're just a 'philosophy', not a religion (at the retail level, its adherents treat it exactly like any other religion, forever asking for things and wishing for all the things that 'philosophy' supposedly teaches them not to desire). Personally, I think its founder was manic depressive and just found his own way to address it. His personal solution subsequently became a faith, similar to how an alibi or lie became another major religion "I swear, Joey, God did it". Many people need to believe in something. Dr Robert Sapolsky is of the view religion was 'selected into' the species in a Darwinian sense, because a belief there is something/someone/meaning/etc. reduces stress, and stress kills. He bases that on the fact every culture has invented myths and control entities.

 

I've always been incredibly lucky. I didn't truly realize just how lucky until I started looking outside of myself. Without going into too much detail, I tried to spread my luck around. I met people who had nothing, and who had a thousand bad things happen every day and maybe one good thing. They focused on the one good thing. I had a life where a thousand good things happened every day, and maybe one bad thing, yet I put too much attention into the bad thing. I learned from them and it took a guy who was generally pretty happy and amped it up. I have almost everything I could ever want or need, except the one thing nobody can have: more time to enjoy this life.

 

Besides the wonders of existence, each of us is sharing this brief time and space with others. Rather than navel gazing, put more attention on those around you. There is always someone who could use a helping hand, or a little confidence boosting, a sympathetic ear, or even a joke or two. Put attention on either of those---the beauty of existence or the interactions with those around you---and the things that ail or worry you disappear. Obviously it is made a lot easier if one is healthy and has daily needs taken care of (that is where my luck comes into it).

 

For the OP, I would advise against producing a kid, as your happiness or meaning is quite a burden to foist on to someone else. Besides, there's plenty of kids out there already who could use some care and attention. Focus outside of yourself, whether it's toward this lovely tropical country or the people around you who you care about. Forget yourself, except to remind yourself how lucky you are to exist and how lucky you are to have materialized where and when you did. Of the 125 billion or so people who have existed since our ancestors walked out of Oldavai Gorge, nobody has come into this world under better circumstances that white males in developed countries.  Nothing stood in the way of enjoyment and success except for obstacles one created for himself. Imagine how easy the life of a white male born in a developed nation is vs a female born in rural Bangladesh or N'Djamena.

 

Most of us are incredibly lucky.

And the short version to the OP:

 

Forget yourself....happiness will ensue.

[Ben Zioner]

14 hours ago, bignok said:

Im 49, gf 35. She wants a kid. Some days I do too. Other days no.

 

I wonder if a kid is the way to go.

I'd be devastated if you were my dad.

[bignok]

2 minutes ago, Ben Zioner said:

I'd be devastated if you were my dad.

Me too. I'd ask to send you back to Planet of the Apes and wonder what went wrong. 

[charleskerins]

14 hours ago, Prubangboy said:

My pre-Thailand story has a lot of rage and sadness in it. So pretty much the same as just about everyone else's pre-Thailand story. I feel that old rage and sadness every day. A lot of it resonates with much older rage and sadness. It comes and goes. 

 

I have a very good life. At 71, to be still doing my wife is like winning the Oscar. If I'm still unhappy, please take me out and shoot me. 

 

Since you're self-help-ish, google Constructive Living, a zen based approach to getting over yourself.

 

Prime quote:

 

Suffering is mandatory. Misery is optional (ie. don't dwell on it).

Where are you from?  Your posts are interesting and articulate-also humorous.

 

   "At 71, to be still doing my wife is like winning the Oscar."

[charleskerins]

3 minutes ago, bignok said:

Me too. I'd ask to send you back to Planet of the Apes and wonder what went wrong. 

OUCH  Someone just got knocked the #### out and it wasn't Big Nok.

[bignok]

Just now, charleskerins said:

OUCH  Someone just got knocked the #### out and it wasn't Big Nok.

I just slaughtered him.

[charleskerins]

"Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind."

[Chongalulu]

15 hours ago, bignok said:

15 hours ago, Baht Simpson said:

Should lose your virginity first.   

 

 

What does that mean?

You'll understand when you've lost your own...

[hotchilli]

19 hours ago, bignok said:

I asked before about meditation retreats but asking again for clarity from those that have done 7 days to 30 days.

 

Does it improve your ability to relax? Disconnect? Zone out or zone in? Does it improve your patience? Improve your ability to not care?

It does what you want, even cleanses your wallet.

[Prubangboy]

3 hours ago, bignok said:

the Pattaya "golfer" 

 

 

I love that guy. Has the deets, will engage.

 

A solid must-click when I see his name.

[Gandtee]

17 hours ago, Prubangboy said:

.....more to the point, try relaxation response and yogic breathing. The other stuff like detachment and patience work is accomplished by lowering your ego. Meditation is a very roundabout approach to that.

 

Try Buddhist psychology instead. Two books: Why Buddhism is True and Buddha Brain will lay out the logic of why your ego is just a pile of nonsense. Then it would be a very slow, water on a rock process to be a little lighter.

