Important parts in bold, you can skip the rest unless you're bored. 

What would be a typical/normal cost of living for a family (mom, grandma, 2 kids) in a village near Buriram?

 

Here's the situation: During Covid I met my gf in a club. She was looking for a sponsor bf so I was aware from the start she's essentially working. Due to Covid I was stuck in my home country for long periods, where I have family but no friends or any type of contact with women - I've lived abroad for 20+ years so little interest in the women back home. I was ok with the idea of helping her with her cost of living in echange for some company - even if virtual.

Later on I actually moved back to Thailand and we were living together for a year, during which she was great taking care of me - cooking, cleaning, the whole deal. Her mom was taking care of her kids, but when her daughter started school she wanted to be there, and I wanted to live in Bangkok - which she hates - so we decided it would be for the best for her to live with her mom and come visit me occasionally. I enjoy the freedom so that works for me.

Now here comes the problem- back when we started she wasn't asking for much. Just a few thousand baht here and there. Little by little she started asking for more and more until I realized I'm giving her insane amounts like 70-90k baht a month and dialed it back. I told her I will give her 1500 baht a day (45k a month) and she should use that to cover her expenses. That worked for about two days before she started to ask for more "can I have 1500 for electricity bill?" "can I have 1000 baht to go buy food". I tried to ask her what is she spending the daily 1500 on?? it's supposed to cover these expenses.

I do send her some extras here and there when there is a big bill etc, but knowing cost of living here there is no possible way in my mind that she could be spending north of 50k baht a month on cost of living - most Thais don't make anywhere close to this, and for sure not in a village in isaan. My thinking is she's either saving most of the money I give her and trying to get more as much as she can, or she's spending it on someone/something other than family - either a Thai bf or gambling or mooching family - I don't know the actual reason but I know this makes no sense.

 

Am I crazy to assume there's no possible way a family in a village in isaan spends +50k baht a month??

 

P.S. Please don't offer moral judgement or "you need to dump her" advice - I'm fully aware she's working and taking advantage of me - eventually I will end it, but not today.

I live just up the road. That amount is insane.

I can't speak to Thai culture, but I have been in a relationship where money was the principle reason for them to be with me.

 

Whatever you give, that's the new standard. That standard only resets upward. There are no sudden bills or emergencies, just sudden resets of expectation. She can't stop it, so you have to.

 

No judgement, much empathy, don't take it personally; it's just a poor person with a lot of poor person pressures and mentality. Finding poor people without a lot of poor people problems is down to luck.

You are being played big time. I live in Buriram with my thai wife and no way you need that amount of money to live. It is definitely one of the possibilities you mentioned and you are being used like an unlimited atm to spit money out.

Cap it at 20,000 a month. But if you are not with her much why give any? 

7 hours ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

eventually I will end it, but not today.

If you want to end it why wait? Just giving money away. This isn't a moral judgement just common sense.

 

Best response to money request is no response. A lot of gold diggers in Thailand. They just lie non stop. Always some issue. Well get a job and pay it yourself.

 

 

16 minutes ago, uttradit said:

Cap it at 20,000 a month. But if you are not with her much why give any? 

As per above, if he went to 50K, there's no way he can ever go back to 20K. It will be an endless war.

 

I mean an endless war if he even attempts to trim it back to 45K.

 

He has it, she knows it, and that settles it.

7 hours ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

Am I crazy to assume there's no possible way a family in a village in isaan spends +50k baht a month??

simple answer - no, you are not.
The question that immediately comes to mind is, why? Why on earth would you be fine with someone taking advantage of you? You know she is essentially lying and stealing from you. You've already likely made her richer than anyone else in her entire village, including the village Poo Yai, unless she has relocated in the meanwhile to a nicer place or started building her own house on your dime. Don't feel sorry for cutting her off, if that thought ever came to mind.
I imagine you know already... but just for the heck of it, I'll say it. There are actually a lot of working girls who are quite decent. Unfortunately, you didn't find one of them. I think your odds aren't so bad to just try again. I'd think it wouldn't be that hard to find one who'd also like, from what it sounds like, your pretty easy going preferences. Plenty would be happy enough to stay in BKK, whether with you or at her own place. Just look around a bit, should be pretty easy, unless you're fat, bald, ugly, and missing half your teeth. No offense if that describes you, it would just narrow your odds a bit, that's all 😛 But if you're a nice guy, the field is very easy, especially if they can get even just 10-20k a month from you!

It's a simple decision. Do you want to be with her in 2 years time? If no stop today. Stop all communication. If you want to be with her its 5,000 a week or nothing. Let her decide. Do you want 5,000 or nothing? You have the power not her. If she argues finish it today. Just common sense. Nothing else to think about.

 

I don't know why guys fall for all the lies.

Give her a raise, she'll love you even more!  

My best friend has a lot of relationships that go south around the 4-6 month mark.

 

Being the caring empath that he is, when he sees the bloom going off the rose, he front loads a lot of sex, partic anal.

 

Usually, I urge people, "don't be that guy", but in your case.........

Give nothing. Change phone number. 

5 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

My best friend has a lot of relationships that go south around the 4-6 month mark.

 

Being the caring empath that he is, when he sees the bloom going off the rose, he front loads a lot of sex, partic anal.