Then why do Thai practitioners of their version of Buddhism seem to have inflated egos and to lose face is something unbearable?

[Prubangboy]

34 minutes ago, Gandtee said:

Then why do Thai practitioners of their version of Buddhism seem to have inflated egos and to lose face is something unbearable?

 

Because spiritual practice is no guarantee of anything.

 

Are catholics saints? They have a lot of exemplary saints to point to (many of them made up), and yet, on average, catholics are nice people who are trying to lead a better life and like that particular lifestyle brand.

 

I live next door to an advanced Hindu meditator who has a scholar level knowledge and deep connection about Shiva-worship, both as a Jungian icon and diety. When we moved in, he asked us, "I hope you don't mind a little Vedic chanting".

 

We told him that we'd pay extra for Vedic chanting. He took us at our word, It's been a wailing, glottal-stopping journey. He's going home soon, we're crushed. We talk about meditation a bit, he's def hit the Jhana states.

 

On the other hand, he recently warned us to buy Crypto because Biden will soon be faking an alien invasion (like the moon landing) to take over the world (via Ukraine).

 

The worth of meditation is mostly interior for the meditator. Whether that work makes you a more evolved or loving person is on you, not meditation.

 

That's why I, who love meditation, almost always urge others not to do it. The guy who said it makes him nap needs to take the cosmic spiritual lesson that he needs more rest in his life and maybe a bit more hydration. He's good to go.

 

As to the Thai aspects, I see those as more poor person in poor places behavior issues. You'd find the same defensiveness and worry about status in Cancun or Bradford.

 

 

[Rockhopper]

Do you want tough meditation? Try Zen Buddhist meditation. (Mahayana Buddhism). Zen directly appeals to the facts of life instead of to concepts.

[Chris Daley]

The bums on here don't need to relax anymore.  Daily massages, surrounded by models and now a ''retreat'' what ever that is.  How much more relaxation do you need.

[BritManToo]

4 hours ago, bignok said:

Americans like to talk. Aussies just do stuff.

Q: why do Aussies come so quick?

A: so they can rush down the boozer to tell all their mates!

[Prubangboy]

6 minutes ago, Rockhopper said:

Try Zen 

Def has the hottest women in Buddha-dom, plus the Boheme glamor of The Beats.

 

BUT: Numerically tiny, like sub-Quaker. Prob 90% of them world wide are in N. California. 

 

And like you said, just too hard. I did a week in Mount Koyasan in Japan. The hard mat was part of it. No thanks.

[spidermike007]

It can be very, very effective, depends on how much effort you put into it, and it depends on how much ability you have to focus the mind. It does take a tremendous degree of concentration, but then again it also improves concentration.

 

It's very beneficial, it does help you to achieve a level of objectivity, but only after practicing for many years, and it can provide a great deal of peace of mind. Even joy and bliss if you are able to go deep enough. 

[parallelman]

You don't have to get involved with any 'spirit' but your own. Try soft Tai Chi, learn the slow movements that will enable calm and a clear head as well as improving your general well being. There is also some meditation where you will be helped to look deep into your self and clear the 'cobwebs' away, so to speak. Depends on the school of course, but animals generally represent different attributes. the movement of stroking the horse's mane for calm and slowly pushing the mischievous monkey (representing ego, stress and the like). The advantage here is that you can do it by yourself anytime anywhere.

[Ben Zioner]

4 hours ago, bignok said:

I just slaughtered him.

So much for "meditation"..

[bignok]

3 hours ago, Chongalulu said:

You'll understand when you've lost your own...

The material on here is so bad I wonder how many ever finished school. Not many it seems. Go ask a bargirl to teach you a few lines. A bystander would struggle to tell which one is more educated.

[bignok]

3 minutes ago, Ben Zioner said:

So much for "meditation"..

I will pray for you.

[Skeptic7]

 

 

Lifelong atheist here❗

Losing My Religion GREAT tune. 

 

 

[bignok]

1 hour ago, Chris Daley said:

The bums on here don't need to relax anymore.  Daily massages, surrounded by models and now a ''retreat'' what ever that is.  How much more relaxation do you need.

Models? You mean blow up dolls?

[Chongalulu]

38 minutes ago, bignok said:

I will pray for you.

Talk to your imaginary friend then...

[Ben Zioner]

39 minutes ago, bignok said:

I will pray for you.

Yes, one resorts to prayers when incapable of meditation.

[Chongalulu]

41 minutes ago, bignok said:

The material on here is so bad I wonder how many ever finished school

Of which bignok is a major contributor.

[bignok]

20 minutes ago, Chongalulu said:

Of which bignok is a major contributor.

Doesn't make sense.

[1FinickyOne]

20 hours ago, bignok said:

Just have fun

I did a one day silent retreat and it was not easy or particularly pleasant... it was quite emotional. For me, one day was more than enough.