 

Usually, I urge people, "don't be that guy", but in your case.........

You friend sounds smart.

Run Forest run!

 

Dans channel has stacks of amusing, mugs sponsoring Thai girl stories. He lives in Buriram

 

 

4 minutes ago, uttradit said:

You friend sounds smart.

I told him if he wants to have a lot of sex with someone who's not that into him, he should just get married.

 

But he likes a mix. São Paulo is semi-newly on the map for his ilk. 

 

But to the OP: If you don't like paying TODAY, this is the high water mark.

 

You will like paying even less even 2 hours from now, let alone 2 weeks from now.

 

You will prob want to leave her with some kind of kiss-off financial grant.

 

Whatever number you have in mind, cut it in half to avoid future self-kicking.

What gets me is these guys pay more when they aren't there. No sex, no fun, just an atm. If you are there having a good time it makes sense but if you are paying 50,000 a month when not there you are being played when the average wage is 12,000 in the smaller cities.

 

Honey can i have money for ....

 

Your response should be ignore.

I've been visiting, working and living in Thailand on and off for several decades and this is almost a standard script for many of the relationships between a Western male and a Thai lady.  You'll probably find a few addictions behind these demands for money (alcohol, yaba, gambling etc) - brothers, sisters etc.  Its very unlikely its all being spent on wholesome activities - but I think you know that?

I am baffled why the guys continually pay out.  Its not always to poor women either, sometimes the more affluent women with 'proper' jobs are worse because they have proportionately higher expectations.

Anyway, there are plenty of decent, attractive, women out there who won't take advantage. Look for one of them.

2 minutes ago, uttradit said:

No sex, no fun, just an atm. 

 

 

 

 

Codependency is a real problem and worth a wiki.

 

Short version: You're so into the drama of their problems that it lets you off the hook from addressing your own.

1 minute ago, Prubangboy said:

Codependency is a real problem and worth a wiki.

 

Short version: You're so into the drama of their problems that it lets you off the hook from addressing your own.

It's a sign of loneliness. They need someone to talk to even if it costs money. I know a guy who does it. My advice would be find a local to talk to. Pay her to massage you and get it off your chest. Cheaper and more fun. 

8 hours ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

told her I will give her 1500 baht a day (45k a month) and she should use that to cover her expenses. That worked for about two days before she started to ask for more "can I have 1500 for electricity bill?"

Try the following. No money for 7 days. No talk either. See what happens. Then ask her are you ready to live on a budget of 5,000 a week? If no. End it. Given the average weekly wage is 3,000 in Buriram she should be happy.

 

 

6 minutes ago, uttradit said:

It's a sign of loneliness. They need someone to talk to even if it costs money. I know a guy who does it. My advice would be find a local to talk to. Pay her to massage you and get it off your chest. Cheaper and more fun. 

Agree.

A lot of Western guys in Thailand are lonely or have emotional problems, low self-esteem etc.  They are vulnerable and easily preyed upon by these women. 

1 minute ago, HauptmannUK said:

 

They are vulnerable and easily preyed upon by these women. 

If you like the idea of dramatically solving the problems of good looking women, Thailand will never let you down. 

 

Actually, you're good to go anywhere on earth.

 

It's just cheaper here, like the pad thai is.

8 hours ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

What would be a typical/normal cost of living for a family (mom, grandma, 2 kids) in a village near Buriram?

 

Mom and granny should be residing in granny's house.  No rent to pay.  Water will be 100 baht per month, electricity if they have AC around 1000.  Mom might be selling at the market or flogging used clothing on Facebook so there should be some income.  Granny raises veggies and chickens.  A couple thousand for basic foodstuffs.  Are the kidlets in school, and is there tuition due?

 

45,000 baht/month?   That's a lotta lottery tickets and spa treatments and hotel stays with special brothers.

 

Tell her you want a detailed list of monthly expenses.

Then cap it at 5,000 monthly.

1 minute ago, Prubangboy said:

If you like the idea of dramatically solving the problems of good looking women, Thailand will never let you down. 

 

Actually, you're good to go anywhere on earth.

 

It's just cheaper here, like the pad thai is.

Almost worth pretending to be a woman to get 50,000 a month. You could live well outside Bangkok. 

So what advice are you looking for? You already know 50k is insane and you are being taken for a ride. Either accept it or dump her.

50k is king money in isaan. Just dole it out like a militant or you’ll be in trouble 

Don't forget to tell her that if she is receiving regular money from abroad it now has to be at the Thai revenue department. 

If I, as a foreigner have to declare all income that I bring into Thailand then so should all the Thai people who are receiving "sponsorship" money from abroad...

 

There are several that live around me who receive monthly sums to take care of half Farang children.

 

This thread is insane! 50k for living expenses for a poor Thai family in Isaan? It´s amazing how far some people are willing to go.

She wants you to feel like a hero, the best man ever, and hopes that you won't want that feeling to go away. Tell her she knows she's been on a good gig and that you hope she enjoyed it but now it's 20000 a month or whatever. She'll not be happy but likely adapt fast. 

That's assuming you are still getting something you want and want to pay at all. 

56 minutes ago, Gottfrid said:

This thread is insane! 50k for living expenses for a poor Thai family in Isaan? It´s amazing how far some people are willing to go.

She is a clubgirl not just a bargirl.